The Night Parade (12 page)

Her Ladyship lifted her head above a folding screen to call out to the guests. “Yes? How may I be of assistance?”

The door rattled in its frame, and dozens of footsteps soon filled the room. A squad of human-sized grasshoppers dressed in heavy armor waited around the door with their long pointed spears at attention.

“Lady Longneck,” said the husky voice of the most decorated grasshopper. “The lieutenant's wife has requested your presence to attend to a serious matter.”

“Oh, I do detest that name…” Her Ladyship chided. “Why must I go? My condition is hardly fit for travel. I am afraid I'll be of no use at all.”

The grasshopper replied, “You owe the lieutenant's wife many favors. She has supplied you with servants and comfortable living, despite your shortcomings within the court.”

Her Ladyship's head slunk back, and her camellia-red lips formed a thin line. “Here, take my little servant girl in my place. She is very efficient and much more skilled at labor than I.”

Saki's jaw dropped in disbelief. First she had been a simple child, and now she was a servant? For spirits who thought themselves too refined to mingle with the nature spirits outside the walls, neither the lady nor her attendants had any manners.

“Very well,” the grasshopper soldier said. “We shall take her into our custody. Come with us.”

The lady's dog attendants pulled Saki to her feet, then thrust her into the care of the soldiers. In the commotion, the tengu had hopped up and burrowed back under her straw cloak, while Saki's voice of protest retreated after one close-up look at the point of the grasshoppers' spears.

The grasshopper soldiers dragged her down the hallway. They were twice her height, and their long legs took the strides with ease, but Saki had to run just to keep up. Their spears hit their armored shoulder pads as they walked, while the short knives at their belts swayed. Saki tore her eyes away from the weapons and focused on the hallway ahead. At the very least, every step she took was a step closer to the center of the compound.

The decorations in the long hallway slowly filled out, becoming more and more elaborate with each stretch. The carved detail in the wood that ran along the tops of the doors twisted and grew, like vines coming into flower. Smaller corridors branched off the main path, and the way became just as twisted as the labyrinth of roads and gardens outside.

The grasshopper soldiers stopped in front of a series of gold-accented sliding doors. The squad commander pushed back a heavy panel, and each soldier filed in to prostrate himself on the floor inside the room.

Saki, too, was rushed in and pushed into a low bow on the floor. She was already panting from the run, and her head swam as a rush of blood flooded to her face.

A deep voice croaked at them to stand. A frog, wrapped up in baggy lord's robes, squatted on a pedestal in the middle of the room. Seated below him, the frog's slug wife shifted her thick body and left a trail of slime on the tatami mats.

“Sir,” the grasshopper leader announced, “Lady Longneck humbly sends her servant to do your honorable bidding.”

“I don't really think I'm the person you—” Saki began.

“Hush,” the frog said. “Come here and receive instruction from your new mistress. If you can perform your duties to my lady wife's satisfaction, you will be graciously rewarded. I work directly under the New Lord himself.”

Saki shuffled forward and bowed again when she reached the pedestal.

The slug spirit dabbed at her eyes with a fancy handkerchief, but she had to stretch the handkerchief above her head to reach the feelers that held them out from her body. Her skirt fell around the platform, oozing slime across the floor. She cried out with sticky sobs for a few moments before turning her optical feelers on Saki.

“Little girl, I can hardly stand to speak for all the misfortune I have suffered!” Though it seemed, as the slug spirit went on, she had quite a lot to say on the subject of her suffering. “The horrors began months ago, though only now have they become unbearable. Every evening, my ladies and I journey to the bathhouse to cleanse our bodies. On the way, we use the courtyard outhouse to relieve ourselves, but…”

Saki snorted but quickly bit down on the inside of her cheek. What in the world was a slug trying to accomplish by taking a bath? Oblivious, the lieutenant's wife continued.

“I had begun to notice that every day the outhouse was becoming dirtier. When I sent in servants to clean, they would come back with wild stories, telling me there was no way to remove all of the filth, that some manner of wicked spirit was willing it so. However, given the choice between using a dirty outhouse and not using one at all, of course I would try to do my best with what I had.

“The other day, as I was beginning to prepare for the Parade, I stopped by alone to freshen up. I took off my prized shell, so I would not get it dirty, but when I came out, my precious heirloom had disappeared!”

A murmur cascaded through the assembly. The frog lieutenant patted his slug wife on the back as she wept.

“As you can see,” the frog said, “my wife's shell must have gotten lost in all of the filth. Because of the stench, none of my other servants dare go near. You must clean the outhouse until you find the shell or a hint of where it may have gone.”

Saki stood up to protest. If spirits couldn't endure the smell, there was no way a human would be able to hold their stomach. Before she could say a word, the grasshopper guards thrust a bucket full of brushes and cleaning rags into her arms as the rest of the courtiers rose to escort her out to the courtyard outhouse.

The lieutenant blinked his wet eyes. “If you cannot succeed, we will have no choice but to stamp you out.”

Saki wasn't certain what he meant, but a peck from the tengu under her cloak assured her that the outcome was not at all desirable.

The smell hit Saki before she even saw the outhouse. If the ice cream she'd eaten at the Bon dance hadn't been so long ago, she would have gagged it all up again. She carried the bucket of cleaning supplies with one hand and pinched her nose with the other, clamping down until the pain was as bad as the stench. The grasshopper guards would only take her so far before retreating to the shelter of the shrine walls. Saki stood alone in front of the squat little building, wondering whether she would be in more danger if she ran or if she stayed. Light from the braziers along the edge of the courtyard caught the garden flora and cast undulating shadows on the walls of the outhouse as the fetid smell seeped into Saki's pores.

The tengu poked his head out from under her cloak. Although his gigantic nose had been turned into a beak, the smell still seemed to affect him powerfully.

“Your marbles,” he choked. “Get out the marbles.”

Saki dropped the bucket and dug around in her pouch. She took one out, then held it up for the tengu.

“What should I—?”

The tengu thrust his beak into the glass, which became a mask over his face.

“Ooh, I see…” Saki fished out a second marble and did the same.

The odor was still powerfully rank, but the marble masks let them breathe without retching. The glass felt secure enough, but Saki took no chances. She clamped her hand over it and moved to push open the outhouse door.

Not even the moonlight that filtered through the vents could soften the sight of such squalor. Slime slicked the floors and oozed up the walls. The water basins were yellow and cracked, the mirrors fogged and splattered with crusty specks. Grime covered every inch of the walls. The toilet stalls were walled off with crooked doors, but Saki didn't want to imagine what was hiding behind the wood.

A stream of hot saliva dripped onto her shoulder.

Crouched on the ceiling, a ghoulish spirit with a long tongue looked down at her with bugging black eyes. The stench rolled off the spirit in waves, and Saki held her breath through her mask, too disgusted to be scared.

“Have you come to tidy up?” the spirit asked. Its tongue was too long to fit into its mouth, so the words sloshed around its lips.

Saki couldn't hold her breath. She sucked in just enough air to reply, “Are you the one making this place so dirty?”

“Not dirty, filthy!” the spirit exclaimed. “I couldn't have done it without all of that glorious slug slime. I'm so grateful to that precious lady for making this place so deliciously filthy.” The spirit's tongue licked a long trail of slime on the wall. It smacked its lips as if the slime were the most delicious treat in the world.

Saki craned her neck to get a better look at the Filth Licker. “Do you know if the lady ever left anything behind?”

“Of course,” the Filth Licker replied. It scurried off the ceiling and down into a toilet stall. The Filth Licker's tongue pushed open the door, and it stood holding a wide display of trinkets in its bony hands. “I keep everything she leaves. I love clutter almost as much as I love filth.”

The Filth Licker held wadded-up handkerchiefs, used ear picks, and small pieces of jewelry that were covered in a layer of brown tarnish.

“Have you ever seen something that looks like a shell?”

The Filth Licker narrowed its gaze and turned to hide its trinkets. “You'll never have it. It's the best part of my collection. She'll never come back if I give it away.”

“Are you sure? I can trade you something good.” Saki reached for the pouch of marbles but couldn't risk dropping them all over the dirty floor.

“No, that won't do at all. I
need
it. She won't come back, and I need her slime. Don't you understand?”

Saki blinked. “You want her to make the outhouse…dirtier?”

“Filthier!”

“Right.” Saki paused for a moment. If she got the shell back, the frog would let her go. But cleaning the outhouse might mean fighting the Filth Licker, and that was hardly fair. Past its putrid smell, its horrid slime, and its odious habits, it wasn't really hurting anyone. If this outhouse was the only place where it could make its home, what gave her the right to oust it? There were other places that the slug and her ladies could go. Saki looked back to the Filth Licker, her hands on her hips. “Let's make a deal.”

The spirit waited for her to continue with a nervous jerk of its tongue.

“I need to bring back that shell so I can get out of here. What if I helped you make your home dirtier—I mean filthier—right now? We'll make it even worse than slime on the walls. Or better, I guess? What do you say?”

The Filth Licker considered her proposal. It scurried back up the ceiling and gave her a sidelong glance. “What will you do?” it asked. “I want it really, really filthy.”

“First of all…” Saki looked around. Only the enchantment of her geta kept the floor from sticking to her feet. “Mud! It's some of the filthiest stuff around. You can only get what other spirits track in here, but I could bring you a heap of mud. Whole buckets, even.”

The Filth Licker nodded. “Yes, yes. Mud is sticky, like slime. Oh, I would love to have some nice mud. What else?”

“Where there's dirt, there should be bugs,” Saki continued. “You might get lonely in here by yourself, so we'll find all sorts of bugs to keep you company.”

“Yes, yes, yes!” The Filth Licker was slobbering everywhere. Its black eyes gleamed, and the corners of its mouth curled up in a smile. “I want lots of friends. You do all this, and I'll give you the shell.”

“You have to promise,” Saki told the spirit. The spirit world seemed like a place where a promise could come to life. She wouldn't take chances like she had with the fox. Leaving intentions unsaid could only lead to trouble.

“Yes, yes, I promise. Please do what you said. I'll give you any treasure you want.”

The tengu shifted underneath her cloak as they returned to the clearer air of the courtyard. “Good. Appease both the creature and the lord. Now we'll see if you can carry out this plan.”

“Thanks for all your help,” Saki mumbled. “I hope you're better at your usual job than you are at this guide thing…no offense.”

“If you do not wish to give offense, you ought to better curb your tongue.” The tengu dug his claws into the flesh on her shoulder. “And I was a soldier once, in this very compound.”

“Once? What happened?”

The tengu ignored her question and pointed with his beak. “Go fetch your tools. Make quick use of them, and let us return to our journey.”

Saki emptied the bucket of tools and ran it down the well in the corner of the courtyard. When the water came up, she poured half of it back down the well, then filled the other half with handfuls of dirt. The earth stuck underneath her fingernails and wedged into the cracks of her skin.

“Well, it's not like I can get any dirtier.” Saki wrinkled her nose and thrust her hands into the bucket to mix the mud.

The mud was thick and extremely heavy, and Saki's arms were slicked from fingertips to elbows. The moment she started to pull the bucket away from the well, her grip slid off the handle.

“You've got to be kidding me…” Saki wiped her hands on her cloak. When the bucket still wouldn't budge, she began to reach into her pocket for the flat marbles.

The tengu squawked at her and flapped his wings. “If you rely on those to solve every problem, you'll end up solving nothing.”

“But you told me to use them earlier!”

“Discipline is one of a soldier's greatest assets,” said the tengu.

Saki grumbled and put the pouch away.

The water had slopped over the side as she mixed, and the bucket now sat stuck, unable to budge. If she could just think of a way to keep the bottom of the bucket from dragging on the ground…

Saki left the bucket where it stood and went to the edge of the verdant courtyard.

“What are you doing now?” the tengu asked.

“Solving problems.”

She pulled half a dozen long, flat leaves from the ornamental plants in the courtyard garden. Placing four of the leaves on the ground in front of the bucket, Saki wrapped the last two leaves around the handle. She was able to lift the bucket high enough to drop it onto the mat of leaves as a dollop of mud sloshed over the edge. With the leaves underneath, Saki slid the bucket across the courtyard to the entrance of the outhouse.

The bucket overturned, spilling mud all over the floor. Saki grabbed a mop from the cleaning tools and pushed the mud around, into the corners and underneath the stall doors. The Filth Licker cackled and clapped its hands. Saki thanked her ancestors and every spirit she could think of for the marble mask across her face. When the muggy odor of the outhouse became too much, Saki escaped outside for a second bucketful.

Soon the outhouse was coated in another layer of thick mud. A few dead leaves had fallen into the well water and mixed into the mud, sticking out in clumps across the floor. Saki admired the disaster for a moment. But how in the world would she deliver on her second promise?

She paced outside, away from the Filth Licker's stench and lolling tongue.

“Bugs,” she said. “I need to find a bunch of bugs.” Her brother would have been perfect for this job, but he was snoring away at Grandma's house and would be no help to Saki in the spirit world.

“If you had the capabilities of an insect, where would be the best place to fortify your holdings?” the tengu asked.

“A riddle, huh?” Saki turned toward the flower bed in the courtyard. “If I'm a bug, then I usually crawl around on the ground. I'd have to find something to eat, so there would have to be plants nearby, but…I don't like to be seen, so I would have to hide out where nothing could get me.”

“Excellent deduction,” said the tengu. “So where will you look?”

Saki trudged over to a flat rock that was only a frog's hop from a flower bush. “Right under here.”

She flipped over the rock. The soil beneath teemed with dozens of squirming insects. At the first hint of moonlight, each creature began to crawl on whatever legs would carry it back into the quiet darkness. Saki scooped up handfuls of the insect-laden earth and dumped them into her empty bucket. She winced with each touch, trying not to imagine the hundreds of creepy, crawling bugs squirming beneath her fingers.

With one final scoop, the bucket held more than enough friends to appease the Filth Licker. Saki raised a hand to wipe the sweat off her brow but froze as a tiny worm wriggled out from the dirt caked between her fingers. On second thought, a little sweat had never hurt anyone.

Saki deposited the bucket of bugs into one of the outhouse washing basins. The insects made themselves right at home, venturing out to explore the muddy refuse on the walls and floor. The Filth Licker squealed with glee.

“Oh, this is the most wonderfully filthy sight I have seen in ages!” The Filth Licker hurried over to check on the progress of the bugs in the basin. “My abode will be the envy of all my kind.”

“You should open your windows too. The flies will catch wind of your smell, and this place will be full in no time.” With that suggestion, Saki crossed her arms. After all the work she'd done, she was collecting on the promise they'd made, one way or another. “Now, I did this for you because you promised to return the lady's shell.”

“Of course, of course. My promise is as strong as my odor, I assure you. This favor will not be forgotten, not as long as spirits walk this earth.”

Saki began to blush. “Um, that's great. I'm glad you like it. There is one more thing you can do for me though. I was supposed to come here and get rid of you, but I think that as long as you agree to stay here and not muck up anyplace else in the shrine, all the other spirits should let you be.”

The Filth Licker nodded vigorously. “They can't take my wonderful home away. They can't.”

“Trust me, I don't think you'll have much competition for a place like this…but if you want to make sure that no one bothers you, you have to swear not to leave the outhouse.”

“Why would I ever want to leave? This is the perfect place for me.”

“Good. You should tell that to anyone who comes around here. They might be looking for trouble, but they might just be ignorant. If they think you've tricked them, they probably won't be happy.”

“I will, I swear. I'll warn everyone that to stay here, they must bring filth to share with me and my friends. We'll stay here, together, in the dark.”

“That's probably for the best.” Saki sidestepped to make way for a dung beetle scurrying down from the basin.

The Filth Licker descended into the stalls of the outhouse and returned with a spiral shell bigger than Saki's torso. The surface of the shell, which might have once been beautiful, was covered in the Filth Licker's spindly handprints. The spirit handed the shell to Saki the way a parent might part with a newborn baby.

Saki heaved, unable to hold the weight of the shell, and the edges slipped from her hand. The shell made a wet thump on the muddy floor. Saki winced, and the Filth Licker looked to be on the verge of tears. Despite the noise, nothing appeared to be broken. Saki wheeled the shell down the stairs and out of the outhouse, gave the spirit a brief smile, and shut the door.

“Fine work, humanchild,” said the tengu. “Now deliver the shell to the slug, and we must be on our way. The night has slipped past us as we've dallied among the shrine spirits.”

“I know. I'm going as fast as I can. But we can't just give the shell back covered in muck. The guards will never let us through the door.”

She rolled the shell to the well and grabbed the pulley. Saki heaved up bucket after bucket of water. Each time the shell was doused, a little more of its pearlescent shine returned. With a scrub brush from the cleaning tools, Saki polished the surface until she could see her face reflected back.