The (New and Improved) Loving Dominant (19 page)

The second reason is even more important. Professional handcuffs have a lock that prevents them from continuing to tighten after they have been applied. This lock is either missing or ineffective in the cheaper models.

The other school holds that in spending a substantial sum of money for the handcuffs will tempt the buyers to use them more often than they would have otherwise. This group, with whom I’m finding myself in more and more agreement, holds that since handcuffs should be limited to psychological or light play scenes where there is no possibility of struggle, cheap handcuffs are preferred so there will be no temptation to use them for inappropriate scenes. Regardless of the quality of the handcuffs, they should never be used for suspension or, even for holding the hands above the head for a substantial period.

There are also some precautions which can reduce the risk of injury. Since nerve injury most often happens when the submissive tries to pull his or her hands out of the cuffs, either intentionally or unintentionally, causing pressure against the base of the thumb. This can be minimized by tying the elbows so the submissive cannot spread them. They need not be tied so they are touching. Indeed, this position can injure some people’s shoulders. Just a few loops of rope should be enough to keep from getting too far apart and putting pressure on the cuffs.

I occasionally take someone for a walk in cuffs, with the handcuffs hidden under a long jacket. Since if she were to fall, she might injure herself, one of the links of the handcuffs is replaced with thread. The feeling of being “handcuffed” is perfect, but if needs to she can get her hands free. I needn’t even tell her of the substitution since the brace-me movement is instinctive should she find herself falling.

Police have begun to use long plastic strips with selflocking tabs as disposable handcuffs or plasticuffs. Because they were developed by electronics companies for bundling cables, these are available through places like Radio Shack. While they should not be used when the submissive may struggle, they are nice props for psychological scenes. Once the tab has been inserted through the lock, the plasticuffs are sealed permanently and must be cut off.

Another bondage item that should not be used in connection with any potential struggle is the hose clamp. These are long strips of metal with a screw-locking mechanism designed to tighten over hoses until they are sealed to a nipple. They come in sizes big enough to hold a pair of legs. However, they have several important drawbacks. They are metal and can do damage if they are overtightened or if the submissive struggles. They take a while to take off because the tab must be slowly unscrewed. Because paramedic scissors may not be able to cut them, if you are going to use these, you should have a pair of bolt cutters handy in case something goes wrong.

Articles of clothing, like scarves and pantyhose, figure commonly in bondage fantasy. However, in the real scene, they should be used with care. Both can clump until they are very narrow and cut deeply into the skin. A silk scarf is soft, but if you pull it tightly between your hands, it forms sharply defined folds. Imagine those folds cutting into your submissive’s wrists, and you can see what I am warning about.

Knots in scarves and panty hose are also notorious for jamming. Eventually, you are going to untie your submissive. It is definitely anti-erotic to break fingernails while struggling unsuccessfully with a balky knot. You are the dominant; you are supposed to be in control. Being bettered by an inanimate hunk of silk is not the image you are trying to project. Even more importantly, it interrupts the flow of the scene and destroys the mood for both of you.

Plastic clothesline rope is a definite no-no. Not only can its wire core cut deeply into the submissive’s flesh, but it has an uncanny ability to jam almost any knot put in it.

Leather laces are definitely another no-no for immobilization. First, they are so narrow it is almost certain to cut into the skin and stop circulation. Second, leather shrinks when it gets wet. Even if you’re not into watersports and don’t plan to dunk your submissive into a bathtub, he or she is going to sweat. Just a bit of sweat is enough to turn a tight, but safe, tie into a tourniquet. Worse, this same contraction will turn a relatively safe knot into a solid mass of dense leather.

Thin cord or line can be used for a decorative binding to produce interesting patterns on the submissive’s body or for controlled compression of body parts, like the breasts or cock, but it should never be used for immobilization. For example, these should never be used for securing the wrists to each other or to a solid object. Keep thin cord for decoration or for secondary tying where a lot of strain will not be brought against the binding.

What
can
be used for bondage.
What to use, then? The best bondage tools are well-made leather restraints. Although they are expensive, and may be daunting to the novice, they are actually the safest way to render a submissive helpless. Their width and the nature of the material make it harder, although not impossible, to do something wrong, like cutting off the blood supply.

Of course, leather binders do cut into the dominant’s creative flexibility. Wrist cuffs go on wrists. They won’t go around waists or upper legs. When using them, at least part of the choreography is already laid out.

Rope is cheaper and inherently more versatile. Sisal or manila rope is rough and stiff. Some submissives like the harsh touch of these materials, and some dominants enjoy manila’s ability to hold knots without jamming. Both, however, have to be handled carefully because they can cause severe rope burns. Polyethylene rope, the yellow stuff that floats, is stiff and hard to handle, as is mountain- climbing rope which consists of a core of nylon lines inside a jacket of woven nylon.

Before the ghost of my father, a Merchant Marine Officer, descends to crack me alongside the head and yell, “You’re talking about
line,
son!” I’ll admit that what seafarers call “rope” is more suitable for fastening the QE2 to a dock than a submissive to a table. However, rope is what most people call it. Sorry, Dad.

Perhaps the best all-around material for bondage is plaited cotton rope. Cotton rope used to be used primarily to hold sash weights in windows and for clothes lines. With the passing of sash weights and the use of non-rotting nylon for clothes line, cotton rope largely disappeared. The modern version has a plastic stiffener inside which renders it inappropriate for use in bondage. However, some pure cotton rope is still available, and those who have been able to obtain it swear by the material and guard their supply with care. A number of these lucky individuals report buying theirs at a magicians’ supply store.

If you are lucky enough to find some without the plastic stiffener, wash it first to get rid of the starch that manufacturers use to make it look pretty in the store. Follow the directions in scrubbing up in the appendixes for washing unless you want to spend the next few hours untangling a Gordian knot.

The best generally available material, in my opinion, is nylon rope. It is smooth and flexible and takes knots well without jamming. I prefer 5/16-inch and 3/8-inch rope for immobilization bindings, while 1/4-inch and the so-called parachute cord are best for decorative bindings. Ropes of a half-inch diameter or larger are relatively difficult to work with, but can be worked into the scene as psychological props.

Nylon rope usually comes in two surfaces, three strand twisted and plaited. Plaited rope slides more evenly over skin while the three strand can leave “interesting” patterns when it is removed and lends itself to splices. Three strand twisted should be cut by wrapping it with electrician’s tape and cutting through the tape. This also provides a nice temporary whipping.

The ends of both kinds should be sealed with a flame so that they will not unravel. When you are melting the ends, keep away from the smoke, it is not healthy to breathe it. Work outdoors or in a well-ventilated room. The melted ends are also very hot. Use a stick or pencil end to tamp them down. Don’t even consider using your finger. If you are cutting a lot of nylon rope, you might consider getting an attachment that goes on a soldering gun and turns it into an electrically heated knife.

For a really kinky look, dye the rope black or red. Cotton rope dyes easily with any commercial dye. However, nylon rope requires something more “enthusiastic.” I use a dye manufactured in Germany called Deka L. A ten-gram package is enough to easily dye fifty feet or so of 5/16 inch nylon rope.

Another interesting bondage medium is mountain climbing webbing. Available in a number of colors, this nylon webbing is fairly thick and comes in widths from one to three inches. Because it is so broad, there is less chance of cutting off circulation, and it can be tied as easily as rope and does not jam. You can cut and seal it in the same way as nylon rope.

The most common mistakes beginners make with rope is, first, to buy too little of it and, second, to cut it into lengths that are too short. The shortest useful length is generally five to six feet. Anything shorter tempts the dominant to tie the submissive incompletely and too tightly.

You should have several lengths available. My kit usually contains five five-foot lengths, five ten-foot lengths and a twenty-footer. If I am planning a webbing (see further along in this chapter), I bring two fifty-foot lengths. Of course, specific plans may call for a different mix, but this combination is good for, say, a visit to Paddles or to a private party.

It is a good idea to code your ropes according to their lengths so you can quickly and easily select the proper one for the job. I use plastic tapes on each end of the rope. As a mnemonic aid, they are coded by the spectrum. Blue (blue has the shortest wavelength of the visible colors) is for the six-foot length, yellow is for tens, green is for twentys and red for the fiftys.

Colored tapes are also useful for establishing ownership at the ends of group scenes. All of my ropes have a black piece of tape at one end in addition to the color code.

Of course, rope isn’t the only material to use for bondage. Fiberglass-reinforced packing tape is impossible to break. I like to run a few turns of gauze bandage over the area before putting the tape in place so that the adhesive does not bond to the submissive’s skin. That isn’t necessary, but if you are going to use the tape against the submissive’s skin, experiment by putting a small piece on his or her skin in an earlier session and checking later for any redness or other signs of an allergic reaction. In later scenes, keep checking because a single exposure may not be enough to trigger a reaction. Also, pulling fine hairs out as the tape is being removed may not be what your submissive would call positive pain.

I’ve seen photographs of submissives bound in 12- or 14-gauge heavy-duty electrical extension cords. It looked attractive, and the thick plastic coating would provide more than adequate protection against cutting into the skin.

Velcro provides impressive opportunities for creative bondage. One couple I know has glued strips of hook and loop Velcro together to make a versatile tool. To tie it, all she does is give the strip a half turn and presses it against the opposite side. I’ve seen Velcro replacement wrist-watch bands that look like they would be quite effective as cuffs if they were attached to wide pads so they wouldn’t cut into the skin.

Hook Velcro will also stick to nylon rope although the bonding is not as strong as against the proper loop material. Velcro does have the tremendous advantage in that the dominant can free the submissive quickly and easily from most bonds using this material. SportSheets, mentioned in the toybox chapter, use Velcro in an interesting fashion to turn any bed into a bondage device.

As you have read, I’m a fan of nylon rope. However, to be fair, there are a large number of bondage enthusiasts who prefer natural fiber rope. Because I’m not an expert in this area, I asked Tatu, a nationally recognized Japanese or Asian styled bondage expert to write the following section. You can read more of his work on his website (
www.Ds-Arts.com
) or write him at [email protected].

Natural Fiber Rope for Bondage By Tatu

Terminology.
There is confusion in terminology in the retail marketplace concerning natural or vegetable fibers. The word “hemp” in the retail bondage marketplace erroneously refers to rope made from cannabis sativa as “hemp.” However, the word “hemp” in the industrial marketplace refers to any natural fiber rope that is made from the bast fiber of a plant, which would include jute, sisal and manila.

Bast fiber is material from the skin, or bast, surrounding the stem of a plant. These fibers are selected because they have a much higher tensile strength than other portions of the plant. Tensile strength is the breaking point of any fiber or rope. They are used in the industrial marketplace to make rope, as well as paper, burlap and yarn.

So the term hemp can be applied to any natural fiber rope, and it is used in that way by those who make natural fiber ropes.

Sisal is a hard, vegetable fiber used in gardening, shipping, petroleum, mining, fishing, lumbering, architecture, and communications industries. There is also a large market for sisal in the pet industry in making scratching posts as well as in the arts & crafts market. It is what you buy at the U-Haul store for moving purposes, and it is not well suited for bondage.

Manila is a hard, vegetable fiber used a lot in the public utilities, as it will not burn easily when in contact with electricity.

Both sisal and manila are both very scratchy and can cause some nasty abrasions for bondage, which actually might be a plus for some. These ropes can also contain some very nasty chemicals that can cause other problems when in contact with roughed up skin. Be sure and read the packaging, before you use in contact with human skin. In general, sisal and manila are not the best choices for bondage and probably should be avoided.

Jute is a soft, natural fiber rope in the hemp family, and, contrary to popular belief in the west, it is the rope of choice by traditional rope artists known as “Kinbakushi” or “Nawashi” in Japan. It is however harder to find in the west on the retail market. If you can get it, it is a lovely rope to use. Jute is mainly used commercially for wrapping bales of cotton, sacks, and a course cloth. In North America we generally refer to it as burlap. Its strength is similar to hemp.