The Nanny's Little Matchmakers (Love Inspired Historical) (22 page)

Chapter Nineteen

B
etrayal
was not strong enough of a word to describe Mitch’s feelings as he listened to Polly in Frank’s study, outlining her plan to go to Denver.

“You promised the children you’d stay as long as you were needed,” Mitch said, trying to keep his voice steady.

“They appear to be doing fine,” Polly said, turning toward Laura. “Laura has agreed to help with them.”

Laura nodded. “I’ve always wanted children. And, given that I won’t have children of my own, I rather like the idea of being able to care for yours. I’m sure we’ll get along.”

Mitch snorted. “Until they set you on fire.”

“What is wrong with you?” Polly glared at him. “They’ve grown. Changed. I’m sure they would never do such a thing.”

Then she added with a small smile, “Again.”

“Fine,” Mitch said. “Have a nice life.”

He started to turn to leave before his anger got the best of him. Before the pain of Polly tearing herself from him engulfed him in a fire that burned hotter than anything his children had ever set.

“Please, Mitch, don’t leave angry. I want us to be...”

He waved a hand at her. “Don’t. We’ve discussed this. I knew your involvement in our lives was temporary. I just didn’t think you were going to leave so soon. I’m sure it’s better this way anyway.”

Yes. That’s what he needed to tell himself. Had been telling himself. Better for her to leave now, when he was just beginning to fall in love with her, than later, when he’d given her his entire heart.

Mitch shook his head. Who was he trying to fool? Despite all of his efforts, he’d already done that.

“I need to check on the children.” He didn’t give her a backward glance as he turned to go.

When he opened the door, five faces stared back at him. Then they rushed past him.

“Don’t go, Polly,” they wailed.

“We’ll be good, we promise,” Rory said.

“Papa already punished us. We’ll never try to get you two married again. Just don’t leave us.” Big, fat tears rolled down Clara’s face.

“Please, Polly, we still need you.”

Louisa’s tearful admission had probably cost his daughter far more than anyone realized. How long had she argued that they didn’t need a nanny?

But Polly hadn’t just won his heart. She’d won the hearts of five children determined to never give theirs up either.

It’s not fair, Lord
, he prayed.
Why did You do this to us? To them?

“I’m sorry, children,” Polly said softly, her eyes puffy and red. Why she cried, he had no idea, since it was her decision to leave.

“But there’s a class that starts next week, it’s a special class, and it will allow me to...” Tears streamed down her face. “I may never get a chance like this again. But it’ll be like I promised. I’ll write, and we can visit sometimes.”

Her voice cracked as she said, “And the truth is, you don’t need me anymore. You’ve all done so well, and I’ve hardly been doing anything the past few days. Louisa, you’ve proven to me that...”

Sobs kept Polly from saying whatever she’d meant to say, and only the devastation on his children’s faces kept Mitch from feeling sorry for her.

“We won’t write to you.” Louisa glared at her. “You’re a liar, and we never want to see you again.”

His daughter turned and stormed out, taking the rest of the children with her. Mitch wanted to call her back and tell her that she was behaving inappropriately, but he didn’t have the heart to. She was only telling the truth, and he, too, felt like he’d been lied to.

Polly began to sob like her heart was breaking. All it did was remind Mitch that his already had. And somehow, he’d have to go upstairs and find a way to put together five other broken hearts.

He should have known this was a bad idea. Should have known not to bring someone into their lives who had every intention of leaving. He’d just expected Polly to have more integrity and keep her promise to stay until they no longer needed her. The trouble was, Mitch couldn’t imagine that such a time would come.

Which was why, he told himself, it was better for her to leave now. Had she waited any longer, and gotten everyone’s hearts further entangled, he wasn’t sure how he would pick up the pieces. Even now, it seemed to be a Herculean task.

* * *

Everyone in her family thought she was crazy. They didn’t say it, but Polly could tell from the way they looked at her. More than a few times, she saw one of them start to open their mouth to try to talk her out of it, but then her mother would shoot them a glare to remind them of their promise not to meddle in Polly’s life.

On one hand, Polly wished they would meddle and talk her out of this nonsense. But the looks on Mitch’s and the children’s faces told her that she’d already done too much damage. There was no way that they’d take her back, even if she spent every second since the horrible words came out of her mouth regretting her decision.

She trudged up the steps, also regretting her decision to give up her bedroom for Laura. She’d have to sleep in the attic, listening to the children’s gentle breathing and hating herself for the hurt she’d caused in their lives. Polly wouldn’t sleep a wink, but that was the price she’d pay for her actions.

Why did she think declaring herself to Mitch was a good idea? All she had was everyone else’s word that he cared for her. He’d never said he had feelings for her, just that he was attracted to her, and that wasn’t the same thing, now was it?

When she reached the top step, she felt something funny under her feet. But before she could determine what it was, she felt herself falling.

With a thud, Polly landed at the base of the stairs. Pain shot through her leg, surging through her body. Unable to help herself, Polly cried out.

The first person to open his door was Mitch. “Polly! What happened?” He looked down at her and he said carefully, “Don’t move. Frank!”

Uncle Frank opened his bedroom door. “What’s going on here?”

“Polly’s been hurt. We need a doctor.”

She thought she heard Ma’s voice, but she couldn’t be sure as the pain seemed to overwhelm everything else. Darkness tried claiming her, and while she thought she might need to fight it, everything hurt too much to try.

When Polly regained consciousness, she was in her mother’s bed, quilts wrapped around her and her leg propped up.

“Don’t move,” Ma said quietly. “Your leg was badly broken, and while Dr. Owens was able to set the bone, he said you need to lie as still as possible to give it the best chance of healing.”

“What happened?” Polly looked around the room. “Why am I in your room?”

“It seemed easier.” Ma gave her a small smile. “As for what happened, the children rigged a contraption to the attic door, thinking they’d keep you out. Unfortunately, you didn’t see it and tripped over it instead, causing you to fall down the stairs. You landed on your leg, breaking it in several places.”

Polly’s heart sank. “The children—”

“Are upstairs packing. Mitch is horrified at what happened. Now that he’s been exonerated, he wants to get them back home to Denver. We told him it wasn’t necessary, but he feels it’s best to resume their normal lives.”

“Can I see them?”

Ma looked away.

“They need to know I’m not angry.” Polly sighed. “I’m sure they didn’t mean to hurt me.”

“Mitch would prefer that you didn’t.” Ma didn’t sound happy about it, but she hadn’t seemed happy during any of the conversation. But who would be at having their daughter laid up so?

“Could I talk to Mitch?”

Seeing him would hurt more than the throbbing in her leg. But she had to tell them that she was sorry. And that she wasn’t upset with the children. She should have known that they’d act out. And she should have known that they’d take their frustrations out on her.

“He’s waiting outside.”

Ma got up and opened the door. “You can come in now. I’ll be outside, but I need to leave the door open. I’m sure you understand.”

Polly fought the urge to laugh. There was no risk of violating propriety here.

Mitch stepped in, his hair disheveled and dark circles under his eyes. “Polly, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. I deserved it.”

He nodded slowly, like he agreed with her but didn’t think it was right to say so.

“They did it on purpose. They wanted to make sure you learned your lesson.” He closed his eyes, and she watched the pain crease his face. “But they didn’t intend for you to be so badly hurt.”

“I forgive them. You should, too.” Though it took more effort than she thought it should, she smiled. “I know I have no authority over them anymore, but I’m asking you to please not punish them. They don’t deserve it. I do.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I hurt them, so they wanted to hurt me. I understand. My leg will heal.”

“Maybe,” Mitch said. “But I heard your mother and the doctor talking. I know your mother is trying to be positive, but your leg is broken in multiple places. The doctor isn’t sure how it’s going to heal.”

“I hope you weren’t trying to come in to cheer me up,” Polly said, trying to laugh but finding that effort just as difficult as anything else.

“Why?” He looked at her, tears in his eyes.

“Why what?” They’d probably given her something for the pain, but surely that wasn’t enough to make their conversation so fuzzy.

“Why did you do this to us?”

He wasn’t talking about her injury. She’d rather he did, because the prospect of not walking again seemed so much better than ripping her heart open again.

“You know why.”

“No, I don’t.” Mitch’s voice shook. “I haven’t slept at all because every time I close my eyes, I try to understand why you would leave us. Why, after knowing how important it is to me, you would break your promise to us.”

The words that had been in her head since she realized he wasn’t going to show up stood at the tip of her tongue but wouldn’t come out. Instead, they rolled down her cheeks, globs of everything she’d been holding in but couldn’t say.

“You owe me at least that.”

She didn’t really owe him anything, not when this was all his fault anyway. Now, the children, she owed them, and that was why she’d accept this injury as her due.

“I didn’t know what I was promising,” she finally said. “I didn’t know how hard it would be to look at you every day, knowing how desperately I loved you, and knowing that you didn’t return my feelings. For the children, I should have tried, I know that. But I couldn’t.”

The tears fell harder and faster, tears she thought she’d already cried, but apparently, they hadn’t been enough. Would they ever be?

“You could have at least told me.” His expression was unreadable, making the pain even worse.

“I did. I left you a note. You didn’t even meet me.”

Mitch started laughing. “You left me a note?”

“Yes.” She couldn’t believe he’d mock her like that after everything.

He shook his head. “I don’t suppose your mother or the children mentioned that I punished them for leaving a love note for me. They denied it, of course, and that just made me angrier. I’m afraid I was a little harsh on them.”

Polly closed her eyes. It hadn’t occurred to her that Mitch would think it was a prank. The children had been so good about listening...

“Polly, look at me.”

She obeyed his request and saw his eyes shining in a way she hadn’t seen before. “I was angry because I was tired of being taunted with something I could never have. I am in love with you, and I didn’t think you’d be willing to give up your dreams and share your life with me.”

“But you never said anything.”

He shrugged. “Neither did you. I suppose we both had too much pride to risk our hearts being broken.”

“And when I took that risk, and you didn’t respond, I was too ashamed to face you.”

Mitch handed her a handkerchief. “And that’s why you decided to leave?”

Polly nodded, wiping her face. “I was so embarrassed. I finally realized that all of my fears were foolish, and that life with you and the children wasn’t going to be anything but wonderful. But when I admitted it to you, you rejected me.”

“In the future, let’s not rely on notes to communicate.”

“All right.” Polly took a deep breath. “So what happens now?”

Mitch grinned. “I’m told that there’s an awful lot of kissing happening in this house, but we’re not part of that. I think, if you’re feeling up to it, we need to rectify that situation.”

“Oh, I’m up for it.”

Polly reached up and put her arms around him as Mitch bent down and kissed her. Just as their lips met in a most satisfying way, she heard a voice.

“It’s about time!”

They turned their heads, and Clara was standing in the doorway. “Now that you’ve kissed, are you going to stay?”

Polly grinned. “I don’t know. I hear you’re leaving.”

Clara groaned. The rest of the children joined her at the doorway.

“We’re not going anywhere,” Louisa said.

“We like it here.” Rory glared at his father. “You might have been planning on leaving, but we had a plan to stay.”

Then, with a grin, he looked over at Thomas. “You can wash those spots off your face. We don’t need ’em.”

Polly tried to laugh, but it hurt too much. “Are you sure I broke my leg?”

“You might have also broken a rib or two,” Mitch said slowly. “But we were trying to break the news to you gently.”

“Were you trying to kill me?” Polly looked at the grinning children.

Clara shrugged. “That wasn’t part of the plan. But I’d say the rest of it worked perfectly.”

All five children had the nerve to grin. Even Isabella, who probably had nothing to do with the plan, wore an expression of mirth. Mitch just shook his head.

“And you’re sure you think a life with these wild creatures is going to be wonderful?”

Warmth filled Polly’s heart. Or was that another injury they hadn’t told her about? No, she decided, it was everything finally being put back together. And if her heart could heal, so could the rest of her body.

“We’re waiting,” Louisa said, hands on her hips.

“For?” Mitch looked at his daughter. “We already kissed.”