The Murder of Jeffrey Dryden: The Grim Truth Surrounding Male Domestic Abuse (19 page)

“
I miss you so much
sweetheart, there is nothing worse than a mother losing a child,
the hurt just never goes away. I still have those wonderful
memories of you that go thru my head all the time. I wish I could
change time to make you still be here, but I know I can't do that.
All I want is to have you back with me. I miss you so much that it
hurts. Loving you”

February 6 at
12:18pm

“
Honey, we have another
court date again, who knows what will happen this time, I just need
for it to be over and Chiquita to go to prison for the rest of her
life. Even if she does, it still won't be enough, nothing can
replace you or even be justice enough compared to losing you. Oh
God how I miss you!!! No one can ever know how much this hurts my
heart, being without you, I Love You so much.”

February 18 at
3:12pm

“
Another month has come and
gone, it’s been seven months now since you were taken from us. I
miss you so much!! When Jason gives me a hug, he makes it
extra-long, so I can just feel like I am getting one from you. He
misses you so much too. We all do!!! It hurts so much, But I know
you are watching over us from Heaven and some day we will be
together again. I Love You So Much”

March 13 at
3:28pm

“
I don't know what it is
about today, but I have a pain deep down in my heart, and I just
want to cry all the time. I miss you so much it's hard to explain.
I know you are watching over me, but I hurt so bad.”

March 18 at
6:50pm

“
Well my dear son, it has
been another month since we lost you. I think about you all of the
time, and miss you so much. Hopefully in the next month we will
have some sort of justice in the loss of you. I hope Chiquita has
to spend many, many years in prison. I much rather have you back
though. I know it is not possible, but we will see each other in
Heaven and then I want the biggest hug you can give me. I Love You
So Much.”

April 18 at
11:41am

“
Yesterday I made the big
mistake of reading the Jeffrey Dryden Murder on the internet (the
beginning of this book). It made it seem like I just lost you
yesterday. I cried myself to sleep and I still can't stop crying
today. I Love and Miss you so much. How am I going to get through
the trial in May? It hurts so much, a Mother is NOT supposed to
lose a child to such a tragic, senseless, death. I am so pissed off
at Chiquita right now that I want to kill her myself. It has been
nine months ago today since you were taken from us and we all miss
you so, so much. I think of you every minute of the day and talk to
you every night before I go to sleep. I love you my sweet
son.”

May 2 at 12:01pm

“
I am so sorry Honey, We
have to wait again for any Justice. It has been delayed again until
June 20. The new defense attorney asked for this to further their
investigation.”

May 8 at 11:21am

“
I miss you so much,
especially today, being Mother’s Day. I got out the card you gave
me last year for Mother’s Day, and just reading it and you signing
it I LOVE YOU MOM means so much to me. I will keep that card
forever. I Love and miss you so, so much”

May 15 at 12:32pm

“
Happy Birthday Jeff, my
love, my son. It just isn't right, we always celebrate Jason and
your birthday together. This is the first time that you won't be
here when we have cake and ice cream and that just is not right. I
feel like my life is just not right anymore without you here with
us. I Love and miss you so much Honey, no one will ever know how
much.”

May 21 at 9:00am

“
Another month has come,
now we are at 10 months without you. At least this month Chiquita
has finally come to her senses and is going to admit that she
killed you. When she finally gets sentenced, we are going to
celebrate for you. We all love and miss you so much, and think of
you always. I LOVE YOU MOM”

May 22 at 4:41pm

“
Tomorrow is the day we
finally get to hear those words GUILTY!!! I Love You
Honey!!!!”

May 23 at 515pm

“
It was a very nerve
wracking day at court. First, she decided she didn't want to take
the plea, so I was heartbroken. Then once she found out she would
have to pay for another lawyer she took the no contest plea. Either
way, we don't have to go to trial, and that makes me
happy.”

May 23 at 5:08pm

“
We did it Honey, she plead
no contest, but she will still be sentenced for 2nd Degree Murder.
We didn't get to hear that word guilty come out of her mouth, but
she will still have to spend at least 15 years in prison before she
is eligible for parole and could spend up to life in there. We will
find out in June what the sentence will be. We put some balloons at
the cemetery for you. I LOVE AND MISS YOU, MOM”

June 5 at 11:00am

“
Grandma Dryden passed away
yesterday, and I am sure you were there to welcome her. I know you
must be celebrating her life with Grandpa, Grandma, your Dad, and
your other Grandpa. Give them all a hug for me. I Love and miss you
Honey. RIP Gale Dryden.”

June 14 at 5:36pm

“
I am so happy that this
trial is over and she is sentenced to 14 to 45 years. We got
Justice for you. After it was done, we went to the cemetery and
sent 40 balloons up to you in Heaven. It was such a beautiful
sight, seeing them float higher and higher. I Love You so much my
Son. Mom.”

June 15 at
11:40am

“
Jeff, it is the day after
the sentencing and for some stupid reason, I thought I would wake
up and feel so much better. That is not what happened, I just feel
like I want to cry and cry and cry. Oh God how I miss you!!!
Someday I hope we can both rest easy. I LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH
IT HURTS!!!!”

June 23 at
12:45pm

“
I got an early morning
phone call from Kent County Corrections, to inform me that Chiquita
is traveling to Ypsilanti Prison today. She will be in quarantine
for 3 weeks and then taken to another facility and start her nice
long sentence. Finally Justice is served. We did it baby, we did
it. It doesn't bring you back to us, but it makes me feel better. I
Love and Miss you so much!! Love, Mom”

July 9 at 1:52am

“
I don't know what it is,
but lately I have been crying so much my eyes hurt. I can't sleep
and I wish I was in Heaven with you. I miss you so much and it is
so stressful here at home. I used to talk to you about my problems,
but now I can't talk to anyone, It has almost been one year since
you were taken from me, it just doesn't get any easier living
without you. I love you so much”

July 18 at 9:27am (one year
anniversary of Jeff’s Murder)

“
One year ago today our
lives were changed forever. You were taken from us. That bitch took
you away from us. My heart is broken. I know you are in Heaven
watching down on us, but I guess I am selfish, I want you here with
me!! I want a hug, a kiss, and a I Love You Mom from you!! I would
give anything to have you back here with me. I miss you so much it
hurts. If only I could turn back time I would change so many things
to keep you here with us, but I can't do that. So I just have to
keep missing you and missing you. I Love You Forever and
Ever.”

September 1 at
1:24pm

“
Jason and Cierra got
married today and I know you were with us in spirit. Jason wanted
you there too, so he wore his IN MEMORY OF JEFF DRYDEN T-shirt
under his shirt. I could see in his eyes, that he really wished you
were there with him today. We all Love and Miss you so
much.”

September 18 at
12:21pm

“
I spent the day yesterday
with just Jason and Noah, we went to the cemetery to visit with
you. Something Jason needed to do. I think it helped him to spend
time talking to you, he seems so lost without you. I love all of my
kids so much. It brought back a lot of memories of spending the day
just with you. Oh how I miss you!! My life will never be the same;
my heart will never be whole again…,

CHAPTER 22

THE WISDOM OF
FAMILY

When I was a kid, my maternal
grandparents made it their personal mission to have the extended
family over at their house or summer cottage every Sunday. At that
time, I didn’t really understand their full reasoning or the wisdom
behind their mission, as I became accustomed to always seeing my
aunts, uncles, and cousins once a week. It wasn’t until after their
passing, after they were gone and the extended family began
slipping away that I realized their true wisdom.

“
As is life,” some will
say, but to me this should not be. We should not come to our family
as strangers; we should not know them only in passing, talk to them
briefly, when we discover them accidentally at a grocery store or
mall. We should not know them only in names and pictures but know
them as people, as blood.

Through the years, I believe the wisdom
my grandparents tried to leave behind has been lost. Perhaps not
intentionally by everyone but at some point in everyone’s life, it
became normal not to see each other every week, and then not every
month… until finally, if we were to see each other once a year it
was joyous and auspicious event.

The one thing that I can readily take
away from Jeff’s passing is that it has reawakened this wisdom;
reawakened a sense of togetherness and longing so extensively
forgotten by time. Thus, Jeff’s death, to me is not only a tragic
one but one in which will always be with me. His death brought
about a rekindling of family, a renewed sense of desire to know and
remain in the minds of each other’s hearts.

Though there may be some of us who have
fallen back into their own world, and a few that were never truly
awaken by Jeff’s passing, it will be those few that will never know
the love and joy they missed until it has become far too
late.

They will forever see us as mere
pictures in a photo, mere memories of a time long forgotten. Never
knowing the real person we were or the mission of wisdom that was
once pressed upon their hearts.

To all my family that know me as more
than a distant memory, more than a dusty picture. I want to thank
you for the support you showed me while writing this book, as well
as with all the ongoing issues in my personal life and though, as
time goes on I may not always be there with you physically through
the struggles, I will always be at your side in spirit.

Thank you. GOD BLESS…

CHAPTER 23:

CHIQUITA’S FAMILY
RESPONDS

A few weeks ago I was checking OTIS,
which stands for the State of Michigan’s Offender Tracking
Information System (OTIS), to see if anything new had been added to
Chiquita’s offender profile

Though the guards had finally removed
her hair extensions, leaving her with barely any hair left upon her
head, there was nothing new on her page in regards to any fights or
other issues pertaining to how she was spending and enjoying her
time thus far at the State of Michigan’s Women’s Correctional
Facility.

That said, I did notice something most
interesting on her page, which I thought, if anything, should be
noted and shared here. On her offender page, it mentions her
tattoos. One of her tattoos in particular struck a nerve in
me.

It is the tattoo on her lower back of
Chinese symbols, which according to the description stand for the
words “Truth and Respect.” I find it ever so enigmatic that someone
of her caliber would have these, of all symbols, on her person.
Especially when we take into account that from the moment she
slammed the blade of that knife into Jeff’s throat, she lost all
RESPECT for the word TRUTH.

In fact everything she did leading up
to that day was in lack of RESPECT for Jeff, his family, or anyone
else that didn’t fit in with her chosen lifestyle. For the longest
time I wondered where or who could have perverse her understanding
of Truth and Respect in such a way as to allow the symbols tattooed
upon her back to forget their intrinsic meaning, thus becoming only
lines of paint, meaningless pictures of nothingness placed upon her
flesh for all to see and wonder.

It was not until a few days ago that my
wonders ceased and my answer came to me in the form of a comment
left on my publisher website. A comment left by her aunt, in
regards to the concept of this very book. Though it was believe by
her aunt at the time she wrote it to me that her words would never
see the light of day by another, I have since shared it on my
website as well as with all Jeff’s family and friends and thus I
also show it to you. I leave it to you, the reader to decide its
true meaning. To decipher and research the ideals and concepts of
this woman’s rant.

I leave it to you to decide whether
Chiquita is killer or not as her aunt states so boldly in her
sermon. To you to decide if there were two victims that morning she
stabbed Jeff in the neck killing him… to you to decide with your
own intellect as to whether everything I have stated in this book
to be lies or facts…. To you I leave her words to me with and
without added comments.