The Muse (43 page)

MINA and Imogene made their way back to the house at a slower pace than they had left it.  Both feeling a little worn but thought the walk to the Nine Ladies had been worth the effort.  Mrs. Lake, who was charged with the essential duty to know where her mistress was at all times, greeted them upon their return.  “Mrs. Everley, Lady Rothvale, I hope you enjoyed your walk this morning. I informed Mr. Everley you had gone together.  I must say he expressed his happiness that you were in company,” she said knowingly, to Mina. “Luncheon is set to be ready in an hour.  Miss Vickering and Miss Wilton are in the music room, I believe.”

Imogene wanted to speak to Graham. Her conversation with Mina had cleared away any doubts that lingered about what she needed to do, and she did not want to wait a moment longer. She turned to the housekeeper, asking, “Do you happen to know where my husband might be keeping himself, Mrs. Lake?”

“Oh, Lady Rothvale, they are not here.  Lord Rothvale, Mr. Everley and Mr. Colin have all ridden out together late this morning.  I am not certain of when to expect their return.”

“Yes, that’s right, Imogene. Julian wished them to view a neighbouring estate that has come up for sale. He seeks their opinion on the suitability, and to evaluate its possibilities for the Hargreaves. I cannot deny I am thrilled at the prospect of them coming to live in Warwickshire.  But please say nothing for now, in case you should write to your family as no final decisions have been made.”

Imogene smiled kindly and offered her hopes for a happy result for the Hargreaves. 
I’ll have to wait after all.  Graham, my darling, can you hear me?  I am very sorry.
Accepting that it would be some time before she could right her wrong, Imogene settled in to quiet indoor pursuits with her cousins and thought of all the things she had to be thankful for, and vowed she would not forget it again.

The hours passed slowly.

Imogene grew more anxious at being separated from Graham.

She hated having this friction between them without possibility of immediate repair. 
It is all your fault.  You caused every bit of it.  Think of how he must be feeling.  It will serve you right if he rebuffs your apology when he gets it. He would not do that…would he?

Despite her growing despair, the exertion of the morning walk demanded restorative rest.  Imogene excused herself and went up to the room intending to lie down with a book for some quiet reading, but within minutes drifted into a dreamless sleep.

THE long morning and early afternoon had stretched interminably for Graham.

The estate had been thoroughly viewed and evaluated, and the three men had lunched at a public house afterward.  Now that the welcome view of Everfell was finally in his sights, Graham felt that he could not wait a moment longer to go to her.  He veritably leapt from his horse and shoved the reins toward a waiting groom before dashing up the steps and into the house.  He went directly to the day parlor where he knew the ladies liked to go.  Entering the room with trepidation, he bowed in greeting, and was crestfallen to see that Elle, Mina and Cariss were there, but not his Imogene.

“You are back,” Mina greeted him.

He tilted his head in acknowledgement, offered a weak smile and spoke, “I had thought …Imogene…might be in here with you.”

“She has gone upstairs to rest.  She was feeling tired,” Mina told him.

Worry flooded him.  “Is she ill?  It is not like her to sleep in the day.”  He frowned.

“I do not think she is ill, just tired.  Our walk this morning was quite vigorous,” Mina answered.

“Ladies.”  Bowing first, he indicated his impending departure and quickly made his escape.

The girls shared humorous glances all around before Elle disclosed her thoughts out loud.  “My cousin is the most besotted husband in all of England.  At least it appears that way for others to see.  He reads like an open book.  I hope that when he finds her, she puts him out of his misery.”  They all laughed.

It would have been easier to cut off his own arm, than to keep away from her.  He entered the room very quietly and found that she was indeed asleep.  He stood and studied her for a moment: so beautiful resting on her side, her hands tucked under the pillow edge.  The book she had been reading was next to her on the bed.  Tilting to get a glance at it, he smiled, recognizing the volume of Robert Herrick’s poems he had given her at Christmas. 
That is a good sign. 
Very quietly he stepped back and seated himself on the settee.  He made himself comfortable and focused his eyes onto the form of his sleeping wife, content to stay there watching over her until she was ready to awaken.

He did not have a long time to wait.  Observing her involuntary movements, he saw the change in her breathing, the slight twitch of her eyes underneath her lids, indicating that she was waking.  He tensed, unable to stop the fear from rising. 
Please let her be willing to hear me out. 
Lifting his head, he closed his eyes in silent, fervent prayer.  When he lowered his head and opened his eyes he was rewarded with the very open and awake eyes of his beloved.  She smiled. 
She’s smiling at me. 
Imogene pulled her hands out from under the pillow and lifted her arms to him, calling him to her.

Not waiting for a second invitation, he lurched forward into her arms, settling himself on the bed facing her.  He said nothing for a moment, just held on to her, absorbing her, savouring the moment.  Graham could not have been more shocked than he was then, to hear the following words come from her lips, “My darling, I must beg your pardon for my abominable behaviour toward you last night.  Can you possibly forgive me?”

She is apologizing?

“Wait, you are not angry and disgusted with me for last night?”

A look of confusion crossed over her features.  She frowned slightly.  “No, darling, why would I be?  You are the one who should be angry.  I was well out of sorts last night, nonsensical and ill-mannered, abandoning you during the dancing and turning from you.  I am so dreadfully sorry for all of it.  I do not know what came over me, but I do know you did not deserve such treatment.  I have been waiting all day to ask for your forgiveness.”

“You have?”

“I have.” She cupped his cheek and rubbed with her thumb.  “It has been torture waiting for your return.”

He just continued gaping at her incredulously, saying nothing.

“Please tell me that you can forgive me,” she implored in a whisper.

You are begging my forgiveness?  This is the last thing I would have expected to end this hideous forenoon.  Thank the glorious heavens!

He pulled her close in a fevered kiss and began to laugh in silent shudders, nearly giddy with relief.  “I forgive you,
chérie
…I love you…I adore you,” he chanted between kisses.

“Graham?  Are you laughing at me?”

“God, no.  I am laughing at the irony of the situation,
chérie.
You see, I was very drunk last night and know not what happened or what I might have done when I came up to bed.  I woke late this morning and you were gone on your walk so I could not judge your countenance.  I found myself unable to remember anything at all and I was…nude in the bed.  I had terrible fear that I had pressed you, forced myself on you, and that you would despise me.”

A slow grin appeared on Imogene’s face at his words.  She arched her brows at him. “So you remember
nothing
of us last night?”  Her words gave him the sure impression of details yet undisclosed.

“What?  What are you not telling me, Imogene?” he asked in a low voice.  “Did something happen between us?  Did I…?”  When Imogene continued to smile slyly at him without further explanation he felt the unease begin to creep in once again.  “Imogene, please!  Please tell me what I did,” he begged.

“I am sorry, darling, but I must say it feels wonderfully satisfying to actually be aware of something you know nothing about.”  She brushed his lips with her fingers, smiling coquettishly.

He rolled his eyes.  “Not that tired subject again.  Please tell me before I have an apoplexy!  I cannot bear this uncertainty for another minute, Imogene.”  He grew cold.  “I did impose myself on you, didn’t I?”  When she didn’t deny it he realized the truth.  “I knew it.  In my heart I knew I must have.”

“Stop!” she ordered, gripping his face with both hands.  “Stop this worry you have.  You are nearly hysterical.  I’ll tell you everything, I promise, but you must relax and take your ease.  Do I look like I am angry, or frightened, or offended by you?  No, I do not because I am none of those things, Graham.”

Her words helped him to relax a little.

“You came to bed and did awaken me with your loving attentions.  When I asked you if you were foxed you answered honestly that you were and told me you loved me very much.  You also said you knew I was vexed with you but that you didn’t know why, and wanted to know what
you
had done to upset
me
.”  She reached to stroke his hair.  “You were amorous, it’s true, but you asked for my willingness in it, and it was only when I assured you that I was indeed willing that you…proceeded.  You would never force me, Graham.  It’s not in your nature to even be capable of it.  Do you not know yourself better than that?”

He just stared at her unbelievingly.  “This is bizarre.  Having you telling me all of this and remembering none of it is the most disturbing feeling.  So, now that we have established I made love to you in my oblivious state of drunkenness, how was I?”  He threw the question out recklessly, knowing he was completely at her mercy by this point.

She appeared to hold back a chuckle, rolling her lips closed.  “Let’s just say you were more
self-serving
than I have ever known you to be, my darling.”  The laugh she had held back before now escaping in good measure.

“Ugh!”  He actually felt himself flush.  “It cannot possibly get any worse.  So I did nothing for you?” he asked mortified.

Imogene laughed. “Darling you tried, most valiantly and I was very appreciative until—” Continued laughing stopped her words.

“I misspoke before, it is worse still!  Please continue.  You might as well tell me all of it and take it to the bitter end,” he groused.

“You finished quite suddenly and…collapsed out cold.  My greatest concern by that point was to get out from underneath you, for you had quite trapped me in your unconscious state and you were utterly unresponsive to my prodding and entreaties that you should move off.”

“Sweet heavenly Christ!  I am, I—I am without words—”  He looked up to the ceiling and raised his hands.  “Am I in hell?”

Imogene laughed and laughed and could not stop.  The clear, happy sound of it assuring him that she forgave his drunken, tactless lovemaking of the night before and that she did, for some reason, find it
very
amusing.

It took a significant amount of soothing to convince him to let it go.  Even so, he hoped she was left with the understanding that he would have gone to the ends of the earth to make it up to her.  She told him she was just happy to be back in harmony with only love and caring between them.

“My walk with Mina this morning was remarkable.  She took me to the most magical place.  I am still entranced by it utterly.  It is a fairy ring of set stones in the most lovely secluded glade.”

“You went to The Nine Ladies.  It
is
lovely there.  I have not gone up to see it in years.”

“Oh, Graham, it is the most enchanting place.  My first and only thought was to bring you there.  I want to go there with you and lie down in the grass inside that circle of stones and seek out shapes in the clouds.”

“You love the rocks and ruins, don’t you?”

“I suppose I do.  There is something so peaceful and soothing about them.  What I wouldn’t give to have such a place at Gavandon for solitude and quiet reflection as The Nine Ladies.  Is there such a thing at Gavandon?”

“No, I am afraid there is not.  But there are similar stones at Donadea and other ancient edifices on that estate.  Such stones are scattered far and wide in Ireland.  It makes one wonder as to the people who envisioned such constructions in the first place.”

“Graham, will you go with me tomorrow to The Nine Ladies?”