The Nanny's New Family (Caring Canines) (10 page)

“I was checking that the doors were locked and caught sight of you out here. Mind if I join you?”

“This is your house.”

“But this is your downtime.”

“Haven’t you figured out by now that except for church and family, I have no life beyond my job?” Annie smiled. Until she’d come to Ian’s house, that had been true. But when she was with Ian and his family, she didn’t think of herself as an employee. Annie slid her eyes closed for a few seconds and tried to change the direction of her thoughts.

“So that’s why you come back early on Sunday and join us for dinner.”

“Well, that and I don’t have to cook the meal.” And Annie enjoyed the family meetings—each one showed progress toward a good working model.

“I thought you liked to cook.”

“I do, but it’s nice to be pampered every once in a while.”

“I’ll have to remember that.” Ian took the lounge next to her.

Only inches apart. His proximity revved her heartbeat, and she shivered.

“Cold?”

“No, I’m fine.”
As soon as I quit reacting to you being this close to me
. “Tonight is so lovely I decided to spend some time out here.”

“I have a feeling the quiet is what lured you.”

“You’re probably right, after spending today with my large family. I think every niece and nephew was there today. Usually a couple are missing.”

“What are their ages?”

“When everyone is present, their ages are two to fifteen, but in seven months there will be a baby. Amanda told me she’s eight weeks pregnant. Her first, and I’m excited! I’ve had plenty of practice with all the stages children go through, but the baby stage is my favorite.”

“What about having your own? You would be such a good mother.”

Annie tensed, relieved that in the dark Ian couldn’t read her expression. The subject always brought a momentary pang of regret and pain. Because of her forgetfulness that night at the cabin, she’d been denied the one thing she’d always wanted: to be a mother. If she could relive that moment she lit the candle, her life would be totally different today.

“Annie?” Ian clasped her hand.

“I can’t have children. When the beam fell across my midsection, it caused some internal injuries.” The words slipped out before Annie could take them back. Only her family and her doctor knew that information. Why was she telling Ian? It wasn’t his concern, but she found herself sharing more with him than any other outsider.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t...” For a long moment Ian didn’t say anything.

Annie swung her legs over the side of the chaise longue and sat up. “You were making an observation, and I appreciate your thinking I would be a good mother. I accepted the fact I wouldn’t be able to years ago.” But she could still remember that day when the doctor had told her. Something had died inside her then. God had other plans for her life.

Ian leaned forward. “I shouldn’t have asked. It’s none of my business, but I don’t think of us as employer and employee. I’ve enjoyed getting to know you. I consider you a friend. You’re easy to talk to. And I don’t know what I would have done about Jeremy without you. For six months I’ve felt overwhelmed. I don’t now.”

Annie knew her other employers had appreciated her services, but their words had never affected her the way Ian’s did. A glow from deep within spread to encompass her whole body. “I’m glad I could help” was all she could think to say.

“It was a great day when you came to interview for the job.”

Annie rose. “It’s time to call it a night.”

When Ian stood so close she could smell his scent of lime aftershave, her breathing quickened. She wanted to forget her past and focus only on this man, this moment alone with him.

“I’m taking the kids and Rex to school tomorrow morning,” he told her. “I want you to sleep in and enjoy the time off. You deserve it.”

“But I don’t—”

“You’ve hardly taken any time off, so no argument.”

His nearness made her heartbeat accelerate. “But what about breakfast?” The question came out in a breathless rush.

“A bowl of cereal will be fine. Okay?”

Annie nodded, transfixed by his heart-pounding look.

Ian bent his head toward hers, his hands grasping her upper arms. When his lips hovered over hers, she wanted to melt against him.

Chapter Ten

I
an knew he shouldn’t kiss her, but he couldn’t resist. His lips whispered across hers, giving her time to pull away if she wanted. When she didn’t, he slanted his mouth over hers and deepened their connection. When he pulled back slightly and looked at her, he saw a woman who had become so important to him in such a short time. He wanted more. Ian kissed her forehead, eyes, the tip of her nose and then her mouth again. When his hands delved into her thick hair, his fingers touched her scars. He didn’t care about them.

Suddenly she tore from his embrace, backing away. As she encountered the lounge chair, the sound of it scooting across the patio filled the air. In the shadows created by the light from the den, panic lined her face. She frantically combed her hair over her scars.

Annie glanced down at the askew chaise longue for a few seconds before her wide-eyed gaze reconnected with his. “It’s been a long week. Thanks for the morning off. Good night.”

“Annie, I didn’t mean—”

“I know you didn’t mean to kiss me. Why would you?”

As she started to leave, Ian caught her hand. “First, I wanted to kiss you, but I didn’t mean to scare you or make you mad. I’m sorry.”

Annie tugged her hand free then hurried toward the side of the garage. Ian watched her escape. She didn’t realize how beautiful she was. She was using her scars as a barrier between herself and others. He wanted to change that.

Lord, how do I get her to see her beauty?

* * *

Annie didn’t stop running until she was inside her apartment—then she collapsed back against the door. She should never have responded to Ian’s kiss. But when his lips touched hers, that was all she could think about.

He wanted to kiss me.

Why?

Gratitude. That’s all it could be. If Ian could see my scarred body, he would run the other way. That’s why I keep my distance from men.

Annie could leave, find another job, but she wouldn’t do that to the children. She just needed to toughen her resolve to keep her relationship with Ian as employer/employee. No more.

But the lingering feel of his lips against hers mocked that decision. Annie wanted Ian to kiss her again.

* * *

The next morning a bang against her door drew Annie out of her bedroom. “Just a minute.” She tied the sash to her robe as she padded across her apartment to see who had disturbed her morning to sleep in.

She peered out the peephole, but no one was on the landing. Then another bang sounded as though someone was kicking against the wood. She eased the door open to find Joshua, still wearing his pajamas, his forehead furrowed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Daddy is sick.”

“Did he tell you to come get me?”

“No, but I heard him coughing and coughing and coughing. He needs you.”

A vivid memory of the kiss they’d shared the night before flashed into her mind. Annie quickly dismissed that thought and said, “Come in, Joshua. Let me get dressed.”

Joshua shifted from one foot to the other, his gaze zooming in on her neck. “Didja hurt yourself?”

Annie brushed her hair forward as much as possible and threw up the collar on her robe. “Not lately. Be right back.”

Annie hurried away from Joshua before he started asking more questions. She still hadn’t told him or the girls. The time hadn’t been right yet. After throwing on a pair of jeans and a red turtleneck, Annie returned to the living room.

Joshua was gone.

She hastened outside, remembering that time he’d tried to fly off the railing. But the landing was empty. She rushed down the stairs and rounded the corner to find Joshua picking—or rather uprooting—some lilies.

“Joshua, you were supposed to wait for me.”

“You didn’t tell me to.” He grinned and handed her the flowers, roots and all.

Annie thought back to what she’d said and he was right—technically. She knew better than not to spell out what she expected. “Thanks for the flowers, but you should leave them in the ground next time.”

“They’re pretty like you.” He wiped his dirty hands on his pajamas.

Annie was at a loss for words. Was Joshua behind the red tulips, the candy bar and the other little gifts? No, he couldn’t be. Later she would replant them and hope the lilies survived, but for now she needed to see about Ian. “Let’s go.”

When she and the five-year-old entered the kitchen, Ian was pouring a cup of coffee, his face white and haggard-looking. Suddenly he sneezed then starting coughing.

When he turned his red eyes on her, he said, “Annie, you aren’t supposed to be here.”

“And you shouldn’t be out of bed. Joshua told me you were sick, and he’s right.”

“No, he isn’t. This is just allergies. Spring is the worst time for me. That’s what I get for spending time outside at night.” He quirked a half grin. “But I’m glad I did. It was worth it.”

Annie stamped down the rising warmth in her face and concentrated on the situation at hand. “Are you sure that’s all it is—allergies?” She put the lilies next to the sink.

“Positive. I’m a doctor. I should know.”

Turning away, Annie rolled her eyes. “Since I’m here, I’ll at least fix breakfast and help get the children ready for school.”

“Sure. I need to make sure the others are up.” Ian shuffled toward the doorway, leaving his full cup of coffee on the counter.

Annie started to say something but decided not to. Coffee wasn’t the best thing to drink when a person was coming down with something. She wasn’t so sure it was just his allergies. Water was much better.

“Joshua, you should go get dressed. I’ll have breakfast ready in fifteen minutes.”

Ian paused in the doorway as if he’d finally noticed the lilies on the counter. He gestured toward the flowers. “What happened to them?”

“I gave them to Annie.” Joshua zipped past his dad into the hallway.

“Oh.” Ian continued out of the kitchen.

Annie quickly prepared French toast and set the table. When she set the pitcher of orange juice on the table, she stepped back, satisfied with what she’d done in a short time. She punched the intercom to announce breakfast, but a movement in the doorway caught her attention.

Jasmine, with a huge pout on her face, stood barefoot, her blouse ripped, her hair a wild mess.

“What happened?”

“I can’t go to school today. I have nothing to wear, and my hair is awful.”

“I’m sure we can find something for you to wear to school.” Annie started for the hallway.

Jasmine blocked the door. “No, I don’t want to go to school. I haven’t missed much school this year. I don’t need to go today.”

“Are you sick?”

“I have a headache.” Jasmine thought for a few seconds and added, “And a stomachache. I might throw up any second.”

Jade came up behind her sister. “She isn’t sick. One of the popular girls said she was too fat on Friday.”

Jasmine punched her in the arm as Jade passed her. She faked a cough. “I got it from Dad.”

As Joshua entered the kitchen wearing the clothes he’d laid out the night before, Annie spied Jeremy and Rex coming down the hall. “Jeremy, please make sure your younger brother and sister eat, then brush their teeth and get ready to leave.”

Jeremy looked at her for a moment then grinned. “Sure. You two heard Annie. I’m the boss.”

Annie took Jasmine’s hand and led her toward the staircase. “If you have a fever, you can stay home. Otherwise you’re going.”

Jasmine stopped dead in her tracks. “I can’t go. You don’t know what it’s like to have someone say something about how you look to everyone.”

The words hit Annie with a truth she’d been avoiding. She paused on the step and knew this was the time. She sat and patted the place next to her. “Jasmine, I could tell you that what someone says about you only hurts you if you let it. When I was young I did that. I let others control my actions. I still do.” More than she realized.

“But I’m not fat, am I?”

Annie shook her head and shifted to face the young girl. “Absolutely not.”

“I don’t know why she said that. I thought we were friends.”

“I don’t know why, either. Maybe she’s hurting inside, and she thinks by saying something hurtful to someone else it will make her feel better. It won’t in the long run.”

Suddenly Annie felt fifteen again—the day she returned to school after the fire. Nothing had prepared her for that—feeling damaged, freakish. Annie had seen it in some people’s eyes, and it had cut through her.

“Are you okay?”

Annie dragged herself away from the past and focused on the child who needed her help. “When I was in high school, I was in a fire and was burned. Most of the scars I can hide under my clothes—” she lifted her hair on the right side to reveal her partial ear and disfigurement “—but not this. My hair was short then because of the fire, but as soon as I could I began using it to hide the scars. I didn’t want kids to talk about how ugly I was. I let them control my life and what I did.”

Tears swam in Jasmine’s eyes. “You aren’t ugly. You are...you.” She hugged Annie. “You care about us.”

Annie put her arms around the child, savoring the moment. “And that’s how I feel about you. You aren’t fat. And even if you were, you are you. Who am I to judge you? Friends won’t. They care about us, flaws and all.”

As she said those words to Jasmine, their meaning began to sink in. Yes, Annie had scars, but that wasn’t who she was inside. If others couldn’t accept them, that was their problem, not hers.

“What am I supposed to do about Kayla?”

“Nothing. Go to school and act as though what she said didn’t bother you. Words can hurt but only when we give them power to.” Annie cupped the girl’s face. “Then after school, we’ll all go get an ice cream cone. I know how much you love it. So do I. Now, Jasmine, do I still need to take your temperature?”

Jasmine shook her head, swiped her tears away and hopped up. “I’ll get ready.”

“Good. I’ll fix you something to eat on the go.” The sound of coughing drifted to Annie. “I have a feeling I’ll be taking you this morning.”

She walked with Jasmine to the second floor but headed for Ian’s room. She knocked and waited. When he opened the door, he used it for support. He was dressed, but his shirttail hung out of his pants and he was barefoot. Without a word, Annie laid her palm against his forehead and felt heat beneath her fingers.

“You can’t go to work. You’ve got a fever. I don’t think your patients would appreciate you like this.”

“I came to that realization, but I was trying at least to take the kids to school. Then I can come back home and collapse on the bed.”

“I’m taking the children, and you’re getting back in bed. When I return, I’ll check to see if you need anything.”

“But you were supposed to have the morning off.”

“Not today. Maybe some other time after you’re well.” Annie gently nudged Ian back toward his bed. “I’ve got everything under control. Make sure you drink plenty of fluids.”

“I’m a doctor, and I know what to do.”

“This from a man who should have never gotten out of bed in the first place.” Annie left his room, glancing back to make sure he was following her directions. He was, his eyes drifting closed.

* * *

Ian’s head alternated between pounding and pulsating. Even moving it too fast caused the room to spin. And yet here he sat in his SUV waiting for the prescription his family doctor had written for him when all he wanted to do was lie down in a dark room and sleep. At least he wasn’t driving.

Annie took the sack of medication from the cashier then pulled away from the drive-through window. “I have enough time to drop you off then go pick up the children.” She glanced toward him. “Now, aren’t you glad you went with me to see your friend? The antibiotic will take care of your sinus infection.”

Ian removed the medicine bottle from the bag, took out one pill then washed it down with water. “I can’t afford to be sick. I have patients to see.”

“Your office will reschedule the ones today and tomorrow.”

“You’re indispensable.” Annie wasn’t here just for the children but for him, too.

“You would have done what you needed, but it does help to have a backup.”

“Especially since I don’t have any family nearby to depend on.”

“That, I have plenty of.”

“I’m jealous,” Ian grumbled and laid his head back on the cushion. He looked forward to the moment he could retreat to his room, a luxury he hadn’t had in a long time.

“Which brings up Memorial Day. Would you and your family like to attend our big get-together at the lake? I’d love for you all to meet my extended family. There will be plenty of kids for yours to play with.”

“I’d say it sounds great, but right now nothing does. But yes, I think that would be good for the children.”
And me
.

Ian had realized since Zoe died he’d isolated himself from friends and even family who lived in South Carolina. Until Annie, he hadn’t thought he’d retreated from life, but he had. He’d focused on getting through one day at a time and his work. With Aunt Louise taking care of his children, he hadn’t even been that involved with relatives right after his wife died. Ian had been feeling sorry for himself. Zoe had been his college sweetheart, the only girl he had seriously dated. He’d thought he was set for life. Then Zoe had had a stroke followed by another one, and everything had changed.

Then along had come Annie, and life was changing again from the rut his life had become. Ian wanted to find a way to show her his appreciation for going above and beyond in her job, and he’d come up with a way, if he could work out all the details.

He’d had some setbacks, but so had Annie. He wanted her to put her past behind her—as he was trying to do. Both of them had become too focused on what had been, not on what could be.

* * *

Three weeks later, Annie drove to Will Rogers Elementary the last Tuesday before school was out for Super Sports Day. Every class was having a picnic on the playground, then the students would participate in competitions. Jeremy and Ian were going to do a three-legged race while Jade would be putting a potato between her knees and trying to walk from one end of the basketball court to the other. Jasmine and Kayla, paired by their teacher, were going to hold a balloon between their hips and try to make it to the finish line first, while Joshua and Annie would be dancing, then freezing when the music stopped.