The Other Half of My Soul (22 page)

Maddy gave Rayna a hug, said goodbye to Rami, and took Nida in for a nap.

“Salaam.” Kamil and Rami embraced on both cheeks. “Thank you for coming. Your visit has meant a lot to me.” Humbly, Kamil stumbled into an apology and thanked them both for the generous gifts of toys and clothes for Nida.

“Rami and I hope you and Maddy can work this out. And Kamil . . . know that we’re both here for you, even if it’s just to talk.”

“Thank you. You’re both very kind.” Kamil hugged Rayna, finding it hard to let go.

twenty-six

He who does not have a wife lives without joy, without blessing, without goodness.

—Talmud Yevamot 62b

The late March winds howled and a heavy rain rippled against the skylight. Lulled by the sounds of nature, the lovers drew close. Rayna eased her hands along his erogenous zones, and smothered him all over with kisses. Rami caressed her. Their sounds of pleasure intensified. Rayna crested and he surged. A stillness settled. They snuggled comfortably.

“Growing up in Syria, I was taught . . . all of us were taught to hate Israel and the Jews. I had never known a Jew until I met you. I was fed lies . . . lots of lies.” He brought her fingertips to his lips and kissed them one by one. “Religion is a deadly weapon. Using the name of Allah, or God, or whatever, people have been driven to do horrible things. I just do not understand why people are so willing to follow blindly. Without questioning, without reasoning, they willingly give over their minds.”

“It’s been the history of mankind.”

“Rayna, I love you. I am committed to you. Nothing and no one will ever change that.”

“I love you back, more than you will ever know. When you were in South America, I was so scared that I might never see you again. Your pain was my pain. Each day I asked God to give me your agony so you wouldn’t have to suffer so. I prayed to see you just one more time.”

“I put you through a lot. I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. You were trying to survive and to protect me.” She studied his face and smiled. “Just before my jidaw died, he told me that real love comes only once in a lifetime. He said not to let go, because it won’t ever come that same way again.”

“I liked your jidaw. I felt a connection. I wish I could have known him more.”

“Mmmm, that would have been special for both of you.”

The vision of a single form, Isaac and Hasdai ibn Shaprut, appeared in Rami’s mind. Although the two men lived five hundred years apart, their apparition was one and the same.

* * *

It had been months since Rami last attended the mosque. Rayna encouraged him to go for juma. “You never went once during Ramadan. I think it’s important for you.”

“Allah is inside of me, not inside a Sunni mosque.”

“Then find a Shi’ite mosque.”

“You know that there are none nearby.”

“Rami, go. If you still feel the same afterward, then don’t go back and I will never mention it again.”

* * *

On Friday, just before twelve, Rami grudgingly entered the mosque, removed his shoes, and stood in line side by side with the other men. Facing the mihrab, symbolizing the eastern direction to Mecca, Rami experienced a tug of war raging inside. Despite childhood links pulling him in, he felt his integrity being attacked. He stood, bowed, knelt, repeated ‘Allahu akbar,’ and touched the ground with his forehead. Concluding the ritual, Rami joined the other worshippers in a seated position on the floor. Like a programmed robot, he had moved through the routine.

* * *

Soon, all eyes were directed toward the wooden platform. The imam began, “
La hawla wa la quwwata illa bi’Llah
. In God alone is power and strength.” After reading from the Quran, the cleric delivered his
khutba
. “No other faith can be equal to Islam. Islam
is
the only faith. The Quran
is
the only authority. This is our jihad, the struggle that Allah has set before us.” Pausing, the imam allowed the effects of his words to set in. Once confident that he had the full attention of the congregation, he proceeded to dehumanize Jews and accuse Jewish doctors of poisoning Muslim patients. “All Muslims will never be safe until we finish what Hitler started.”

* * *

Beads of sweat formed on Rami’s brow. His facial muscles tensed. He wanted to expose the lies and hatred.
This is not what Allah expects of us
, he craved to scream out. Looking around, Rami saw only affirming nods validating the imam.
If I do not soon flee, I will surely erupt
. Yet, Rami knew that getting up and leaving would bring harsh eyes upon him. The consequences would not be worth his public display of defiance against those who had already given their minds over to the imam.
Hang in just a while longer. Soon it will be over. Once I tell Rayna, she will not ever again insist I come here. This is my last time.

As soon as the imam concluded, Rami jumped to his feet, zipped up his fleece cardigan, and raced to the front door. For an instant, he stopped to slip on his footwear. A heavy hand bore down on him. Startled, Rami spun around. The imam smiled. “Rami, it’s so good to see you. You have stayed away far too long. Let’s talk in my office.”

Rami forced a reciprocative smile. “I wish I could, but I have an appointment,” he lied.

“You are refusing me? What kind of an appointment is so important that you cannot spend ten minutes with your imam?”

“Uhhh,”
think fast
. “Uhhh . . . dentist’s appointment. I was up all night with a toothache. Even now I am in pain. We will talk another time.” Rami darted out.

“Rami,” the imam called, “I hope your tooth is better and may your dentist not be a Jew.”

Rami vowed never to go back in that building again.

* * *

The following Thursday, Kamil called to say he was coming to Washington on business for the week. He would arrive sometime on Sunday. Rami invited him to stay with them. Graciously, Kamil accepted.

Early the next morning, Eli called. He was coming to Washington for the week to do research at the Library of Congress for his thesis, and also to check on his father’s lighting supply stores in the area. Talking with her brother, Rayna suggested that he drive down with Kamil. “We insist you both stay with us. We have two guest rooms waiting to be used.”

“That’s a great idea.” Eli was eager to see his sister. Spending four hours alone in the car with Kamil was a bonus he had not anticipated.

“Good. Here’s Kamil’s private number. You two make the arrangements.”

“Thanks, Rayna. You know how much I’ve been wanting this opportunity.”

“I know you two will hit it off. Now, I want to hear about you and Alexis. When will I meet her?”

“Last night I proposed and she accepted.”

“Oh, Eli, I’m so happy for you. I can’t wait to meet her.”

* * *

Eli had dated a lot and was considered a good catch in the Syrian community, but no one held his interest. No one measured up to Rayna. However, with Alexis it was different. He had known her only ten weeks. She was a Sephardic Jew from Athens, Greece. Against her parents’ wishes, she had accepted a fellowship to study medicine at New York University. The two had met in the campus library and Eli could not take his eyes from her. That was all Rayna knew.

* * *

Early Sunday evening, a horn beeped in the driveway. Excitedly, Rayna ran to the door. Eli was the first to enter. He put his luggage down, “I’ve missed you.”

She gave Eli a big hug, then smiled at Kamil. “I appreciate your bringing my brother.”

“Eli is great company. I’m glad you suggested it.”

Appearing from behind her, Rami eagerly greeted his guests.

“Mmmm, something smells delicious,” Kamil sniffed.

“It’s the aroma of my sister’s Syrian cooking.”

“Syrian food? For dinner?” Kamil was elated.

“Yes, Kamil. It’s a special treat for you,” Rayna grinned.

Kamil glanced at Rami, “Anytime you’re ready to give her up . . .”

“No way. Forget it. I am never giving up Rayna. She is mine.” Playfully, he pulled her close.

The four then went out for a walk around the neighborhood to give Eli and Kamil a chance to stretch their legs after the long trip.

* * *

Returning to the house, Rami showed Eli and Kamil to their rooms and left them to unpack. He went down to the kitchen to help Rayna set the table and cut up the salad.

Soon, Eli vaulted down the spiral staircase. “Can I get a tour of the house?”

“Eli!” Rayna gave him a discerning look, lowered the burners, and took hold of Eli’s arm. “If you can behave . . . come.”

Quickly appearing on the bottom step, Kamil asked, “Am I included in the tour?”

“Of course you are. Come on.”

The house did not exude the lavishness of the one Rayna had grown up in, nor did it depict the meager decor of Rami’s childhood dwelling. Everywhere, Isaac’s belongings were in view. A clever commingling of colors and new furnishings enhanced the setting to reflect a comfortable feeling of love and warmth in the home.

“Well, it’s meticulously clean. You get that from Mom . . . uh-oh . . .”

“It’s okay, Eli. Children do pick up some of their parents’ ways.”

“Wow! What big rooms. I like your dramatic two-story entrance-way. But how will you ever get up there to change those lightbulbs in that chandelier?” Looking up at the fixture, Kamil chuckled.

“Rayna already solved that problem,” Rami laughed. “No one is allowed to turn it on.”

“What else has my sister put limits on?”

“Eli!” Rayna reproached her brother.

Rami and Kamil drifted into the library. Rami took some very old books from the shelf. “These are from Syria. Rayna’s jidaw brought these with him when he first came to America.”

* * *

Alone with Rayna, Eli admired the maplewood floors and the unusual shapes of the designer windows. “You know what I like best about your home? Jidaw is here . . . in his things. The aura of his presence is profound. He hasn’t left you, has he?”

Instinctively, Rayna shivered from a chill that ran down her spine. “No, Eli, I still can’t let go.”

Eli put his arms around her and kissed her forehead. “Jidaw began having dreams about you sometime after our sitaw died. He explained it as a visceral forewarning. A sixth sense, if you can call it that. He knew one day you would reach out for help and he would be gone. That’s why he left you the house.”

“It’s because of Rami, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“I want to share the money and everything of Jidaw’s with you. Half of it is yours . . .”

“No. No. Dad has provided very well for me. Jidaw’s money is yours. He wanted you to have it. I want you to have it.”

“Rrawhee,” Rami called out from the kitchen. “Shall I turn off the burners?”

“Uh-oh, he’s telling me someone is hungry.”

* * *

Over dinner, Eli bubbled with talk about Alexis. “From the first instant I saw her, I knew she was the one for me. Her goodness and beauty . . . well, you’ll see when you meet her.”

“So tell us, Eli, when is the wedding?” Rayna eagerly asked.

“We’re going to Athens so I can meet her family. It will be a real Greek wedding . . . and I expect everyone at this table to be there.”

“A good wife is a man’s fortune. My father always said that,” Kamil smiled. Kamil had not wanted to marry Maddy. She liked to party and spend lots of time with her girlfriends. She disliked housework and hated to cook. Nida was tolerated in small doses. Sex between them was non-existent. Maddy cringed whenever Kamil came near. He ached for the kind of love that Rami and Eli had found. Masking his sadness, Kamil pulled out Nida’s photos and rambled on about his infant daughter, enjoying the oohs and aahs from his audience.

* * *

Over dessert, the conversation shifted back to Eli, who addressed Rayna with a devious bend in his tone. “Have you heard the latest about our two wonderful aunts and the three-million-dollar lawsuit against you?”

Rayna shook her head. “No. My lawyer has been on vacation in Italy.”

“Well, my dear sister,
it’s over
!”

“Thank God.” Rayna let out a sigh of relief.

“Eli, your relatives are just plain vicious. Rayna has been through enough this year and . . .”

“You’re right, Rami. I apologize for them.”

“It is not your fault, Eli. We will be forever indebted to you for standing by us.”

Deliberately, Eli cleared his throat. “I bring more good tidings . . . Jonathan. Remember him?”

“How can we forget Jonathan? What about him?” Rami’s curiosity escalated.

“He flunked his chemistry class last semester and . . .”

“Oh?” Rami smirked.

“There’s more . . .”

“Go on, Eli. You’re going to tell us anyway.” Rayna squirmed.

“Not only did he flunk chemistry, but he also got a D in calculus. Mom says his parents are furious. They tightened the umbilical cord, took away his car, pulled him out of Maryland, and harnessed the money belt. He’s now living at home, going to Brooklyn College, and commuting on the subway.”

“Oooooh! Shall we all applaud?” Rayna looked at Rami and clapped her hands.

Hanging onto Eli’s every word, Rami felt avenged.

“Mom says Jonathan is suffering miserably. Those are her exact words.”

“Good! He deserves that and more misery. It is not punishment enough for what he did to my wife.”

Kamil had been quietly listening to the family dynamics. “The guy couldn’t be that bad, could he?”

“Kamil, what we say here goes no further than this table.”

“Rami, by now you must know I’m good at that.”

“Well, Jonathan tried to rape Rayna. I thank Allah that he did not succeed.”

Kamil looked at Rayna. “I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”

“I was lucky . . . now why don’t you all go into the library and play tawleh while I clean up.”

“No, no. We are not leaving you with this mess. You cooked. We clean. You will have your chance to inspect our perfect work afterward.” Following Rami’s lead, Eli and Kamil whisked Rayna from the kitchen.

“I should have a say in my own kitchen.”

“No micro-managing. Don’t be like our mother. And tomorrow we eat out. My treat.”

“And Thursday will be my treat,” Kamil chimed in.

* * *

The impeccably clean kitchen passed Rayna’s inspection. “You guys are good. How would you all like a permanent job?”

“I don’t know. It depends on how much you pay,” Kamil joked.

“Not much. You would starve . . .”

“Oh, I do not know about that, Eli. Rayna pays me pretty well. Do I look like I am starving?”