The No-cry Potty Training Solution (2 page)
Read The No-cry Potty Training Solution Online
Authors: Elizabeth Pantley
Offer Praise and Encouragement—but How Much?
One More Reminder to Be Patient
No Place for Punishment or Shame
It Is a Natural, Biological Process
How Do You Know When It’s Safe to Go Diaperless?
How to Help Your Child Stay Dry
Solving Common Toilet Training Problems 105
Solving Any Toilet Training Problem
Coordinating Two Homes for Training
Traveling with a Newly Trained Child
x
Contents
Fathers and Daughters in Public Restrooms
Using Portable Toilets with Your Child
Potty Training Twins, Higher Order Multiples, or Two
Potty Training Children with Special Needs
Refining Your Little Boy’s Aim
Urinary Tract Infections (UTI)
Fascination with New Bathrooms
Stalling Bedtime with Potty Visits
Bladder-Stretching Exercises for Accident Control
Handling His Penis While on the Potty
Embarrassing Bathroom Questions
Motivating a Child with No Interest in Potty Training
Acknowledgments
W
ith warm and heartfelt appreciation to:
• Judith McCarthy and everyone at McGraw-Hill,
absolutely the best publisher ever
• Meredith Bernstein, agent extraordinaire
• Patti Hughes, incredible, enthusiastic assistant
• My family, my joy: Robert, Mom, Angela,
Vanessa, David, Coleton, Michelle, Loren, Sarah, Nicholas, Renée, Tom, Matthew, Devin, Tyler,
Amber, and Mike
And to my wonderful group of Test Mommies and
Test Daddies:
Jen, Jodie, Mel, Shelia, Amy, Tina, Angela, Sarah, Patti, Genevieve, Janie, Sharon, Rina, Lucie, Tracy, Rhonda, Kathi, Bridget, Molly, Ezia, Michelle, Matthew, Lorraine, Romi, Tonia, Kirsten, Leanne, Sheri, Kara, Diana, Liz, Kieron, Sean, Jocelyn, Bethany, Julie, Bonnie, Toni, Jennifer, Greg, Stephanie, Gabriela, Marianne, Shaila, Shelley, Linda, Olga, Rachael, Kim, Jane, Jolene, Asphyxia, Deborah, Kari, Brianna, Tiane, Gary, Xenia, Rebecca, Christy, Frances, Avital, Ann, Angelique, Annette, Renee, Beckie, Sheila, Carole, Karen, Annik, Deanna, Linda, Mari, Pamela, Catherine, Monica, Isadora, Yolanda, Louise, Michael, Margaret, Lorna, Loddie, Ashlea, Ryan, David, Liat, Kristi, Leigh, Lisa, Nikki, Wendy, Keelin, Tracy, Janice, Tara, Deandra, Luke, Krista, Josef, Mark, Juliana, Sarah, Jesse, Suzanne, Kristi, Christine, Karen, xi
xii
Acknowledgments
Faith, Marisa, Diana, Janice, Theresa, Wanda, Kia, Brian, Janell, Christina, Doreen, Jaimie, John, Ole, Sherry, Joanne, Sara, Amy, Marie, Jacquelyn, Barbara, Mara, Nicole, Ric, Rivka, Yenny, Graeme, Alan,
Brandy, Amy, Marcie, Anne-Marie, Kendra, Andreia, Kendra 2, Donna, Juliane, Sherisse, Andrew, Noreen, Reneé, Josh, Adam, Stacey, Julietta, Louise, Reagan, Felicia, Jessica, Jim, Marianna, Phylicia, Debbie, Tiffany, Maribel, Bruce, Daniel, Amy, Melissa, Monica, Sekou, Rachelle, Sonja, Lindsay, Cristina, Bobbie, Christy, Nicole, Oliver, Becky, Ann, Catherine, Osama, Barb, Kim, Natasha, Catherine, Jennifer, Amy, Bobbie, Keara, Elana, Sakina, Gale, Michelle, Graciela, Ken, Britt, Bill, Eleese, Maisha, Karen, Sarah, Laura, Amanda, Mike, Marlo, Judy, Christy, Erin, Joe, Meleila, Cindy, Liz, Betsy, Karolyn, Myles, Kimberly, Jacqueline, Adam, Natalia, Esther, Jessie, Michel, Sharalyn, Karen, Dale, Margaret, Melvin, Mary, Lynee, Heidi
Introduction
Potty training your child shouldn’t require an instruction manual the size of a telephone book, nor should it require a visit to your pediatrician. It certainly shouldn’t involve a private consultant’s assistance! Yet you may be like many other parents who get the idea that this is a complicated, difficult undertaking and can’t possibly be done with ease. I have good news. As a parent educator and four-time veteran of the toilet training process, I know that potty training
can
be simple, pleasant, and, yes, even fun. I’ve written this guide so that you can sail through the potty training process easily and joyfully with your child.
The No-Cry Potty Training
Quick Guide
The first thing you’ll find in this book is a six-part Quick Guide to potty training. This is a summary of the high points in this book. It offers everything you need to know to get your child from diapers to underpants. It’s simple because potty training should be simple. I’d like to help you eliminate any tense emotions, competi-tiveness, and analysis before we even get started, as these unnecessarily complicate the process. If you’ll follow a few straightforward steps, your child can pleasantly achieve the move out of diapers without stress or tears.
xiii
xiv
Introduction
Relax: It’s Simply Natural
You’ve been going to the bathroom for a long, long time, and it’s something you do without much thought.
Your child has been using a diaper for a long time, and it’s something he or she does without much thought.
For the first time, your child will learn to listen to his or her body signals and think about getting to the toilet on time. This will be a big change in your child’s everyday life, and it’s a step toward independence that young children embrace. It’s something that every child adjusts to in time, and it’s a process that most children enjoy learning.
When you approach toilet training with knowledge, respect, patience, and a plan, it can be as normal and uncomplicated as teaching your child how to walk, talk, or use a spoon. This can be a wonderful learning experience for both of you.
So here we go. Have fun with potty training!
The No-Cry Potty Training
Solution Quick Guide
The following Quick Guide will provide you with an overview of the toilet training process. It can serve as an introduction to or a review of the potty training plan, or as a reminder once you’ve set up your child’s toilet training plan. The Quick Guide highlights the information contained in the rest of this book, so when you need more details you can easily refer to the corre-sponding expanded chapter.
Quick Guide 1:
Facts About Potty Training
Potty training can be natural, easy, and peaceful. The first step is to know the facts.
• The perfect age to begin potty training is different for every child. Your child’s best starting age could be anywhere from eighteen to thirty-two months.
Pre-potty training preparation can begin when a child is as young as ten months.
• You can begin training at any age, but your child’s biology, skills, and readiness will determine when he can take over his own toileting.
1
2
The No-Cry Potty Training Solution
Jordan, two years old
• No matter the age that toilet training
begins
, most children become physically capable of independent toileting between ages two and a half and four.
• It takes three to twelve months from the start of training to daytime toilet independence. The
more readiness skills that a child possesses, the quicker the process will be.
• The age that a child masters toileting has absolutely no correlation to future abilities or intelligence.
• Nighttime dryness is achieved only when a child’s physiology supports this—you can’t rush it.
• A parent’s readiness to train is just as important as a child’s readiness to learn.
• Most toddlers urinate four to eight times each day, usually about every two hours or so.
• Most toddlers have one or two bowel movements each day, some have three, and others skip a day or two in between movements. In general, each
child has a regular pattern.
The No-Cry Potty Training Solution Quick Guide
3
• More than 80 percent of children experience setbacks in toilet training.
• Ninety-eight percent of children are completely daytime independent by age four.
For more information, read Chapter 1.
Quick Guide 2:
Readiness Quiz
Potty training is easier and happens faster if your child is ready. Take this quiz to find out where your child is on the readiness spectrum. (An expanded quiz appears in Chapter 2.)
1. I can tell by watching that my child is wetting or filling his diaper:
a. Never.
b. Sometimes.
c. Usually.
2. My toddler’s diaper needs to be changed:
a. Frequently, every hour or two.
b. It varies.
c. Every two to three hours—sometimes less
frequently.
3. My child understands the meaning of wet, dry, clean, wash, sit, and go:
a. No.
b. Some of them.
c. Yes.
4. When my child communicates her needs, she:
a. Says or signs a few basic words and I guess the rest.
4
The No-Cry Potty Training Solution
b. Gets her essential points across to me.
c. Has a good vocabulary and talks to me in
sentences.
5. If I give my child a simple direction, such as, “put this in the toy box,” she:
a. Doesn’t understand or doesn’t follow directions.
b. Will do it if I coach or help her.
c. Understands me and does it.
6. My child can take his pants off and put them on: a. No.
b. With help he can.
c. Yes.
7. I think that it’s the right time to begin potty training my child:
a. No.
b. I’m undecided.
c. Yes.
Total the number of responses for each letter:
a. __________
b. __________
c. __________
Most answers are
a
:
Wait.
Your little one doesn’t seem to be ready just yet. Test again in a month or two.
Most answers are
b
:
Time for pre-potty training—
get ready!
Your child is not quite ready for active training, but you can take steps to prepare your toddler for the future.
Gradual introduction of terms and ideas will make potty training easier.
The No-Cry Potty Training Solution Quick Guide
5
Most answers are
c
:
Your toddler is ready to use the
potty!
It’s time to start your potty training adventure.
Between two scores
Just like any parenting situation, there are choices to make. If your child is hovering between two categories, your intuition and knowledge of your own child can direct you toward the right plan of action.
For more information and the expanded quiz, read Chapter 2.
Quick Guide 3:
Pre-Potty Training
If your child is near or past his first birthday, you can begin incorporating these ideas into his life. They are simple things that will lay the groundwork for potty training and will make the process much easier when you’re ready to begin.
• During diaper changes, narrate the process to teach your toddler the words and meanings for
bathroom-related functions, such as
pee-pee
and
poo-poo
. Include descriptive words that you’ll use during the process, such as
wet
,
dry
,
wipe
, and
wash
.
• If you’re comfortable with it, bring your child with you when you use the toilet. Explain what you’re doing. Tell him that when he gets bigger, he’ll put his pee-pee and poo-poo in the toilet instead of in his diaper. Let him flush the toilet if he wants to.
