The Passion of Mademoiselle S. (2 page)

Forgive me, darling, if this note is too brief…I am short of time, because you know I would have plenty to say to you if only I could!

Today you will have only tender thoughts from me, only a kiss on your beloved lips and your pretty brown eyes, but I shall be by your side in spirit. And you, beloved, will you think of me? Yes, I hope so, and I do hope to have a little note from you in Monday's post.

Darling, I should like to see you one evening this week if at all possible because I so long for your touch that it will be too endless to wait until Saturday.

I want another taste of the passionate moments of our last meeting…the memory of your touch is peculiarly unsettling to me, and I want to be in your arms again feeling the wonderful sensations you give me. Loved one, I want you to love me with all the ardor of your desire, I want you to make me come furiously with your perverse couplings. Beloved darling, tell me that, like me, you want to feel my touch again, tell me also that you are happy in my arms, so very happy, and that you love me…

Be good, my adored lover. Keep your perverted fondling for me, keep it for me alone, I want to love you like that forever and ever.

Goodbye, my beloved little god. Till Monday I hope!

Give me your wonderful body, I want to hold it in my arms, hold it tight until I am imbued with its intoxicating smell. I am pressing my lips to yours in a deep kiss that comes from the bottom of my heart, my heart, which is filled with you, nothing but you.

All my most tender thoughts, my loved one. I love you.

Simone

My darling love,

How wonderful yesterday evening was…All that time spent close to you had aroused me, and your
pneumatique
^*
was enough to intoxicate me altogether. All those passionate words were deliciously exciting, and once I was in my great big bed in the dark of my own room, I was not very well behaved. I perfumed my whole body before slipping between those cool sheets, as if you were to come and join me there.

With my head on my pillow I conjure images of my darling little god. I run one hand slowly over my entire body, which gradually starts to quiver. My hand moves from my breasts down to my thighs, drifting briefly into the warm pelt and then sliding farther down. Under the effects of a double fondling, a boundless sense of delight steals over every inch of me. I am shivering with pleasure at this stage because I am thinking of you with all my might. When I come it is so powerful I have to restrain myself from crying out. Charles, darling Charles, yes, tomorrow I shall treat you to the enticing performance you so long to see. When I reach my devastating climax, you will take all of me so I have no time to recover, so that a second climax still stronger than the first carries me deeper into pleasure.

Tomorrow, darling beloved, we can act out all our fantasies.

I have to stop again. I do not have time to say everything I should like to say.

Till later, my loved one. I love you.

Simone

*
Pneumatiques,
better known by the diminutive term
pneus,
were a very Parisian means of transmitting mail. They were devised in 1866 by Henri Rouart, a painter, inventor, and industrialist, in order to provide a link between the Grand Hotel near the opera house and the Bourse (the Paris stock exchange). Aside from this initial usage, they began to be used more widely in 1879 and were not phased out until 1984, supplanted by faxes and then emails. Some 120 post offices had the infrastructure to send letters via a system of compressed air tubes, traveling up to one kilometer per minute. The user would buy a prestamped sheet from a post office and could write up to twenty lines on one side of the sheet; this was then folded by sticking together the edges, and the address was written on the other side. The tubes of compressed air formed a network all over Paris, and only minutes after the letter had been sent a postman would be on hand to deliver the
pneu
to the addressee. In its day it was a means of communicating in “real time.” Although they have disappeared from modern-day post offices, such systems are still in use in some French institutions and large government offices. When I was a junior diplomat at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, once or twice a year it was part of your service to do a night shift in a very spartan room next to the minister's palace. You would be awakened throughout the night by the horrendous noise of the plastic tubes containing emergency cables that would fall into their compartments just above the small bed. An inconvenience that has now been forgotten, thanks to the emergence of more silent, electronic devices.

TUESDAY, 31 JULY

My dear darling,

Thank you for your last long letter. You are a darling writing to me like that, it makes me so happy when I see the little white envelope in the box! I too would have been very sad had you not replied straightaway…I love you! My dear love, I simply cannot get away from here before Sunday evening. Believe me, my beloved, just like you I ardently long for our next tryst. Every ounce of my being is straining toward you, calling to the exquisite lover that you are, that you will always be. No, darling love, I shall never tire of you, you can be sure of that. I have been too happy in your arms and I already know what pleasure I shall feel when you take me again…I am already envisioning our next meeting. You will make me suffer cruelly, my body belongs to you and it will squirm beneath your blows, you will hear me begging for mercy…And your longing for me will be all the more violent because I shall press my skin against yours, I shall wrap all of you in my quivering thighs, my mouth will seek out your lips to bruise them with fierce kisses. My loved one, you will take me the way you like best, and our passionate embrace will transport us both to the boundless pleasure that only such embraces can bring. The most perverse of couplings, you say? What of it, darling Charles, what I want above all else is for you to be happy in my arms. So I am at your orders, my darling master! If you only knew how I long to nestle in your arms! I so want to be back beside your body, which has afforded me such ecstasies…

Darling loved one, just you wait and see how we love each other after this long separation, so close to each other but unable to be united…Oh! Why can you not be free this evening? What wonderful times we would spend together in each other's arms, in the quiet half-light of this big bedroom, pressed up against each other after the wild ecstasy that leaves us both powerless; when our violent mutual desire has transported us to supreme pinnacles of pleasure, how marvelous we shall feel, my love, resting in this big bed…We must wait till Saturday next to savor such wild embraces. I am fretting over something, darling. You see, I do wonder where we can meet once my family has returned…For I do not believe we could part so hastily, my love; you may not be able to tear yourself away from me, but neither can I turn away from your touch…we shall have to think about this problem. We can talk about it in Paris—would you mind? My love, I must go. Write me a long letter I can read before I leave here. I have not had any photographs taken of myself, my darling.

Goodbye, darling treasure, I send you my most fervent kisses all over, everywhere. And I shall say till Monday, my loved one.

I love you helplessly, my adorable lover.

Your Simone

FRIDAY, 11 A.M.

My darling friend,

This is also the last letter you will have from me. In two days I take the train for Paris,
^*1
toward you, my love, whom I cannot wait to hold to my heart after such a long absence. You cannot imagine how I have missed you over these twenty-three days spent far from you. Many a day I was sad despite the beautiful landscape—all its charms combined left me unmoved! Were it not for your dear letters telling me you love me, allowing me to relive all our most wonderful moments, I should have been sadder still!

Do you want me to talk to you of our love? There are no words, however eloquent, to express all the passion, all the fire, all the madness contained within those two words: “our love.” We share such beautiful times together, we taste such ecstasies that it would be ill-advised even to attempt to describe them! What more can I tell you, my dear love, other than I feel I must be dreaming when I think of everything that makes up “our love.” You have allowed me to experience unforgettable sensations, you and all your perversity have managed to wake in me goodness knows what secret instincts that now make me long for new, still more perverted and powerful pleasures. You are a master in the very delicate art of lovemaking and I too am so happy, so happy that I have managed to secure you.

I imagined nothing during this absence, nothing, I simply remembered. And I know that when our bodies are together again, when your skin comes close to mine, such a shudder of desire will steal through me that it will dictate every possible excess to me! Yes, I love you with an absolute love, I love you with my heart but also and especially with my senses, with my flesh, and I want all of you, do you hear, dear love. I do not want any secret recesses of your body to escape my touch and my kisses! It is a madness that suddenly grips me when I have you, here, quite naked and so beautiful in my arms. Oh, beloved darling, let me do it, let me stroke you all over, everywhere. I want to kiss all of you so wildly, your smooth white skin, these firm thighs, this stomach and this adorable chest where my blazing cheek seeks out cooler skin. If you want to experience devastating sensations, talk, dictate, and I shall obey. Happy, so happy to hear you groaning with desire and pleasure.

While my heart flutters with delicious agitation, I am here waiting for your first embrace. You will make me suffer, you say. So be it, but tell me you will be happy in my arms, that I shall hear your cry of victory, your male cry, when you have me in your arms, battered, beaten, exhausted!

I belong to you, my beloved lover, with all the might of flesh intoxicated by your brutal ministrations…As you know, I accept your fierce passions in advance if they can unite us all the more completely. I too have tasted the most voluptuously intense sensations in your arms. I have climaxed with all my might under your blows and brutalities. Mostly I have climaxed from your skilled possession of me. I want to experience such climaxes again, the likes of which I have never known in the ordinary coupling, which leaves me cold and numb. I
never
want to experience it with you, do you hear? Because
I know
we would both be disappointed. And it would lower us to the level of ordinary lovers while we currently glide through forbidden planes, we are lawless, depraved, passionate; all things that make up “our love.”

Alas, dear darling love, I cannot free myself of my duties to savor exquisite moments in your arms! It is as impossible for me as it is for you. I have to go to the office at eight in the morning, as soon as my train arrives. We shall have to wait till Saturday, and be very patient, my loved one! But if you were kind you could pass by the office
^*2
for five minutes to see me, or you could telephone
^*3
so that at least I could hear your voice!

I must leave you, I shall quickly take this letter to the letter box. Goodbye, darling love. I am holding you in the wildest embrace!

Your Simone