The Only One (19 page)

Chapter 27

The past three years blew away like ashes in the wind.

Giles’ dark, magnetic eyes drew her, held her in a trance-like grip. Alex couldn’t look away. The haunting image of her dreams stood proudly before her. She didn’t need to study him to remember how his gaze hungered—or how his mouth crinkled at the corners—or how his nostrils flared in the heat of his passion. He looked . . . God help her . . . he looked divine.

A world of memories and emotions swirled through her. A face she’d once trusted completely. She wanted to blink, but her eyes refused to close for fear he would vanish.

He didn’t look like the scoundrel who’d shattered her heart. She had vowed no man would ever hurt her again. Yet she could not resist Giles. A part of her she’d sworn never to acknowledge again, reared with excitement.

A shock of hair, black as night, hung over his brow. His eyes smoldered like charcoal embers, making her skin burn where his searing gaze touched. Thick curls covered a broad, muscular chest. She followed the trail of raven silk tapering downward.

Oh, dear Lord.

With every long, unhurried step, he drew nearer. Like a sleek panther stalking his prey, he held her immobile with his hypnotic stare.

Then he was there. So close. Within a hair’s breadth. The world faded away. Nothing else existed but the two of them.

His gaze lingered, as if he couldn’t believe she were real. One finger grazed her cheek and slid along her jaw to the corner of her mouth. An all-consuming sensation began just under her skin and streamed through every nerve in her body. His eyes seemed to glow, his touch lingering only a moment before he stroked down the side of her neck.

Her pulse throbbed.

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

As though it were only yesterday, the longing he created in her could not be denied. He slipped his hands into her hair with such tenderness, a delicious shudder swept over her. She nearly cried at the raw yearning she read in his expression. Ever so slowly, he lowered his lips to brush her lids, her brow, the indentation at the side of her mouth with kisses as light as the fireflies frolicking at night.

When his lips finally pressed to hers, he took her mouth in a kiss that was as slow as it was deep. Liquid desire flowed in every cell of her body. He robbed her of breath.

“You’ve grown more devastatingly beautiful than I imagined.” The words rumbled against her mouth.

Dear God in Heaven.

Despite how he had wronged her, Giles’ touch ravaged her pride. She desired him. Only him. Alex twined her arms around his neck and curled her fingers through his hair. She’d missed him, wanted him for so long. Wrestling with intense need, desire ached in her belly.

His lips caressed hers in a lazy rhythm, as soul entrancing as their very first kiss. When she could no longer breathe, his mouth followed the same path as his thumb, over her cheek, her ear, and down the pulsing vein at her throat.

Blood pounded with each beat of her racing heart. Every nerve flamed with desire.

She sucked in a breath, overwhelmed with his essence; leather and the scent of Giles.

He bent, catching her thighs and lifting her high against his chest. Blazing eyes seared her, burned her with his yearning. Gentle arms cradled her as she curled into his warmth. With long strides, he carried her from the rippling pool to the solid earth where he lowered her to the soft bed of green grass.

His warmth encircled her in a protective cocoon. She was no longer virginal, yet she remained innocent. The only man she’d given herself to was Giles. Time had mended her despair, but love still lived in her heart. She willed the demon of doubt back to the shadows. She needed his touch, his strength.

“You are so damned beautiful.” He cupped her cheek. A finger traced her jaw. “I’ve hungered for you for three long and lonely years. I’ve dreamed countless nights of holding you in my arms.”

“Do not speak. Do not mention the past.” She stretched upward, tangling her fingers in his thick hair, stroking his nape. “We’re here, now.”

He sucked in a harsh breath, then claimed her lips with the voraciousness of a man who’d been denied far too long. A storm of ragged desire breeched the years they’d lost. This was an altered Giles. A man starved, possessed. She reveled in his passion, for hers matched his. She had never craved anything so deeply as his touch at this moment.

He trailed fiery kisses down her throat, across her fevered skin, licking droplets of water from the sensitive flesh at her collarbone. Her head fell back, giving his tongue access to the pulsing vein in her throat.

A hand on each side of her face, he once again stared into her eyes. Asking, begging . . . then their mouths crushed together again, their kisses flaming hotter as he gave her what her starving soul craved.

His knuckles grazed her ribs, shifted upward; caressed the underside of her breasts. He weighed their fullness, kneading, his thumb brushing her nipple to an aching peak. A quivering shudder ripped through her. Pressing into his palm, she begged for more.

His head lowered.

Wet, hot heat burned her rigid bud. Her lashes fluttered closed as she moaned and arched against him. He kissed and stroked with his tongue, then his lips closed over her nipple.

When he took the pebble between his teeth, desire coiled in her belly and a soft cry tore from her lips. He laved her with his tongue, soothing the bite, only making her ache more.

“God’s blood, Alex.” His hands spanned her waist while he nestled his face in the fullness of her breasts. Warm hands massaged and caressed her breasts urgently, then gently fondled as indescribable sensations swamped her. She pulled at his hair until he raised his head for another scorching kiss. His tongue probed and danced madly with hers.
More
, she kept thinking.
I’ve missed you. I want you. I want more.

Tantalizing fingers drew circles over her bare hip, then twirled across her belly and down to her curls. Amazing, how his stimulating touch set her body on fire. Oh, he knew how to caress her. Where to stroke her. How to kindle her simmering fire into a roaring blaze.

When he cupped her, pressing his hand over her pulsing center, she sucked in a quick breath. His fingertips brushed against her warm female flesh, then flicked.

She jerked as fire burned her center. She held her breath, waiting for him to do it again. Thinking she would die if he did not. “Please.”

“Yes, my darling. I will give you what you want.” His hand against her tender opening, he speared a finger into her tight sheath. “So wet. So wet. God, Alex, I’ve missed you fiercely.”

Arching upward, she seated his finger more firmly. Another finger joined the first and he worked his magic, drawing gasps from her throat. His kiss hot and possessive, his tongue matched the rhythm of his thrusting fingers.

She clamped her legs together, a tightening of crazed need claiming her body. “Giles,” she begged him shamelessly.

He plundered, taking everything she had to give. Her pulse pounded in a wild rhythm. She gasped, clutched; buried her teeth in his shoulder. Her body soared, convulsing in a burst of pleasure.

When the earth stopped spinning, Alex opened her eyes. Giles gazed down at her with adoration. His hands skimmed lightly over her collarbone.

“Perfection.”

Happiness swamped her. This wonderful man, so adoring, so vehement in his attentions. She wanted to create a fierce need in him the way he’d generated such avid yearning in her.

She pressed her body to his, feeling the thick evidence of his need, twirling her fingers in the fine black silk spread across his chest. She ran her hands over granite muscles, trailed a path downward, and found velvet soft skin over hard steel.

His breathing turned to a hiss.

She explored his hardness, delighting in her feminine power over him. A ragged moan broke from his lips. His fingers skimmed over her breast and strummed the hard bud, causing her to grip his iron flesh firmly.

He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly against him. With a will of its own, her body moved in gentle undulation and she stroked his length faster. Suddenly, he jerked her hand away, bringing her fingers to his lips. His eyes were closed, his hand trembling.

A taut moment passed before his eyes opened. His hungry gaze seared her.

“With every pore of my body, I want to ravish you. Make you completely mine.”

“Then do it,” Alex whispered.

With a predatory growl, Giles crushed her against him and ground his lips on hers. Simmering embers kindled and a new fire burned to life as a heady sensation overtook her.

He slid a knee between her thighs while his large hand gripped her hair and gently tugged her head back, arching her neck up to him. Hot, open-mouthed kisses blazed down her throat. The scorching head of his passion brushed the quivering opening of her woman’s core, creating a red haze of desire. She arched against him, willing him on in her need for completion. He buried himself in her.

She sobbed Giles’ name. His heart pounded a wild rhythm, his eyes latched on to hers. She could not look away from the rousing heat blazing in their depths.

“Ah, Alexandria. The way you say my name when I am deep inside you.”

The words falling from his lips made her purr with longing.

Shifting his hips, he pulled out and slid in again. His hot, pulsing fullness sent a shock of raw pleasure zipping to every cell in her blood.

“Joined to you so fully, we are one.” His dark eyes bore into hers, making it difficult to breathe. Holding her gaze, he lifted, then thrust forward. Strong, yet gentle fingers kneaded her bottom, squeezing, gripping. Shoving her hands deeper in his hair, she pulled him down so she could kiss him again.

She submitted to him with complete abandon as he plunged deep inside her. Oh God, so deep. Desire clawed at her. With murmurs of pleasure she arched, her hips moving instinctively with his. He groaned his approval, then quickened the pace. Shameless, she met each thrust. She only knew it felt good and delicious and she wanted more. Reason deserted her.

Only need remained.

In his arms Alex became a sultry siren.

Her well-defined curves, the sweet bow of her lips, her honeyed moans, stirred his blood. Giles drew on self-control, of which he had very little, to dampen his raging possession. Easier said than accomplished. Her drenched flesh sucked his manhood, stole his breath.

He tried to hold back and not ravage her like some wild animal. But he’d been denied his heart’s desire for far too long. And God Almighty, she was so wet, that his lust-filled mind took over. She burned with the same flaming hunger. Together they fueled an out-of-control rhythm.

His hands hooked firmly on her hips, he took one breast with his mouth. His lovely vixen quaked with straining tension.

Gasping for breath, beads of perspiration slid down his temple as he thrust harder, offering her everything. On a tide of sensual longing, he took her higher and higher until she tumbled over the peak. He ground against her, wringing from her every drop of sensation.

Blood thundered in his temples. He closed his eyes as blinding pressure rose from the base of his need. Lost in the woman he loved, he hurtled after her. Chest heaving, he threw back his head and howled like a madman.

Nothing could have prepared him for the onslaught of emotions she aroused in him. Christ, she was so receptive. A sensual creature with no barriers, no control over the power of his possession. She’d drained every ounce of energy, every gut-wrenching breath from his limp body. He yearned to keep her just this way in her paradise cove forever.

Lulled by the sound of gentle rolling water, he stretched out beside her. Her beautiful eyes glowed with ecstasy, robbing his breath. She curled into him. So tender, so erotic, her palm over his pounding heart, her fingers combing the thick hair on his chest. The sun glinted in the wheat gold strands nestled against his shoulder. He lifted a forefinger to twine about a wet strand.

Softer than silk, she smelled of sunshine, springtime, and the flowers around them. Her skin had flushed from his loving. God, it felt so bloody good to have her beneath him, warm and eager. A prize he finally had the common sense to claim. He would never again bear the agony of living without her.

A shudder tore through him. He grimaced and held her tighter, thanking his lucky stars. Alex was his. He would prove it to her father, and her irksome brothers.

But first, he needed to prove it to her.

Chapter 28

She’d succumbed to his advances once again.

Her eyes tightly closed, Alex refused to open them for fear of reality crashing in. Let her dwell in the land of fantasies for a while longer.

He’d invaded her retreat. Her private lagoon. Where she came to hide from the outside world. From him. But she never escaped her memories.

Giles was back. Why should she care what his reasons were?

“For three lonely years I’ve dreamed of doing this. Holding you in my arms again.”

Merciful heavens, so had she. The years seemed like centuries.

He played with a curl lying on her breast. “Thank God you cannot deny me, what we have between us, what we are to each other.”

She’d grown empty. So empty. One glimpse, one touch, and she’d fallen longingly into his arms again.

A whirlwind raged in her mind. What had she done?

She chewed on her bottom lip. Made love, was what she’d done. Without any resistance. Without any thought of accountability. She’d wanted her lover’s touch. He burned her anew just as he’d devastated her years ago.

“You cannot imagine what the past three years have been like for me,” Giles murmured.

Sorrow lodged in her chest. “Pity. Empathy. Tolerance. Encouragement,” she said softly. “Whatever my family could think of to lift my spirits. I felt so guilty. And it was not my guilt to bear.” Remembering fueled her anger.

She jerked from him. Her breasts swayed, reminding her of her state of undress.

“I love you.”

She froze.

Three years she’d waited. Three years she’d hoped, prayed, and dreamed of his return. Knowing he never would. But he was here. Stirring desires that should remained buried.

“Did you hear me, Alex?”

Snapping out of the fantasy she’d succumbed to, she crossed her arms over her chest and faced him. “Why did you come here?”

“I had to see you.”

“Why?” She wanted to scream, shout, take her hurt and anger out on him. She bit her inner cheek instead.

“Even though I don’t deserve an ounce of your precious time, even though I know you can never forgive me, I had to try.” His chest warmed her back, his breath—so close to her ear—sent butterflies frolicking down her neck.

She moved to stand.

“Please don’t rush away.” He stayed her with a hand. A light entered his eyes. “I love you. You just proved you still love me.”

Of course she loved him. Why else had she surrendered so easily to her desires?

“My foolish mistake.”

By the look on his face, she’d shocked him.
Good
.

“Your body tells me otherwise.”

Yes, her traitorous body. She still wanted him. Foolishly still loved him. But he didn’t need to know that. “You’re mistaken.”

“I couldn’t mistake your legs draped around me. I need only touch you for you to melt.”

Shamed, she shoved to her feet and scurried to gather her clothes. Bad enough he was right. She refused to admit he still had so much control over her. Holding the bundle of clothing as a shield, she faced him. “The intimacy between us is nothing. It will not happen again.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Do you think you can make love to me and all is forgiven?” She called on her waning courage to slight his lovemaking, as though it meant little. Her voice came out cold. “Consider this a moment of weakness and nothing more.”

“Alex, you don’t mean that.” But his gaze had narrowed and he studied her as if he wasn’t sure.

“I am not the naïve girl I was three years ago.”

“Believe me, I’ve noticed.” His gaze traveled down her body.

She spun around and slipped behind a bush to dress.

“Darling, I’m here to stay.”

How she wanted to believe that. She didn’t know what to say. In the quiet, she heard the rustling of his clothes. Thank God he was getting dressed. She tugged on her boots and stepped to the spot where she’d carelessly thrown all caution aside.

“Wait.” Giles called. His strong voice held a note of anxiousness.

“I’m not going anywhere. At least not until I’ve had my questions answered.”

“Ask me anything.” His voice came from just behind her.

She whirled around. “All right, then. Why are you here?”

“I can no longer bear the agony of living without you.”

“Agony? You want to talk about agony?” She gripped her hands into fists. “I prayed for your return. Right up until the day Kit told me of your marriage. I descended into a well of anguish. Heartache I could never have imagined. Grief . . .” She choked on a sob.

When he reached for her, she took a step back.

“The pain of your leaving years ago is not gone. I’ve had to live on. I had to build a life for myself without you in it. I’ll not bore you with details of the days and months that followed. How bitterness nearly destroyed me.”

“Alex, I wish I could erase the sordid past.”

“We both know you cannot.” Tears threatened.

Oh no. Not now
.

Her anger saved her. “I did forgive you, you know. I knew whatever reason forced you to leave, tore at you. I saw it in your face that day.”

“I listened to others,” he protested. “I did what I thought best for you, squashing down my own wants.”

What did you want?
Fearing his answer, she didn’t ask. He had still left. Obviously he hadn’t wanted her.

Alex took a deep breath, pushing back her sentiment. She turned to the waterfall, needing its picturesque beauty to quell her anxiety, its soothing sound to calm her racing heart. “How could I hate a man who loved me? At least, I told myself you did love me. You were honest with me regarding your heritage. But I swore I’d never allow another man to hurt me the way you did.”

“As God is my witness, I’m sorry, Alex. So sorry.”

I won’t let the vulnerability of his voice deter me
. Yet if his tone was anything to go by, he too suffered.

He left me.

She could not be weak. With steel in her backbone, she spun, and let fortitude empower her. “What about your wife?”

“What?”

“Even when Kit told me, I didn’t want to believe him. Did you love me when you married another?”

“I married no other.”

Hope sparked to life so quickly, she quashed the alarming reaction.
Impossible.
After months of being numb, she had finally learned that she could function again. Thanks to her brothers, she even managed a smile now and then. Ironic, since their initial reaction to the duke’s marriage had been ferocious. Their eyes brimming with storm clouds and murder, her brothers threatened to tie him to a boulder and sink him to the bottom of the ocean. Filled with pain, she’d been too paralyzed to care.

“Alex, I have no wife,” he insisted with sincerity.

“Kit said he saw you. In the church. On your wedding day. You yourself told me of your responsibility as a duke.”

He took a step closer. “I’m not married. I called it off.”

Relief swamped her. He had not married. On the heels of her relief came the crashing reality, that he’d still had every intention of marrying another.

“But you would have. You almost did. You planned to marry another. Tell me true.” Rage replaced despair. “I can’t believe I defended you. I thought you loved me. You threw me away. Did you love another?”

“No! I loved none other. It would have been a marriage of convenience. My title demands I continue the line.”

“Procuring an heir is not a marriage of convenience.”

“I couldn’t go through with it.”

“You abandoned your bride?”

Giles thrust his hands through his hair. “God’s teeth.”

“When? When did you change your mind? And why? My brother was there.”

“He made me see reason.”

Her heart plummeted. “If not for my brother, you would have married the woman.”

“Good God, no! I would not have married her regardless.”

“Then why were you in a church?” Her hands fisted at her hips. “Why was your bride in the church? Did Kit stop the wedding only minutes before the vows?”

Again he shoved his hands through his hair and pulled at the ends as if he would yank it out by the roots. “I waited too long to tell her. I couldn’t have you. I resigned myself to my fate. But I couldn’t do it. I was miserable. I could not make her life miserable as well.”

Miserable?
She would not feel sorry for him.

“And now your wants have changed?”

“I deserve your scorn.”

Several emotions crossed his features. But when his face softened and he took a step forward, she found she could not move.

“A man searches for a long time to find the right woman for him. At my age, I consider myself fortunate to have a young woman’s love.”

His pleading eyes held her. “I’m here to make things right.”

“Right? What you may consider
right
does not mean your ideas are suitable to me. What’s done is done. You cannot change what happened. I no longer care for you.”

“We have settled the issue of whether or not you care for me.” He revealed a dangerous smile, filled with intent and desire, reminding her only moments ago they’d been flesh to naked flesh.

She was weak. But he could not be allowed to discern her vulnerability. She aimed her nose in the air, hoping he would see the gesture as confidence. “I have come to terms with our past. We have no future.”

She spun on her heel and headed for Stardust. Enough of this insane torture. God help her, she needed his love. But she could not travel down that path again. She would not survive another heartbreak.

“This is your pride talking,” he called after her.

She refused to turn. “You think my pride is speaking? I lost all sense of pride when your ship sailed away.”

“Wait!” He followed her step for torturous step. “Deuced hell, if you will just listen.”

Furious, she whirled back to him. “I listened to you three years ago. I don’t care that you changed your mind. I have not. You are a duke. Your life is in England. Mine is here.”

“I swore I would never let you go again.” He raised hands clenched inti fists. She glanced at his whitened knuckles, then back to his pain-filled eyes.

“That is no longer your choice.” If only his words were true. She quickly shook those thoughts away. How foolish to even be thinking of hope. “What of your precious heritage? Your dukedom?”

“I want you for my wife. The
ton
can go to hell.” His face resembled storm clouds, his voice like thunder.

I can’t trust myself.

“Tell me, Giles. Will you make promises and then leave me again?”

His frown softened and his eyes grieved with such sorrow, her heart ached. She nearly damned her soul and threw herself at him. Only the sheerest force of will held her immobile.

“I will never be so foolish to repeat my past mistakes.”

“Good,” she heard herself say, and was proud she’d not broken. “I’m glad you were miserable. I hope you rot in hell.”

Blindly, she ran through the bush, leaves and stems scuffing her hands. This time he didn’t stop her.

Of all the ways Giles had envisioned their meeting, having her in his arms and then seconds later, being told to sod off, had never entered his mind. While his tongue was in danger of being bitten clear off, he swallowed the frustration lodged in his throat.

How ludicrous. For most of his years he’d confronted danger without a care for his person, faced life-threatening situations without fear, yet this urchin—who was an infant no more—scared him witless.

He wanted to grab her shoulders and shake some sense into her. Make her admit what happened between them was everything. Anger choked him, until he reasoned out her pride was speaking. She denied it, but he knew her.

He’d been unable to take his eyes off her.

Alex had changed a lot over the last three years. Her face had lost its girlish youth, to be replaced with the stunning beauty of a woman. Always tall, her curves were fuller now, more rounded. He swallowed just thinking of how she filled his hands. The young woman he’d once known now moved with seemingly effortless grace, no longer the carefree sprite on the verge of blossoming. But she still housed a mountain of spirit.

How good to finally be with Alex once again. Smoothing her gold-wheat hair back from her forehead, twining the silken strands through his fingertips. Watching her lower lip quiver as he brushed his thumb over its fullness. The feel of her heart beating so close to his. Her eyes burned in passion, yet her vulnerability tore his heart.

To watch her run away, dismiss him as though he was a moment’s pleasure and nothing more, chafed him raw. Maybe they could not go back to the way things were, but he’d be damned if he’d allow her to throw away what they could be. He should have given her a better explanation before he made love to her. How he’d allowed her father to persuade him her age was an issue.

No matter now. He left her. And in her eyes, he deserted her. The caring creature he’d craved but threw away. He damned his soul for wasted years. Yearning ate so much of his life. Devil him for the cad he’d been, for his actions in the name of honor and family customs. No matter the time or distance, they both had suffered.

These past years had taught Giles regret. He would live with sorrow no more. He’d been a complete sod of an ass. He would be denied no longer.

Christ, he loved her. He would find a way to breach her walls. He must convince her that he would never hurt her again.