The No-cry Potty Training Solution (13 page)

These sticker decorations will make her more connected with the poster and also act as fun rewards for potty visits.

Use a Potty Doll

If your child enjoys playing with dolls, stuffed animals, or figurines, you may be able to use this to your advan-86

The No-Cry Potty Training Solution

tage. Children often humanize their toys—making them do all sorts of everyday activities from eating to dressing to sleeping—so a child who enjoys this kind of fantasy play would likely follow your lead in having her toy learn how to use the potty right along with her.

Simply select a toy to be a potty partner of the day, or purchase a doll that actually drinks and wets and have your child “teach” the doll how to use the potty.

It’s a good idea to name this little friend and include her in your other play activities so she, too, can stop what she’s doing when it’s time to go potty.

You might even have two such dolls so that you can direct the action with your own doll. This will allow you to instruct your child through all the steps of using the potty, right up to washing hands afterward. And because children love to play with their parents and are frequent copycats, this can be a fun and effective process. Not to mention that this will give you some lovely quality time with your little one.

A potty doll by itself usually isn’t a magic ticket to complete potty training. But when used with other strategies, it can be a great teaching tool for children who enjoy this kind of play.

Tips for Your Little Boy

In most cases it is best to begin potty lessons with your son sitting down to pee. The primary reason for this is that if you teach him to pee standing up, you will be splitting toilet training into two separate jobs: urination and bowel training. The more often your little boy sits

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Do Boys Take Longer than Girls to

Toilet Train?

You may have heard that little boys finish toilet training later than girls. There does tend to be a difference, but the amount is insignificant in the big picture. Studies show that on average, girls are one to three months ahead of boys, both with displaying readiness skills and with daytime and nighttime independence. However, all children are different, and the age range for starting and finishing training is quite broad. Also, because the whole process can take up to a year from start to finish, the difference likely won’t mean much to your family.

Children’s individual personality traits, readiness factors, and age at training and the parent’s approach are all more significant factors in the timing of toilet training.

to pee, the more likely you are to catch a poop in the process, particularly because they often occur at the same time.

It also makes sense to wait to teach your son how to stand and urinate until he is tall enough to easily master the aim into the bowl. Until then, keep your little boy on the potty chair, and get him in the habit of holding his penis pointed down toward the bowl to avoid having him sprinkle outside the potty. You might also try having him sit and straddle the toilet seat facing backward. It’s easier for him to climb up this way, and it also puts him in the proper position for elimination.

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Plus you’ll avoid the overspray that can wet his clothing . . . and you . . . and the floor . . . and the wall. . . .

A new option has recently appeared on the market—

toddler-sized urinal potties. This looks like a miniature version of a regular urinal but has a bucket just like a potty chair does. If you use one of these, make sure you either put it on an easy-to-clean floor surface or place a plastic mat around the base until your little one masters his aim. The potential problem with teaching a little boy to stand to pee from the start is that it may interfere with bowel training. Children must sit and relax on the potty in order to have a bowel movement, and because BMs often accompany pee, having boys potty train while seated often makes for more effective and easier training.

Once your little guy has begun to master toilet training and is tall enough to reach the toilet bowl easily, you can switch him to standing up at the regular toilet.

If your family has been comfortable with family nudity, and if Daddy or a brother is a willing teacher, have one of them show your toddler how this works. You can also toss into the bowl a square of toilet paper, a specially made potty target, or a few Cheerios for him to use as target practice to help him perfect his aim.

As the mother of two boys with excellent toilet seat manners but who have many young friends who lack them, I beseech you: teach your little boy to lift the seat to pee and then to return it to the lowered position when done. If you teach him to make this a habit from the start, he’ll always do it that way. Otherwise, women who use the toilet after your son does will get the shocking surprise of landing with a thump on the cold porcelain rim or of sitting on a splattering of urine drops—neither of which is very pleasant, to say the least.

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Be Prepared to Get to a Bathroom

Quickly

Even before your child asks, make sure that you always know where the bathroom is when you are out and about in a store, a bank, a friend’s home, or anywhere else. This way, you can move quickly when your little one announces the need to go.

A child who is new to this potty business may wait until the last moment to announce a need to go. When your child says she has to go, get to the potty—and do it quickly! While it’s sometimes annoying to have to stop everything to take her to the bathroom, this is exactly what you have been hoping to achieve. Your child is recognizing the urge and delaying elimination until she gets to the toilet. So be patient and supportive, even when the urgent quest results in a dry run.

Get a Jump Start to Success

If your toddler is excited about potty training and seems to be getting the hang of it, or if you have a potty deadline you must meet, you can help speed up the process.

Pick a day when you will be home all day and will have no outside pressures. Give your child lots of salty snacks and juice or water to drink. Watch him carefully for signs that he needs to go, or set a timer or keep a log so that you remember to do a potty run every thirty minutes or so. Try to think of ways to make this a fun game.

More liquid in means more liquid out, so you’ll have plenty of practice visits to the toilet. And we all know that practice makes perfect!

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Get Everyone on the Same Track

If your child spends time in someone else’s care, make sure that everyone communicates with each other regarding your child’s potty training. Have a clear plan for potty training so that everyone is consistent when working with your child. (For information on potty training at day care, see page 138.)

Offer a Prize

If you are not certain that your child is physically ready for potty training, I would advise against using any kind of prize system. If he is physically unable to use the potty on his own, you’ll just be setting him up for disappointment.

If, however, your toddler is ready physically for potty training but is reluctant emotionally or adapting to the idea slowly, you can help spark the excitement with stickers or “potty prizes.” No matter what you’ve thought about giving children prizes as rewards in the past, there are times to use this effective idea—and potty training is one of those times. According to some polls, more than 80 percent of parents have given their children rewards or prizes for using the potty, so you’d be in good company.

My surveys have uncovered the fact that most toddlers and preschoolers can be highly motivated to make changes when offered prizes—which, I’m sure, is no great surprise to you! There are several approaches you can use.

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The Sticker Plan

Using colorful stickers as rewards is a popular choice among parents and children. Your child can place stickers on a piece of poster board, in a sticker book, or on a calendar posted in a visible spot on the wall (prefer-ably near the potty). Another place where your child can put these stickers is right on the potty chair! This is great fun for a little one and personalizes the seat even more. Invite your child to add a sticker each time he successfully uses the potty. The stickers alone are often enough fun to motivate a child.

If your child requires a bit more incentive, set things up so that a certain number of stickers earns a prize (whatever number you want it to be, but not so many that your child loses interest during the wait; you may want to start off with a small number—say, three stickers—and work your way up, maybe to ten or so). When the magic number of stickers is on the chart, your child gets a prize. This can be a trip out for an ice-cream cone, a small toy, or a special privilege.

The Potty Prize Treasure Box

Many parents have reported wonderful success with this colorful idea. Here’s how it works:

1. Buy about thirty inexpensive little prizes. (Check the toy store’s party favor aisle for a great selection of inexpensive trinkets. “Dollar stores” are good sources for little rewards, too.)

2. Wrap each prize separately in colorful wrapping paper.

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3. Put the prizes in a clear plastic bowl on the bathroom counter. Call it the Potty Prize Treasure Box, or some other fun and enticing name.

4. Tell your child, “These are
potty prizes
. You’ll get one each time you do your business in the toilet.

But no hurry—whenever you’re ready.”

Most kids are “ready” immediately, but don’t be surprised if your child drools over the prize bowl for a few days before deciding to be ready.

Allow your child to choose one prize each time he goes. By the time the prize bowl is empty, the habit will be firmly in place. If your toddler requests a prize after the Treasure Box is empty, ask him to find some of his old prizes and tell him you’ll wrap them up again.

(Truly. The fun is in the unwrapping!)

After a while your child will begin to forget to ask for a prize, and you can easily move on to the “no-prize”

phase.

Make Hand Washing a Fun Part of the

Potty Routine

Washing hands after using the toilet is a major deterrent to the spread of germs and infection, yet research shows that many
adults
don’t routinely wash their hands after bathroom visits, and many don’t do an adequate job of washing when they do it. While 95 percent of men and women surveyed
say
they wash their hands after using a public restroom, about half actually do it, according to the results of an observational study.

(Makes you wonder
who
researches these things.)

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Asher, two years old

Women surveyed were significantly more likely than men to
say
that they wash their hands.

“Hand washing is the simplest, most effective thing people can do to reduce the spread of infectious dis-eases,” according to Julie Gerberding, M.D., director of the Hospital Infections Program, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

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You can instill this healthy lifelong hand-washing habit in your child by making it a standard part of the potty visit each time, whether he makes a deposit or not. Most children love to play and splash in the water, so with a little encouragement, your child will happily adopt this ritual.

Make certain you have a sturdy step stool so that your child can easily reach the sink. Select colorful soaps, foam soap dispensers, or child-friendly soaps. You might even have several available so that he has a choice about which to use. Don’t rush it. Make sure he lathers up, which can be great fun. Supervise a thorough rins-ing, and have an easily accessible towel for drying off.

You can encourage your little one’s independence by teaching him how to do this on his own.