The No-cry Potty Training Solution (18 page)

128

The No-Cry Potty Training Solution

Nielah, fourteen months old

Absolutely, a young child should never go into a public restroom alone, as this is a safety issue on many levels. In addition, you should never entrust your child to a stranger (even if it’s an employee of the business) to watch her in the bathroom. You are also right not to ask
Common Questions and Sensible Answers

129

your daughter to hold it, which could lead to an accident or, if repeated, to problems with urination.

It’s always been acceptable for mothers to bring both little girls and little boys into public restrooms, which tend to be very private with separate toilet stalls for each person. Having Dad bring his daughter into the men’s room is a little bit different. To get a solution to this dilemma, I turned to the expert in our house. I asked my husband what he used to do when our two girls were little. He said that it was never a big issue for them. If the men’s bathroom was a single room, he’d just bring her in with him and lock the door. If the room had an unlocking door and multiple stalls, he’d just scoop her up, tuck her head into his shoulder to cover her eyes, and walk quickly into an individual stall.

He said it was a common sight in men’s bathrooms—

dads rushing by with little girls cradled in their arms.

Happily, these days many public places now have

“family restrooms” intended for diaper changes or for a parent and child to use together. Hopefully these will become more commonplace. You can try to time potty visits to coincide with better bathroom options, but this, of course, isn’t always possible. Another option for you is to keep a portable potty in the car for on-the-road pit stops.

Public Restrooms

Any tips on using public restrooms with a potty trainee?

Most young children who are just embarking on the potty adventure love to visit new and different bathrooms. They like to explore the unique flushers, the 130

The No-Cry Potty Training Solution

unfamiliar sinks, and the many different paper towel holders and hand dryers. When you can, allow your child a few minutes for this exploration.

Children who are using potty chairs or toilet seat adapters at home may not be comfortable using the big, regular toilets in public restrooms. There are folding seat adapters on the market that fit over the seat to give your child a more familiar fit. You can also purchase adhesive seat covers in colorful patterns that are child-friendly and that also protect your little one’s bottom from germs.

Keep in mind that if your child is accustomed to using the toilet with his feet on the floor, he may find it difficult to have a bowel movement with his legs dangling in the air. If you’re flexible and game, you can kneel on one knee in front of your child and have him put his feet on your leg. Or if the trash can is movable, cover it with a paper towel and let your child use it for a footstool.

Be wary of automatic flushing toilets. These have startled more than one child who has been sitting on the toilet during an unexpected flush. Automatic toilets have an electronic device that registers when a toilet has been vacated. Most children are too short for the device to register properly, and movement can cause the flush. You can purchase a Flush-Stopper, which blocks the toilet’s electronic “eye,” or hold your hand or a paper towel over the button while your child is on the toilet.

Very often newly trained children wait until the last minute to announce the need to go, and in a public place that could put you at the end of a line with your child dancing with urgency. Never be afraid to politely
Common Questions and Sensible Answers

131

ask if you can move to the front of a restroom line when you are taking a child in need. A smile and a mention that she’s newly potty trained will have most people happily allowing you to go first.

Using Portable Toilets with Your Child

Our older son plays baseball, so we spend a lot of time in
the spring at various baseball fields. We’re just going into
ball season, and we’re thinking of potty training our younger
son but wondering how he’ll respond to going in those outdoor porta-potties.

Our three older children play baseball, so we faced this dilemma with our fourth child, Coleton. Because we were quite familiar with the unsanitary and somewhat frightening look of these portable toilets, we made some of our potty training decisions based on the schedule for the season. There are various ways to approach this situation.

If your child is only somewhat ready to begin training, you might want to put off training for a few months, until the sports season is over. That’s a simple way to avoid dealing with the issue altogether. Use the next few months to follow the ideas in Chapter 3 to prepare your child to begin active training after the baseball season.

However, if your child is ready for potty training—

and you are, too—there are ways to proceed and handle the lack of indoor plumbing.

One must-have product is a folding, portable toilet seat adapter. Buy the biggest one you can find, because many portable toilets have super-sized gaping-hole 132

The No-Cry Potty Training Solution

openings and you want to be certain that the seat is adequately covered. Be sure to place the adapter securely on the seat and also hold on to your child as he uses the toilet. You don’t want your child to fall in—

that could set back toilet training forever!

You can bring your child’s potty chair along in the car and place it on the floor in the porta-potty stall, or avoid these delightful little rooms entirely and let your child use his potty chair in the car.

Another option is to scout out the immediate neighborhood and find out if a nearby fast-food restaurant or store has a bathroom you can use when necessary.

(Understand that this won’t
always
work with a new trainee, who often doesn’t announce the need to go until it’s urgent.)

Keep in mind that you want to continue to teach your child good hygiene, and many portable toilets don’t provide any method for hand washing. Carry a small bottle of hand sanitizer or some wet wipes in your bag to do the job.

Potty Training Twins, Higher Order

Multiples, or Two Children Close in Age

I have twins who just had their second birthday. What do I
need to know about potty training the two of them?

Parents who have twins, higher order multiples, or two children close in age sometimes believe that they should train their children at the same time. While this may seem like a time-saver, it doesn’t always work out that way, as your children may approach readiness at

Common Questions and Sensible Answers

133

Father-Speak

“We’ve made it a rule not to use one daughter’s success to inspire the other’s, even though it is very tempting to say, ‘Your sister is doing it; you can, too.’ Competition is already a natural part of their relationship, and this kind of thing can backfire and actually halt progress for the less enthused twin.”

—Jim, father of two-year-old twins Anna and Amy different times. It’s always easier to work with a child who is ready and able to tackle the new skill.

I’d suggest that you take the readiness quiz in Chapter 2 separately for each of your children. Don’t compare your children to each other or to any other children. When they start training and when they finish it has nothing whatsoever to do with their brilliance or abilities—it simply has to do with their toileting readiness. When the time comes for them to learn to tie their shoes, ride a bike, or write in cursive, they will likely master these skills—as they will many others—at different times. Avoid comparing their skills or commenting in public about the advanced skills of one child over another.

It’s likely that if one child is ready sooner than the other, that child will become ready more quickly just by watching and learning from her sibling. So keep your eyes open to watch for signs that readiness is taking a leap forward.

Purchase at least two potty chairs, because you’ll want an accessible potty for each child whenever the 134

The No-Cry Potty Training Solution

urge strikes. Also, it’s likely that when one is sitting on the potty, the other will think it’s a great idea. In addition, once you get in the routine of using the potty after meals, before bed, and in the morning, they won’t have to wait and take turns, which could invite arguments or accidents.

It can be helpful to set up a play area in the bathroom, with toys or games, so that if one child is using the potty, the other can be patient and happy while waiting for the other. (This is a good tip to keep any younger children happy, too.)

Keep in mind that every child learns differently. Just because a certain method works perfectly for one child doesn’t mean it will work for another. Your children may require slightly different approaches as you go through the potty training process, so be open, attentive, and, of course, patient.

Potty Training Children with Special

Needs

Our daughter has developmental and physical disabilities.

Do you have any specific ideas for toilet training a child with
special needs?