The NSC Boxset: Heart of Stone (71 page)

His agonised expression caused me to nod slowly at him, I desperately wanted his arms around me, comforting and loving me but I was still too numb so I just nodded and he smiled gently.

“I love you, Ava.” He whispered against my head as he kissed me and left the room.

I slowly rose from the bed, dragged my feet across the floor and entered the shower cubicle, fully clothed.

I stood under the torrent of water, watching it streak pink with the blood from my clothes and I tipped my head to study it. It swirled into pretty patterns, whirling round my feet and down the drain, into the sewers, down to the depths of hell and back to its host.

My green dress was covered in his remains and I suddenly had an overwhelming need to peel it away from me, the thought that a part of him was touching me had me scrambling and ripping it off, shredding it between my fingers in the desperation to get it off me. I eventually removed it and threw it across the bathroom, doing the same with my underwear as my emotions were slowly returning.

I turned the shower to cold, the need for a stimulant to wake me from the zone. Its icy current powered into me, scratching at my pores and nerve endings, bringing my body back to life.

Closing my eyes, I leant my head back, the freezing water now pouring over my face whilst I slid to the floor and huddled my knees up as Katie’s happy smile settled in my head. Her cheeky laugh and beautiful face brought the first wave of sobs. The vision of her waving as she disappeared into the background brought the first tremors surging through my body and her final words of thank you in my ears brought the first torrent of screams; screams of release and finality.

Mason appeared suddenly and collapsed down on the floor with me, huddling me close. He reached over and increased the temperature as he held me and we sat, clinging to each other on the floor, in the shower for a long time as my body drained away all the torture, pain and horror of that night, ultimately liberating me and at long last laying Katie to rest.

I tilted my head back and looked at Mason’s heartbroken face; his utter love, devotion and regret evident on his tight features. “When was the last time you used coke?” I asked openly and he sighed.

“Yesterday,” he affirmed without hesitation. I searched his eyes for the truth and nodded, thankful for his open honesty.

My hand snaked round to the back of his neck as I pulled his mouth onto mine, kissing him tenderly and slowly, controlling the kiss and pulling him tighter. I needed him to make me forget, I needed him to comfort me and I needed him to cleanse me.

I turned round onto my knees as I cupped his face, sliding my thumbs along his cheek bones as I loved him with my kiss. “Oh Ava,” he choked agonizingly as my fingers slid into his hair and grabbed a handful of his brown silkiness, pulling him further into the kiss as though I wanted to devour him.

He moaned as I grasped the hem of his T-shirt and pulled it over his head then sat back to study his magnificent body. I placed my palms on his chest and trailed my fingers down his abdomen; the need to taste him was overwhelming so I leant forward and placed a kiss over his heart, trailing my tongue over his skin and grazing his nipple between my teeth.

He moaned loudly as I continued to worship his glorious body with my mouth. I popped the buttons on his jeans working my way downwards. He raised his hips so I could pull off his jeans and shorts and I groaned as I set my eyes on his naked form. “God you’re beautiful,” I whispered. He tilted my head back and kissed me passionately.

“I’m so sorry, Ava” he rasped as his hands rested on my heavy breasts, caressing them gently as his thumbs skated over my stiff nipples.

I moaned and tilted my head back, arching my back to push my breasts further into his hands. His mouth replaced his fingers as he sucked in a nipple, pulling it roughly into his mouth and flicking his tongue across it. “
Yes
” I hissed as his teeth bit down, something he knew drove me wild. His fingers slid down and cupped my mound. I wriggled against him, trying to get some needed friction. “Touch me Mason, feel what you do to me,” I demanded on a harsh breath.

His finger slid the length of my groove and when he slipped it inside me we both groaned together. “You’re so wet Ava,” he moaned into my breast. His mouth crashed down on mine again as he started to pound into me with his fingers and I rocked wildly onto them.

“Mason,” I gasped with a desperation as his thumb flicked over my clit. “Yes! Fuck! Yes!” I cried as I exploded around his fingers. I grabbed his hair roughly, pulling his face to mine as my arousal heightened, turning my need animalistic and potent. “Fuck me, Mason.” I demanded.

He was feral as he growled, his eyes dark and severe as his breathing deepened. He lifted me up and carried me into the bedroom, but he laid me down gently and flanked me with his body as he cupped my face and kissed me tenderly.

“I love you so much,” he whispered as he planted gentle little kisses down my neck and across my breasts. “So much.”

“I love you,” I echoed as he licked down my stomach, across my hips and onto the inside of my thighs, driving me wild with desire. “Mason,” I wheezed.

“What do you want, Ava?” He bent my leg and lifted it high, now trailing kisses over the back of my knees. “Tell me, Ava,” he demanded.

“I need you inside me, I need to feel you as close as possible,” I declared, my voice breaking with desire.

“I can smell your arousal, Ava. You smell fucking amazing,” he whispered as he tracked higher and swept his tongue over the full length of me.

My hips bucked and I hissed. “Fuck! You’re so sexy, Ava. The way you moan sets me on fire.” He groaned as his tongue swept over me again and he sucked on my clit.

“Oh God,” I cried. My hips bucked off the bed and I grabbed his hair as his tongue laboured on me, working me into a wriggling and panting wreck beneath him. As he slid his thumbs inside me I cried out his name. I came into his mouth and he growled loudly as I jerked and jolted wildly. “Fuck yes!” I screamed.

He slid his body up the length of me and nudged at my opening. “You ready, baby?” he grated and I nodded, having long lost the ability of speech.

He slid into me slowly and gently. I arched my back as he glided all the way in, filling me to an extreme with his thick hard length. “Oh yeah,” he moaned loudly and rolled his hips, rubbing his pelvis against my clit.

“Jesus, Mason.” I could barely breathe as he slid unhurriedly and rhythmically in and out while he kissed me, his tongue matching the rhythm of his thrusts.

I reached down between us and gripped his length as we both looked down to watch him sinking in and out of me. “Beautiful,” he murmured. “Joined,” he whispered then kissed me feverishly and more demanding.

He pulled out and flipped me onto my stomach, re-entering me from behind as his body pressed me into the mattress. “Faster, Mason,” I breathed as he sped up, pounding into me. “Yes like that. Harder. Fuck me harder.”

His hand gripped my hair and pulled my head back so he could kiss me. He sunk his teeth into my shoulder as he really started to thrust powerfully, his need to claim me as his again coursing through him.

He pulled all the way out and then slammed back in in a single forceful thrust, knocking me further up the bed. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” I screamed with every hard drive. “Fill me Mason, I need your cum inside me,” I shouted.

He gripped my shoulders and nudged my knees up so I was on all fours. “Put that gorgeous ass in the air baby,” he panted.

Gripping the headboard tightly, he continued to pummel me and I slammed back on him, meeting every thrust as he drove into me deeper and deeper. He pulled out and then straddled over me from behind. The angle changed so significantly that each stroke of his cock rubbed against my sweet-spot and within three thrusts I was screaming my release, “Mason!”

I reared back into him as I climaxed violently. I felt him swell and spew into me, his hot spunk hitting my womb as he cried out my name and jerked fiercely as my internal walls clenched every last drop from him, sucking him dry.

He grunted with every spurt. “Oh my God.” He panted as we both slid down onto the mattress, Mason still buried deep inside me as his head rested on my back whilst we both fought for breath. “Jesus Ava. You’re amazing.” He chuckled when I just nodded. “Are you fucked, Ava?” he grinned into my back.

“Foroughly,” I rasped, my face squashed into the pillow.

We both laughed as he rolled over and slid me up to him, still on my stomach but I managed to turn my head to face him as he turned on to his belly and stared at me. He traced my nose and jaw with his finger. “I’m so proud of you Ava, my little warrior” he whispered and I closed my eyes as he reached over, placing a gentle kiss on each eyelid.

“I love you, baby. I know I’ve hurt you so much Ava and you can’t begin to imagine how sorry I am. I fucking hate myself for what I’ve done to you.”

I opened my eyes and looked at him. The pain and guilt in his eyes made me reach out to him and I ran my fingers across his lips, feeling the softness of his mouth.

He kissed each finger, trapping me in his gaze as he begged forgiveness with his eyes. I smiled tenderly and nodded. “No more coke, Mason. I can’t do that, I won’t put up with that.”

“Of course. I was just . . . I was struggling with everything; what the news would do to you, how to tell you and the fact that our baby died because of me.”

He looked utterly lost and broken as a tear slid out and he swiftly wiped it away. “Hey.” I sat up, pulling him up with me. I crossed my legs and faced him. I nodded towards his legs. He rolled his eyes but crossed them and sat facing me.

“One, it is not your fault that Dane was an evil, cruel bastard. That was all his doing and whether the two of you fought or not, he had his eye on me from the first day I arrived at yours, he would have had me sooner or later,” I said frankly and honestly.

“But . . .” he started but I pressed my fingers to his lips.

“Shush,” I scolded. “Two, it wasn’t the drinking and the DVD that hurt me, it was the fact that you had secrets and hid things from me that I couldn’t cope with. Every day I watched you come home drunk and high. You thought I was asleep but I couldn’t sleep until I knew you were home, in our bed, safe. I was angry that you hid the DVD from me, it involves both of us Mason and you should have told me, especially what I knew it would have done to you to receive it and watch it, discovering somebody has been recording our love-making . . . even though Courtney seemed to enjoy it,” I mused and he chuckled.

“And thirdly, yes I can’t say I’m not upset about Rebecca’s pregnancy but again it was the fact that you hid it from me, something so big in your life that you couldn’t share with me. I know you haven’t slept with her since, and it was from before me that she got caught but . . . but . . .” I frowned and looked away.

He reached across and took my hand. “What Ava?” he urged and I sighed.

“The thing that has hurt me most is that you lied to me, you said you had used a condom with every other woman and stupid as it sounds, it meant a lot to me. I was happy knowing that your desire and passion for me made you lose control but now that is tainted because now I feel like . . . like this is how sex is for you with everyone and that . . . that . . .” I couldn’t finish the sentence and I dropped my gaze.

Sliding his finger under my chin he tilted my head back. “Ava, I can promise you utterly and completely that sex isn’t like this for me with anybody else. It’s us Ava, we’re intense and amazing together. You fit me perfectly and the way you make me feel . . . Jesus, you rock my world, Ava. I don’t just come, I fucking explode and I know it’s the same for you,” he argued.

I nodded. “Yes, it is like that for me but . . .”

He shook his head vehemently. “It was the coke Ava, it was because we were high that we didn’t use protection, that’s all. I can’t even fucking remember it, so it can’t have been that great,” he scoffed and I smiled. “I’m a fuck up Ava, I can’t seem to stop hurting you and it’s tearing me apart to watch myself destroy you. I love you so much and I don’t wanna lose you, Ava. I can’t live without you, I’m a mess.”

He sighed and held my hand between both of his, bringing it to his lips and placing it against his mouth. “Marry me, Ava” he said suddenly.

My eyes shot to his. “What?” I gasped.

“Marry me,” he asked with determination. “I promise Ava, I promise to make you happy. I will make it my life to make you happy,” he persisted excitedly.

I couldn’t breathe and I stumbled off the bed. “Mason I . . .” I ran my fingers through my hair in agitation and turned away from him.

What the hell?

I scrambled for some clothes in the wardrobe.

“Ava?” he asked softly. I was hurting him, I knew I was but I couldn’t look at him.

“I can’t do this now, Mason. I’ve just shot a man in the head, god damn it! And you’ve just discovered you’re gonna be a father to Rebecca’s’ baby. Some sick bastard is trying to kill me and now you’re asking me to marry you. I mean what the fuck?” I raged, pulling on some jeans and a T-shirt, not bothering with underwear in my desperation to escape.

“Ava,” he breathed and I knew at that moment I had broken his heart but I just couldn’t stop.

“No! Mason. You have fucked with my heart for weeks on end, one thing after another, slowly and excruciatingly, draining every bit of life out of me and you think you can just pop the question like it . . . like you’re asking if I want soup for tea. God Damn it!”

He remained silent and broken still sat on the bed, looking at me with hurt, agony and heartache pouring off him. “I’m sorry Ava, I . . .” he whispered despondently and looked down at his lap as he fidgeted with his fingers.

“I have to go,” I snapped as I slipped into my flats and left him, still sat on the bed, still twiddling with his bloody fingers as my words ripped him in half.

CHAPTER 41

I HURRIED FROM the house in a frantic need to escape, suffocated from his constant need to possess me.

He hadn’t exited from the bedroom as I scurried round looking for my bag.
Where the hell was it?