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Authors: Tajuana Butler

The Night Before Thirty (23 page)

BOOK: The Night Before Thirty
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By five-thirty, everyone began to gather at the entrance. The first person there was Alecia, who had met up with Louisa and Jessica earlier. The two radio show employees had been allotted only five hundred dollars each and had finished fairly quickly. Everyone else fell in one by one. Elise and Lashawnda competed for being loaded down with the most bags. Catara had a handful, Tanya had three, and Alecia had one small bag.

“I can't believe you all made it back with time to spare. Did everybody have a good time?” Louisa asked.

“The best,” Elise said.

“Thank you so much, Louisa,” Lashawnda said. “You've made my year.”

“Girl, don't thank me, thank the station. This was a treat for me as well. I got three pairs of shoes and Jessica got a party outfit. What else?” Louisa asked.

“I got shoes, perfume, a nice pair of shades, and a cute little purse,” Jessica said enthusiastically.

“Is that all you got?” Lashawnda asked Alecia, who was carrying one bag.

“Yes,” she replied.

“You spent all your money on one item?” Elise asked, surprised.

“Yeah, I got a watch.”

“You got a thousand-dollar watch?” Lashawnda asked.

“Well, actually I put a few dollars with it to get it,” Alecia responded dryly.

“I couldn't have gone out like that,” Lashawnda said. “I got a little bit of everything.” She pointed to her bags on the ground beside her.

“So did I—and I caught some great sales,” Elise bragged. “What about you, Catara. What did you get?”

“Oh, glasses, a purse, a few pairs of shoes, and some bath products. Things like that,” she replied nonchalantly. She was not surprised, but still a bit frustrated, that she couldn't find any clothes in her size that were stylish enough.

“And what did you get, Tanya?” Elise asked.

“I got some clothes,” Tanya answered and abruptly looked away.

Jessica looked down at Tanya's bags and said, “Did you know that the store you got your clothes from is a maternity store?”

“Yes,” an annoyed Tanya answered.

“Oh, excuse me,” Jessica said, embarrassed that she had put her foot in her mouth.

Everybody in the group pretended to be looking out for Stan, except for Lashawnda, who just couldn't bite her tongue, especially in a tense situation.

“So how far along are you?” she asked.

“I just found out. I took a home pregnancy test a few days ago. I was in denial, but when I walked by the store, I couldn't help but go in.”

“So you're excited about it?” Lashawnda asked.

“I don't know how I feel about it,” Tanya replied.

“Here's Stan,” Catara announced.

The ladies gathered their things and walked toward the limousine. They put whatever bags could fit into the truck with their luggage. The rest they put inside with them.

“I'm bushed,” Alecia said as she slid into her seat.

“I'm sure everybody else is beat, because I'm tired myself,” Louisa said. “We're now headed to the spa. It's less than two miles from the hotel. They're going to stay open late just for us. We'll rotate between two estheticians, two masseuses, two hair stylists, and two nail technicians. You will also be able to get a body scrub as well.”

“What about dinner?” Elise asked.

“We'll eat in the hotel restaurant afterward, but they'll have hors d'oeuvres at the spa for us to munch on. So, everybody, sit back and relax until we get to the spa. It's about a fifteen-minute ride,” Louisa announced.

The ladies sat back and attempted to relax, with the exception of Lashawnda. She couldn't get Tanya's reaction about her newly discovered pregnancy out of her mind. She had so many questions and knew she wouldn't be able to relax until she asked them. She looked over at Tanya, who was sitting back with her eyes closed, just like everyone else—except Jessica, who was looking out the window at the sights.

Lashawnda kept staring until Tanya opened her eyes.

“I hope you don't mind, but I was wondering if you've told your new baby's daddy?” she asked.

Eyes popped open around the car.

Initially Tanya was offended, but, she figured, why not talk? Elise
had. After all, after the weekend she would never see these women again.

“No, I haven't.” She sighed.

“Are y'all in a committed relationship? Was it a one-night stand?” Lashawnda pushed.

“Well, if you have to know, he's been my boyfriend since my senior year in high school. I think we just broke up,” Tanya said and moved uncomfortably in her seat. “That's why I haven't told him.” Tanya could feel tears welling up, so she laid her head back and closed her eyes again.

“Man,” Lashawnda said. Her heart went out to Tanya. “So how do you feel about it?”

She couldn't hold back her feelings, “Didn't you ask me that question already?” she snapped.

“I apologize, Tanya. It's just that—”

Before Lashawnda could finish, Tanya interrupted, “How do I feel? I feel like shit! The man I've been with all my adult life chose money over me. Now I'm going to have to make it all alone, with a new baby, and I was hoping to move to Atlanta by the end of the year. Now I might be stuck in Chicago, raising a kid. It's not that I don't love Chicago, because I do—it's my home—but he and I talked about a fresh start in Atlanta, and I'm longing for that. It seems like I keep falling deeper into this situation and I don't see a way out.”

Tanya began to bawl uncontrollably. She'd been trying to hold it together, but talking forced the sting of reality on her.

“I'm so sorry, Tanya. I didn't mean to…” Lashawnda said.

“It's okay. Does somebody have a tissue?” Tanya asked, wiping away her tears with her fingers.

Louisa knocked on the window to the front seat, “Stan, are there any tissues back here?”

He opened the window, “Here you go,” he said and handed her a box.

Louisa held the tissues out for Tanya. She grabbed a few and began to wipe her face.

Tanya blew her nose. “I'm a thirty-year-old woman, and I am scared.”

“Tanya, it's okay to be scared,” Louisa said, attempting to assure her.

#x201C;I know, but I'm petrified because when I go back to Chicago on
Sunday I have not just one, but numerous decisions to make.” She balled the tissue in her fist. “Chris, that's my boyfriend, has always been there for me. It's too complicated, it's too much. And on top of that I want to stay, but I can't.” Tanya inhaled awkwardly then continued. “It's just like you were saying, Elise, sometimes you have to make decisions that empower you. But I'm scared. I can't believe that I'm admitting it, but I am.”

Catara, who was sitting by Tanya, said, “The thing about facing huge problems or obstacles is that they're never as big as they seem. Plus, you're stronger than you think.”

Tanya eyed Catara, “Believe me, I haven't begun to scrape the surface. My problems are large and complicated. But you wouldn't be able to understand the place I grew up in or the people I grew up around,” Tanya replied.

“Maybe not, but a problem is a problem, no matter where you're from. Living with being overweight for several years has been only one of my many problems,” Catara said. “But the problem is not what's important; really, it's how you overcome it that counts.”

Y FAMILY IS
close-knit, protective. I have always loved fashion design, but my parents wanted me to get a practical degree that would ensure employment for me after graduation. So instead of going away to fashion-design school, I went to Indiana University and got my degree in marketing.

I graduated and had no problem getting a job in Indianapolis. Initially, I was cool with my job. I got my own apartment. Got a brand-new car. I was feeling good about life. But the longer I stayed, the more I longed to go to fashion-design school. The more I got involved with the duties of my position and climbing the corporate ladder, the more I imagined myself with a sketchbook in my hands.

Instead of following my dreams, I started chasing a corner office with a view, a title, respect. It got so bad that I even started coming up with schemes to be noticed around the office, like making sure I arrived earlier and left later than my boss, even when it wasn't necessary.

I didn't even like my job or who I'd become. I had closed myself off from anything that was creative. I purchased the book
Think and Grow Rich,
and that was the only reading that I did. I had dehumanized myself. Nothing mattered except success.

To make a long story short, I had pushed myself so hard and closed
myself off to any outlets or releases. I had a mental breakdown. Depression had been creeping up on me, but after I was passed up for that second promotion, I became overwhelmed. I couldn't eat. I couldn't get out of bed.

In my worst state, I missed two weeks of work, causing me to lose my job. I lost my apartment. I lost my car, and I had to move back in with my parents. On top of that, I put on twenty extra pounds. It was a nightmare.

I lived with my parents for three months. I had no direction. I felt like I had no purpose. I had failed. My life was bleak. All those clichés applied to me. I didn't see any hope because I knew that I didn't want to go back to my old lifestyle, but I didn't want to disappoint my family and go off to fashion-design school.

Eventually, I began temping at different companies just so I had a reason to leave the house, but I was emotionally empty. I was scared that if I went to fashion school, my parents wouldn't support me, or that I would fail. I felt like I was starting over, and that was frightening.

This continued on until one day, when I was grocery shopping with my mom. When we left the store, the sky was gray and a huge, thick dark cloud loomed above. As we were driving home, Mom said, “Looks like it's going to storm.”

“Yeah, it's gonna be a bad one too, judging from that cloud,” I agreed.

When we got into our neighborhood, two boys were walking down the street. I joked and said, “Y'all better take cover because a wreck of a storm is on its way.”

The cloud was eerie and intimidating; Mom and I watched it until we pulled up into our driveway. We got the groceries from out of the trunk and walked up to the back door.

On the railing of the patio, close to the door, were two birds. When humans get too close, what do they usually do? Fly away. Well, one of the birds took off as soon as we got close, but the other stayed in place; he didn't move at all. It was the oddest thing we'd ever experienced, so odd that my mother and I walked off the patio and around to the front of the house and went in through the front door.

When we got into the kitchen, I couldn't help but look out the window to see if the bird was still there. I tapped on the window to try to scare it away. The bird didn't budge.

“Catara, leave the bird alone,” my mom said. “Its wing is probably broken.”

I helped her put away the groceries, but my curiosity got the better of me, so I went back to the window and closely observed the bird. It was looking up at the sky.

“OKAY, ISN'T THIS
supposed to be a true story?” Alecia complained.

“Here's my hand to God,” Catara said and raised her hand above her head, waving it.

THE BIRD WAS
looking up at the sky in the direction of the massive cloud, moving from the left toward the house.

In my mind, I'm saying,
Okay, when this storm hits, I know this bird is going to fly away.
So I'm watching this bird, and the bird is standing there watching this cloud move closer and closer to the house. The closer the cloud gets, the darker the sky becomes.

I said to my mom, “You've got to see this. The bird is watching the cloud.”

So my mom comes over and sees for herself.

“Catara, you might be right. I think that bird is watching the cloud,” she says, and then goes back to preparing dinner.

I pitch in and help her, but every so often I go back to the window to check on the bird and the dreadful cloud. I notice that the bird has adjusted his position to follow the slow-moving cloud.

Now check this out. That monster of a cloud is right over the house, and instead of pouring down and causing havoc, it lets out a few sprinkles on the patio. The bird kept moving down the rail to get a look at the cloud as it moved to the right of the house. I know y'all are not going to believe me when I tell you this, but once the cloud had moved several houses to the right, the bird flew away.

BOOK: The Night Before Thirty
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