The Orchid House (40 page)

‘Harry is here,’ she called to her grandmother, who turned round and gave him a wide, toothless grin. ‘You see, we make special feast for our lunch. It is tradition.’

‘Thank you. Can I do anything to help?’ Harry asked.

‘No, you are guest. And we Thais never ask men to do woman’s work. You stay here, you relax, okay?’

She headed back into the kitchen and Harry sat on the veranda, watching the water rituals in the street below him. The sound of laughter and the sense of joy that pervaded the village were uplifting. Even though this tiny community, adrift in the middle of the sea, had little in the way of material possessions, he felt the warmth. Having only seen the brutal side of humanity for four long years, the sight brought a tear to his eye.

When Lidia reappeared from the kitchen, she was holding a large basket of fruit and vegetables.

‘We go visiting, Harry, to bring
Song Kran
gift to the old and sick of the village. You come with me?’

Harry stood up. ‘Of course. Here, let me take that.’ He hooked the heavy basket over his arm and followed Lidia down the steps.

They spent the next hour in and out of the houses all over the village. Lidia encouraged Harry to put his hands together in the
wai
and pronounce the traditional greeting: ‘
Sawadee krup
’. She explained that they offered gifts to the elderly, who, in return, offered to cleanse their souls and forgive their wrong-doings of the past year.

Harry felt this tradition was so much more jolly and all-encompassing than communion, or the lonely Catholic confessional box. He watched Lidia kneel down beside a frail old man and talk animatedly to him. She took his hand in hers and stroked it gently.

Whilst they walked back towards her grandparents’ house, long tables were being set up in the middle of the street in preparation for the feast. The familiar faces of the extended family he had met last night gathered at the table. Two monks from the local temple joined them, resplendent in their saffron robes. Harry looked at the tables of families winding in a long line down the street. It seemed every single resident was present.

He tasted every dish he was offered then, under duress, played football with any number of small children along the street and got drenched by countless further dousings.

When the night drew in, Lidia’s grandfather stood up and made a speech. The atmosphere changed swiftly as the old man spoke and let the tears run freely down his cheeks. Harry looked around at Lidia’s other relatives and saw they too had tears in their eyes. Then one of the monks stood up and chanted in a melodic, high-pitched voice.

The sombre air lasted no longer than fifteen minutes and when the villagers began to drift away to recover from the day’s festivities, Lidia left her place at the table and came over to Harry.

‘Khun
Harry, you are tired now, yes? I walk you home.’

After a round of ‘thank you’s’ and much bowing and pressing of fingers to their noses, Lidia and Harry left the village and began to walk back towards the hut on the beach.

‘Why was your grandfather crying?’ he asked gently.

‘He talked of my father,’ Lidia replied sadly. ‘We were remembering him on this special day and wishing his soul well. The monk said it will be well, for he has learnt the lesson of suffering in this life. When he come back for next life, maybe his lesson will not be so hard. That is what we Buddhists believe.’

‘It must be comforting to believe suffering has a purpose beyond our lives,’ mused Harry. ‘If it’s true, then many of the poor buggers who suffered so badly and died in Changi will be very happy next time around.’

She looked up at him. ‘You believe in your god?’

‘Well, it was never explained to me very well as a child,’ he admitted. ‘It was just something I
did.
Every Sunday at home and every day at school, I went to chapel. I didn’t think beyond the fact it was jolly tedious having to sit still for a long time, sing dull tunes and listen to some old chap boring the pants off me. And all for someone I couldn’t even see, or feel, and seemed to do nothing, but still had to be worshipped.’

‘What is “boring the pants”?’ asked Lidia.

This made Harry smile. ‘An English expression,’ he explained. ‘When I was in Changi, many of the men began to believe in God. Perhaps they had to believe in something. But I …’ Harry shook his head and sighed, ‘I suppose I found it hard to believe that any
good
god could make innocent men suffer the way we did.’

Lidia nodded. ‘I also, when my father die, do not take comfort through belief. I think to myself: perhaps he go to a better place, but what about me? I lose my father before I am ready. But now,’ she added quietly, ‘I accept.’

‘Does your family know your mother is leaving for Japan?’ asked Harry, as they arrived on the beach.

‘No. It is better this way. It would cause too much pain and they have enough. They lose their son. They are from different world, here on Koh Chang. They would not understand.’ Lidia sighed and managed a weak smile. ‘Sometimes, Harry, life seems very hard.’

‘I know,’ he agreed, looking up at the moon, full tonight and shining directly above the sea, giving the ripples a silvery gleam. ‘But I learnt in Changi that when I lose my faith in human nature, I put my faith in nature.’ He indicated the scene in front of him, sweeping his arms wide open. ‘Someone must have made and designed this beauty, in all its extraordinary intricacy.’

‘Then you are Buddhist already. Nature nourish the soul,’ Lidia agreed as they gazed at the moon together.

They walked along the sand, past the empty hut that belonged to Lidia’s aunt and uncle, and arrived outside his. Lidia smiled at him.

‘I hope tonight you will sleep peacefully and well, Harry,’ she said. ‘I see you tomorrow.’

As she turned to walk away from him, he could control himself no longer. He grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards him.

‘Oh, Lidia, Lidia …’ She did not resist as he took her into his arms, but rested her head on his shoulder whilst he stroked her magnificent hair. ‘My darling, darling Lidia, I have to tell you, because if I don’t, I will burst,’ he laughed, ‘so please forgive me. I think I fell in love with you the moment I saw you at the Oriental, holding a sweeping brush! I love you, Lidia, I love you so very, very much.’ He continued stroking her hair, as the words he had longed to say poured out of him. ‘I don’t know why, or how this has happened, and I know we come from different worlds, but please forgive me, I must tell you, because I feel I am being driven half-mad.’

Lidia stood silently, not moving from his shoulder.

Suddenly the relief of telling her, coupled with her silence – which might indicate non-reciprocation – were too much for him: Harry broke down. He sobbed like a child and his hands dropped away from her.

‘I am sorry, Lidia – I –’

‘Harry, Harry, it is okay … Come.’ She took his hand, led him to the step outside the hut and sat him down on it. She sat slightly behind him, put her arms round his shoulders, rested his head against her chest and stroked his face as he continued to weep.

He cried for his suffering, for the suffering of all those who had died such terrible, pointless deaths. He cried for his mother and Olivia and Wharton Park, and the mess he seemed to have made of his life so far. But mostly, he cried because he had found the most beautiful thing in his life and it could never be his.

‘Harry, Harry,’ Lidia murmured. ‘I am here, I am here. And I …’

She whispered something in Thai. He looked up at her, her face blurred through the tears. ‘I didn’t understand what you said, my darling.’ He wiped his eyes roughly in order to bring her face into focus.

She too had tears in her eyes. She hung her head shyly. ‘I say – I love you, too.’

He looked at her in amazement, eventually managing to whisper, ‘You do?’

Lidia nodded. Then she looked him in the eye and smiled sadly. ‘It is same for me. When I first see you … I –’ she shook her head, frustrated – ‘do not have words to explain.’

‘Oh, my darling, my darling girl,’ Harry choked out as he wrapped her in his arms and kissed her, his passion overwhelming. He had to control himself, not wishing to hurt her delicate lips or squeeze her fragile body too tightly to him. The physical need for her frightened him in its intensity; the hardness in his groin was violent and he knew he must release her before he lost control completely. With all the willpower he possessed, he made his lips leave hers and sat with her, wrapped in his arms, panting with need.

He had little idea of how much time passed, as he managed to calm his body and content himself with the fact that, finally, he was holding Lidia in his arms.

‘Harry, I must go,’ she said eventually.

‘I know.’ He kissed her lips once more, forcing himself to keep in check his need for so much more.

When she stood up, she gazed down at him thoughtfully. ‘I never believe this happen to me.’

‘What?’

‘To fall in love. To get this feeling … here,’ she indicated her heart. ‘My grandmother, she say truly loving another person is to find heaven on earth.’

‘Or hell,’ Harry muttered under his breath as he stood up to take her in his arms one last time. ‘I can hardly bear to let you go.’

She pulled away from him and reached her small hand out to his; he folded it in his own, then kissed the delicate skin of her palm.

‘I come back tomorrow,’ she said, her hands leaving his. ‘Goodnight, Harry.’

‘Goodnight, my love,’ he murmured, as he watched her walk away in the moonlight.

Harry was awake at sunrise, filled with excitement about seeing Lidia. To pass the time until she arrived, he took himself off along the beach for a stroll, and went for a long dip in the calm, turquoise sea. Eventually, when each minute had begun to seem like an hour, Lidia arrived. Her eyes warned him not to take her in his arms – her nieces and nephews were playing on the beach in front of their parents’ hut – so he nodded at her politely.

‘Good morning, Lidia, did you sleep well?’

‘Yes, Harry, I did.’ Her eyes sparkled in delight at the shared games they were playing. ‘I think this morning, maybe you like to see waterfall in mountains in centre of island? It is very beautiful and you can swim in fresh water. Yes?’

‘Yes,’ he agreed immediately. Any chance to be alone with her, he would take willingly.

Lidia put together a basket with water, beer and some fresh fruit from her aunt’s hut, and they set off past the village along a rough, uphill track.

When they were alone, surrounded by jungle, and Lidia was comfortable there could be no prying eyes, she reached up and gave him a delicate kiss on the cheek as a signal. Harry’s arms immediately encircled her as he kissed her.

‘Come,’ she said, extricating herself, ‘it is not far now and we can be comfortable.’

Twenty minutes later, with scratched feet and bites from all manner of insects that lurked in the undergrowth, Harry entered the clearing around the waterfall to the sound of crashing water, cascading down from the mountain. He looked down into a cool, clean lagoon surrounded by lush vegetation. Lidia pulled a bamboo mat out of her basket and Harry sank down on to it and reached for some water.

He was puffing and panting like a pensioner. ‘I am sorry, my darling girl, I’m afraid I’m yet to get back to full physical strength.’

Lidia knelt like a small, delicate Buddha next to him, and handed him some fruit. ‘Eat this, I understand. Your poor body, it need rest and peace to recover. But –’ she indicated the magnificent setting – ‘I think it is worth it, yes?’

A shack in a shanty town would have sufficed Harry, as long as Lidia was by his side, but he nodded. ‘It is indeed wonderful. Now, my darling, come here.’

She lay her head on his knee and they talked like lovers, eager to discover how and when their mutual feeling had begun and then developed. After a while, he lay down and she lay next to him, and nestled into his body. He kissed her lips, her eyes, her cheeks, her hair and, unable to resist, his hand began to travel downward to explore parts of her he had so far only reached in his imagination.

When he unbuttoned her blouse, she did not stop him – if anything, seemed eager for his hand to stroke her tiny, perfect breasts, and for him to reach down with his lips to kiss them. His body was calmer today, and he took his time exploring every part of her soft, honey-coloured skin. He undid the three buttons that kept his own torso from her and pulled off his shirt so that their naked skin touched for the first time.

Harry felt a jolt of electricity run through him. Reaching his hand down, he put his palm gently to the place he had dreamed of for weeks, feeling its heat and wetness. A timid hand searched to find the ties of his trousers.

And at last they were both completely naked, the centre of him hard and hot and straining against her. Their mouths were locked together, as their hands travelled to probe and touch and learn.

Finally, unable to contain himself any longer, Harry rose above her and looked down into her eyes.

‘Lidia, please, tell me if you don’t want –’

She raised one finger to his lips to silence him. ‘Harry, I do want, I love you. And I trust you.’

He understood that she was telling him this was new to her, that he would be the first.

Gently, he eased himself inside her, revelling in the heat of the tight, wet walls of her inner core. He bent towards her face, kissing her gently and asking her to tell him if it hurt and he would stop. When he penetrated her more deeply, she stared into his eyes, and they rose and fell together as the gentleness turned to urgency, she meeting him with the same passionate need, until the moment came and Harry screamed out her name to the skies as he drowned in the pain and pleasure of ecstasy.

Afterwards, with her small naked body wrapped around his, Harry thought that he truly had seen the face of God.

39

They began the return journey to Bangkok the following morning, Harry sitting in Tong’s boat, staring back at the island that had restored his belief in the beauty and sanctity of life. He only prayed he would see it again one day.