The Next Move (28 page)

Authors: Lauren Gallagher

BOOK: The Next Move

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"Chris, I don’t understand."

Rubbing the back of his neck, he cleared his throat and avoided her eyes again. "Look, there is someone. And I’m in love with her. But…"

Kat turned away, covering her mouth with her hand. His footsteps reverberated through her consciousness as he

came closer, but his hands on her shoulders still startled her.

"Please, listen to me," he said. "I left the other night because I couldn’t get the way I felt about her off my mind.

"Then I’m glad to know meaningless sex with me helped you figure out that you’re in love with her."

"No, that’s not true. Kat, look at me."

"Chris, just say what you need to say and go," she said. "This was supposed to be easy, but it’s not." She sniffed, closing her eyes as another tear rolled down her cheek. "And you’re not making it any easier by—"

"I love you, Kat."

Her heart jumped into her throat. She turned around, staring at him in disbelief and yes, this time there was no mistaking it, there
were
tears in his eyes. "What?"

He blinked, dropped his gaze for a moment, then met her eyes. "I left the other night because I couldn’t pretend that I was having meaningless sex with you." His voice faded to almost a whisper as he looked down. "I couldn’t pretend that it was ever meaningless."

"Chris…"

His voice was unsteady, but the words came quickly now. "I didn’t want to hurt you, but I couldn’t keep doing this. I couldn’t keep pretending that this was casual and meaningless. I know we didn’t want to risk our friendship by letting this turn into something more, and I thought I could do this without feeling something more for you, but…" He shook his head. "I think the friendship we were trying to protect was the very reason I fell in love with you."

Her knees shook and it was all she could do not to reach for him for support. "Chris, I…" She trailed off, completely at a loss for words.

"I didn't have to put on an act with you, Kat." He shifted his weight. His hands closed into loose fists at his sides, then opened, then closed again, as if he just needed something to occupy his hands. As if he needed to do something to keep himself from touching her. "I didn’t need to try to impress you. There were no pretenses about trying to get into bed, because you'd already gotten me into bed. There was no pretending I was someone else, because you already knew who I was. You know me like no other woman has, you put up with me even when I’m at my worst, and…"

He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "And I was afraid all this time that if I told you that, if I said ‘checkmate’, that I’d…" His voice cracked. "That I’d lose my best friend
and
the woman I love."

He was silent for a moment, but she had a feeling he wasn’t finished, so she waited. Sure enough, after a long, quiet moment, he took a breath and went on. "So there it is. I can’t keep using you, Kat, but I can’t change what I feel. And if the only way I can have you in my life is as my friend, then I’m happy with that. The one thing I don’t want is to lose you."

Staring at him, Kat couldn’t breathe.

His eyebrows lifted, his eyes pleading with her to say something.
Anything
. There was so much she wanted to say just then, but disbelief rendered her mute.

Finally, she did the only thing she could think to do. Watching her own hand, she reached across the narrow canyon between them. The first warm contact of her fingertips on his skin made her vision blur with tears, but she blinked them back as she laced her fingers between his.

His other hand rose and the pad of his thumb gently swept across her cheek, brushing a tear away before his hand came to rest against the side of her face. "Kat, all along, I didn't want to risk our friendship with a relationship. I was afraid I'd lose you as a friend. But being in love with you is the one thing that makes me willing to take that risk."

Her shoulders dropped and she let out a breath. His confession destroyed all of her fears that he’d turn her away if she told him how she felt, and everything she’d been dying to say came rushing to the surface. Swallowing her tears, she looked up at him, opening her mouth to speak.

But when their eyes met, when she realized just how close her face was to his, she couldn’t remember how.

Are you going to kiss me
?

As she raised her chin and he tilted his head, the air between them was ablaze with the same electricity of a first kiss. It was the kind of intensity that never comes twice between two people, yet there it was.

When will you kiss me
?

He drew her closer, his breath warming her skin.

"Chris," she whispered, her lips almost touching his.

"Yeah?"

"Checkmate."