The Pandora Box (17 page)

“What do I do—what do I do?” Marion cried.

“Put the helm hard over while I get the rest of the sails down and start the motor.” Starr’s voice had the fear of death in it. “Don’t let them out of your sight—don’t take your eyes off them!”

If there had been more wind, the
Pandora
could have turned smartly and picked them up within minutes. Instead, she lumbered awkwardly, almost dead in the water, until Starr finally fired up the engine and maneuvered the yacht back around.

“I see Dee’s hat.” Marion pointed at the bit of yellow bobbing in the far-off distance. “But I can’t see Hawk at all.”

20

Honor Bound

“I commenced to review my life. How strange it all seems! One incident, if never so trifling, is but a link more to chain us to our unchangeable fate.”
~
Nellie Bly

Dee thrashed through the water, feeling it tug and push at her, as if its very substance were something alive, pulsating and trying to swallow her down. She was swimming strong and steadily along the surface, yet twice she gulped water when she opened her mouth to breathe. Unlike the placid waters of a lake, the sea was undulating up and down with a constant rhythm, lapping against her face and head from every direction.

Linked with the image of those snapping jaws that had seared into her mind, she was in a state near hysteria, and screamed at the sudden, terrifying feeling of being grabbed from behind. She kicked and struggled to get free.

“Hey, hold it—hold it!” Hawk swung her around to face him. “Where do you think you’re going, back to Frisco?”

“Hawk—oh, Hawk, the shark!”

“Forget the shark.” He hooked her around the waist with one arm and started to swim back toward
Pandora
with the other. “Just calm down and relax.”

“But―”

“Relax,” he said again. “Just lay back and float, or you’ll wear us both out before the boat gets turned around.”

“I can’t, I’ll sink!”

“No, you won’t, sugar.”

How could he sound so calm?

“Put your feet up and you’ll stay right on top. There…like that. Hardly any effort, see?”

“Don’t let go.”

“I’ve got you. Now we’re just going to move slow and easy. No hurries. We could do this all day if we had to.”

“But what if they…what if...”

“Don’t think about it. Just float.”

An engine came to life even though Dee could no longer see
Pandora
anywhere. Ten minutes later the sleek dark hull was slipping up alongside them.

Marion put the boarding ladder over the side, dragging Dee into the cockpit as soon as she emerged from the sea.

Starr cut the engine and let out his breath as if he had been holding it since they went into the water.

“That was too close! That was—” His mouth dropped open in an astonished stare when he was confronted by Dee’s clinging underclothes. “What kind of a get-up is that?”

Dee gasped and reached for the pink sweatshirt lying on the cushion where she’d left it.

Hawk ran a hand over his face to wipe the saltwater away, paused halfway through, and sighed so deeply it was almost a shudder. Then he went below without a word.

Dee felt her cold wetness soak into the dry sweatshirt she had thrown over her shoulders.

“He didn’t say anything,” she said to Marion. “He didn’t even yell at me.”

“You could have been killed!” Marion declared. “For the second time in three days, Dee Parker, you could have been killed! What if that shark had decided to eat you instead of dive down? And, Hawk—was amazing! He jumped right after you like there was no choice for him at all. I never saw anything like it!”

“I better at least go say thanks.” She untied the yellow southwester she had put on to shade her sunburnt nose, tossed it onto the seat, and headed down the companionway after him.

Hawk was in the galley, leaning with one hand on the counter and the other on an open bottle of brandy. There were drops of seawater dripping from his glistening hair, trickling down his tanned back and shoulders, running in rivulets from his cut-off jeans.

“Are you all right, Hawk?” she ventured.

“I will be in a minute.” He put the cap back on the bottle as if it took great effort to do so.

“I’d feel better if you’d yell at me.”

“That was too close, Dee. Too close!” He ran a hand through his wet hair. “I lost a friend like that a few years ago. Only by the time we got the boat turned around, we just...we just couldn’t find him. He waved to us as we drifted apart and we even tossed him a life ring to hold onto until we swung back around again. Can you believe that? We looked for two days...but we couldn’t find him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Where was your safety line?”

“I forgot to put it back on after I took off my—”

“You don’t take that safety line off for anything, baby—do you hear me? I don’t care if it’s a flat calm out there, you still―”

Dee reached out for him first.

The next minute she was in his arms, locked in an embrace that went beyond barriers and words. It was not contrived or pretend this time, but open and honest and incredibly intense. Suddenly, a dam had broken loose. All the tensions between them were converted into emotion so highly charged; she was startled by her own response. They held each other tight, as if the overwhelming need to hold could never be satisfied.

“Hawk...” she whispered longingly, moved by her impulses even before she realized them. And in response to that whisper, he lifted her off her feet until she could feel nothing but him.

She drew back suddenly, shocked, not only by her own strong feelings, but also his open willingness to oblige them. It was a moment of such intimacy that she wondered how it could have happened in broad daylight, in the casual surroundings of the galley. Especially when it had been the last thing in the world on her mind.

Hawk let her go without a word, but he held her a moment longer with his gaze. In that moment she saw that he knew her deepest feelings, that he had somehow felt them go through her at the same time she was experiencing them. And while they were new and mysterious to Dee, they were as easy for him to read as an open book.

“I didn’t mean to,” she apologized as she backed off. “I only wanted to thank you for...” She pulled the sweatshirt more tightly around her, as if it could shield her from that penetrating gaze. “For saving my life, Hawkins.”

“Well, I couldn’t just stand by and watch my wife drown,” he replied.

Dee murmured something about changing into dry clothes and tore herself away from the searing remark. But it followed her as intensely as if it had been Hawkins, himself. It echoed through her mind even as she stood alone in her cabin. It was an honest statement. But he had emphasized the word wife in such a way that she knew what he meant it to mean.

He was asking for more than a business arrangement.

She spent the rest of the afternoon having mental arguments with herself. Unable to sleep during her off-watch, she lay awake and tried to pray. She made decisions, changed her mind, then made them all over again. Why on earth had she done such a foolish thing? Marrying a ladies’ man! It wasn’t the kind of life she had been looking for all these years. She had dreamed of finding someone like herself, who cared for the down-trodden and wanted to make a difference in the world. She wanted someone who loved God and others as much as she did. Someone who would go to the ends of the earth for a fantastic cause, no matter how dangerous.

She had wanted a hero.

But none had ever turned up. Now in one crazy moment of weakness (yes, it was a moment of weakness) she had let down the guard she had so carefully kept around her heart all these years and allowed herself to be influenced by someone who, by his own admission, was simply floating aimlessly around the world, living the high life. Someone whose dreams she had felt obligated to save at the expense of her own. Was God really that literal when He said we should put others before ourselves? Who were the others?

Whoever they were, one thought became crystal clear. She had not been caught in this trap yesterday. She had been caught in it the day she had allowed herself to venture into those gray areas of integrity and been enticed away by what she saw there. Money. Adventure. And (to be honest) an incredibly exciting man. Whether she would have personally gone on the expedition if Henry Starr (who was old enough to be her father) had been the only captain of this boat, she wasn’t sure. What she was sure of, was that she was “unequally yoked” to a non-believer now. Something that led to nothing but misery, as she had heard so often in her growing up days.

As if having a pastor for a father wasn’t enough, she had four brothers who were following right along in his footsteps.

Why, if she hadn’t felt such a driving force to use her talent for reporting to help fight some of the corruption that was so prevalent these days, she would have had a hard time believing she was even part of the family. Now look at the fix she was in. Hadn’t her own mother always warned that a person could find something appealing in a monster if they lived with one long enough? Much less someone as handsome and beguiling as Wayne Hawkins happened to be.

Now he had saved her life.

He must care at least something for her if he had so selflessly risked his own life for hers. That he had done such a thing made her feel incredibly close to him. Incredibly grateful. Incredibly blessed to have a second chance at getting things right. Suddenly, one of her father’s sayings echoed in her mind. “People aren’t judged as much by how they feel,” he said, “as by how they make others feel. Always be careful with other’s feelings, girlie.”

She had become very vulnerable to Hawk’s feelings, somewhere along the line.

At dinnertime, it was Dee’s turn to cook. While she was frying hamburger and grating cheese for enchiladas, the others were on deck enjoying chips and cold drinks along with the pleasantries of idle conversation. Hawk came down for refills, and she halfway expected him to make some advance. He lifted a portion of the counter top that was the door to the refrigerator and took inventory. “No more cokes, Mare, just cherry, ginger ale, or beer.”

“Ginger ale, please,” came the reply. “Want any help down there, Dee?”

“No thanks,” Dee returned.

“Smells good.” Hawk reached over her shoulder to snatch a bite of cheese before he left.

It wasn’t until he was gone that Dee realized she was disappointed. What did she expect? That the first moment he caught her alone, he would sweep her up in his arms? The thought sent a shimmer of sweetness all through her. She remembered when they were passing in the narrow companionway, he put a momentary hand on her shoulder but, even though it sent shimmers through Dee, was nothing more than a casual politeness. Again, that night when the breeze brought a chill, he snapped the safety line onto her jacket as she put it on. He probably would have done the same thing for anybody.

Finally, Dee decided that she was over reacting, as well as over responding. Hawk’s ways were naturally outgoing and flirtatious, and she (in spite of her original resistance) had finally been taken in by them. So much for her afternoon of soul-searching. There would probably never be a need for the little speech she had rehearsed in her mind because, at the moment, she was the only one who was feeling this way.

By the time her late watch came around at ten, she had finally managed to recover some sense of balance. She brought her I-pod with all her favorite classical recordings on it, to absorb a little of its peace, and remind herself who she was. And one of Marion’s romances, too, in case she felt like trading that plan for a little out and out escape. So when she appeared on deck it was in much the same manner as she had taken over the watch every other night they had been at sea: friendly, talkative, but distinctly casual.

Only this time, Hawk was waiting for her.

21

Confessions

“He had the air and address of a gentleman… the sight both amused and dismayed me.”
~
Nellie Bly

With four people, the watch was three and a half hours long. The last person stayed on a half hour to make coffee and conversation until the next was fully awake and alert enough to take over. During the day it was casual, and one could hardly tell who was on or off. But the underlying routine was there. Those who had late night or early morning watches often took a nap in the afternoon. Dee liked the night watch best because it meant no one had to wake her. But so did everyone else, so they rotated.

Tonight, she heard the steady clicking of Marion’s laptop as she passed her cabin, and Starr’s rhythmic snoring as she passed by his before going outside. Up on deck, Hawk was reading one of Starr’s Louis L’Amour novels beneath the red glow of the tiny cockpit light. It was just bright enough to read by but wouldn’t affect night vision. He closed the book and set it aside when he saw her.

“Don’t let me disturb you,” Dee offered, “I’m wide awake.”

“Honey, you’ve been disturbing me all day. Come sit down and let’s talk.”

Considering the emotional roller coaster Dee had been on since the afternoon, she didn’t trust herself to get that close. If he so much as brushed a hand against hers, her feelings would go careening all over the place again. She took refuge in being as casual as he had been all day. “If it’s about the salmon pole,” she began, “I already told Starr I’d replace it.”

“Dee.”

“If it’s another lecture about the safety line, look…” She unhooked one of the neatly coiled lines from where it hung over a stanchion and clipped the free end onto a ring at the belt of her jacket. “I’m all set.” Then, without waiting for a reply, she went over to look at the compass to note their course. She barely had a chance to glance at the green luminous numbers when he reached out for the safety line and pulled her toward him.

“Don’t you think it’s about time we made some adjustments in our arrangement, sugar?” He brought her down on the seat beside him. “Move into my cabin with me, Dee.”