The One That Got Away (22 page)

One by one the others start to drift home and
soon it is just Phoebe, Camilla and myself left and we decide to
head home.

We ring for a cab to take us back to our flat
and grab our coats from the cloakroom. Stepping over fallen
teenagers and pushing past snogging couples we make our way
outside. We look around for the cab and I can’t believe it when I
see Ben waiting for us. He is leaning against his car door looking
incredibly sexy. He looks at me and the look that he gives me makes
my insides melt with desire. I grab Phoebe and Camilla and say,
“Look, Ben’s here to give us a lift.”

“
Who, What?”
says Camilla, squinting as she looks over to him. “Good God, is
that him?” she says loudly, “Did I die and go to heaven in there?
Can I sit in the front?” We laugh at her and she races over to and
falls onto him. “Darling, have you ever wanted a threesome? If you
have tonight’s your lucky night.” He laughs and raises his eyes up.
I have to admit that even though I have drunk rather a lot he is
looking incredibly hot. Even Phoebe can’t take her eyes off him. He
holds open the door and helps Camilla inside. She flashes rather a
lot of her assets to him as she gets in and I giggle to see him
trying to hold in a laugh. Phoebe clambers around to the other side
and jumps in, collapsing against the headrest. He opens my door and
as I get in he brushes his hand against me. My body quivers at his
touch and I can see that he knows the effect he is having on me. As
I sit down he leans over me and pulls the seatbelt tightly around
me. I can smell him as he lingers over the straps and he brushes my
hair out of the way with his fingers, running them down around the
straps, stroking my breast as he moves down. I am holding my breath
and I am so turned on.

Camilla and Phoebe are both collapsed in a
heap and he looks at me, his eyes smouldering. He pulls away and my
body screams out in anguish. He grins at me, his eyes full of
promise and goes around the other side and gets in to the drivers
seat. He puts on a classical CD and we start the journey back to my
flat. The atmosphere is charged with sexual tension and I lean back
listening to the seductive sounds of the music and imagine Ben and
I making love to it.

We are soon back at the flat and I nudge the
two in the back awake. “We’re home Phoebs, Camilla.” I say shaking
them awake. Bleary eyed they stagger from the car. Ben looks at me
with amusement as I stay sitting and says, “Here you are then
Bella, sleep well.” I look at him in surprise. “But I thought…” I
say in confusion. He grins and says, “You thought what exactly?”
Then I realise that this is his punishment that he promised me. God
he’s good, he knows what effect he has on me and this is certainly
the worst punishment he could give me.

I get out of the car slowly and stand in
front of him. Looking up at him seductively I tilt my head to one
side. I reach out and tuck an imaginary piece of his hair behind
his ear, making sure that my touch is light. I see his body tense
and his eyes darken. Reaching up I gently kiss his lips and
whisper, “Thank you Ben, drive home safely won’t you.” I run my
fingers down the front of his chest and walk away to join my
giggling friends. I can feel him watching us as we go inside and
even though I know that I have paid him back I feel as though I am
the one who has lost out.

Chapter 30

We all wake up with terrific hangovers the
next day. I lay on the settee in my pyjamas for most of the day.
Camilla goes home at around midday and Boris arrives about 2pm and
offers to take us out for lunch. “Did you have your stag night last
night?” I ask him as he plops down on the sofa. He nods and says,
“Yes, a few of us went Go Karting and then for an Indian. We didn’t
go to a club though like you girls, we just went back to mine and
played cards.” I laugh at him and say, “Well judging by how we both
feel I think that you made the right decision.”

Phoebe comes in after getting ready and says,
“Come on B, get dressed and we will take you for lunch.” I shake my
head and say, “No it’s alright, you two go, I’m happy here
thanks.”

“
Well if
you’re sure.” Phoebe says, pulling Boris up. “Do you want us to
bring anything back for you?” she says smiling at me. Shaking my
head I say, “No thanks, I’m sure there’s something here I can have
if I get hungry. “Well if you’re sure, bye Bella.” I wave them off
and snuggle down in front of the TV. I am looking forward to my
afternoon of laziness. After about an hour there is a knock on the
door. I pause the DVD and get up to answer it. I am not expecting
anyone and know it can’t be Ben because he texted me to say he
couldn’t see me today as he had to travel up to Leeds for a meeting
in the morning.

As I answer the door I am very surprised to
see Nathan standing there and I look at him in surprise. “Hi
Bella,” he says smiling at me; looking like nothing had happened
and it wasn’t unusual for him to be here. “Hi Nathan, um what do
you want?” I say not quite sure what to do. I mean should I invite
him in or just keep him standing there? I decide that I had better
invite him in, even though it feels awkward.

He looks at me and with a small smile he
indicates for me to ask him in. I open the door to let him through
and watch as he takes a seat on the settee. I don’t want to offer
him a drink as I just want him to say what he has come to say and
then go. I am aware that I am still in my pyjamas and look a total
mess, not that it matters what he thinks of me now. I sit on the
chair on the other side of the room and his smile falters as he
notices that I distance myself from him. He runs his fingers
through his hair and says, “I’m sorry Bella. I know that it is
weird me just turning up here out of the blue but I had to see
you.”

I say, “Why, I thought that everything had
been said already.” He shakes his head and looks at me with an
angry expression. “The last time we spoke your boyfriend warned me
off.” He says boyfriend in a sarcastic way which automatically gets
my back up. He carries on. “You never explained anything to me and
I had to keep away. I think that you at least owe me an
explanation. After all I have kept my side of the bargain and told
nobody about the two of you and kept away.” His face is set in a
tight expression and I can feel my rage boiling inside me.

Trying to maintain control of myself I reply,
“That was months ago now. I don’t owe you anything Nathan. What’s
done is done and there is no going back. You cheated on me and I
found out. Granted I started a relationship shortly afterwards but
I was faithful to you all the time we were together. As I
understand it you have also now moved on and I couldn’t be happier
for you.” A look of anguish flashes across his face and he jumps up
and moves towards me. Kneeling in front of me he takes my hands in
his. The move surprises me and taking advantage of it he says,
“She’s not you Bella. I still love you more than anything. Ben is
not the man for you, I am.” Snatching my hands away I move away to
get some distance between us. I can’t believe this is happening and
shake my head in consternation. He carries on pleading with me,
“Please Bella, open your eyes. He is not right for you. We should
be together and be getting married in a few weeks time. Wake up to
the fact. I don’t belong with Sophie and you don’t belong with
Ben.”

I have heard enough and round on him angrily.
“Get out Nathan and don’t come back. We finished a long time ago. I
don’t want to hear anymore.” He sinks down on to the settee and
sits there his head in his hands. “Ok Bella, don’t worry I won’t
push it. I will go.” My heart is thumping and I feel sick. I wish
that he would go and leave me alone. Looking at me he says in a
small voice, “Before I do, I don’t suppose I could just use your
bathroom.” He flicks me a rueful smile and despite feeling a bit
surprised at the request I say, “Ok, but then you must go.”

I watch him head towards my room to the en
suite, and remember how many times he has stayed here before. It is
almost as if it is how it used to be. He is gone for about five
minutes and I am beginning to get annoyed again when he reappears.
Coming over to me he says, “Thanks Bella, I am sorry to trouble
you. I will go now.” Then unexpectedly he pulls me towards him and
I can feel his familiar touch crushing me to him. He holds on
tightly and I can hear his breath quicken. I am so stunned that I
don’t react and he says, “I miss you every minute of the day. I
will not rest until you are back where you belong with me. Just
remember that baby, I love you and I will not give up on you.”

Recovering I push him away. Tears come into
my eyes and I say, “Just leave Nathan. Please, I wish you well but
you must forget about me. I’m sorry.” He looks at me with a pitiful
look and then leaves. Running to the door I lock it and just stand
there trying to comprehend what has just happened. My mind is
whirring around at 10,000 miles an hour and I don’t know what to
make of it. I can’t tell Ben because then Nathan would lose his
job. I race into my bedroom and look at my little canvas. Somehow I
need to be close to it. It represents freedom and space to me and I
lift it down and hug it to me. I thought that all of that was in
the past. I had hoped that Nathan would have moved on by now but
clearly he hasn’t. Sinking down on to the bed I clasp the canvas to
me. The sooner I move in with Ben the better. He will protect me
and my life will move on. It is only then that I will be totally
free and can start again.

Chapter 31

I don’t mention Nathan’s visit to anyone and
over the next few weeks I just keep busy with work and Phoebe’s
wedding. I am also planning to move in with Ben after the wedding
and so have much to organise. Ben is busy as usual but we still
manage to find time together and soon I put what happened with
Nathan to the back of my mind. I come across his new girlfriend
Sophie several times. We smile and exchange pleasantries but mainly
keep our distance from each other. I often catch her looking at me
with curiosity and I wonder what she has heard.

It is the end of the day and I am packing up
to go home. April is off sick so I walk out of the store on my own
for a change. As I head towards the station I suddenly bump into a
familiar face. I look at her in surprise.

“
Tina, what
are you doing here?” and then smile at my once friend. I say once
because we lost touch when Nathan and I split up and I only saw her
the one time at the store. She hugs me warmly. “Oh my God, Bella.
It’s good to see you, you’re looking well.” “Thanks, so do you.”
Looking at her I am struck by how well she does look. Her hair has
been coloured a rich shade of brown and I can tell that her clothes
are expensive and her handbag is from one of the current must have
designers. She is also sporting the biggest diamond engagement ring
on her finger and her nails are obviously professionally
manicured.

She smiles happily at me and says, “Do you
have time for a coffee and a catch up?” Returning her smile I say,
“Great, I would love that. Shall we go to the coffee shop over the
road?” She nods in agreement and we are soon safely ensconced at a
table by the window with large mugs of steaming coffees.

Looking carefully at her I smile. “You look
fabulous Tina. Have you won the lottery?” She laughs happily.
“Sometimes it feels like we have. No, Bradley is doing so well at
his new company. He proposed and bought me this fantastic ring. We
are getting married in a few months and there has been no expense
spared.”

I am taken
aback. “Goodness, things have moved on for you both. I am happy for
you.” She nods and then lowers her voice to a whisper. “What about
you Bella, I heard that you had a new boyfriend?” She gives me a
knowing look and I know that she knows who he is.

“
Yes, I have,
I am very happy.” A shadow crosses her face and she says, “Poor
Nathan. It all destroyed him. He hasn’t been happy ever since. I am
quite worried about him really.” Looking surprised I say, “But he
has a lovely new girlfriend. Surely he is happy in a relationship?”
She shakes her head. “Bradley tells me that he can’t get over you.
Even though he has a new girlfriend, she is just a distraction. He
would do anything to get you back and life back to normal.” I don’t
know what to say and just look into my coffee in confusion. Tina
leans closer and whispers, “Bradley wants him to apply for a job at
his company. He could earn really good money there and set himself
up for life. He won’t leave the store though and Bradley thinks
it’s because he still wants to see you and hopes that you will get
back together one day.”

I feel well and truly shocked.

“
I had no
idea he felt that way.” I say to Tina sadly. I can feel her eyes
burning into mine, watching for my reaction and I suddenly get the
feeling that this was probably a well orchestrated meeting. She was
probably sent to suss out the situation with Ben and my feelings.
The job with Bradley was mentioned to show me that we could have a
future together without relying on Ben. I smile weakly at her. “I’m
sorry for him, really I am and I only wish him well. The trouble is
I can’t give him what he wants. I love Ben and I am in fact moving
in with him after Phoebe’s wedding. There really is no going back
for me and I just wish that he would accept it.”

Tina looks at me, her face devoid of any
expression. She pushes back her chair and says, “Oh well, I’m sure
that he will soon get over it. Anyway I must dash, it’s been great
seeing you again.” Watching her go I think how superficial she has
become. I would hope that I would have been a better friend to her
if the shoe was on the other foot, however I can’t blame her, after
all her boyfriend is Nathan’s best friend.