The NSC Boxset: Heart of Stone (74 page)

Mason chuckled and I heard the door shut as I glanced round again and spotting another door behind me I risked it and found it opened up onto a tennis court.

“Wow.” I slipped across it and finding a gate, I left the court and followed a little path until I found myself in a little rose garden.

It was stunning, even in the moonlight. Trellises of roses, ivy and other bright blooms surrounded a seclude space, the scent of the flowers enveloped me and the tranquillity of the spot filled me with a sense of peace and awe.

A couple of benches were placed in front of a stunning fountain. It wasn’t switched on but the sculptured marble was quite breath-taking. A huge twisted column rose from the middle as intricate spirals branched from it, making it resemble a tiny ornate tree and I stood staring at it, mesmerised by its simple beauty.

“You’ve found Kerrie’s secret garden,” Mason said behind me and I jumped in alarm. “Sorry,” he chuckled. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

We both stood silently, staring at each other. “Mason I . . . I’m . . .”

He held up a hand to cut me off and shook his head. “No Ava, I’m sorry. It was stupid of me, it wasn’t the time or the place to ask such a life changing question. I understand why you reacted like you did.”

My stomach clenched violently, the pain and guilt of what I had just done with Kade tore through me. I looked away; I couldn’t look him in the eye in case he could see the images that were swirling through my head, smell the scent of Kade on my skin and in my mouth or feel the heat that was still radiating from me.

I nodded and smiled but turned back to the tree, needing the comfort of its beauty to settle me and take away the damn vision of pure rapture on Kade’s face as he entered me.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I felt his arms circle my waist and as he rested his chin on my head my heart broke for what I had done to him, to the man my heart really belonged to.

“Your hairs wet,” he said and I froze.

“Uhh yeah . . . I just took a shower before I came out here.” I cringed but he didn’t say anything.

“Come home, Ava” he breathed and I sighed.

My head was in turmoil, the desperate need to flee this house, not wanting to face Kerrie in the morning but if I went home I’d have to hide my guilt from Mason.

“I want to go back to the cottage tonight, Mason. I need to be alone.” I felt him tense and he pulled back.

A sad expression blanketed his face. “I’ve lost you haven’t I?” he whispered as he cupped my face and stroked his thumb across my cheek.

I placed my hand over his cheek and he nuzzled into it. “No Mason, I still love you. More than anything,” I breathed. I felt the truth of my words in my soul.

I did love this man with my whole being but I had hurt him, betrayed him and I couldn’t be with him tonight. “I just need to be alone with my memories and finally put Katie to rest,” I told him, not entirely lying as I honestly did want to spend the night reminiscing and remembering happy times with Katie now that I could now finally come to terms with her death.

He nodded and drew me close again. “Okay,” he whispered in my ear and as I felt his finger settle under my chin to tip my head, I pulled away.

“Come on.” I held out my hand, avoiding his gaze and as his hand settled in mine I made a promise to myself that I would stay away from Kade.

I loved Mason wholly and entirely, Kade was just a physical attraction. I didn’t need the complication or the guilt, and I certainly didn’t want to hurt Mason, that thought made my heart clench and I squeezed his hand and lifted it to my lips.

“I love you so much, Mason,” I told him and he grinned, such a huge happy grin that lit his eyes. I broke into my own and soon we were both beaming at each other and giggling like fools at the sight of us, like love struck teenagers, well that or models for a toothpaste advert.

As we entered the house to leave a note for Kerrie, Kade was stood nursing a glass of vodka, leaning against the kitchen worktop wearing his jeans and a scowl.

“You okay Kade?” Mason frowned, obviously noticing his grim expression.

“Oh yeah! Just great,” he mocked. I stiffened and glared at him from behind Mason. His eyes narrowed on mine and Mason’s joined hands before he looked away, a pained look in his eyes as he bit his lower lip savagely.

“You need to talk?” Mason asked, probably thinking Kade’s temper was down to Kerrie’s cancer.

Kade scoffed and then shook his head, “Nah!” He slammed his glass down and strode towards us. “You off now then, Ava?” he practically snarled.

My own rage was bubbling. How dare he react this way in front of Mason! He was going to get us both killed.

“Yeah, I’m going home. Tell Kerrie thanks for the hospitality but you know . . .” I shrugged and he huffed.

“Yeah,” he grumbled and walked off, bounding up the stairs two at a time and slamming a door.

“Okayyy!” Mason said and I shrugged, feigning puzzlement. He shook his head and sighed. “Probably Kerrie” he huffed and led me to his car.

CHAPTER 43

AFTER MASON INSISTED on checking every inch of the cottage he left me to the silence of the house and the incessant noise in my head; the argument I had with myself in my mind;
Mason . . . Kade . . . Mason . . . Kade.

I clutched at my hair desperately. “Fucking hell Ava, What have you done?”

I settled on the couch and switched the telly on with the need for a distraction but an hour later I was still morphing their faces in visions of love making, in one image they were both at me; a different man’s mouth on each nipple.

“FUCK! FUCK!” I screamed at the ceiling.

Deciding to bake, I switched on my iPod. Blasting it out loudly I started the relaxing and comforting diversion of a chocolate muffin cake.

An hour later, singing loudly and covered in chocolate and flour, I was icing the cake in chocolate frosting and decorating with a sugar crumble topping when my phone rang.

Wiping my hands on my jeans I frowned at the unknown call but answered anyway. “Heyyy, sweetheart,” Kade’s slurred voice snapped to my attention.

“Kade?” I flinched when he sighed heavily.

“I just needed to hear your voice, Ava.” He was so quiet I had to press my ear to the phone to hear him properly.

“Kade, What do you want?” I asked softly, not wanting to seem as though I didn’t want to know him now he’d brought me off. Although I must admit, very nicely brought me off, the memory had me squeezing my thighs together in frustration.

He laughed and hiccupped. “Isn’t it obvious what I want, Ava?” I closed my eyes against the pain in his voice. “Is he there?” he asked slowly as his voice dropped to a near growl.

I rubbed my temples. “No Kade, Mason’s not here.”

He was silent for a moment. “It felt amazing to be inside you, Ava” he whispered through the phone. My treacherous internal walls clamped tightly at his words but my anger snapped.

“Kade, I have a face, a personality and a damn mind. I’m not just a walking fucking shag hole.” What was it with men and sex? That’s all I felt like, a damn mechanical vagina!

“Sweetheart,” he rasped. “I know that Ava. God, you’re beautiful and funny and strong and confident and fucking . . . just fucking amazing!” I bit my bottom lip as my heart soared at his words.
Damn him!

“Kade. Please don’t do this.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you, Ava.” I rolled my head back and shut my eyes. “I’m in love with you, Ava.”

My eyes snapped open. “W. .wh. .what . . .” I stuttered, my mouth had suddenly gone dry and my throat hurt.

“I said I love you, Ava. I want you so much.”

I rubbed my floury hands over my face and cringed. “Kade, no, you can’t. I’m with Mason. I love Mason.” I winced when I heard him whimper and the phone suddenly went dead. “Kade . . . Kade?”

“Fuck!” I screamed, throwing my phone down on the table. “God Damn it!” I slumped on the sofa and curled into a ball as I struggled to settle my breathing.

I’m in love with you Ava. I’m in love with you Ava. I’m in love with you Ava. I’m in love with you Ava.

“Arghh!” I screamed, swiping the coffee table and sending the TV remote sailing with force across the room and through the TV screen. “Oh for fucks sake!” I cried.

My phone rang again and I sighed heavily but smiled softly. “Hey you.” I greeted Courtney.

“Hey, babe.” Her voice calmed me immediately. “Just checking in. How you doing?” I knew she was referring to the ‘Dean’ incident.

“I’m okay, good, you know?” I said but smiled.

“I know you are, Ava.” She understood me effortlessly.

“Mason with you?” I cringed and hesitated. “Ava? Tell me you are not on your own?” she probed slowly.

I cringed again. “I wasn’t, Mason wanted to be with me but I . . . I . . . Oh Shit Courtney, what have I done?”

She was silent for a moment. “What have you done, Ava?” she ground out even slower than last time. I remained silent, the words stuck in my throat. “Ava, listen,” she continued. “Tell me if it’s none of my business but, well earlier when Kerrie was grilling you at the party and you took off . . .”

I froze with my eyes wide waiting for her to continue. “Well I came looking for you . . .” she whispered. I could feel her cringing even though she wasn’t near me. Sucking in my lips I remained silent, waiting for the words to spill from her mouth. “ . . . and I found you.”

I groaned. “Right,” was all I could say.

We both listened to each other’s breathing for what seemed like an eternity but eventually I sighed, “Well, you could say I have thoroughly fucked up.” I laughed without humour and she sighed.

“Ava, you weren’t in there long enough to do much so I gather it was just a kiss and quick fondle. You don’t need to beat yourself up about it.”

I was slowly sinking into the sofa and cringing with each reassurance she was giving me. “Uh huh” I mumbled.

“Kade’s very hot, so you know. It was just a heated snog and grope, Ava.” She was trying to make me feel better but . . .

“Well yes it was . . . until tonight.” I curled up, squeezing my eyes shut, waiting for the torrent. She was silent for a moment as the words sunk in and then I heard a gasp and I cringed violently.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” she bellowed.

Here it came!

“What the fuck have you done, Ava? Please tell me you haven’t . . . please. Oh Christ, Ava! What the hell were you thinking, babe?” She sucked in a breath then carried on furiously. “I mean yes! Wow he’s fucking hot but . . . but well, Mason for one, Kerrie for two . . . Oh Jesus, Ava. Oh god, what are you gonna do? I mean . . . did you fuck him? Did you go all the way? Oh god, Ava.”

She finally took a breath and I opened my tight eyes. “I know,” I whimpered.

I heard her sigh heavily, “Oh shit, babe.”

“I know, and there’s more.” I gulped when I sensed her stillness, waiting for my story to continue. “He . . . he says he’s in love with me.”

I shrank back even further in to the sofa, any further and I’d be part of the bloody pattern.

She gasped and then gasped again. “Oh my God!” she huffed. “What the hell are you gonna do?”

“I dunno. To be honest I’m a bit worried about him. He phoned me up drunk and declaring his undying love and I . . . I . . . Oh God, Courtney, I was a bitch! I told him he couldn’t love me because I loved Mason.”

She gasped again. “Courtney, I swear to God if you don’t stop bloody gasping I’m gonna come round there and feed a damn airline down your throat!” I snarled and she gasped again.

A small chuckle left my mouth. I heard one from her and then I giggled, then we were both full on laughing as she was exaggeratingly gasping galore. “You fucking bitch,” she managed to say between snorts. I laughed even harder when she said, “We can’t all have our lungs inflated by
two
hot men; some of us have to actually breathe instead.”

And the tears of laughter soon turned to tears of despair until I was sobbing loudly, snottily and thoroughly.

“Oh Ava, you want me to come over, babe?” she asked when I settled down.

“No, I’m okay. My own stupid fault,” I conceded and she sighed.

“Yup.”

I shrugged at her honesty. “Thanks hun,” I laughed.

She was silent for a moment. “Seriously though Ava, Why?”

I thought about her question. “To be honest, because he’s fucking hot and the sexual energy between us is electrical. I practically killed him tonight he got me that aroused. I couldn’t get enough of him. I dunno what it is but I can’t say no, even though I try to,” I admitted.

She snorted. “Well don’t forget I’ve seen how you like to get nailed, so I
can
imagine.” She chuckled, referring to the DVD she watched.

“Mmm,” I snickered.

We both ended the call with ‘I love you.’ I cleaned the kitchen, leaving the shattered TV screen for the morning and curled up in bed, expecting the day’s events to keep me awake but I was so exhausted I didn’t even hear someone trying to open the front door.

I even slept through them kick it when they realised it was locked.

* * *

I woke to a bright sunny day. “Lovely,” I murmured to myself, a run through the park was just what I needed this morning. Stretching thoroughly, I opened my eyes.

I screamed loudly and scrambled off the bed in horror,
“OHHHH FUCKKKKK!”

I stood staring at the dead rabbit sprawled out helplessly on my bed, its eyes wide and its throat still trickling the last few drops of blood onto my pristine white sheet.

Clamping my hand over my mouth I dashed across the landing and violently exploded into the toilet, removing my stomach lining with it.

OH GOD!

I needed to get to my phone, picturing it sat on my coffee table. “Shit!”

Gritting my teeth I crept out and peered everywhere. The coast seemed clear so I silently made my way to the stairs, leaning over the banister to see if I could see anything or anybody.

Tiptoeing carefully and making sure to miss the third step, the one that creaked loudly, I reached the bottom and raked my eyes over the hallway.

The front door lock had been splintered . . . again!

Biting my lip, I shuffled along the wall. I cringed when I made it to the room doorway and placed my hand on the handle. I sucked in a deep breath and twisted the handle. “Please god, please god, please god,” I prayed as I slowly and cautiously slid it open.