The Parlour (VDB #1) (27 page)

“Your posture is unfathomably appalling.”

I sigh again and collapse onto my arse, searching the room for wherever my robe is. The cream silk is suddenly dangled in front of me so I reach for it and gently drape it around my shoulders. “If I was to consider this emotional attachment, I have requirements of my own.” Of course he does. It couldn’t be a simple scenario of him sweeping me off my feet and professing undying love, could it?

“Which are?”

He crouches in front of me and runs his finger over my burning cheek, reminding me of the slap I just took. Then he continues onto my lips until he’s pushing his finger into my mouth, which I accept and suck on it like he’s a fucking lollipop.

“Keep your mouth sucking on that until I have finished, Lilah.” I nod weakly in response and gaze into his eyes. “There is only one person who deserves my respect enough to ask for that which you have just requested. He will always override you. Whatever he wants, he will get. That may or may not include your body. Do you understand?” I nod in reply. Clearly there’s no debating Mr. White. It’s not like the thought is unappealing, after all. “If I offer you my soul, Lilah, you must accept its deviances. I will not be your idea of faithful, I will not always treat you with that which you consider respect, and yet I will refuse to accept any form of dishonesty or disloyalty from you.” He can do what he wants, but I can’t? My mouth loosens around his fingers to object. His brow rises, and I start sucking again. “And lastly, Lilah James, if you believe for one moment that there will be a fairytale waiting at the end of this enchanting rainbow, you are much misguided. I will hurt you, endlessly. I will revel in your debasement and find new ways to consume you with every waking second. I am perilous for you, an entertainment you will need to withstand. The glimpses at decency will be few, and reserved only for my more caring moments.”

I have a sudden urge to change my mind, yet I keep sucking on his finger. Is that really what he expects me to accept? To gain access to his lips, I have to endure things no normal person would ever put up with? I can’t do that. No one in their right mind would do that, regardless of how wonderful their orgasms were. I begin to remove my lips from his finger, to back away from my request. I can feel the thought scaring the life out of me. That’s not a relationship; it’s a disaster. Quick as lightening, he forces another of his fingers in and pushes me backwards to the floor until he’s hovering above me and hauling upward on my teeth and chin, lifting my head from the floor and pulling me towards his face. I’m so shocked by the move that I just lay prone beneath him and stare up at the beginnings of a softer smile.

“If you accept those requirements, Lilah, I will give you my version of love. You can have it all if it pleases you to place yourself in my mind. You may lave on my lips, slumber within my arms, ask anything you require of me, even affairs of my heart. That is what you require of me, is it not?”

His fingers slowly withdraw at the same moment as his other hand gently cups the back of my head. He’s suddenly so gentle in his touch, like a new pair of hands have appeared and relegated the firmer ones to the back of our minds.

“Yes, but…” I splutter out, quietly.

“There are no buts, Lilah. Your beauty is worth my allegiance, your skin and mind worthy of my attention. However, I offer you all I can. To find my lips, you must first endure my madness. I know no other way to allow you in.”

Really?

“Oh.” He smiles as he cradles me and draws me closer to his mouth, licking his lips and still gazing deep into everything inside of me. I can feel him there, almost hear him tearing through me and trying to tell me not to listen to the bad bits because the good moments will be worth every second of the misery he might deliver. There isn’t another place on the planet I’d rather be. Just him and me, and another one of those eternal moments locking us together. His arm tightens around me and inches me closer again, a smirk now gracing his face as he draws his tongue over my wet lips and asks me to open for him. All I can feel is his heat and his hard body as it presses me into him. Oh God, this is going to be a mess, but just one more kiss, anything for another shot at those lips and that mesmerizing peace that settles within them. “You’re a count.” It’s random, I know, but it pops out anyway as I lick my lips and fall hopelessly into his eyes again.

“Mmm, Dracula.”

If I was looking for eternal moments, its nothing compared with what he gives me in the next minutes. His body slowly moulds itself to me as he lies his weight across me delicately and grinds his thigh into my crotch. Bliss lives in these moments. My whole being melts into him, our souls almost joining as he caresses me with soft strokes to my hair and subtle sweeps of his fingers across my skin. My robe is shrugged from me again and his hands find every part of my flesh with feather light touches, as if he’s suddenly become an angel in his deliverance of pleasure. I moan out beneath him and swirl my tongue with his warmth, endless tantalising insights into what he could be. Or maybe what he really is. My head twists and turns to get closer to him, deeper inside him. I can feel everything pouring out of him into me. We couldn’t be any closer if he was physically inside me. My own fingers softy run through his dark hair and draw him down toward me, then find their way to his back and softly caress their way across his scars. Each one is a ripple of his memories, ones he’s going to give to me. Just us.

I feel him digging into my hip bone as his hand grasps my wrist and increases the pressure. It’s his brutal hold; there’s nothing caressing about it anymore as his fingers wrap around it and push it above my head. Oh, God.

“Raise your other hand, Lilah. Put your trust in me,” he rasps out, trailing his other hand downwards and beginning to bite at my collarbone. Put my trust in him? I haven’t even said yes to any of this yet. Although that’s just a formality, I’m sure. What is he going to do? I couldn’t care less. My arm is raising itself to join the other one before I’ve even finished my thought process. Whatever he wants – if it gets me more of those lips, those eyes, and that feeling, he can have whatever he wants.

Something begins to wrap around my arms and I feel my frame being pushed along the floor, levered by his weight as the carpet grates on my spine, then my hands hit something cold. Not that I’m thinking of anything other than his lips and tongue. They’re still trailing across my mouth, and his teeth are beginning to bite gently, promising all kinds of pain and new sensations. Oh fuck, I can feel my body starting to climb again, and I close my eyes to let it happen. That humming begins to intensify and calls for more as he grinds himself into me again, and again, and…

His weight abruptly leaves my body, so I slowly open my eyes to look up at him, still in a state of near delirium. He’s standing there above me, sneering slightly and sipping at his hipflask. I frown in response and wonder what’s going on. I try to move but find my hands stuck to something. I turn to see them bound by my robe tie to the leg of the breakfast bar. I look back at him in confusion, wrenching a bit at the restriction. There is no give. I’m sure it’s not coming undone any time soon.

“What are you doing?” I ask, still struggling against the tie as I watch him put his shirt back on and begin buttoning it up. His face is completely devoid of emotion. He looks nonplussed, as if he’s just terminated any connection we had.

“What work are you doing for Alexander, Lilah?”

My mouth opens with nothing but air coming out. Has he just tied me up so he can get me to tell him what I’m doing? But what about those moments together? How could he dismiss that and just switch moods like this?

“Take this off me,” I snap out in irritation. Fucking playing me for a fool does not go down well and rage begins to radiate within me. How fucking dare he?

“No,” he replies smoothly. “Tell me what he has you up to or I shall force your honesty from you. I have many ways to do so.”

“Fuck you.” It’s all I’ve got at the moment. Fucking arsehole.

“I am neither amused nor enamoured by the use of foul language. Only when my cock is buried inside you are you given permission to disgrace your mouth. This is lesson one. Are you prepared, Lilah? You wanted this, did you not? I told you my lips come with requirements. This is one of them.”

Shit.

Hmm… Lilah James.

He watched her writhe and strain against the tie with an amused smirk firmly plastered in place. The world was so full of people like Lilah. There weren’t many with her beauty or intelligence, but his ability to cajole someone into doing his bidding never ceased to amaze him. Although, he had to admit it had been somewhat harder to end the thought of fucking her and deal with the matter at hand than he’d expected. But he needed to know what it was that Alexander had her working on so secretly.

“Are you going to tell me or would you prefer I beat it out of you?” She glared up at him and twisted her body more ferociously. It was a temptation his cock was struggling to ignore. “I would suggest you withdraw your efforts, Lilah. You will only harm yourself.”

“Fucking arsehole,” she spat at him. Naughty. He raised a brow and picked up his cane. The ebony sank into his grip beautifully. Elizabeth. He twirled it in his hands and watched Lilah kicking out to try and pull herself upright. She was quite special, and had requested his undivided attention, an honour he was, quite mysteriously, very pleased to acquiesce to. His eyes traced the length of her and gazed at the tension she was creating for herself. She knew nothing about what she required. Her reactions to pain were perfection, laced with an innocence only she could have. An air of grace overlying a slut’s needs. And she fought. She fought like a snake, her body slithering on the tiled floor and thrashing for its freedom. And while she managed to constrict herself around him in some manner, whoever Lilah James was, she didn’t require freedom, she needed freeing.

He crouched and drew the cane along her thigh. She instantly kicked out again.

“Lilah, you nodded when I asked for your honesty. Was I not clear enough?”

“I can’t fucking tell you,” she snapped, halting her activities and blowing out a breath in frustration. He smirked and nodded. Alexander had presumably warned her not to. She was being loyal, it seemed. Unfortunately for her, she was giving her loyalty to the wrong individual.

“He is a little daunting, yes?” She just stared back and kept her perfect legs clamped together. “It is his eyes, hmm? And the thought of what those hands may deliver should one not behave appropriately. He is quite frightening, yes? Beautifully so, of course.”

She huffed out another breath and managed to scoot her delicious backside upright. He glanced at her wrists and watched them clinging to the steel leg. They were gripping tightly. Whatever was about to come out of her mouth was a lie.

“I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want any of what I asked you for anymore.” He smirked again and felt an odd sense of relief flood through him.

“Do you believe you can rescind such a request, Lilah? This is most unfortunate for you as I am disinclined to allow your escape,” he replied, getting up and heading for the kitchen area to retrieve a large jug. He found one in the cupboard and filled it to the brim with water then returned and tugged on her stunning little chin until she looked up at him. “What are you doing for Alexander?” She shook her head and tried to pull away. Stupid girl. He placed the jug on the counter and pinched her nose, wedging his cane into her teeth at the same time and pressing his knee into her chest to pin her against the steel. Her instant gasp of surprise as she panted through the ebony had his cock screaming for relief. “Once more, Lilah. Hmm?” She shook her head again so he began to pour the water into her open lips. She coughed and spluttered as the water tumbled and she tried to swallow it down. More bubbles of air popped as she gagged on it and continued trying to find a way to swallow it. Her face twisted in his hand so he let go and increased the pressure on the cane to hold her still. “Are you ready to tell me?” She choked and coughed again, still shaking her head. He looked at the jug. It was nearly empty, so he simply poured the rest in and returned to refill it. She coughed in the background and panted for air as he waited for the water. He considered whether he should use the bath instead. “How is the choking, Lilah, hmm? Comfortable? Your gag on this is not nearly as pleasant as on my cock, but I will have my honesty from you.” He was by her again and shoving the cane back in before she could gain enough air to breathe proficiently. He began to pour once more, this time faster, pushing her head back to ease the flow of the water into her lungs. Her garbled screams rent the air around him, filling it with perversions and illicit daydreams. His cock hardened again, and he considered fucking her while she was submerged. An interesting proposition, something to be toyed with in the future. The tanks at Eden were quite endearing in a depraved way. Her face suddenly went slack and he gazed down at her grey eyes as the water still poured over her. Beauty shone back at him. They sparkled with something. It wasn’t fear. It wasn’t even need. It was resolve. And as her coughing stopped, and her choking stopped, he realised she hadn’t just given up fighting him or decided she’d lost a battle. She was simply refusing to allow him the pleasure of reacting to his taunts. He frowned at the thought and found himself falling into her mind, or rather tumbling into a serenity only she was able to cause. Captivating, beautiful, peaceful – yet another one of their moments.

He stopped pouring and stared at her as she eventually spluttered up some water and kept her eyes trained on his. Even in this, she wouldn’t remove her gaze, and for a second he saw Lucinda staring back at him, eating him from the inside out as she used to. She had somehow managed to find something in that black hole inside and pull it to the forefront of his mind. However, she had managed it when he was an untrained, gangling teenager. Lilah was somehow doing it to him as a grown man.

“What do you have that I want, Lilah?” he mused, mainly to himself, picking up her chin and feeling the water there. She just kept gazing while panting and beginning to reclaim a regular breathing pattern. There was nothing in her face to show that she was scared, nor cared about what had just happened to her, only that she was staring into a consuming abyss that she had no intention of denying. A strong woman indeed. He pushed her dark hair out of her face and reverently tucked it behind her ears, grazing his fingers back across her reddened cheeks. The fact that she would have drowned rather than disclose Alexander’s secret only raised her in his esteem. Loyal. “Other than this, does he have a hold over you?” Because if the man had fucked her he might well strangle the bastard. Then fuck his dead corpse.

“He has my loyalty for the time being,” she snarled, continuing to hold her head up and face him as she twisted her chin in his grip. It didn’t answer the fucking question well enough.

“Has he been inside your cunt?”

“No,” she snapped, her eyes widening and disgust flying across her features. “I just, I can’t tell you. I won’t tell you anything. Not yet.”

He narrowed his eyes and then let go of her to back away. As flawless as she may have been, he wouldn’t let Alexander have this hold over him at the moment. It was confusing enough with their own situation to deal with. He couldn’t play this game of cat and mouse with another person who elicited an emotional response from somewhere deep inside of him. Controlling his urges around Alexander was hard enough work. Having to do that twice over with Lilah, when she was under Alexander’s control, would be impossible. He respected her for it, but with that respect came the realisation that no matter how much he may have been intrigued by her, they could not happen. Not the way she required it, anyway.

He turned and pulled his discarded coat on, suddenly more tired than he’d felt in a long time. He was exhausted, and desperate to untie her and carry her to the bed to sleep with her again. He found himself running his hand across his eyes and pinching his brow, trying to find some clarity hiding within his turmoil-ridden thoughts. Why was she able to interfere with him in this way? He had a thousand women and men waiting for him at the club. Any one of them would have been willing to do anything he required of them, and yet his body and mind longed to slip beneath cool sheets and hold her close, let her tend his wounds and drown out some of the images that, even now, occasionally haunted his veins with regret.

“Lilah, I accept your request that this should not continue,” he eventually said, untying her wrists quickly and heading for the door. She mumbled something, but he kept walking. He had to before this became intolerably difficult.

“Did you hear me? You’re a fucking coward,” she snapped from behind him. He swivelled around again to find her standing there, naked, with the remnants of the water still dripping along her lithe frame, and rubbing at her wrists while still managing to eclipse the room. She had been near drowned and yet she still had the audacity to stand up to him? He should beat her for the cheek alone.

“Do not toy with your luck. I am in no mood for childish games.”

“Games? Your whole life is a fucking game. Look at you. Is growing up on the agenda at any point?”

He was so stunned by the outburst, watching her face distorting into a scowl of disgust, that he simply stood and watched her as she stood perfectly still. She was different as she glowered at him, suddenly stronger, wiser maybe. “You are the most appealing man I have ever met, but you’re a fucking coward who runs from his problems rather than facing them head on,” she said slowly, methodically, as if she had been weighing the conversation in her mind long before she announced it. “Have you thought about that kiss in the park as much as I have? Or was it just another fucking game?” She cocked a brow and let that half-amused smile settle on her lips again. “Hmm? See, we can all be direct when we choose to be. My life before all of this required me to fight, Pascal. Bitterly cold streets and men raping me, using me. You pouring water into my face is not nearly as scary, believe me. And now I’ve been given this,” she continued, waving her arm at the apartment, “so that I can do something I’m good at, by a man who seems to believe it important enough to keep you in the dark about. Given his clear love for you, which believe me, I cannot account for at all right now, it should be pretty relevant, don’t you think?

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

“So, if you think the correct thing to do is to walk away from people who love you, then fine, go. I’m not stopping you. The door is right there.”

He watched her sneer and felt the tension in the room change. It was all her. Her mouth, her cheekbones, her grey eyes, the way her frame had changed. All her. He began to realise what was happening as his mouth opened to chastise her for it. She held her finger up and stormed toward him, her tits bouncing and her wide mouth contorting into an image of angelic bliss as those eyes narrowed to slits of pent-up anger. He stared at the vision and completely lost himself for a moment, almost ready to drop to the floor and worship whatever power this was that she suddenly had over him. His field of vision centred to nothing but her small frame coming at him. Everything was her as she owned each and every thought consuming him.

“How much do you need to fuck me? Is that cock of yours throbbing as much as my cunt is? You run from your inability to deal with issues. It’s weak, and completely unacceptable from a man such as yourself. Why don’t you just do what you want to, rather than try to play games with yourself? Hmm? Because you’re not fucking playing with me,” she spat, fury lacing every syllable as she slammed her palm across his face.

The world spun for a second or two as he let the impact linger and pulled in a long, cleansing breath. The sting of it shuddered across his whole body, allowing the confusion to dissipate to nearly nothing at all.

“Again,” he said automatically, without any thought.

She hit him again. She didn’t even ask why. She simply rallied another beautiful blow at his face and watched as he let the impact take him away again. Minutes passed as they stared at each other. He didn’t know if she knew what was happening, whether she could feel the power exchange coursing his veins. However, as his own stomach dropped with the familiar feeling, he knew. He could feel it calling for more with every pulse of his own blood.

“You need this?” she asked quietly, a frown of concern now etched across her features.

“Yes. Again,” he breathed out, so she did it again. She did it until his face stung and pain began to render his body and mind silent. Too long had he gone without this. Alexander’s occasional beatings were impeccable, but the weekly offering he’d once had from Lucinda was necessary for survival. And that was now gone.

“You really are fucked up,” she cut in, her body looking more appealing than it ever had.

“Yes, keep going,” he said again as he stripped his coat away from his shoulders and fell to the floor in front of her.

“I… I don’t know how to do that.”

“Try, Lilah,” he replied, pulling his belt from his trousers and handing it up to her. She took it and looked at it in confusion.

“You want me to hit you with this?”

“I want you to beat me with it until my skin bleeds. Do it across my scars. It will speed the momentum.”

“But–”

“Don’t think, Lilah. Do. That venom that you just spat at me, employ it with your body weight instead. You can’t hurt me anymore than I want you to.” She raised a brow and looked at the belt again, then instinctively wrapped it over into a loop. He nodded at her and turned to brace himself on the door. “Please.”

He didn’t know how many times she hit him, but the last strike was as severe as any Lucinda could deliver. Perhaps she didn’t have her artistry, her savagery or her training, but Lilah James delivered precise blows, and he near wept as he leant on the door and let the feeling consume everything. His body crumbled inside, wiping out all the control, all the fakery, all the façade. This was just Pascal and his inability to look after everything in his world, to protect it all and ensure its safety. Years of torment, years of regrets, years of despicable visions, all dispersing inside and being breathed out in delirium until the next time he needed the release, until it once again rendered him incapable of making a decision for the best.