The Muse (42 page)

You cannot be angry with him.  You caused the whole thing.  Wounding with your words and turning away from his kiss until he was so anxious with worry he drank too much.  When have you ever seen him drunk?  Never!  He came to you tonight begging for reassurance.  Let go of your angst.  He is nothing but honorable and good at every turn. You know he is the best of men.  Whatever happened before cannot be undone and forcing guilt for his past is cruel and unfair.  It has been very painful—his past—and he was entitled and likely to seek out comfort somewhere.  You were wrong to treat him as you did.  You know how much he loves you…and how much you love him.

Imogene’s conscience told her what she needed to hear and she vowed to make amends to her beloved on the morrow.

The next morning when she woke before him it was no surprise.  The spirits he had over-imbibed the evening before were still holding sway over his body.  For now.

Imogene quietly removed herself to the adjoining dressing room, rang for Hester, and prepared for her day.  It was early but she wished to get outside and take advantage of yet another blessing of pleasant weather.  She met Mina at the stairs on her way down to breakfast.  “You have arisen early, Imogene.  Are you well?”

“Very well this morning, thank you, Mina.”

“The men were deep into their cups last night I believe.  Is Graham still feeling the effects of it?” Mina asked with a grin.

“I fear so,” she remarked, shaking her head.  “I have left him undisturbed.  I wish to be outside on this fine morning.  What are your plans, Mina?”

“I was just going in to have a quick bite and some tea.  Then I thought to be off for a walk.  You are most welcome to join me if you are inclined to it.  I often walk early in the morning, although Julian does not thrill to my going off all on my own.”

Imogene nodded her acceptance.  “I would be delighted to join you.  A good long walk would heartily do me good I think.”

“I have just the place to take you—I think you might find it enchanting,” Mina told her.

GRAHAM woke slowly.  The cheerfulness of the morning sun belying the havoc being wreaked inside his head that all was well.  He suffered through the pounding pain and began to sift over the events that had led him to this point: the rift with Imogene in the evening; the over-indulgence of drink with Jules and Colin; his agreement to ride with them today to view that estate as a possibility for Hargreave; staggering up to bed; Imogene in the bed…

It was here in the sequence of events that his memory betrayed him.  He could not recall anything beyond that point, and felt the flicker of unease wrap itself around the cotton that seemed to be stuffed inside his brain.

It is late.  I’ve overslept.

Realizing he had agreed to ride today, he moved to get up from the bed.  Groaning at the pain that gave the impression of having merrily taken up residence inside his skull, he flipped the covers off.

He was nude.

The flicker of unease from before had now developed into a hammering panic. 
Damn!  What did I do?  Did I force myself on her?  I could not have…could I?  Dear God.  No…not that!  She’ll never forgive me.

Graham willed himself to think and concentrate.  He closed his eyes and tried to calm his escalating anxiety.  He remembered a single thought from last night.  He remembered thinking he should not do something, but wanting to do it anyway.  The words
‘You should not,’
rang true in his memory.  There was also a vague but beautiful image of her splayed out on the bed. 
Damn it all to hell!  What does that mean…that I wanted to make love and I did, or that I wanted to, but I did not?  Hell, I always want to.  Did she resist?  What did I do to her?  Blessed Christ, please tell me I did not take her against her will. 
He made an audible cry of anguish, “Imogene, I cannot remember!” He hit his palms repeatedly upon his forehead.

Graham prepared himself for castigation, accepting that it would surely be his fate.  There was nothing for it but to face his wife and ask for the truth.  He called for Phelps and made haste to dress so he could get downstairs and find her, and see about repairing the disaster in his marriage that had erupted overnight.  Headache and malaise dissipated quickly in the rush of panic-laced fear that gripped him in totality.

MINA and Imogene had been walking for a good hour when their destination was finally revealed.  She had led them to a hilltop glade covered in light forest. In the middle of the glade was a small circle of nine stones. The location was dreamlike and unusual in that the stone circle was surrounded by woods.  The setting and the ancient stones presented an atmosphere of quiet and sheltered peace.

“Oh, Mina,” she breathed.  “It is simply magical, a fairy land.  What is this place?”

“I thought you might like it.  I know you favoured the ruins high above Kenilbrooke estate.  Julian tells me the local people call it, ‘The Nine Ladies.’  They are ancient standing stones.  Not very large as some are, but ancient indeed. They were set here before the Romans came even into Britain.  It is said that Druids turned up to standing stones such as these and used them for their magical arts.”

Imogene absorbed Mina’s every word.  “I don’t care who set them here or why, I love this place.  It is so captivating…pure magic, Mina.  Do you not think so?”

“Oh, I think so.  I am just glad you are so delighted with it and that you have an appreciation.  I have not long discovered it myself as the weather was not fit for great walks such as this until recently.  Shall we sit and take a rest?  I do get more fatigued than usual, now.”

“Yes of course, Mina.  I am so sorry to have forgotten.  You must rest and regain your strength.  My sister Philippa told me your body gets tired from growing the baby and you need to take your rest often.”

They both settled their backs against stones.  Mina took out a flask of water and sipped.  She offered it to Imogene who gratefully took a drink.

“I was thinking that
you
might be feeling some tiredness, maybe?  You have needed to take your own rests, Imogene, I have noted,” Mina said with a gentle smile.

Imogene blushed but could not suppress the excitement she was beginning to feel in greater measure as each day passed.  “I admit I do have some suspicions, but I think it is still early to know for certain.  I have said nothing to Graham or anyone.  My last courses were the third week of February.  It is now the third week of April and they are not come.  Do you think I have the start of a child?”

Mina took her hand and patted it. “Honestly?  Yes, you probably do have the start of a child.  You have missed two courses and you are more tired than is normal for you.  Other than that, do you feel well?”

Imogene nodded.  “Very well, except…I have felt irked and provoked by things that should not be a bother to me.  When we return I must beg pardon to Graham, in fact.  I was discourteous to him last night, for no reason really.  Is peevishness a symptom?”

Mina laughed lightly. “According to my dear father, it is.  And he would know, having lived through three such events.”  At seeing Imogene’s remorseful expression she reassured her quickly. “Do not fret, Imogene.  Graham loves you so he would forgive you anything, especially at your joyful prospect.  Do you not believe that he will be in high spirits at the thought of his child?”

“Oh, I believe he will be very happy.  I am just not ready to tell him yet, thinking I could wait until his birthday.  By then I could be more definite.”

“That sounds very reasonable and sensible, Imogene.  I am so glad you are here with us. I hope we have many, many visits such as this over the years.  I can see how happy Julian is to have his dear family all together at Everfell.”

“I know.  I can see the same happiness in Graham and it is good for him to let go of some of his painful burdens.”  She had a pleasant thought and smiled at Mina.  “And soon after this visit you will join us at Gavandon, and we will all be together again.”

GRAHAM could not find Imogene anywhere.  He inquired to Hester who could only tell him that Lady Rothvale had risen earlier than usual and had gone down prepared for the day.  When he asked Hester as to her disposition she said, “My lady was as she always is—proper and elegant, my lord.” 
Thank you, Hester, for that thorough and insightful description as to Lady Rothvale’s spirits this morning.  I am so relieved! 
He barely managed to hold back the sarcastic thoughts before dismissing the maid with a curt nod. 
Where are you, Imogene?  How are you?

He encountered Jules and Colin in the breakfast room.  Both of them nursing strong cups of coffee and possessing the blood-shot eyes fruitful of their particular indulgence of last eve.

“There you are,” Jules croaked, looking him over.  “God, Graham, you look quite stalwart, like a man single-minded in his purpose.  Are you not feeling ill effects of our indulgence last night?  I sure as hell feel it and Colin here could barely make it safely down the stairs.”

“Appearances can be deceiving, Jules.  I feel it all right, I can assure you.  Say, I am looking for Imogene.  Did she leave word with anybody?”

“Yes.  Mrs. Lake tells me that she went on a ramble with Mina.  Both of them up early this morning, awaking to a quiet house I assume.  To be honest, I am grateful she went along.  I do not like for Mina to walk so far all on her own.  She loves it though,” he said wistfully.

Graham relaxed a little, sitting down to the table with his own portion of strong coffee.  He tried to push his anxiety down and away, but it was mostly futile.  The gnawing pit of fear inside his heart gripped him fiercely.  He nodded his head and grunted monosyllabic answers to the questions and comments directed at him but couldn’t have recalled one word of what was discussed at breakfast.

Mina and Imogene had not returned from their walk when it was time to leave for the ride over to the estate.  With a heavy heart weighing him down, Graham accompanied Jules and Colin on their scheduled trip, knowing it would be hours until they returned, until he could make right with Imogene.