The New Ever After (The New Ever After Series) (15 page)

Peter was so mad at himself for losing his way and getting into this predicament
. The winds had picked up, and he had been careless. He had always considered himself a smart sailor and suddenly he had made some mistakes. He lost sight of the coast quickly and was trying to use his GPS system as best he could, but for some reason the GPS was flashing. Peter pounded it to see if he could get it to stop flashing, but then it went black. It looked like it had lost all its power. And it was starting to get dark. His battery died on his phone since he was gone longer than he anticipated. He hadn't paid attention to the amount of charge and now he couldn't text Heather again to let her know he would be even later than expected. Although this far out, he may not have had reception anyway. He knew she would think he was still mad. He started to frantically think of ways to get in contact with her but knew there weren't any that would work. He couldn’t activate his emergency system because technically it wasn’t an emergency. He was just out to sea farther than he had expected.

All this fucking technology and nothing's working
, he thought.

He m
ade a couple of quick changes to the sails to try and head back to where he thought he had come from. He had passed out into the ocean and passed by all of the little islands in Casco Bay. He guessed he must have moved south. To the north and northeast, he was sure to hit land. So he adjusted his sails and an even stronger gust came. The wind grabbed the sail and pulled it down to sea level. The boat was perpendicular to the water. With some quick forethought, he grabbed a life jacket that he should have been wearing and threw it on. The sail bobbed on top of the water and Peter had seconds to make a plan. He pulled himself out of the knockdown and was upright for a minute. He tried to move the sail down so it wouldn’t happen again but he didn’t have enough time before the boat went down again. This time the sail and mast took on water and Peter knew there was no way to right the boat. He considered climbing into the small cabin but was afraid it would fill with water and he might get stuck there. He decided to stay put and hold on to the wheel for as long as he could. If the boat flipped completely, he could go on top and hold onto the rudder.

Shit
. Now I'm not going anywhere. I'm fucking stuck in the God damn middle of the ocean.

He had practiced righting
his little Sunfish in a knockdown when he was in his twenties but he missed his chance at righting Blue the second time. Part of his brain, the invincible part, felt like he should swim towards shore. The sensible part knew that swimming that far, even with a life jacket, was not possible. The water was too cold and it was too far. The always in control part of Peter was pissed at himself. He prided himself on never letting anything get out of control and the one time it did it was his life that would hang in the balance.

Fuck! Why didn't I pay attention earlier? Why did I force the limits and head out so far?

Peter had never taken the time to stow away the emergency box that the marina had updated for him.
It was now submerged in the Atlantic. And of course, since he always felt invincible, he had a manual activation EPIRB, the device that would help anyone locate him. If he had purchased the automatic one, it would have activated as soon as it hit the water. But he had never had the need. He had a single man's mentality. It fell right into the water with his phone, sinking to the bottom. He had no choice but to stay put and had no way to alert anyone. Moving right now was too dangerous.

I can't die
. I can't leave Heather alone. Alone with five kids. A widow again. I'm responsible for that family, for those kids. She'll worry when she doesn't hear from me. She'll call someone, my dad hopefully. He'll call Bill. They'll come looking for me soon. And one of the last things I had to say to her was I felt like I was competing with a ghost. I'm going to leave those as my last words? I can't let that be my testament to her. I can't let a simple text message that said ok be our last exchange.
He couldn't calm his mind. He couldn't do anything except sit and hope his situation didn't get worse.

The moon was rising
. The full moon that had lit the bathroom the other night when Henry walked in on them having sex in the shower. The rays of moonlight were bouncing off the water. At least Peter could see what was in front of him. He was starting to get cold and hadn't had much to eat. He calculated in his head how long he could last without food or water. He knew they would find him before dehydration took him. It was the cold that worried him now. He was able to keep most of himself dry as he curled up next to the steering wheel.

After a while he felt comfortable enough that the boat wasn't going to move
. He lodged himself into a little corner and held on. He held on and waited. Even though he wasn't sure what he was waiting for. He never waited for anything or anyone. Being out of control was not one of Peter's strong points. He had taken control of his relationship with Heather. He knew she never would have called him had he waited. He forced her to be ready for him. And it worked. Now he was stuck in a fucking boat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean waiting for someone to rescue him or for some miracle to occur in order to take him back to the person he loved more than anything. And the kids, Henry would be frantic. Hayes would be quiet, and he couldn't bear to think of the disappointment in Gracie's eyes. The twins were too young to notice he imagined. And the ocean was wide and lonely...

Heather saw Hank's mom's number pop up on her screen
. She couldn't talk to her right now. She wished more than anything that Lauren was here with her. Or Janie. Or Jenny, especially Jenny. She needed someone. Mary and Tom were amazing, but she wanted some shoulders that could support her right now and the worry was taking its toll on them too. Just as she thought about Lauren, a text appeared.

9:58 Lauren: Any news yet?

9:59 Heather: Nothing

10:00 Lauren: Love you.

10:01 Heather: :)

10:05 Lauren: He's coming back. I did your cards. It just might be bit.

10:06 Heather: Thanks. I'm lost
. I can't do this again.

10:07 Lauren: You're not going to have to. You just need to get through this time. Where are your beads?

10:08 Heather: Upstairs

10:08 Lauren: Get them
. Rub them like you used to after Hank.

After Hank had died, Lauren had given Heather a set of mala beads. They were almost like a rosary. The repetitive nature of rubbing the stones calmed Heather. Lauren and Jenny’s new agedness always freaked her out. She took little comfort in the fact that the cards said Peter was coming back. It didn't say how he was coming back. And could a deck of Tarot Cards really predict the future? Lauren wouldn't have told her if they had hinted at anything bad happening. Heather decided she would get the mala beads though. She had never walked upstairs to turn the lights on anyway.

Hayes was still awake sitting on the couch when Heather walked in.

"Hey, bud."

"Hey, Mom." Heather could see his cheeks were stained with tears. Seeing the tears pulled at her heartstrings. She sat down next to him on the couch and put her head on his shoulder
. He didn't move. The physical contact probably scared him.

"It's going to be ok, right Mom?"

"I hope so. I don't want to lose him."

"Me either
. God wouldn't take away two fathers from the same kids would he?"

"Not the God I believe in, buddy." She couldn't keep the tears back anymore. "I'm going to walk upstairs and turn all the lights on so Peter can see our house."

"K."

Heather walked upstairs and turned on the lights
. She found her mala beads and put them on. She went to the dresser and took out one of Peter's sweaters taking off her own and replacing it with his. At least it made her feel like he was wrapped around her somehow. She sat down on the bed. The tears were sobs now. Tom could hear her from downstairs and walked up to sit with her when he realized they weren't going to stop. He put his arm around her and rubbed her shoulder.

"It's going to be ok, honey
. Lots of things can happen on boats, and it doesn't mean he's gone."

"When I lost Hank
, he was gone instantly. I got the phone call telling me he was dead. I didn't have to wait to see if was dead or alive. He was gone forever in an instant. My reality changed. Now I'm willing Peter to be alive with all of my might. And I don't know if it matters."

"It matters
. He can feel it. He wants to come back to you. I am sure he is aching knowing what this is doing to you."

Mary walked up the stairs.

"Sgt. Sanders is here to give us an update. Do you feel up to it?"

"Yes," said Heather.

Heather put herself back on autopilot and walked downstairs and stood in the family room. There was a chill in the air coming from the ocean. Hayes asked if he could stay, and Heather thought it would be fine.

"Good evening. Not much news
. The Coast Guard has boats out and a helicopter searching with lights. We still haven't received any distress calls. But that might mean that he can't get to his emergency device. That happens all the time. The guys at the harbor told us he had a manual EPIRB that he would have to activate in order to send a signal. If he can't get to it right now, he can't set it off. The bad news is the media is here. We've stationed a car at the driveway but also decided to post someone on the beach. Everyone wants a piece of this story. It's on the news already. We'll keep them away from you. The good part of that is the news stations have some copters up there. Maybe they'll see him. Maybe if the story is out there someone will see him as they're boating."

"Thanks, Sgt. We know you’
re doing everything you can," said Tom.

Heather sat down next to Hayes and held onto her beads. "It's cold out there," said Hayes.

"It is, but it's not freezing. He's tough. He'll keep himself dry if he can."

Jenny got in bed. She was exhausted. Even though it had felt like Matt had been an absentee dad lately, it was hard doing everything around the house on her own now that she had kicked him out. She realized now that he had actually helped her out, even if it had felt like just a little bit. But she had no intention of letting him know she was finding the separation difficult at all.

She turned on NBC12 and watched the 11 o’clock news.
She sat up straight. She couldn't believe what her ears were hearing.

Author, Peter Adamson, went missing today off the coast of Maine. He left on his sailboat this morning and has not returned or been spotted. There was no call of distress or alert on any emergency systems. The Coast Guard has been called in, and they are on a Search and Rescue mission. Adamson was vacationing in Maine with his wife and their children; twins of theirs and three others from her previous marriage. Mrs. Adamson, an author herself, was widowed three years ago when her first husband died of a heart attack. David Hallsley, owner of The Fountain Cafe in Portland, said Mrs. Meadows came into his cafe and had lunch with all five of her children today. "One of the little ones spilled ice cream all over. She went to pay and didn't have her wallet. She was really flustered. Can't imagine what this is doing to her. She must be an even bigger mess now."

Jenny turned the TV off.

Oh my gosh! How can anyone lose two husbands in one lifetime?
thought Jenny. She knew Heather would need her now. But to be honest, she wasn’t ready for anymore Heather drama. They hadn't talked for over a week and Jenny was still furious with her. She could not get beyond the fact that Heather, her best friend, knew her husband was having an affair and didn’t tell her. And the fact that Heather knew while she was on a romantic getaway with her all-too-perfect husband threw salt on the wound. There was no amount of meditation that could erase the anger Jenny had about the situation. But she still loved all of them no matter how much Heather had hurt her. She still didn’t want to see anything happen to Peter.

She decided to text Janie to see how she was doing. Peter was her brother after all.

11:17 Jenny:
I just watched the news. I’m so sorry. Are you ok?

11:18 Janie: Just waiting for some news
. I think it will be morning before we hear anything.

11:19 Jenny: I’m thinking about you
. Let me know if I can help.

11:20 Janie: Have you talked to Heather?

11:21 Jenny: No.

11:22 Janie: I’m sure she could use a friend.

11:23 Jenny: Not sure if I’m ready yet.

11:24 Janie: I know you’re upset and I get that she messed up but think about what she’s going through
. Her husband’s lost at sea.

Ugh,
thought Jenny.
She’s right. Her husband might be dead. I’ll regret if for the rest of my life if I’m not there for her.

For the moment, she decided to get on the comp
uter. She clicked over to Heather's Facebook Wall to see if anyone had written anything or if she could get any new information. She knew Heather wouldn't be on it right now though. She had blocked Heather from seeing all of her stuff, but she could still see what Heather was writing.

Elizabeth: Heather Meadows Adamson, I can't believe this. What kind of luck do you have? I'm sending The Fountain Cafe money to cover your bill.

Elizabeth and Heather were friends from grade school. They still kept in touch but had lost the closeness they had when they were ten years old. Heather had told Jenny stories of the two of them riding big wheels together or roller skating through their old neighborhood every day after school. Elizabeth had been a friend of Hank's too, and Heather and Elizabeth's relationship became even more distant when he died. It was nice of her to send money to the cafe, if she really did it.

Jenny knew she had to do something – something to help Heather.