The Odds of Lightning (15 page)

The comfortable silence wasn't so comfortable anymore.

Tiny walked away, a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. Nathaniel was being so weird lately.

Like, the other day.

She had been over at his apartment, hanging out. It was a hot, humid afternoon, and the only sane place to exist was somewhere with AC. Nathaniel, Will, and Luella had gone out to get snacks, and it was Tiny's job to find a good movie on Netflix. She had volunteered, because Tobias was home.

Tiny went right to the eighties movies and started scrolling. Tobias strolled in like he was just on a casual walk around the apartment and happened to pass the den. He plopped down next to her, kicked off his hiking boots, and put his feet in her lap.

“Gross!” said Tiny. “Get your sweaty feet off of me.”

“What?” Tobias wiggled his toes. “These feet?”

“Um, yes, why are you even wearing socks in summer?”

“Because I was wearing shoes,” Tobias said, like it should have been obvious.

Tiny refocused on the TV. “
Sixteen Candles
!”

Tobias groaned. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Quirky high school girl has a crush from afar on an older, unattainable guy, but through a series of hilarious yet heartfelt misunderstandings, they end up together? Please. No. Barf.”

“It could happen,” Tiny said.

“Not likely. Keep scrolling.”

“
St. Elmo's Fire
. Eighties-era Rob Lowe!”

“No,” said Tobias. “Only girls like that movie. Next.”

“Are you even watching this movie with us? Who gave you veto power?”

“No one. I don't wait around for people to give me things. I carpe them.”

“Okay, well carpe this:
The Big Chill
!”

“Depressed grown-ups having affairs. Pass.”

“
Pretty in Pink
?”

“She should have ended up with Spader. No.”

“Ugh, you're the worst! Here.” She handed him the remote. “You pick.”

He scrolled. “
Weird Science
,” they said at the same time, as Tobias pressed select.

“I should have guessed,” said Tiny.

Tobias grinned. “Two boys scientifically engineer the girl of their dreams? Classic.”

When Tobias said “girl of their dreams,” Tiny blushed for no reason. Or maybe there was a reason. Maybe her brain had turned it all around and thought he was talking about her.

Being around him made her skin instantly warmer, like she was a kettle that had just been put on a burner. All she wanted was to lean in and put her head on his shoulder. To feel his breath rising and falling under her. She didn't even want it in a conscious way, the way you want an A on a term paper or a bagel sandwich for lunch. It was like her body had a mind of its own. She couldn't stop staring at his lips, especially when he took his glasses off to wipe them on his T-shirt, and she knew he couldn't see. When he put his glasses back on and smiled, she fought a full-body urge to run her fingers through his curly hair. She wanted to feel his arms around her. To know what it felt like to be held tight by someone other than her mom, or Luella.

She thought about him when she closed her eyes at night, and in the morning when she opened them.

Tiny was half afraid that any minute now she'd lose control entirely, forget all basic sense of human decency, and lean right in and kiss him.

“Are you hot?” Tobias said.

“What?” Tiny blinked.

“It's too hot in here. Let's go lie on the kitchen floor.”

The kitchen floor was widely known as the coolest place in the house, especially in summer when the tile was nice and cold from the air conditioner.

Tiny's arms were stretched all the way above her head, and she had been trying for at least a minute or two to get herself as straight as humanly possible, straight as a board. It was an impossible feat, and one of those things you do for long spaces of time without really thinking about it; though she was concentrating hard, she wasn't really there at all. Her mind was floating upward, like a balloon, like the heat. Lying next to Tobias was making her giddy. Their arms were both extended over their heads, and their fingertips were barely touching. The Spencers' dog, Isaac Newton, kept nosing Tiny's armpit, and she desperately wanted to snap her arms down and push him away, but she didn't want to disrupt the moment with Tobias. Isaac Newton couldn't get enough of people's armpits.

“Are you all packed?” Tiny asked.

“No.”

Tiny kicked Tobias's socked foot with hers. “Why do you wear hiking boots all the time?”

“I don't know. Because it reminds me that if I keep hiking, eventually I'll get where I'm going.”

“I'm so jealous,” Tiny said. “You're doing, like, real things. You wrote a paper that's been published.” She rolled over onto her stomach and rested on her elbows. “I'd give anything to be published.”

“You will be. You'll be a famous author one day, and I'll come to your book signings. What are you working on now?”

“A short story about a boy and a girl who meet on the moon.”

“How are they on the moon? Do they work for NASA?”

“It's the future. She's in one of the last colonizing missions from Earth, and he was born on the moon and grew up there. He can breathe in the moon's atmosphere and she can't, so she has to keep her helmet on all the time. They hold hands in zero gravity, and they can only communicate through a sign language that they made up.”

Tobias shifted over to his side. “So what happens? In the story?”

“Eventually she wants to kiss him so badly the girl takes off her helmet and dies. It's very tragic.”

“A tale of star-crossed love,” Tobias mused.

“Yes.” Tiny smiled. “Literally. Because of—”

“The stars. In space. I get it. You,” he said, laughing, “are a singularity.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“Yeah.” He propped himself up on his elbow and looked at her. “It's a good thing.”

Goose bumps exploded across her skin like fireworks. She coughed to break the silence. “Well. What are
you
reading?”

“Right now I'm reading a book about the discovery of gravity,” he said. “So, you know, star-crossed love. Tragic ending. Same sort of thing.”

“Sounds like a real page-turner.”

“Actually, it is. I love gravity. It's my favorite of all the fundamental forces.”

“You have a favorite
force
?”

“What, don't you? To me, the coolest thing about gravity is a constant. That once things are on a certain trajectory, it's almost impossible to change them.”

“Momentum.” Tiny nodded like she knew what she was talking about.

“Exactly.”

“Does it ever make you think about the big things?”

“Big things?”

“Yeah, like fate and stuff. How, if we're on a path, it's hard to change the path. Like how some things are inevitable. Like they're meant to happen.”

“That's a pretty loose interpretation of science.”

“Okay. What about this? If things with a lot of mass have their own force of gravity, and love is like this all-consuming massive thing. I mean, doesn't it make you wonder if it has its own gravity? Like maybe there's a scientific reason why star-crossed love is destined to crash and burn.”

Tobias grinned. “Maybe.”

“Or how there's like, a scientific reason why two”—she almost said
people
—“um, objects are drawn to each other. Come on, think about it!”

“I think about it a lot, actually.”

He was looking at her again with this hard to understand look on his face. Isaac Newton came over and nosed his way between them, getting all licky.

“Ah!” Tiny pulled away and wiped her mouth. “Isaac Newton kissed me!”

“Isaac Newton!” said Tobias. “You beat me to it!”

Tiny couldn't bring herself to look at him. Was he serious? Her heart was pounding.

The door in the hall opened and then closed, and the sounds of Will and Luella arguing about which Doritos flavor was better, Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese, filled the apartment. Suddenly Nathaniel was standing in the kitchen doorway. Tobias and Tiny stood up quickly at the same time. It felt weird, like they'd been caught doing something they shouldn't. Even though, really, there was no reason to feel that way. Maybe it was the look on Nathaniel's face, which was hard to read, but felt mad at them somehow. She looked over at Tobias. And she knew they both felt it standing between them.

“We got snacks!” Luella announced, barreling into the room.

“You can be the judge of which Doritos flavor is better, Tiny,” Will said.

“Nacho Cheese,” Tiny said without hesitating.

“Yes!” Luella said at the same time that Will said, “Oh, come on!”

Tobias stuck his hands in the pockets of his cargo shorts and shuffled his feet awkwardly. “I guess I should go study.”

“It's summer vacation, man,” said Will.

Tobias shrugged. “Not according to my summer reading list.” Tiny thought he looked a little sad.

“Oookay,” said Will.

Nathaniel was quiet throughout all of this. Tiny watched him carefully.

“Hey,” Tobias said. “The world spins. That's a fact. But you better spin with it if you don't want gravity to hold you down or throw you off. You know?”

“That doesn't even make sense, scientifically,” Nathaniel mumbled. Tiny was the only one who heard him. Will and Luella were watching Tobias leave. They glanced at each other, then quickly looked away.

They were all quiet for the rest of the afternoon, even during the funny parts of the movie.

They ran until the park receded behind them and the sirens were swallowed up by the howling wind. She felt like they were emerging from a dark forest into another world. Fifth Avenue stretched out before them again, the tall buildings looming over them, silently watching.

Nathaniel wasn't being himself tonight. He was acting like . . . well. That moment where he'd pushed her out of the way of the tree. It was just like a different moment three years ago.

An off-duty cab swished past down the deserted street.

Tiny shivered. She walked to the curb. In the window of a parked car, her reflection was hard to see.

Another off-duty cab swished past.

“Crap,” said Will. “The traffic ban. I bet they're all off duty and heading back to wherever cabs go when they're off duty.”

Tiny had to keep reminding herself it was Will. He still looked like Owen, and it was getting confusing.

“You know,” Will said, “sometimes I'm jealous of kids in the suburbs who can just get in their cars and drive wherever they want. Put on the radio. Hit the open road. Think of the freedom.”

“Not me,” said Lu. “I don't want to worry about taking care of it.” She began to tick items off on her fingers. “I don't want to pay for gas, I don't want to feel like I have to give rides to people just cause they asked, and I don't want to have to worry about driving drunk.” She paused to breathe. “Give me the subway any day.”

“Agh, guys!” Nathaniel grabbed at his curly hair. “You are literally driving me crazy! Do you not understand what a big deal this is? If we don't get help soon, we could die!”

“Die?” Lu's hands fell to her sides.

“Yes, die! It can't be good to have all this electricity pumping through us. It's like a state of perpetual electrocution!”

Tiny wondered what would be worse. Dying from perpetual electrocution—or fading away into invisibility, forever.

She could feel them all falling back into those same familiar roles. Nathaniel was the smart one. Will was the funny one. Lu was the dramatic one. And what was Tiny? The shy one? The one they all took for granted?

Lu and Will turned to Nathaniel and crossed their arms.

“What?”

“We're waiting for you to suggest something.” Lu raised one eyebrow, which was a disconcerting thing Lu knew how to do. And did a lot.

“I don't have
all
the answers.”

“Yes, you do, buddy,” Will said, slapping Nathaniel on the back. “You can't fool us after that stunt back there in the park. You're our superleader. Guide us.”

Nathaniel ran his hands through his hair.

“Well. Okay.”

In the distance, Tiny saw the far-off light of an empty taxi.

“There!” she cried, and her heart swelled with hope. “Look!”

“Yes!” Will pumped his fist. “Victory!”

Tiny ran out into the middle of the street. She waved her arms up and down.

But the cab didn't stop. It didn't show any sign of slowing down. It didn't even see her.

“Stop!” Tiny yelled. It was getting closer.

“Get out of the way!” Lu called. But no. She wouldn't. She would
make
it see her. She jumped up and down and waved her arms frantically. She closed her eyes and screamed, “Stop!”

Something heavy collided with her. But it wasn't metal and rubber and glass. It was flesh and bone and smelled like boy. The taxi screeched to a stop as Nathaniel pushed her out of the way.

The wind had been knocked out of her. She struggled to stand.

“It didn't see you,” Nathaniel said. Like it was just dawning on him. “The people in the park didn't see you.
I'm
having a hard time seeing you. Tiny, are you—did the lightning—is that why—?”

“Guys!” Will shouted out the window of the cab. “Move it! The meter's running!”

“Come on,” Tiny said, grabbing his hand. “There's no time.” They piled into the back with Will and Lu.

Nathaniel and Will and Lu—did they not
notice
what was happening to her? Did they not even know she was disappearing? Tiny balled her hands into fists at her sides.