The Naughty Sins Of A Saint (18 page)

“Sorry, I’m trying to accept what’s going on with us, and I want it to be true so badly. Just give me some time. I don’t usually believe in hocus pocus stuff like this. It takes some getting used to, and then that shit with the teddy bear – my God.” She picked up her wine glass then paused. “Someone is about to take our photo.” Saint turned to see two people from the local media whip out their cameras. He turned back to Xenia.

“Yeah, this is bound to happen. We’re both in the public eye. I’m a psychotic, multi-racial, sex-crazed, loaded gun who’s supposedly going to start a race riot, and you’re a slice of the beloved Black elite with down-to-earth grit. Sounds like a match made in Heaven to me,” he laughed. He heard the flash of the cameras then slowly turned to face them. He waved. One of the men quickly rushed over.

“Sorry to interrupt your dinner, Dr. Aknaten. We see you’re here with the lovely Ms. Donnellson. Are you two friends? Is this an interview? Can we have some sort of statement?”

Saint took a sip of his mango juice and leaned back in his chair. “Look, I know you’re just trying to do your job, and a picture of me with some crazy headline would make your career that much brighter, but I really need you to respect my privacy right now. I let you and your buddy over there take your photos, but I’m kind of having an important meeting right now, and I don’t want to discuss anything with the media this second,” Saint said. “So take your photos. I’ll even smile for you, but don’t ask me any questions. You didn’t pay me for an interview. I get nothing out of it but aggravation, so leave our table after you’re finished.”

“Wait a minute. Ms. Donnellson is a member of the media, so why does she get a free pass? Is something going on here? You say you’re having an important meeting here with her? What about?” The reporter began to snap shot after shot, the flash blinding Saint so that he put his arm up to cover his eyes. Saint stood up, towering over the diminutive man. His 6’3”, lean, muscular frame looked even larger in his T-shirt and slightly baggy jeans.

“Look, Arnold,” Saint read from the man’s journalist badge, “I’m going to call restaurant management if you don’t go away. I’d prefer to get in a physical altercation with you, you know, let off a little steam, but I have more important things to do with my time than end up spending the night in jail for assault.” Arnold frowned, took one more photo, and walked away.

“What an asshole!” Arnold said to his colleague as he sat back down.

Xenia
turned to her glass of water and burst out laughing. “You and I are so alike in some ways. We might try to kill one another,” she giggled. “We’re hot heads. Lord help us.” She swung her leg back and forth.

Saint looked across the table at her and partially lowered his eyelids as he licked his lips.

“Oh, no, what are you thinking about?” she asked, bracing herself.

“Have you ever had anal sex?” he asked, as he leaned a bit further back in his chair. Xenia looked around the restaurant.

“Why are you asking me this here? I’m not talking about that shit right now,” she hissed.

“So, you have, then,” Saint laughed.

“Once, OK? Just once,” Xenia clarified as she stifled laughter.

“Did you like it?”

“Saint, stop it. We can talk about this later.”

“I may forget later. Just answer me. Did you like it?” he licked his bottom lip seductively.

“No, not particularly.”

“Hmmm, I bet I could change that,” he said as he winked at her.

“I doubt it – not with your donkey dick.”

Saint burst out laughing, showing a perfect set of gleaming white teeth.

“But you’re willing to try it again, right? With me, it’ll be totally different,” he assured. “So, will you try it one day with me? Soon?”

“Yes,” Xenia whispered. “Now shut the hell up about it!” Saint smiled and blew her a kiss.

“So, I’m leaving in the morning,” Saint said as he paid the bill and handed it back to the waiter. “This is our last night together for at least a couple of weeks. Honestly, I don’t think I can wait that long,” Saint said as he reached over and took a piece of bread out of the basket. He ripped a piece off of the loaf and chewed it slowly.

“That’s what I was saying,” Xenia rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what we’re going to do. Neither of us wants to move. Your world is established in New York, and mine here in L.A. – East Coast versus West Coast. We may as well be rival rappers,” she joked. “We say we love each other, but that may not be enough.”

“So, you do love me,” Saint smirked, catching her slip. Xenia grimaced, realizing what had happened. She snatched the napkin off her lap and threw it on the table angrily.

“Love is always enough if you respect it. ‘Love’ is an action word. Loving someone doesn’t pay bills, but if you love someone, you’ll do what you can to make sure they never miss a meal, their lights stay on, and they have a roof over their head. That’s the part that so many people seem to miss.” He dug into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone.

Xenia
rolled her eyes. “That’s my other issue with you and this brief time together. You’re always on the freakin’ phone. You told me this weekend would be just you and me. You said I’d have this time to get to know you better, and we could do whatever I wanted. You’re too busy for a damn relationship! This is ludicrous. I know you’re busy, and hell, so am I, but…”

“Shhh!” Saint waved her off, looking perturbed, causing his thick, dark eyebrows to bunch up. “Hey, T-Rex, can you do me a favor? Where can I get a marriage certificate this time of night?”

“What the hell?” Xenia said as she stood up. Everyone turned around and looked at her. She smiled and waved as embarrassment spread across her face. “Just conducting an interview, everyone.” She sat back down and covered her face with her hand.

“OK, thanks. Meet me back at the hotel in twenty,” Saint said to T-Rex before putting his phone away and standing up. “Let’s go.” Xenia stood up and followed him outside to the waiting car.

“Saint, we aren’t getting married. It’s bad enough that I agreed to a relationship with someone I barely know, but I’m doing it, and now you’ve gone and lost your mind again. Well, you can’t lose something that is already gone, but you get my point!” she snapped. Saint picked her up and put her in the car, slamming the door after he got in behind her.

“Yeah, Mason, take us back to the hotel please. I need to meet T-Rex there.” Saint pulled out his phone again, ignoring Xenia.

“Why isn’t T-Rex with you all the time? What’s the point of having a bodyguard when he’s asleep in a hotel room half the time? He has the easiest job ever,” Xenia gaffed.

“I don’t want him with me all the time, especially when I’m on a date. It’s not his doing, it’s my choice,” Saint said as he dialed another number. He held the phone to his ear as Xenia began a new line of complaints about his constant calling.

“Hey, Raphael, what are you doing?” he asked as he lie down across Xenia’s lap. His jet-black hair contrasted beautifully against her short white skirt. She looked down at him and became silent. The beauty of his flawless skin and masculinity temporarily quieted her as he held onto her knee cap. His long legs stretched across the seat.

“Hey, I’m getting married tonight,” Saint said to Raphael.

“That’s interesting to hear,” Xenia interrupted, “because the person you’re supposedly marrying didn’t agree to it, nor was she asked!” Mason laughed but quickly caught himself.

Saint continued to ignore her. “Right, so remember that place we saw with the really nice rings, ‘Madison’s’ I believe it was called? I want to run by there again, but I want you to go with me. Oh, I don’t know, hold on.” Saint placed the phone away from his ear and looked at Xenia’s hands. “She looks about a size five. I know that you would’ve liked for me to get the rings from your place, but I’m in a hurry. Trust and believe, I’ll get the rest of her stuff from you. Yeah, I’m pretty sure she’s a size five.”

“You could just ask me! I’m sitting right here!” she yelled, pushing her knees up trying to get Saint off her lap. He tried everything in his power to keep from laughing, as he held onto her bucking legs. Mason finally pulled up to the hotel. Saint jumped out with Xenia quickly running behind him.

“Boy, you better stop playing!” she said as she chased him through the vast hotel lobby, almost slipping on the slick floor. “I’ve missed my personal trainer, my massage, my manicure and pedicure, and my interview with Toni Braxton while fucking around with your ass this weekend!”

Saint looked at her, frowned, and pretended to play a small violin before bursting out laughing again. The harder he laughed, the more the skinny vein in his forehead protruded. He held his chest, took a couple of breaths, and exhaled. He grabbed her around her waist as they waited for the elevator doors to open. He looked down at her, his deep voice making her ear tickle as he spoke lowly. “You don’t want to be my wife, Baby?” he asked seductively. Xenia felt her insides melting again as he carried her away onto the elevator in his arms. Xenia held onto him tightly around his neck, burying her face into his chest. He kissed her forehead as they exited the elevator. Raphael was waiting by their hotel door, his hands clasped. He watched as they approached, smiling widely.

“So this is the lovely Ms. Xenia, in the flesh. My wife listens to you every mornin’,” Raphael said as he scanned her from head to toe.

“Xenia, this is my brother, my best friend, Raphael,” Saint introduced.

Xenia
looked over at him, “Thank you, Raphael. I’ll try to remember to give her a shout out. What’s her name?” she asked, as Saint opened his hotel room door, letting all three inside.

“Her name is Latrice – Latrice Jenkins,” Raphael said excitedly. “I know my boy here is a celebrity, but bein’ in the same room with you is amazing.” He tried to push the sound of her lovemaking obscenities out of his mind.

“Awww, thank you,” Xenia responded as Saint placed her delicately down on her feet. Raphael pushed Saint into the bedroom and closed the door as Xenia went into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine.

“Oh, my God, Man! Are you really doin’ this? I have to admit, she’s fine as fuck – no doubt – but damn, Man! I know, I know, I trust you – not tryin’ to second guess – but it’s just happenin’ so fast, Man,” Raphael said as he shifted his weight nervously from foot to foot.

“Yeah, I’m really doing it. T-Rex just sent me a text message. I need to run over and get the marriage license, but she needs to sign it too, so I’m going to take care of that right quick, then we can go pick up the rings. I want to get this done before I leave tomorrow morning. Something is just nagging at me to do it. I always trust my gut. It has never failed me, Raphael.”

Raphael raised his eyebrow, “What do you really know about this girl, Man? I hate to keep doin’ this, but you have a lot at stake. She could get half of your money if she’s a gold-digger. Make her ass sign a pre-nup at least!”

“She has her own money. She’s not exactly destitute, and I know a lot about her. The rest, I can find out along the way. I’m in love, and I trust myself.” The sadness in Saint’s tone was evocative and haunting. His heart swelled when he thought about Xenia, and Raphael could now see it in Saint’s eyes.

“Shit, Man, you’re so gone. I don’t know what y’all were doin’ in here last night and this mornin’. Well, I do know but…” Raphael looked around the room which had now been picked up by housekeeping. “Whatever it was, I’m surprised you both are still alive. Sounded like Clash of the Titans – what the fuck! How do you even have the energy?” Raphael shook his head.

Saint smirked as the two men exited the bedroom and joined Xenia back in the living area.

Saint took Xenia by the hand and stood with her by the hotel door. “Baby, I want to marry you. I know I didn’t ask you the traditional way, and I know this is going really fast. You can have your dream wedding later, I promise, but I want you to know that I’m coming back for you and that I’m serious. I’m so in love with you, Xenia. Will you marry me tonight – please?” Saint squeezed her hands together.

Xenia
’s heart said ‘yes,’ but her mind said ‘Hell no. Dude is a hot mess.’ Her body said “Hell yes!”

“Yes,” she answered, tears welling in her eyes. “I’m a damn fool. I’m as crazy as you are now. Who does this shit? Who marries someone after…”

Saint kissed her hand. “Shhh. You know in your heart it’s right. You know it is.”

“Raphael, let’s take Xenia to get this wedding certificate, and we may as well take her to Madison’s to let her pick out her own ring. No sense making it a surprise,” he said, as the trio left the hotel room. Xenia looked around nervously as her heart flipped.

“I’ve lost my damn mind,” she thought, as she stepped back onto the elevator. “Saint, you’ve put some sort of hex on me. Regardless, I can’t stop myself.” She looked up at his smiling face.

* * *

Today on ‘Inside Edition,’ we have a breaking news story on Dr. Saint Aknaten, the controversial sex therapist, speaker, and author who encourages white men to date Black women. He’s known worldwide for promoting men of non-African ancestry to make Black women their wives. A copy of a marriage certificate was found online showing that Dr. Aknaten did, in fact, marry popular radio personality, Xenia Donnellson, while in Los Angeles two days ago. Their ceremony was small and private, conducted by a judge outside in a rose garden. Donnellson and Aknaten had a rather short but tumultuous love-hate relationship according to radio snippets we received. Neither Dr. Aknaten nor Ms. Donnellson could be reached for comment.