The One Left Behind (The One Series) (5 page)

“Colin, look, this is all a bit too much for me. I don’t know how to process all of this. I think we need to take a break so I can figure this all out. I’m not going to move in with you and I think it’s best if we give each other some space. I’m just so overwhelmed and I need to do what’s best for me right now. I think a little space will help my mind sort out all of this missing information.”

I can tell by the look in her eye that she’s not trying to be hurtful, but all I can do is just stare at her as I take in her words. She needs space? It’s then that I think of the worst possible outcome for the first time since the accident: what if her memory never comes back? Shit. That can’t happen. I need her in my life. I love her more than life itself. She has to get better. I just don’t see any other option for me.

I can’t meet her eyes for fear of breaking down as I say, “I understand. Call me if you need anything. I’m always here for you.” And with that, I walk out the door before my heart can break anymore.

I’M NOT EVEN sure what to make of that visit. The word awkward doesn’t even do it justice. Hearing Colin speak about all of his memories,
our
memories, was just overwhelming. I knew as he was asking me if I remembered certain memories that it was hurting him to have to remind me. I could see the pain in his eyes when I told him I needed space. I just couldn’t take it. It was too much, too soon. I did the only thing that felt right since the accident. I told him we needed to take a break. I wasn’t trying to hurt Colin in any way. I can see now that’s exactly what I did. The misery in his voice when he told me to call if I needed anything was enough to confirm it. I broke his heart. Maybe it wasn’t right to be so blunt about it. Maybe I could have eased into it better. I guess when I panic I tend to just spit things out and not sugar coat it. However, I need to do what is best for me, or else how do I ever expect to recover from all this?

I head toward the kitchen where my mom is making dinner and collapse into a chair at my kitchen table. “Smells great, Mom.”

Smiling at me, she places my favorite meal in front of me – penne with vodka sauce. “Eat up, dear. I’m sure you’re hungry after eating all that hospital food.”

I notice my mom set out two other plates, one for her and one for Colin I’m assuming.

“You can put one plate away. It’s just us.” I’m pushing my food around my plate and seem to have lost my appetite.

I look up from my plate and see a flash of disappointment in her face and I know this is going to be a long dinner.

“Where did Colin run off to?”

I brace myself for the dramatic side of my mom to come out as I begin to explain what had just happened. “He left. I told him I think it would be best to put our relationship on hold and that I wasn’t going to be moving in with him.” I lean back in my chair as my arms fall to my side feeling utterly exhausted from today’s events. What happens next is not what I expect at all. Especially from my mother.

“I’m sorry to hear that, I really am, and normally I wouldn’t meddle in your problems.” I shoot my mom an “are you kidding me” look. “Well, I do when I shouldn’t, but with that said, I think this is an appropriate time to meddle.”

“Mom, it’s never an appropriate time to meddle,” I say in a flat tone.

“Just hear me out. You don’t have to take my advice, but please just listen to it.” I nod my head as a sign for her to continue. “Colin is a good man. I know you may not remember that he loves you but he does. Everyone else, including me, can attest to the fact. I don’t think you should shut that poor boy out. What happened – the accident it’s just terrible and unfair. Unfair to both of you. I can understand and sympathize with you in this the situation. But, honey, you have to remember just because
you
don’t remember your feelings doesn’t mean his feelings for you have lessened. I’m not telling you to go move in with him and put that ring back on your finger, but I am asking you to at least try and be his friend. If you don’t feel comfortable giving him your heart right now then give him your friendship. Just please don’t shut him out. He doesn’t deserve that.”

I avert my eyes and look down at the table again. My mom was right. I feel horrible. I didn’t even ask if we could be friends. I just said we needed space and pretty much threw him out. That was unfair of me. My head starts to hurt and I need to clear it. There’s only one place I like to go to clear my head and that is the beach. I look at the clock on the wall. Seven thirty. Just enough time to catch a sunset.

“Mom, thanks for the advice and dinner, I really do appreciate both.” I put my elbows on the table and rest my head in my hands. My mom rubs her hand on my back comfortingly.

“No problem, Addison. I’m sure your father is starving by now, so if you don’t need anything else I’ll head out. Keep your chin up and don’t worry, everything will come back sooner or later.”

I hug my mom and walk her to the door thanking her again for all her help today. I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t ask for my mom’s advice. She may be overbearing at times but she’s a great mother and I’m lucky to have her. Closing the door behind her I take off my flip flops and head out my back door and down the patio steps to the beach. Why I would ever move out of this condo remains a mystery to me. I wonder why he wasn’t moving in with me.

The sun is about to set and it is just what I needed. No matter how ugly the world can be at times the sunset always remains beautiful. It’s tranquil and quiet, the only sound is the waves crashing on the beach. I get lost in my thoughts looking out at the ocean. I sit down and I feel something poking my leg in my pocket and reach in and pull out the diamond ring I was given back at the hospital. I totally forgot I still had it on me. Staring at the ring, I take in how stunning and elegant it is. It really is a nice ring and it looks like it would have cost Colin a fortune. It’s an antique-style ring with a hefty cushion-cut diamond in the center. I hold it between my thumb and index finger in both hands wiggling it back and forth allowing it to catch the last remaining light in the sky. The center diamond is surrounded by smaller diamonds which also go half way down the band on each side. You don’t go accepting gifts like this unless you truly love someone, right? Why can’t I remember him? If I loved him enough to be his wife, why is my brain blocking him out? I sigh in frustration and place the ring back in my pocket. The sound of a man’s voice stirs me from my thoughts.

“A penny for your thoughts?” he says.

I look around to see who this man is talking to. When I see no one is around me, I realize he is speaking to me. I look at him for a minute and immediately appreciate his attractiveness. His dark hair is slicked back indicating he just got out of the water. My eyes travel over his face and take note of his chiseled jaw that has a light stubble, his full lips, and his perfectly straight nose. He’s shirtless and there is no doubt in my mind that he works out. A lot. He has a body to die for: sculpted pecs, well-defined abs, and the sexiest V-cut that leads into his board shorts. I’m staring at the water dripping down his chest and suddenly feel thirsty and have the urge to lick up the water off his body to quench said thirst.

Whoa, where the hell did that come from? I need to get my head out of the gutter. I have more important things to think about than Mr. Sex on Legs. I don’t need one more thing to add to my clusterfuck of issues right now.

He clears his throat and is looking down at me in amusement as he watches me shamelessly ogle his body. I clear my head and mentally chastise myself, “Sorry, but believe me, if you give me a penny and I spill my current situation, you will be asking for a refund.”

He lightly chuckles at my response and it’s a nice sound that makes me relax and gives me the first genuine smile since I woke up in the hospital. I don’t know why, but I feel like I can talk to this person. He has a kindness in his eyes that makes me feel secure in sharing my problems with him. And feeling something at this point makes me happy.

“I’m Addison, Addison Ramsey.”

He takes my hand and returns the gesture. “Pierce Whitmore. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Addison. It’s a good thing you don’t charge by the hour since you haven’t started talking yet.” He points to the penny in my hand with an alluring grin as I look slightly confused. “I only have so many pennies in my pocket, but if you need more I could always run to my car.” I like that he’s teasing me and it provides me with a much needed distraction.

“Oh, right. My thoughts. Are you sure you want to hear about my problems? You don’t even know me. You will probably run for the hills afterward.”

“Well, I can’t make you talk to me, but I’ve been told I’m a good listener. I’ll even let you keep the penny if I decide to run for the hills.” He sits down next to me and waits patiently for me to start my story. I don’t know why, but he puts off this vibe that I can trust him. So I take a deep breath and decide to unload my problems on him.

“Okay, but if at any time you get bored, tell me and I’ll stop.” I’m fidgeting with my hands and avoiding eye contact.

He gently puts his hand on top of mine to still them before saying, “Addison, I have a feeling nothing about you is boring.” He has a serious look on his face as he stares into my eyes which makes me pause for a moment. He doesn’t know me. How would he know if I’m boring or not? Is he flirting with me? I shake off the questions and start.

“Well, about two weeks ago I woke up in the hospital. Apparently, a drunk driver hit the car I was in and the car flipped over three times.” I pause because a haunted look takes over Pierce’s face. He looks far away like he’s zoned out. Maybe I shouldn’t be unloading my problems to a total stranger. I take the penny and place it in Pierce’s hand and get up to walk away.

“Wait,” Pierce says as he gently places his hand on my arm. “I’m sorry. Here I am telling you how I’m a great listener and I space out on you not even a minute later.” His eyes have changed and no longer look distracted. He’s completely focused on my face, pleading for me to continue.

Smiling, I say, “It’s okay, Pierce, I shouldn’t be talking about my problems to someone I don’t know. It was stupid. I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.” I look down at the ground, kicking my foot into the sand slightly embarrassed for thinking I should open up to him.

Pierce still has a hold of my wrist and I look down at it hoping he’ll get the hint and let go so I can walk back home. Mortified, of course.

Pierce takes hold of my hand, turning it palm up and places the penny in it. He wraps my fingers around the penny and continues to hold my hand. “Addison, I stopped to talk to you on the beach because you had a lost look in your eyes. One I’ve seen many times on my face before. I can see you are hurting and struggling with something. So please, let me help by listening.” There’s a brief pause but it looks like he wants to say more, so I wait for him to finish his thought. “My father died about six months ago. He was hit by a drunk driver and killed. It’s still a fresh wound so I’m sorry for spacing out on you.” My face becomes void of expression as my eyes slowly widen. I can’t imagine losing my parents like that. “If you don’t mind, I’d like it very much if you continued,” he says softly.

I take a minute to think if I should. I mean here I am about to bitch about my problems when he lost his father in a car accident. Suddenly, my problems don’t seem that big in the grand scheme of things. “I don’t know, Pierce.”

“I insist.”

I look down at our joined hands and I sit back down beside him. “Okay, so after the accident I was taken to the hospital. I woke up not remembering what happened to me. I had very bad head injuries that caused bleeding in my brain. There was a lot of swelling and I was put into a sedated sleep until the swelling went down. Then I woke up.” I shrug my shoulders preparing to tell the rest of my story.

“Well, it sounds to me like you’re lucky to be alive. So forgive me if I sound rude, but what has you so bothered? You survived and you look healthy to me.” He’s looking at me with his eyebrows drawn in trying to piece me together.

“Ah, here is where it gets complicated. When I woke up, I couldn’t remember anything about the accident. I still can’t remember anything. I think I’m okay with that because, if I have to be honest, I don’t want to remember being T-boned and rolling in a car. What I do have a problem with is this.” I pull the engagement ring out of my pocket and hand it to Pierce. He looks at the ring with one eyebrow raised.

“Now I don’t know much about jewelry, but this looks like an engagement ring. A nice one too. My sister is always going on about how big a ring is supposed to be. I tell her it’s not about the size, but the thought put behind it. You know, like it should suit the personality of the hand it’s supposed to go on.” He pauses before saying, “Sorry, I’m rambling. Anyways, what’s so bad about it?” He hands the ring back to me.

“Well, nothing technically. It’s a beautiful ring. The only problem is I don’t remember the person who put that ring on my finger. I can’t remember meeting him, dating him, him proposing. Nothing.” I’m looking down at my hands as the reality of it hits me in the stomach again. I look at Pierce from the corner of my eye and see his eyes widen and his mouth form an “o” as what I’ve told him sinks in.