The Path of a Christian Witch (12 page)

Living in the World: To Worship, to Seek, to Love

To Worship

To raise my own cup: ritual and celebration

Part of our third-year training was to lead a public ritual. Until then we had participated in many rituals—we even had some active part in their design—but these had always been small and among friends and fellow students. Now, we were faced with the task of designing a ritual for the great feast of Yule, the winter solstice, and it was to be open to anyone who wished to attend.

We had been placed in a group of four students. No association was as fortunate as ours. I found myself with a group of women who believed in the same precepts that I did. One of them actually had Christian affinities, but this group went beyond that. We all believed in simplicity and in unity. None of us needed the ritual drama and the extensive tools to build up a ritual. We believed in our own energy, and that was all we needed to celebrate. Different though we may be, we were united in purpose and in dedication.

Yule is celebrated around December 21st, time of the winter solstice, the longest night of the year. It is traditional to encourage the sun to come up by lighting candles throughout the night. We decided to focus our ritual on the celebration of light. We did not focus on the various mythologies, the position of the planets that night, or on specific quarter calls. We did not focus on things that would divide us. Yule is a time of light in the darkness. We could all relate to that. The light. This would be a ritual of fire and of hope.

We arrived early to our ritual space above the store. We swept and decorated the feast table. We gathered around our altar and sent out our most heartfelt energy. This was to be a sacred space, and we were about to become Priestesses of our ritual. We were both excited and deeply moved by the beauty of what was about to take place. I sent a wave of earth, air, fire, and water around the room in final purification. Then, all four of us retreated to the side room to balance our energy and focus our purpose. We could hear people starting to gather in the ritual room. Their energy was already filling the room.

We walked in, holding hands. We wore long skirts and our hips were draped with ornate scarves. With each step, we left a trail of bells behind us, a trail of vibrant sound and energy. We took our place in the middle of the circle. We were submerged in complete darkness. A soft music was playing. I stated our purpose for this night: “Yule is a time for joy and hope, for that is the light that carries us in our darkest moments.”

Our voices rose up as one: “As the sun guides us through our days, so our hope guides us in our darkness. Our hope shines in the dark and spreads unto the world. May there be light.”

As our energy flowed into our central pillar on the altar, our sister struck the match that dispelled all darkness. We turned around to see the face of those gathered around us. We made our way to the outside of the circle, turning clockwise, and we summoned the forces of fire with all our might. Each step we took set the floor on fire, heating us with the heat of passion and the courage to overcome all obstacles. The circle was cast. Each one of us then proceeded to call our quarters, the elements, who would protect the gates and supply us with the spirit of stability, inspiration, courage, and compassion. Sara picked up the pillar candle and wished peace and light to everyone. The fire was then passed around the circle as each participant lit her candle. We continued our invocations:

Holy one of many faces,

Father, lover, magician, warrior, teacher

Light of our days

Join us in our longest night

And fulfill our hopes

Holy Lady of many names,

Mother, lover, seer

Light of our nights

Be with us in our darkness

And bring us peace.

Candace continued, “It is customary at this time of the year to exchange gifts with our loved ones.” She held up a cast-iron cauldron. “This is the cauldron of the Goddess, from which all good things flow. May the Lord and Lady’s light shine on us all.”

Each participant then walked up to the altar to deposit a slip of paper with a wish written on it. Once everyone had finished, the cauldron was passed around and each person picked a wish at random. We all took a few moments to reflect on what this particular wish meant for us. I gave a sideways glance to Sara, showing her the paper I had gotten. It was her wish. She smiled and showed me hers. It was mine.Strange magic, indeed.

Filled with fire and light, we looked at each other. We were full to bursting. The room was on fire and our skin was aflame. With great exhilaration we lifted our arms to the sky. This rite was done.

___

Our intention was to have a very simple ritual but one filled with energy. The feedback we got from our co-celebrants was fantastic. There was no doubt that the energy was palpable, the wall of fire strong, and the space felt secure. We were prepared emotionally and magically. We were the most important instrument of this ritual. We understood each other and we became one presiding force. The importance of this preparation is what I learned that day.

To worship is to give thanks and reconnect to something greater than ourselves. This greatness is not only above us. It is around us and within us. Kabbalists and Gnostics speak of a divine spark within each of us. The sole desire of this spark is to be reunited with its source. Acts of worship raise those sparks so that they can, for a moment, remember what it was like to be one with the Divine.

As a Witch and a Christian, I focus my worship on that which unites us all. I celebrate the cycles of nature and the Christian holidays. I celebrate these within my church community, within Pagan circles, or as a solitary. Until we can unite around a single altar, I remain a gypsy, finding remembrance wherever I can. I still attend church services and partake in the sacraments.

When we unite to say the Our Father, there is truly a sense of communion with generations of people who put their faith in Christ. No matter the divides between church politics and faith, services are a way to sit together and remember the teachings that we received from Jesus. I have been blessed with priests who are truly open minded, true examples of devotion to the core of Christ’s message. I would never attend services in a church where the priest shows bigotry, hatred, or discrimination toward any group of people. I have stopped going to church at times for that very reason. During such times, I would make special pilgrimages to sanctuaries where I could sit in peaceful contemplation and reconnect with my source.

I know full well that I could be excommunicated in a second if it was known that I call myself a Witch. I know, in my core, that nothing I do betrays the essence of what Jesus taught us. If a priest would take the time to really listen to what I have to say, to my vision of Christ’s message and my way of celebrating it, I know that he would find little to say against it. But the inquisitors are still among us, and there is little a woman can do against them. As was the case with all the others who have faced persecution at their hands, the Lord is my judge. I pray that the way I live my life pleases him. Little else matters.

The Yule ritual showed me that it is easy to bring people together if you focus on the elements that unite instead of trying to dodge the elements that divide. As a Christian, so much separated me from these people. But as a human wanting to reconnect with the world and with the divine light, we were indeed all sisters. Our wordings and symbols might be different sometimes, but underlying it all we have the same aspirations. That is what conjures walls of fire and whirlwinds of energy. It is a coming together. When celebrating with others, we only need to focus on what unites us: love, hope, the need for safety and protection, health, overcoming obstacles, finding one’s way, the sense of belonging . . . We all vibrate to these frequencies.

Christian and Pagan celebrations

Through Witchcraft, the true calling of my soul, which is to become clergy, is finally a reality. I can surround myself with my family and my community and celebrate life at its deepest meaning. I lead and co-celebrate rituals of my making that both represent and transcend this world.

There are a million reasons to celebrate. We are, after all, social beings, and we are drawn to one another for support and meaning. It is part of what we are. Most of these celebrations are conducted by our religious leaders. But the true celebration is within each and every one of us. We celebrate birth, changes in our bodies and in our social roles, death, unions, achievements . . . We still remember deep in our collective unconscious a time when we celebrated the bounty of nature, the rhythm of the seasons, and the sanctity of the land.

It was not until I was involved in Witchcraft that I realized how much we had abdicated our right to lead our own celebrations. We surrendered it to our religious leaders, as if we had no right or competence to decide how to celebrate our Holy Days. But rituals are built with our hands and hearts. We have forgotten the age-old art of building rituals and calling to the powers that surround us.

There was a time when we used to build rituals to celebrate every aspect of our lives. We are priests and priestesses. Our spirituality isn’t the property and responsibility of the clergy. I am the only one responsible for the matters of my soul and those of my family. Christian Witchcraft is a practice of daily manifestations. We can take our spirituality back into our homes and shape it to celebrate the greatest and the simplest of our realities.

At first glance, it seems difficult to bridge Christian and Pagan celebrations. After all, Christian celebrations are centered on events in Christ’s life, which are completely excluded from Pagan festivities. Likewise, Pagan celebrations are linked to mythologies from various pantheons, often Greek, Egyptian, or Celtic. Luckily, most Pagan celebrations are closely linked to Christian holidays, both in date and history. This is a legacy of the Church’s crusade to Christianize the world. In an effort to convert the common folk, Pagan celebrations were given a Christian twist so that people would continue to celebrate and be inadvertently brought into a Christian framework.

The Druids portray a great example of the merging of the Pagan/magical system and the Christian one. Most of the early Celtic saints belonged to the privileged class of leaders, jurists, clergy, and scholars, part of the Druid caste. Being people of influence in their societies, these Druids preserved some of their magical traditions while living under Christian rule. The new religion (which was Christianity at the time) incorporated the celebrations and the holy sites by giving them Christian names. Saint Brigit of Kildare was raised as a Druid before she converted to Christianity. She founded her order on the site of a sacred oak and based it on oak symbology. She carried on many of the traditional Druid roles—such as healer, teacher, and clergy—while devoted to the Christian faith. In the Druid, we have the perfect example of the marriage of Paganism and Christianity.

I have also witnessed the incorporation of Christian elements in traditional Cree rites of passage. The walking-out ceremony symbolizes the first steps of a child on the earth outside the tipi. The parents and grandparents take the child out at sunrise and make him or her walk around the tipi for the first time. At these ceremonies, I have heard the grandparents lead people in prayer, saying the Our Father and singing hymns. This is just another example to show that it is easy to include both earth-centered and Christian elements in rituals.

The Wheel of the Year

I visualize my practice on a spectrum with Paganism on one end and Christianity on the other. The rituals I build can be situated at any point on this spectrum, going from reading Scripture and centering on actual Judeo-Christian events to celebrating the greatness of God through the manifestation of nature. Most of the time, I situate myself in the middle and focus on the elements I find most important at that moment. As my family grows, we are also fashioning rituals that have significance to all of us, building in this way our own clan tradition.

There are eight Pagan Sabbats (or celebrations) completing the Wheel of the Year.

Yule
—celebrated December 21st (the winter solstice). On this longest night of the year, Pagans celebrate the feast of light, encouraging the rising of the sun with fire and candles. This symbolism is closely linked to the birth of Christ, light of the world, celebrated on December 25th. On Yule, I light candles to symbolize light in times of darkness. This is my celebration of hope, one of the powers that fuels me in my daily life. As the star shone in Bethlehem, so does my candle dispel the darkness in my own life and lift my spirit to the hope of better days. Yule is a time of quiet joy, for though we are at the peak of darkness, our inner light keeps us strong. This light carries to Christmas a few days later, which is largely a family affair. We attend Mass, where children reenact the birth of Christ. Then, we eat to bursting and revel in the excitement of the children opening their gifts.

Imbolc
—celebrated February 2nd, commemorating the Goddess sleeping under the snow and the efforts of her God to wake her softly with gifts and flowers. We can still see this wooing at St. Valentine’s Day, day of lovers. But there is also another, very significant Christian celebration on this day. It is the feast of Candlemas. It is the feast of Mary’s presentation to the temple, where she was to serve and weave the temple veil. It is also forty days after Christmas, which coincides with the time when Mary, according to Jewish practice, would have been ritually pure following Jesus’ birth. So, this day is essentially dedicated to Mary in her Virgin and Mother aspects. It was celebrated by lighting candles, hence the name of Candlemas. It also coincides with the feast of St. Brigid, who was dedicated to the healing of women, midwifery, and child care. This feast commemorates the promise of spring, of life, and of women’s power as guardians of this life. It is a great time for a women’s circle, where we can acknowledge the Goddess in each of us. We can look at each other and truly say, “You are Goddess.” I also take a moment to recite a rosary, taking time to sit with my Goddess and recite her praise. I meditate on the mysteries of her life and let her wisdom fill me.