The One That Got Away (2 page)

It had been a strange day, tinged with
sadness and despite the excitement that we all felt at moving on we
were sad to lose what we all had together.

When we arrived the party was in full swing.
There was lots of alcohol and we soon found ourselves carried away
by the music and the atmosphere. I saw Ben who was well and truly
hammered. He appeared to be snogging every girl that moved which
surprised me as I had never seen him like that before.and I felt
disappointed. Part of me had hoped that we would get together that
night, but watching his behaviour unfold I realised that it was
unlikely.

Despite all of this I had a good time with my
friends and it was soon time for the taxi home.

I waited in
the hallway for Julie to come back with our coats when suddenly Ben
appeared. I still remember it now as clearly as if it happened
yesterday. Our eyes met and there was silence. He stepped towards
me and there was a sense of urgency about him. I couldn’t look away
and he held my gaze looking at me with such intensity that it
almost took my breath away. He moved towards me quickly and pulled
me towards him roughly, pushing me back against the wall. His eyes
bored into mine and he leaned towards me holding my head in place
and then he kissed me. It was passionate and deep and to this day
was the most intense and passionate kiss that I have ever
had.

The lift doors open and the present comes
flooding back. My eyes mist over at the thought of the kiss.

As I head
towards my office I can still feel the imprint of his lips on mine
and the feeling of desire that it lit within me. I feel like crying
at the memory of the feeling of desolation that I felt
afterwards.

It never led anywhere. Julie came rushing up
with our coats and he pulled away. We didn’t speak and she pulled
me out of the door to the waiting taxi. She was laughing and was
very excited at the thought that Ben and I were getting together at
last. As I looked back though, I realised with a sinking feeling
that this would not be the case. I saw his dejected figure sitting
on the wall with his head in his hands. That was the last I saw of
him until two years later.

I had been invited to a school friends 18th
Birthday Party. She was in the year below me so I must have been
about 19 at the time. My date was Georgio, my Italian Stallion as I
called him. We had a wild and passionate fling and enjoyed
ourselves to the max whenever we could.

As soon as we arrived we were surrounded by
past friends from School. Then I saw him. My eyes must have widened
with shock and I was rendered speechless. He looked at me again
with the same intensity before he appeared to shake himself and
kissed me in a greeting. I mumbled in return and then was aware
that he was with another girl from my school. I don't know why but
it shocked me as I had never seen him with a girlfriend before and
it struck me how similar in appearance we were.

Georgio
pulled me away to dance and proceeded to fling me around the dance
floor unceremoniously. At one point in the night I saw Ben’s
girlfriend looking at me with a hard expression on her face which
unsettled me. I felt awkward around them and wanted the evening to
end.

As we walked out Ben appeared and said
goodbye, once again looking at me with that intense expression that
I was beginning to associate with him. Again I felt awkward and
almost couldn’t look at him as I said my goodbyes.

I felt
strangely subdued which wasn’t helped by Georgio saying that Ben
fancied me. It shocked me and I snapped back at him saying that he
was mistaken. Even now to this day I remember every expression and
feeling created from those two occasions and I often wondered what
might have been. I had almost forgotten it until it all came
flooding back to me in the two minutes that I met him again
upstairs.

By now I have reached my office which I share
with my assistant April. She is already busy working away, tapping
on her computer keyboard as if her life depended on it. As I come
in she looks up with a serious expression. “I don’t know how on
earth I am going to carry on with the uncertainty hanging over me,”
she says with a grim tone. “Listen April, don’t worry about it, I
am sure it will all work out.” I say it brightly, although secretly
I share her worry, but it won’t do either of us any good to dwell
on what ifs and maybes. “Let’s just concentrate on the job in hand.
Is Michael here yet?”

Michael is the first Rep of the day, he sells
me cookware and I am looking forward to a distraction from the doom
and gloom that is surrounding us. April nods. “Yes, he’s waiting in
the department.” I head back outside and make my way down to see
him.

The morning passes by quite quickly and soon
it is time for my lunch date with Nathan. This cheers me up as I
still can’t quite believe that we are engaged. We have decided not
to tell anyone yet until we announce it to our parents at my
sister’s birthday party next week. Luckily our families get on and
always include each other in any get togethers or celebrations, so
everyone will be there for our big announcement. I am actually
quite enjoying it being our little secret for now and feel a shiver
of excitement as I grab my bag from my locker and head off
downstairs to the staff entrance to meet him.

Nathan is already waiting for me, lounging
against the wall playing with his phone. As soon as he sees me his
face lights up and he smiles devilishly. “My beautiful Bella, the
thought of our date has kept me going through this hellish morning.
I laugh at him. “You idiot Nathan, I bet you haven’t thought of me
once, I know that your first love is your computer and I know my
place.”

He ruffles my
hair playfully and taking my hand he pulls me along towards our
favourite lunchtime haunt.

Once we are settled at a table in our
favourite café and have placed our order, he takes both of my hands
in his. “Bella darling, the sooner we choose a ring the better as I
want the world to know that you are mine.” I can't help but laugh
at him as he is always so melodramatic.

Suddenly
though he looks more serious and says, “No really, I want us to go
ring shopping as soon as possible. How about Friday? We both have
it off as we are working on Saturday so it would be perfect.
Suddenly I am excited. “Ok, I would love to, only if you’re sure
though, I mean what if we lose our jobs? It’s an expense that we
could postpone until we know for sure.” Nathan reaches over and
strokes my face gently.

“
I won’t hear
of it, I love you and nothing is going to interfere with that.” My
eyes fill with tears. He is so lovely and I love him very much. He
leans over and gently kisses me on my lips. As he draws away he
holds my gaze and says, “Come home with me after work. I want you
with me again tonight. In fact just move everything in, never go
home again.” I laugh but then have to say regretfully, “Sorry
honey, Phoebe has arranged for us to go to the cinema. She has been
banging on for weeks about the latest film with George Clooney in
and I can’t disappoint her.” Nathan sighs. “Ok break my heart then.
I’ll just have to go to football practice instead.”

Nathan is obsessed with football. He plays
for a local team and is busy with matches most Sundays. Luckily for
him he gets most weekends off, unlike me who has to work 3 in every
4. I grin at him. “I’m sure you will get over it. Once those
football boots are on you’ll forget all about me.” Nathan winks and
we laugh.

As we head back to work we walk hand in hand
along the street. I feel so happy with Nathan. He is good fun and
easy to get along with, as well as being gorgeous looking in a
rugged way. He has brown hair and blue eyes that twinkle when he
smiles - which is often as he is quite the joker. You have to have
your wits about you when he is around as he is fond of practical
jokes and practices them as often as possible.

All too soon we are back and heading back to
our departments and once again I feel the pressure coming back to
me.

As I push open the office door April looks up
with a frown. “Bella there you are. Bob called down to see if you
could go up to his office when you get back. It sounded quite
urgent.” She looks at me with worry etched on her face. “I hope
that everything’s ok; you will tell me if its bad news won’t you?”
I smile at her with a confidence that I don’t feel inside. “Oh it’s
probably nothing. I’ll let you know. My next rep is in at 3pm so
I’ll be back by then.”

Once again I head off back up to Bob’s office
.and for some reason I can’t quite shake this uneasy feeling that I
have and hope that it’s nothing.

As I reach Bob’s office I take a deep breath
and knock on the door. I hear Bob say “Come in.” and as I push the
door open I see Bob sitting at his desk and my heart flips as I
notice Ben sitting across from him. Our eyes meet and he looks at
me with amusement.

Bob smiles. “Ah Bella, there you are. I
understand that you know Ben already?” I smile weakly at him. “Yes,
hello again.” Ben looks at me as though studying me and I notice a
small smile playing around his lips. Watching him I can tell that
he is obviously enjoying every minute of this. He can probably tell
that I feel awkward and uncomfortable.

“
Right then,
good,” Bob says briskly. “Ben would like a tour of the store and
has requested that you show him around, I will let you fill him in
on how it all works here and then when you have finished you can
carry on with your work.”

I look between them and feel strangely
flustered. I am not sure why I feel so confused, I mean surely I
should feel pleased to spend time with an old friend. The trouble
is I just can’t get that kiss out of my mind. It was ten years ago
but I feel as if it has only just happened, so vivid is the memory.
I look at Ben who is studying my reaction with an amused
expression. He probably can’t even remember it he was so drunk. I
must get a grip and leave it firmly in the past.

I smile at them both. “Great, no problem.
Follow me Ben.” Ben heads outside the office with me and as we walk
down the corridor I look at him and smile. “Right, where to first?”
Ben gives me a half smile and looks firmly into my eyes, “I was
thinking that the warehouse would be a good place to start.” He
looks at me with a grin and I can’t help myself and laugh. “Of
course, where else.”

I decide to avoid the lift as I feel that we
need to keep on walking, I don’t want there to be any awkward
silences so I rattle on. “I can’t believe that you are the new
owner. You have certainly come on since Cunningham’s.” He laughs.
“Yes you could say that. But what about you Bella, what is going on
in your life these days?”

I don’t know
why, it seems like an innocent question but I don’t want to tell
him about my life and Nathan which surprises me. Why don’t I want
him to know that I am engaged? I shrug my shoulders. “Oh you know,
the usual work mainly.”

He carries on
gently probing. “Are you married with kids yet?” I flush and can’t
look at him. “No, not yet, what about you?” I feel as though I am
holding my breath waiting for his reply, why does it matter to me?
“No, not yet.” I look at him and we both grin at each other. The
years just melt away and it is like we are back at Cunningham’s,
heading off to the warehouse to do our shift.

We soon reach it and it feels like familiar
territory to us both. I introduce him to Kevin, the warehouse
manager who is a nice guy. As I follow them around he shows Ben how
everything works and I use this distraction to study him
properly.

He appears to have aged well and. his dark
hair is thick and cut in quite a trendy style. His suit looks
expensive and his aftershave is pleasant. He looks well groomed and
his physique looks like he works out. I can see the remains of a
tan, obviously the remnants of a foreign holiday as our summer has
been dreadful. I wonder what his life is like now. He must have
come into some money to be able to afford the various stores that
he has been buying. Perhaps it’s his family business. I never did
meet them or find out what his parents did.

It doesn't take long and Kevin finishes his
tour and then we carry on past the rows of boxes and parcels back
down the corridor. “Where to now?” I say brightly. Suddenly he
stops and faces me. “You know what Bella; I think that I would
really like to go to the IT department.”

As he says it he raises his eyes at me and an
expression that I can’t quite place flashes across his face. I feel
taken aback and hope that he can't see the shock on my face.
Looking down to hide my expression I can feel a flush creeping over
it. Why did he ask to go there? The way he said it seemed so
pointed with a hidden meaning. Slowly I look up at him but his
expression is blank and I feel stupid. As if there is anything in
the request other than a business need.

I nod and
lead him through the double doors and towards the stairs. Suddenly
he stops and with an amused grin says, “Bella, do you think that I
need the exercise, what’s wrong with taking the lift?” He gestures
to an empty lift in front of us and once again I flush with
embarrassment as I follow him inside.

I press the
button for the 4th floor and the doors close. We stand there next
to each other and there is an awkward silence. He however appears
to be enjoying my discomfort and says nothing and just looks at me
with the same amused look on his face.

The lift stops at the 1st floor and a group
of customers get in. One lady has a buggy so we all have to shift
across to accommodate it. I feel his hand brush against mine as we
are forced together and it is like a spark of electricity hitting
me. He shifts closer so that we are touching, still side by side. I
can’t see his face but the silence is deafening. It is as though
the other people aren’t there. All I am aware of is his close
proximity to me, his hand occasionally brushing against mine and
the feel of him very much invading my personal space.