The Mummyfesto (38 page)

The headline next morning was particularly damning. ‘
Put Your Own House in Order First
’ it screamed, above the picture of Will. Followed by what was essentially an assassination attempt on me, albeit with words rather than bullets. I felt grateful that at least this wasn’t America.

The gist of it was that before I started pontificating about how the rest of the country should be raising their children and what the government needed to do to become more child-friendly, I should make sure I knew what my teenage son was up to on a Friday night.

To be honest, you couldn’t really argue with that. I went with Sam’s suggested comments, but I knew it was only damage-limitation. The question was, how much damage had it already done? To the party and to my family.

I logged on to Twitter. My timeline was full of messages of support: people sending their love, telling me to stay strong, saying their teenagers had done far worse things.

I checked my direct messages. Some fellow mummy-bloggers asking if I were OK, saying they were around if I needed to talk. And one message from Gavin from Radio 4, saying simply, ‘Don’t let the bastards get you down. I’ve got ten quid riding on you, remember?’

It had turned into the week from hell. The phrase ‘it’s all gone pear-shaped’ didn’t even begin to describe it. I suppose on one level I should have been grateful that I had something to take my mind off Oscar’s cold. Maybe if I’d had a bit more sleep I’d have been up to going on some kind of offensive. As it was, I arrived at Monday morning a physical, emotional and nervous wreck.

I rang work to tell them I wouldn’t be able to come in because of Oscar.

Marie answered. ‘You sound like you need some respite yourself,’ she said.

‘We’ll be fine. We’ve been here before.’

‘No, I mean it. Why don’t you all come in? We could take care of Oscar while you guys got a bit of a break.’

It was incredibly tempting. But I hated the thought of taking up a room when I knew how precious they were.
And how some families needed them far more than we did. Besides, I knew Rob wouldn’t want to go.

‘Thanks,’ I said. ‘But we’ll manage. Hopefully he’s over the worst of it now. The doctor said he hadn’t got any worse last night.

‘OK,’ said Marie. ‘But if you change your mind you only have to call.’

I came off the phone to find Zach loitering in the hallway, still only half-dressed for school and looking decidedly glum.

‘Hey, what’s up?’ I said, crouching down to him.

‘I don’t like going on my own when Oscar’s poorly.’

I smiled and hugged him to me. ‘I know, love. But you still need to go in. And there’s really not much you can do at home.’

‘I could read to him again, or something,’ Zach said.

‘You’ve been a brilliant helper,’ I said. ‘But the doctor said the thing he really needs right now is rest. And he’ll get more of that if you’re at school. You know what he’s like. He’ll be trying to tell you jokes all the time or wanting to do magic tricks if you’re here.’

‘I guess so,’ he said.

‘How about you come and read to him when you get home? I’m sure he’d like that.’

‘OK.’

‘Right,’ I said, standing back up again. ‘You get yourself ready in super-quick time. Paul will be here for you in a minute.’

‘Why isn’t Jackie taking Alice to school?’ he asked.

‘Jackie’s mum needs looking after at the moment, love.’

He nodded. I was worried some of the older kids at school might talk about what had been in the papers. I still wasn’t going to tell him myself, though. He already had the weight of Oscar’s illness on his shoulders. If I gave him anything more to worry about he might just keel over.

A few minutes later Paul knocked on the door.

‘How’s she doing?’ I asked quietly while Alice was stroking the cat.

‘It’s brought a whole load of stuff back for her, I think. She still hasn’t really talked about it properly, though. She’s at her mum’s today, they’re trying to sort out a new care plan.’

‘Tell her if she can’t make it over tonight I’ll completely understand.’

‘She says she still wants to come. To be honest I think it will be good for her. To be with you guys, I mean. Think she could do with some female company.’

‘Of course,’ I said. ‘Whatever she thinks best.’

I poked my head around Oscar’s door.

‘Mummy,’ he said.

The brightness in his voice lifted me. Maybe he was over the worst. Maybe we were going to be all right.

‘He’s not long woken up,’ said Rob, glancing up from his chair at the side of the bed. He sounded shattered. He looked it too.

‘I’ll take over now. You can go and get some rest,’ I said.

Rob shook his head. ‘Can’t do, I’m afraid. I promised the woman in Hangingroyd Lane I’d get her kitchen painted by tomorrow.’

‘Right. Well, I’ll do the night shift myself then. I don’t want you running yourself into the ground.’

Rob smiled at me, although I suspected he would contest it later. He gave me a quick kiss as we swapped over.

‘Grab yourself some breakfast on the way out,’ I said. I knew he wouldn’t though. He’d probably just take a banana for later.

‘Right, mister,’ I said to Oscar. ‘Time for the cough machine. Then I think the suction dragon’s going to come and get you.’

Oscar barely raised a smile.

‘You’ve been so brave, love,’ I said stroking his forehead. ‘Hopefully we’ll be back to normal soon.’

‘Can I go back to school then?’

‘Yes,’ I said, glad that he was keen to see his friends again. ‘Of course you can.’

I’d seen happier faces at wakes. Jackie and Anna looked as if they were barely holding it together when I opened the door that evening.

‘Come here,’ I said, giving them a group hug on the doorstep.

‘I feel like I’m attending a meeting of parliamentary candidates anonymous,’ said Jackie.

‘You’d better come in then,’ I said. ‘Before anyone sees you.’

They followed me through to the kitchen.

‘How’s he doing?’ asked Anna, gesturing up towards the sound of Oscar’s cough machine.

‘Hard to tell. He seemed to rally a bit this morning, the doctor still said there was no need for him to go to hospital. But this whole routine with the machines and suctioning leaves him so drained. He’s dipped a bit again now.’

‘Poor you,’ said Jackie.

I shrugged. ‘I guess none of us have had a particularly good week.’

We stood there, seemingly all lost in our own thoughts.

‘Anyone for wine?’ I asked.

‘Actually,’ said Jackie. ‘I could murder a cup of tea.’

I looked at Anna and she nodded. I put the kettle on.

‘How’s your mum, Jackie?’ asked Anna.

‘She’s OK, thanks. I suppose the one blessing is that she’s been pretty oblivious to the whole thing. She didn’t even bat an eyelid about getting a ride home in the police car.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Anna said. ‘About your sister, I mean. I had no idea.’

Jackie nodded. I saw her swallow hard.

‘Have you got anywhere with the carers?’ I asked.

‘They’re doing a couple of extra visits a day,’ she said. ‘But they’ve made it very clear it can only be a short-term measure. They’re suggesting we look at getting her into a care home.’

‘Do you think she’d go for that?’

‘I don’t know. I think she’d find it very upsetting. There
aren’t really any other options, though. We’ve talked about having her live with us, but it’s not as if that would be much better, not with both of us being out all day. She needs to be somewhere safe. Somewhere she can be watched over twenty-four hours a day.’

I nodded. We were quiet again for a moment. I poured the tea. We sat there, staring into our mugs.

‘How’s Will?’ Jackie asked, turning to Anna.

‘Hard to tell really,’ she said. ‘He was doing the old bravado bit this morning, but I suspect he had a rough ride at school today. He was a bit quiet at teatime. I think Charlotte talked more than he did.’

‘You’ve heard then,’ said Jackie. ‘About the girls being suspended.’

‘Yeah,’ Anna said. ‘Charlotte’s really pleased. It’s only a temporary solution, of course, and I know they weren’t the only offenders, but maybe it will make the others think twice about it.

‘It’s daft though, I haven’t even had a chance to feel relieved about it, what with this whole business with Will. It’s bloody ridiculous, isn’t it? If it’s not one, it’s the other.’

‘I remember when they did it to Tony Blair’s son,’ said Jackie. ‘They shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it. I bet some of their teenagers are up to far worse.’

‘I’m just hoping it doesn’t affect his exams,’ said Anna. ‘It couldn’t be worse timing, really.’

‘I’m sure he’ll do fine,’ said Jackie. ‘His drama pieces are looking really good.’

‘That’s if they let him stay in school. I could hardly complain if they suspended him, could I? Not after all the fuss I made about Charlotte. I bet Freeman would love to put me in my place.’

We sat there in gloomy silence for a while. Presumably none of us was able to think of something suitably positive to say.

‘Right,’ I said, eventually, ‘I guess we’d better get down to business.’ I turned around to get my laptop.

‘There’s something I need to tell you.’

I turned back, unsure for a second which one of them had said it. It was only as I saw them staring at each other that I realised they’d both said it. At exactly the same time. I had a clenching feeling in my stomach. I sensed I was bracing myself for more bad news.

‘You go first,’ said Jackie, as if grateful for the opportunity to stall for a moment.

Anna looked at me and let out a big sigh. ‘I’m really sorry,’ she said, ‘but I think I’m going to have to pull out.’

The clenching in my stomach got tighter. I should have guessed this was coming. ‘But Anna, you’ve worked so hard. And you’ve been so bloody brilliant. We wouldn’t be in the position we are now without you.’

‘David gave me an ultimatum. He said I need to choose between the campaign and my family.’

‘Jeez,’ I said. ‘He can’t do that.’

Anna appeared flustered. ‘Well, he did. And do you know what? I can understand where he’s coming from. Our son has had a picture of him drinking and smoking a joint
plastered all over the media. He’s sixteen, for Christ’s sake, and I feel bad that I brought that on him. I’m supposed to be there to protect him, not put him in the firing line. I can’t risk hurting my children like this. It could be Charlotte next and I’m not sure she’s strong enough to take it.’

I glanced across at Jackie. She was looking down at her hands. ‘You’re going to quit too, aren’t you?’ I said quietly.

She nodded. ‘I’m sorry. I just can’t do this at the same time as looking after Mum. It’s not like I’m in a job where I can take time off work. They gave me today off because it was an emergency, but I’m going to have to spend a lot more time with Mum now, when I’m not working. And then there’s the whole business about my sister being dragged up.’ She paused for a second as her voice started to falter. ‘Even if mentally I felt able to get back out there campaigning, I’m just not going to physically be able to spare the time.’

I nodded. The three of us sat in silence, apart from the occasional whirr of my laptop.

‘Look, I know you’ve both had a tough week,’ I said. ‘And I feel awful, absolutely awful, about what’s happened to you and your families and I totally understand your reasons for feeling like this. But this is exactly what the media wanted to happen. They wanted to bring us down and they knew damn well that the way to do that was to get at our families.’

‘And they were right,’ said Anna. ‘This whole thing started because we were trying to protect our families,
remember. I passionately believe in what we’re doing and I lay awake most of last night unable to sleep because I felt so bad about it. But it’s a mother’s instinct to protect her family, isn’t it? And that’s what I’ve got to do.’

‘For what it’s worth, I feel like a complete cow too,’ said Jackie. ‘I know you’ve put in more hours that anyone else on this and I am totally in awe of your ability to keep going when Oscar’s poorly too, but I know that I would never forgive myself if I was out campaigning and Mum wandered off again and something happened to her. It’s lousy timing and all that, but I have to put her first.’