The One That Got Away (8 page)

As we turn into Marsden Grange, I am feeling
quite excited. We are staying in a lodge that looked fantastic when
I Googled it. Ben and Nathan jump out at the Reception and are soon
back with the keys and directions to our Lodge.

We soon find it and all pile out and take a
good look at what will be our home for the weekend. Nathan puts his
arm around me and squeezes my shoulder. I can tell that he is
excited as this is all right up his street.

We go inside and I find to my surprise that
it is really luxurious. There is a gorgeous living room with comfy
settees and a log burner in the corner. Bi fold doors lead out onto
a balcony that houses a hot tub and more comfy seating. Melissa
goes running around looking in every room and soon bags a gorgeous
bedroom with the most massive bed dominating it, looking out over
the lake. The second room is equally impressive but doesn’t have as
good a view.

Even though it is dark outside there are many
lights in the trees lighting up the woodland and it creates a
really romantic atmosphere. There is also a modern kitchen which
has a welcome pack residing on the work top. Melissa takes charge.
“Come on Ben, you crack open the wine and we can go and unpack.”
Ben looks at her fondly and she kisses him and then races off to
her room.

Nathan grabs
hold of my arm and looks at Ben apologetically. “Sorry Ben, I must
give Bella a hand,” and then winks at me as he pulls me off into
our room. As soon as the door closes he grabs hold of me and throws
me onto the bed. “God I’ve missed you so much,” he growls and
kisses me passionately. Before we can even come up for air we hear
Melissa calling, “Come on you two, the drinks are ready and we need
a hand with the wood burner.”

Ruefully Nathan pulls away and we go to find
them wishing that we could just stay in our room.

Ben has opened the wine and found some crisps
and nuts and put them into bowls and we sit down on the comfy
settees ready to chill out.

Nathan looks at the wood burner and typically
decides that he needs to light it. Not having any experience of
these things he spends some time messing around with it. All of the
things necessary to get it going are nearby but he can’t appear to
get it to light. We all tease him and he is getting more and more
angrier with it.

Melissa thinks it’s hilarious and pushes him
away. “Move over Nathan, let a professional take over.”

Nathan pretends to be offended and says,
“Come on then, show me how it’s done.” Ben and I laugh as
effortlessly she has it lit and roaring away within 10 minutes. She
dusts off her hands theatrically and high fives me as she goes
past. “Girl power, hey Bella. Where would they be without us to
look after them?”

We all think it’s hilarious and Nathan takes
the teasing with good grace. I sit cuddling up to Nathan and
Melissa puts her feet up on Ben as she lies on the settee. I notice
that he runs his hands up and down her legs and they share many an
intimate look.

We find a CD player and Ben grabs one of his
from the car and we spend a peaceful hour just chilling out
drinking wine and generally chatting. Soon I feel my eyes start to
close and Nathan seizes his chance. “Come on Bella, you look done
in. Let’s get off to bed. Excuse us guys, sleep well and we’ll see
you in the morning.” He pulls me up and I say goodnight to them
both.

We are both glad to be in our room and
collapse on to the bed and waste no time at all in making the most
of our time together and soon Nathan is sleeping soundly beside me.
As I snuggle up to him I realise how much I miss this. It’s not the
same having a snatched few hours every weekend. We used to have
several nights a week together and I hope that this project soon
finishes and we can get back to normal.

I must have drifted off because I wake up
needing the toilet and it seems to be the middle of the night.
Nathan is snoring away beside me oblivious to everything and I
quietly use the toilet and then think that I will go and get a
drink of water. I pull my sweatshirt over my pyjama bottoms and
make my way to the kitchen trying to be as quiet as I can as I
don’t want to wake anyone up.

However as I open our bedroom door I can see
that there is a lamp on in the living area. Maybe somebody forgot
to turn it off so I make my way in there.

Suddenly I see Ben standing over by the bi
fold doors looking out. He turns and sees me coming and puts his
finger up to his mouth to silence me and beckons me over. Feeling
curious I join him and he points outside. I can just about make out
two badgers in the lamplight outside and look at Ben and grin with
excitement.

He gestures for me to follow him and makes
his way to the door. Still in silence he grabs our coats from the
stand and puts mine around my shoulders.

Taking hold of my hand he leads me silently
outside slowly and carefully. I follow him closely and we follow
the shadows to get nearer to the badgers. He crouches down and
pulls me beside him. Despite the chilly temperature we stay there
mesmerised by the badgers and their nocturnal duties. He smiles at
me and squeezes my hand which he appears to have forgotten to let
go.

We must have been crouching here for about
ten minutes when the badgers wander off back into the darkness. I
am so excited. I have never seen a badger before and it was
amazing.

Ben pulls me up and I shiver, the temperature
suddenly affecting me. He puts his arm around me for warmth and
whispers, “Did you enjoy that Bella?” I smile happily and grin. “I
loved it. I just wish that I had my camera.” He looks down at me
still holding me close and I am once again struck by the intense
expression in his eyes.”

“
You don’t
need a photograph Bella; it is all stored in your memory. You will
always remember it. Something will trigger it again one day but if
it is important to you it will always remain.”

Somehow his words take on a broader meaning
and I look at his intense expression realising that he is right. As
soon as I saw him that day my memories came flooding back as if
they were yesterday. I wonder if he had the same ones but feel
afraid to ask and stir up the past.

Still we don’t move, despite the fact that
there is nothing keeping us outside. I feel the warmth from his
body as he holds me and feel him tense against me. Once again I
feel totally out of control of myself and just yearn for him to
hold me against him and feel his lips on mine again. Looking up
into his eyes I see a flicker of emotion pass across his face and
then it is gone, almost making me feel as though I have imagined
it.

All of a sudden his face tightens and he
lowers his eyes. “Come on lets get you inside before you catch your
death.” Fighting back a feeling of disappointment I follow him
inside and notice that the log fire is still crackling away.

The warmth from the room is extremely
welcoming and as we get inside he says, “Come on. I’ll make you a
hot chocolate to warm you up.” He pushes a seat up to the fire and
gestures for me to sit down. He then grabs a nearby blanket and
wraps it around me. I watch him making the drinks and feel as
though we are in our own little world.

Looking around I can see that he has been
working as there are papers everywhere and his laptop is on. He
brings the drinks over and pulls another seat up to the fire.
Taking the hot steaming mug from his hands gratefully I gesture
towards it all. “Couldn’t you sleep Ben? It looks as if you have
been working.” He smiles at me ruefully. “I can never sleep in a
strange place. I find that I can get a lot done at night.” I smile.
“But the badgers distracted you.” He looks at me with an earnest
expression and says, “Yes they did, but then again they weren’t the
only ones.” I feel myself flushing again and can’t look away.

We sit there staring at each other, the
crackling glow of the fire adding drama to the already tense
atmosphere. I feel that I could sit here all night but the warmth
finally gets to me and I can feel my eyes closing. Ben takes the
empty mug from my hand and pulls me up once again. “Go and get some
sleep Bella. You look tired and I don’t want to spoil your day
tomorrow.” Looking at him I feel disappointed to break the cosy
bubble that we have created. I say quietly, “You too Ben, you also
need some sleep. The work will still be there tomorrow.”

He pushes his fingers through his hair and
nods. I watch as he makes his way back to his room and suddenly
feel intensely jealous of Melissa waiting for him. I think of
Nathan and once again feel as though I have betrayed him, but for
some reason it is Ben not Nathan who I wish that I was waking up
with in the morning.

Chapter 10

I wake up and the room is filled with light.
The events of the night before come flooding back and guiltily I
look over at Nathan. However the bed is empty and he is gone. I sit
up quickly panicking that somehow he knows what I was feeling.

Jumping out of bed I head out of the room. It
is empty and the fire has grown cold. Looking at the clock on the
wall I notice that it is 10am. Goodness, I have slept in really
late. I wonder where everyone is.

I look outside the window but there is still
nobody around. Then I hear the door open and see Ben coming in from
outside, already dressed and ready and carrying a bag of what
appears to be groceries.

He sees my confusion and laughs. “Morning
sleepyhead. Are you ready for breakfast? I have bought some bacon
and eggs and fresh bread from the site shop.”

I look around me by now completely confused
as to what is going on. Seeing this he decides to put me out of my
misery. “The others have gone for a jog. I said that I would make
breakfast and that if you showed yourself you could help me.”

He puts the groceries on the side. “Do you
want a coffee?” I nod still taking it all in. I finally find my
voice and say, “I’m sorry, I’ll just get changed and come back to
help.” He nods and I race back to our room and change into jeans
and a jumper and pull my hair back into a ponytail. As soon as I
get back he puts a steaming mug of coffee in front of me and a
slice of hot buttery toast. “Eat up, they may be ages yet.”

I do as he says and he beckons me over to the
settee and we sit there side by side looking out over the forest.
“Did the others say anything,” I ask him wondering if they know
about our night time rendezvous. He smiles wickedly at me his
expression teasing me as he notices my guilty expression. “No they
didn’t mention anything; I will leave it up to you to tell them if
you want.” I blush as he makes it sound as though we were up to no
good, but then again I suppose in my mind I was.

I notice that the work from last night has
gone which I am glad about. I say to him, “You know what Ben, these
breaks are meant to be a chance for you to forget about work for a
while. You should take the time to relax and re charge your
batteries.” He looks at me with a solemn expression, “I find it
difficult to relax. That is probably why Melissa wanted the
company. I wouldn’t have gone jogging with her and she would be so
bored with just my company.” I smile at him reassuringly. “You
underestimate yourself. You are great company and you should let
her distract you away from work a bit more. You might actually
enjoy it.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Perhaps.” Before he can add
anything the door flies open and Melissa and Nathan fall panting
into the room laughing. “I win,” says Melissa, laughing
uncontrollably. Nathan pretends to push her and laughs. “Only
because I let you.” Looking at them both obviously having such a
great time I feel a pang of discontent. I don’t like the fact that
they are obviously becoming good friends and I don’t know why.

Seeing me sitting there Melissa smiles.
“Bella, you’re up. Did you sleep well and has Ben been looking
after you?” I smile at her warmly. “Yes thank you, did you sleep
well?” “Out like a light. Obviously the fresh air agrees with
me.”

Nathan rushes over and lifts me up like a rag
doll. “Bella, baby, come and have a shower with me.” I stiffen
feeling embarrassed. Melissa laughs and as I look at Ben he looks
away. “Put me down Nathan, you can shower on your own. We’ve got
the breakfast to make.” Nathan pretends to be upset and says
petulantly, “Spoilsport,” and then heads off to our room.

Melissa also goes off for a shower leaving
Ben and I once again alone. He stands up and I feel that he looks
relieved but then again his expression changes and he says, “Come
on then. It looks like we’re the chefs.” Ben appears quite the
accomplished chef and has soon rustled up plates of eggs and bacon
with fresh toast.

We all sit around the table and decide what
to do that day. Nathan wants to go hiking which Melissa definitely
doesn’t want to do as she wants to check out the local town. Ben
looks at me. “What about you Bella? Do you have any preference?” I
shake my head. “I’ll just go with what the majority want.” Nathan
looks annoyed. “Oh for goodness sake Bella, don’t be such a
doormat. There must be something you want to do.” There is an
awkward silence and Melissa looks down at the table and I blush
feeling embarrassed. Ben looks really angry and Nathan just laughs
it off as though he was joking. “What?” he says laughing, “You know
I’m only joking don’t you baby?” and he ruffles my hair playfully.
“I smile weakly at him. “You’re such an idiot Nathan, of course you
are joking - at least you better had been.” The others laugh
politely but I stand up and start clearing away the dishes. “Come
on Nathan, let’s wash up. It’s the least we can do after Ben did
the cooking.”

Reluctantly Nathan helps me; he has always
hated domestic chores, but obviously doesn’t feel that he can get
out of it. Out of earshot of the others he whispers, “Sorry Bella,
I didn’t mean that to come out the way it did,” and he looks
sheepishly at me. I smile and brush it off but inside I feel really
annoyed. For some reason things just seem all out of sync this
weekend and I am not sure if it is just me and my feelings or if
Nathan feels it too.