The Officer and the Secret (16 page)

Veronica screwed hers tight. “Don’t make me say it again, please?”

“Okay, fine. Well, I guess you’d just head to your regular doctor and ask them. If you don’t have one, there are always basic clinics that you can go to. They usually have pharmacies attached where you can fill the prescription right there in fifteen or twenty minutes.”

She nodded. Though she didn’t have a regular doctor, she knew of a few clinics in the area. She’d driven a fellow server to one after he’d cut his hand and required stitches. “Thanks.”

“Do you want to… uh, talk about… it?”

Madison looked as miserably helpless as Veronica felt. But while she appreciated the effort, she wasn’t a teenager needing parental advice. This was something she’d figure out on her own. She shook her head, thanked her friend, and watched as Madison headed back to her room and her lover.

One more step on the way to becoming an independent adult who had boyfriends and experienced life. The real thing, not a watered down version that was picked out for her. But she had to be smart about it.

***

The only sound signaling the attack was the soft whistle of air. Dwayne came to life, swinging his arm to block the incoming blow. He rolled up, naked, and crouched on the corner of his bed and willed his eyes to adjust. But the first thing he realized wasn’t from sight. It was the soft feel of the bed’s mattress beneath his feet.

Bed. Not his rack.

The present came to him in a rush of sensations. His teeth were chattering so hard they actually hurt. His skin was covered in sweat, even though the room was cool. And his head pounded out a drumbeat the cast of
Stomp
would be proud of.

He ran a hand down his face, wiping sweat away and flicking it off. What the hell time was it, anyway? The place where his alarm clock normally sat was empty. A quick search showed the alarm clock—turned to static and on—behind the nightstand, with a good-sized dent in the wall behind it. The sudden sharp pain when he flexed his hand told the rest of the story. As his alarm went off, he’d mistaken the radio static for… something else.

God, this was ridiculous. Why was he acting like this? He hadn’t even been in the thick of combat. Guys who saw way more shit than he ever had came home without a problem. Hell, his first two deployments were way more action-packed and he’d walked away without a hitch.

So why now? And why, period?

He flexed his hand again and walked to the kitchen for an ibuprofen. Hopefully it would work double-time to clear the headache up and dull the pain in his hand. After chasing the pills with a glass of water, he did a quick calculation and realized his sister was probably feeding Suzanna her breakfast. He needed a little innocence, combined with the unconditional love and support of family, to clear the rest of the nightmarish fog out. Taking a chance, he gave her a call.

“Hello?”

She sounded tired, and it broke his heart a little. “Hey, Nat. How are things?”

“Dwayne, hey.” The pleasure in her voice spread, edging out the exhaustion. “What’s up?”

“Just was thinking of you guys, wanted to see how things are going.”

“They’re good.” A loud squeal penetrated through the phone and had Dwayne wincing. “Okay, baby, okay. Cheerios, coming right up.”

He heard the scatter of food hitting the plastic high chair tray and Suzanna’s delighted laugh and clap.

God, that sounded good. Normal sounds, familial sounds, comforting sounds. If things had gone differently, he knew Natalie would be exhausted because she was pregnant, and her husband would be off to work already, making enough to support the family and provide.

But instead, she was dogged out from two jobs and a toddler she handled alone.

“Natalie…” He paused. “I miss you guys.”

“We miss you too. Tell Uncle D how much we miss him.”

Babbling, which might or might not have been English, filled his ear. He grinned and made the appropriate sounds back at her. Damn, his niece was going to be a pistol when she could actually form real sentences.

“She’s so chatty in the mornings.” Natalie again. “I swear, the minute she picks up words I’m in trouble. Okay, honey, here are your eggs. Let mama help you.”

“I won’t keep you; I know you’re always rushed in the mornings.”

“Aw. So soon? I can give you my full attention; she’s preoccupied now with her milk cup. So what else is going on? How’s that girl you were thinking about?”

“Veronica.” He smiled a little at her name. “She’s good. Things are… progressing,” he decided was the best term. “You’d like her.”

“I’ll like her even more if she’s up for babysitting. Bring her with you next time you fly over. I’d love to meet her.”

“Yeah.” The idea held real appeal. “I’ll do that.”

“Bring any help you want. Hell, bring me a man with you.”

“A man?” He blinked. “You want a man?”

His sister laughed. “I’m not dead, I’m just a mom. You were the one who kept telling me to give up on Suzanna’s dad.”

“And you should.” But dating? His little sister? He got a chill just thinking about it.

Dwayne listened for a few more minutes while Natalie talked about Job Number One, which she hoped would earn her a promotion soon that would cancel out the need for Job Number Two. He shared her hope, then sent his love to both and hung up the phone.

The thought of his baby sis dating had done one thing… he wasn’t in a cold sweat from his dream any longer.

Dwayne grabbed a PowerBar out of the cabinet and a Gatorade to top it off. Breakfast of champions. What he wouldn’t give for Natalie’s breakfast right now. Scrambled eggs, some slobbery Cheerios, and a sweet, gummy face smiling at him from across the table.

Wow, where’d that come from? Time to back up. He tore open the wrapper and tossed the foil in the trash while he chewed the bar.

He was enjoying time with Veronica. She was sweet as can be, smart, funny when she let herself be, and now that she was more comfortable with him, things were starting to get red-hot. Though now that he thought about it, maybe he should slow down in that area. She struck him as a female who hadn’t had much experience in the bedroom. Maybe a few failed attempts as a teen—as most teenage attempts at lovemaking were dismal failures—and it’d scared her off. Maybe some college Joe Schmo Dickhead bungled her first time, treating her badly. She just needed some more time to ease into it.

But he needed time too. Time to get to know her better. He knew almost nothing of her background, nothing of her life outside their group and work. She didn’t like talking about it, or shied away from talking about herself. She was shy, yeah. But eventually they needed to dip into that area.

But there was time for that. Hell, he had another date with her tonight. Dinner, conversation, they’d get it sorted out. He had a feeling things could just hit the right mark with Miss Veronica.

***

“Do you want to come in?” Veronica held the door to her apartment open in invitation.

He wanted. He wanted very much. But when his day began by accidentally smashing his alarm clock against the wall, he wasn’t at all sure about whether coming in was the best option. He’d kept his date, like the chaplain suggested. Let his time with Veronica soothe away the most ragged edges of his fear and worry. But going in just didn’t seem right.

“No, I think—”

“Madison’s not home tonight. She’s working late, then heading to Jeremy’s.”

That was so not what he wanted to hear. But a man had only so much strength, and they’d been dating for way longer than he even imagined being able to hold out. So in the end, he had to believe if she thought the time was right, it was.

“Yeah.” Decision made, he nodded firmly. “Yeah, I’ll come in.”

“Good.” She shut the door behind him and left her bag on the table by the door. “Do you want something to drink? I know we have water, and Madison sometimes has beer in the fridge. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you had some.”

Dwayne watched as she twined her fingers together, untwined them, played with the zipper of her jacket. She was nervous. Was it from him? Worries about if he was getting better? Or something else?

He stepped up and covered her fingers with one of his hands. “Veronica.” He paused until she looked up at him. “We can just sit on the couch and watch a movie if you want. We don’t have to do anything.”

As the truth of that sank in, he watched the nerves flow out of her eyes, saw them heat with something new. Something entirely more welcome. Anticipation.

“No, I don’t think I want to watch a movie. I think I want… ”

“What?”

“You.” She breathed it, as if afraid someone could overhear her. But her hesitation was short-lived when she reached up on her toes and kissed him. Not one of their sweet, or even sensual, kisses on her front porch or by his truck. One that told him exactly what she wanted, and that she wasn’t going to wait any longer.

And if she wasn’t going to wait, who was he to try and make her?

She jolted as he gripped her ass with both hands, then melted against him. And when he hefted her up, she didn’t waste time in wrapping her legs around him. The position was perfect, his erection lying right against her sex, feeling the heat between both their jeans. God, he was already on fire and they were still fully dressed. If he survived this night, it’d be a miracle. Carrying her back, he paused at the end of the hall until she ripped her mouth away long enough to say, “Left.” Then she giggled and said, “No, other left. My left,” when he turned the wrong way.

“Right. Right. Got it.” Using her back to nudge the door open, he shut it again with his foot. Sure, they were alone. But who knew if Madison would be coming back early from wherever she was. That thought should have given him pause, should have made him put the brakes on the whole thing until he could take her back to his place, sans roommate. But he couldn’t stop now. Not with her little throaty sounds and total abandonment to pleasure in his arms. Not with her squeezing her legs around him, only bringing their pelvises more fully together, increasing that amazing friction.

Oh yeah. He was as likely to walk out the door now as he was to dance naked in Times Square on New Year’s Eve.

He toed off his shoes, all while still holding on to her, then let her control drop to the bed. He gave her no time to move, only came down on top and resumed right where they left off.

Kissing had always seemed so seventh grade to him. So unnecessary, now that he knew what else there was to the whole sex thing. But with Veronica, it was like discovering that fun all over again. Maybe because of her enthusiasm, maybe because of her, period. But something was new and bright and exciting with Veronica, every step of the way. And it soothed him even as it excited him.

She ground up into him, panting as she clawed his back to pull his polo from where he tucked it in. “Off. Please.”

“Slow down.” But he let her pull the shirt up and over his head anyway. The pants, though, those were staying on. He couldn’t take any chances and so he was going to keep as many barriers between them for as long as possible. Though her own top seemed a little unnecessary now that his was off. With her hands roaming the skin of his back, sending goose bumps up and down his spine, he lifted her shirt until he found the white, simple cotton bra that held two perfectly proportional breasts. The simplicity of her underwear was more exciting than something designed to rev his blood. And not waiting, he lifted the bottom of the elastic and took one nipple in his mouth.

“Oh my…” She gasped, as if she’d been dunked into a vat of ice-cold water, and arched into him. Not wanting to lose the friction, he ground down with his hips as he circled the tip of her breast with his tongue, flicked the nub, sucked it in deep. And changed his direction with his hips as he moved to her other breast.

“D… something’s… oh my…” Her body tensed, she scratched up his back and gripped his shoulders in a surprisingly strong vice, and then he felt her whole body tighten and release with the most shocking orgasm he’d ever witnessed.

Shocking for both of them, it seemed.

He raised his head and looked at her, mouth open. When was the last time a little dry humping had been enough? When he’d brought a woman so close that she’d jumped over the edge of orgasm?

Back in seventh grade, probably.

“Holy shit.”

Her eyes fluttered open, almost wild with confusion. But she didn’t say a word. Just reached out for him and brought him back to her lips.

“You okay, darlin’?”

“Mmm. More.”

Her hands reached for his belt, pushing in on his lower abdomen, and he had to roll off to get his shit together before he was the second one to lose it with their jeans still on. Christ, she undid him. He needed a breather. But looking back at her, sprawled over her bed with her shirt and bra under her chin, arms and legs limp like a rag doll, he knew the breather wasn’t even an option. He reached over to help her remove the shirt and bra, then worked his fingers on the button of her jeans. Kissing her neck, below her ear, her shoulder, he gave her ample opportunity to slow him down, to stop, to say she changed her mind.

She said nothing.

She was a matcher, he discovered. One of those women who matched their panties and their bra together. Normally, he found this was a hint that they would be one of those complicated females. But with her, the entire matching thing seemed to make more sense, like she just did it because it was the thing to do rather than because it mattered a whole lot.

With her pants completely off, he dipped one finger under the band of her panties to find her completely ready for him, no assembly required. She squirmed, twisting her body until her face was smushed into the nearest pillow, though whether that was coincidence or out of bashful instinct, he didn’t know. But he wouldn’t push. Instead he pulled the underwear down and shucked his own jeans off. Holding back at this point would just lead to more pain than necessary. There was delayed gratification, and then there was masochism.

“Dwayne?” She looked up, and he had a hard time placing the look in her eyes. It wasn’t fear, but it wasn’t exactly confidence either. He paused in reaching for his wallet in the back pocket of the jeans he’d just dropped.

“Yeah, darlin’?”
Please
don’t say stop. Please don’t say stop.

She bit her lip, then shook her head, fire overtaking the uncertainty in her eyes. “Nothing.”

He froze, waiting for her to take it back, but she didn’t. Careful with the rubber, he rolled it on and positioned himself over her. Her face said she was caught in the moment, but her body remained stiff as a board.

What kind of experience had she been through before to freak her out? What jackass had treated her badly before…? He clenched his teeth against the anger and forced it from his mind. For now anyway, his main concern was Veronica.

With soft kisses, he soothed the best he could. Supporting his body on one forearm, he used his other hand to smooth up and down her body, massaging a little. As her muscles relaxed under his touch, he nudged a little into her center. She tightened, and he started the process over again.

Her uptight posture made it all the more tight as he inched in. He gritted his teeth against the amazing pressure, and nudged one of her legs wider with his knee.

“Need just a little more room here, sweetheart.” He kissed her, continued kissing her, because he realized she wasn’t one to open her eyes during sex. Pity. But she loosened up a little and spread out wider for him, making the rest of his entry easier.

“Oh my…” Her eyes popped open, and it was like looking into a beautiful mist. She wiggled around a little, experimenting with how much range of motion she had. “That’s wonderful.”

Between the extra slap on the back to his ego and all her wiggling, he wasn’t going to last. Not at all. He kissed her again, hoping to distract her from her below-the-belt exploration, and pumped into her. With one hand he slid around her hip and found her clitoris, speeding her along as best he could.

The sound she made deep in her throat would have driven a saint to sin.

“God, forgive me.” He wasn’t going to be able to wait. Dammit. Praying she wouldn’t think he was a total jackass, he followed the rhythm his pounding blood sent him on and pushed into her over and over, still working her with his thumb and forefinger.

But just as he reached the point of no return, she clenched around him. Her mouth opened in a silent “O” and her eyes fluttered closed. She even came quietly, with dignity. No screams or thrashing around wildly for his woman. Just a contented smile that spread over her face and the constant pressure around his cock that told him he was out of the doghouse and could grab his own release without guilt.

And grab he did, until he couldn’t keep himself up any longer and collapsed next to her on the bed.

“That was fun.” She said it with such wonder.

“It usually is, when you do it right.” He immediately cursed himself for being an idiot. Way to make her think she’d been doing something wrong up to now…

But then again, he sort of thought he’d been doing it wrong, too. Nothing he’d ever experienced in the past had come close to what they’d just shared. So maybe it wasn’t so much about something wrong, but
someone
wrong. And then finding someone right.

He let that thought wind its way through his mind as Veronica curled up next to him and sighed into his neck like a sweet kitten ready for a nap.

***

Veronica woke to the sound of running water. She opened her eyes and saw nothing but darkness. Though the bed was still warm, Dwayne was gone. She sat up and glanced at her bedroom clock. 3:18 a.m. She breathed a sigh of relief. Still plenty of time left in the night… if he wanted to stay.

Pushing through the bedroom door, he appeared, silhouetted in the hallway light. He flipped it off and crawled back in bed, pulling her to him. She sighed and snuggled closer. This was something she had been missing out on. The idea that she could be intimate with a man, even without sex. The touch, the feel of another body close by. The actual act of making love was truly splendid—even the pain she’d read about had only been more of an uncomfortable pinch, then gone—but this. This was what she had truly craved.

He jostled her just a little as he settled further in the bed. “You know,” he said, voice rumbling in the dark, “we really need to do this at my place instead. This twin-sized bed? Not cutting it for my frame.”

She softly laughed and realized he was all but hanging off the mattress on all sides. No wonder, with as tall and broad as he was. “Sorry. I didn’t think that one through, did I?”

He squeezed her tighter. “No worries.” With one hand, he drew light circles down her arm, going up under her nightshirt—which he’d asked her not to wear but she’d insisted—and down to her wrist. With the other, he twirled a lock of her hair. Almost as an afterthought, he asked, “What made you decide you were ready?”

Did he know? Had it been so obvious she’d been a virgin? She fought to keep her breath even.

A twenty-six-year-old virgin wouldn’t exactly be what Dwayne was expecting. Much as she cared for him, she just wanted to have a bit more normal before she could explain her history. So she hedged. “Ready?”

“For us. You know.” He squeezed her hip a little. “I knew you weren’t the type to hop in the sack at the word go. Not that there’s anything wrong,” he added quickly when she sucked in a breath. “To be honest, I appreciated that more than you can probably understand. You know, with my issues. Time was a good thing.”