Authors: Deborah Chester
“I do not insult you,” Urmaeor said. “I mention these things to persuade you.”
Shadrael's hand went to his dagger. “Get out of my head, damn you!”
“Why? You are a man of courage. You would not have dared the Kiss of Eternity otherwise.”
“It takes no courage to commit folly.”
“Have you lost pride in the ultimate risk? No, Commander. Tell no such lie. Had you no courage, you would not have won the medal you wear at your throat. That you wear it still, despite your public disgrace, is an announcement of how proud you are to bear the illustrious rank of praetinor. Remember that day of triumph. Remember it!”
Shadrael frowned, trying to shut out Urmaeor's voice, but memories were swamping his mind, memories of the day he'd celebrated his greatest military victory with a triumph through the streets of Imperia. The people thronging the avenue had roared out his name. And Kostimon's own hands had hung the medal around his neck. The emperor's yellow eyes had met his, one warrior to another, and the emperor had even smiled.
“A worthy hero, who serves us well,” Kostimon had proclaimed him. “Praetinor, behold your people!”
As he spoke, the emperor lifted his hand, and a tide of sound filled the air as the masses cheered and cheered Shadrael's name.
Even now, Shadrael could hear the noise, feel the baking heat. The wind stirred his hair as he bowed to the emperor. How brief that moment of glory had been, yet how satisfying to stand shoulder to shoulder with the emperor, ruler of the world. And as the people cheered, Shadrael's heart had thundered with pride. He'd dared to dream of commanding all thirty legions, ruling the army as Kostimon ruled the empire.
Instead, Light Bringer had swept everything away, broken Shadrael from rank, decommissioned and exiled him. The only thing Light Bringer could not do was take away his membership in the august body of praetinoriâa body of men who were members for lifeâmen honored and distinguished publicly, acknowledged and bowed to by every citizen.
Yet who would bow to me?
Shadrael thought.
“Yes,” Urmaeor said. “Pride and passion. Strength and courage. Defiance and hatred against your enemies. Yes, Commander. You are exactly what we've sought.”
Hatred for Light Bringer swelled inside Shadrael. Aware that the priest was manipulating his emotions, he hardly cared at first. But then he pulled back, closing down the memories and feelings, refusing again to be controlled.
“It's all dust,” Shadrael said, pushing away his past. “Dust and tarnish. Useless to me now.”
“If you still have pride,” Urmaeor said, his voice soft, “you still care. And if you still care, then you will join us.”
“The shadow gods cannot be resurrected,” Shadrael said harshly. “If that's what your Barthel wants, he's lost in foolish dreams.”
“My master is a pragmatist, like you.”
“Maybe.”
“Our fight isâ”
“I have a living to make,” Shadrael broke in. “You call me commander, but I'm no imperial officer. Nothing but a mercenary. When I'm free of my current job, perhaps we'll talk again, but notâ”
“We are not finished here. Do not try to dismiss me.”
“I'll leave when I choose. Even if I have to waste magic to find my way out. Call up the past all you want, but you won't change the facts of the present. You can dredge up a little army perhaps. You can even strike a few times at villages or burn an imperial arch or two, but the Reformants have taken your temples and ceremoniesâ”
“Reformants,” Urmaeor said with loathing, the first true emotion he'd shown.
Shadrael bared his teeth. “That's right. Face it, priest. Your day is over, just like mine.”
Urmaeor lifted one hand, but he did not strike. “Decommissioned or not, you retain the skills of a legion commander,” he said in glacial tones. “Your oath to Beloth still binds you to his service, and you are now called to obey that oath.”
“When I'm not employedâ”
“Lord Vordachai will cheat you of the money he's promised,” Urmaeor said. “After you've committed treason for him and abducted the sister of the emperor as he's bidden you, he will not pay you a single ducat more than you carry now.”
“Faure's breath, how know you that?”
“Don't be stupid. Can you not see how her abduction serves the Vindicants even better?”
Shadrael understood at once. His hand came off his dagger hilt.
“Yes,” Urmaeor said. “Lea E'non is a javelin that can be driven deep into the emperor's flank, to fester, to bring him to his knees. And your hand, Shadrael tu Natalloh, is perhaps the only one strong enough to control that weapon.”
An icy tendril of caution curled around Shadrael's spine. The Vindicant spies, he thought, had been busy indeed if they knew of Vordachai's secret plan. He did not deny what Urmaeor was saying. With mind walkers, why bother?
Naturally, he understood that if he agreed to the Vindicant demand, he would be betraying Vordachai, his only brother.
It's only a job,
whispered a voice in his mind.
Serve the one who pays you best.
But in his heart, he knew it was not that easy.
“Lord Vordachai is an impetuous man,” Urmaeor said. “Although we admire his intentions, it would be better for everyone if we Vindicants were to take over the situation. Lady Lea can become a significant political pawn, if that pawn is played with skill.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, Shadrael asked, “What will you pay?”
“How long do you think your powers will last? How long can you hoard shadow magic inside you?”
“What does that matter?”
“How long?”
Shadrael frowned. “I have enough to do what I must do.”
“Enough to hold the girl helpless while she's your prisoner? She's not without special resources, you know.”
Shrugging, Shadrael didn't answer.
“Yes, and then what? When you've finished this task and expended all your magic in doing so, what will be left to you? What will hold back the creeping madness, the internal torment that will only grow more unbearable as you age? I use blood potions as my treatment. You've tried them, and they do not work well for you, do they?”
Shadrael struggled to hold his temper in check. “Urmaeorâ”
“You know what is coming,” the priest said, “and if you do not, you are deluding yourself.”
“Yes, damn you, I know! What would you have from me?” Shadrael snarled. “Shall I mew in fear at the fate that awaits me?”
“My master offers you a way out.”
“What?”
“A soul.”
Disbelief swept Shadrael. Urmaeor was throwing a cheap lie to him, a bone tossed to a dog.
“
This
is your payment?” he said violently. “Do you think me such a fool to believe you?”
“No one thinks you are a fool, Lord Shadrael.”
“Gods! What next will you say? My soul is
gone
. It can't be recovered.” Shadrael glared at him. “Or did you lie about that during my counseling?”
“No. I told you no lie,” Urmaeor said in a quiet voice. “There are other souls to be had. Would you mind having one of them instead of your own, as long as you escaped damnation?”
It was like taking a punch in the guts. Shadrael opened his mouth, but could find no words. He felt winded, hollow inside, even a little sick. Could it be possible? he wondered. Yet even as that tiny thread of hope unspooled in his thoughts, cynicism clipped it.
“A new soul?” he said slowly, warily. “This is no Vindicant teaching.”
“Things change,” Urmaeor replied. “Without the shadow gods to aid us, we must survive as best we can. Share their doom if you wish, or take the escape my master offers you.”
“Your master,” Shadrael said scornfully. “What is he, who is he, to dispense lives, even souls, as though he is immortal? I believe none of this.”
“But you want to believe me. You want to very much.”
Breathing hard, Shadrael took a step back.
No,
he thought fiercely, yet there rose in him a yearning so powerful, so overwhelming he could not quell it. How desperately he wanted to undo a moment's mistake, a moment's stupid bravado. Oh, to relive that day when he'd been too young and foolish to know better than to rise to a dare. He'd wanted to impress the men, rough veterans who refused to respect a new junior officer. He'd wanted to prove his valor, to stand out among the other green, untried young decivates, and so he had. The men had feared him after that.
For years, he had simply accepted the situation, accepted it and used it to his advantage. Until the destruction of the shadow gods and the loss of his connection to them, a connection that had kept him vital.
Self-denial, not pride, he told himself. Lying to himself, pretending he did not care, keeping his courage high like a shield when all the time the realityâthe desperate, clawing realityâwas that he would do anything,
anything
to get his soul back.
And this priest knew it.
“Who offers you the better price?” Urmaeor asked now, extending his hand. “Lord Vordachai's ducats?” Urmaeor held out his other hand. “Or a soul? The choice is yours.”
Shadrael frowned. He hadn't believed Vordachai's offer because it had been too high, and he wasn't going to believe Urmaeor's now for the same reason.
“It's not a betrayal of your brother,” Urmaeor said persuasively. “Just a better way, politically, of accomplishing the same objective. You do understand that, I'm sure. And eventually, so will Lord Vordachai. Your brother will not be hurt by this. In fact, we may help his causeâ”
“Do you think I care about Vordachai's feelings?” Shadrael asked in astonishment.
“The blood ties between Ulinians are said to be strong.”
Loosing a hard, bitter laugh, Shadrael shook his head. “You priests,” he said contemptuously, “living in your towers, chanting your prayers, carrying out your rituals. It's emptiness, all of it! You have nothing! Nothing!”
“Commanderâ”
“Have you been banished to the provinces so long you think you're dealing with a peasant?”
“I assure you, Lord Shadrael, that we're fully aware of your lineage and family connections.”
“Eighth Legion, damn you! No other family!” Shadrael shouted.
“Yes, of course. Then we're agreed?”
“Sham and trickery. Charlatans without potent magic, thinking you can manipulate lives the way you used to. Well, no more! You're finished, just like the rest of us. Finished!”
“Allow me toâ”
Shadrael gestured in disgust. “Not even a ducat for my hire. Instead, you offer me a
soul
. Marvelous. How in Faure's lying name am I supposed to put it back in? Eh? You tell me that.”
“Commander Shadraelâ”
“Be damned!”
Spinning on his heel, Shadrael faced the blackness yawning before him and spoke a brief, harsh word. It cracked the blackness open, letting gray light spill forth once more to illuminate the passage out.
“Wait!”
Hearing footsteps coming after him, Shadrael angrily quickened his stride. He didn't bother to look back, and after a moment the sound of pursuit faded and stopped. The only noise he heard was the quick crunch of his boots over the bones of the dead.
R
iding
in her wheeled litter, closed in by heavy leather curtains lined with silk, and reclining on soft cushions, Lea E'non made one last effort to read from her scroll of poetry, but the jolting was so bad it caused her small overhead lantern to swing wildly from side to side, casting dizzying shadows across the words. Her eyes ached from trying to read in such impossible conditions, and with a sigh she tossed the scroll aside. It made no sense to her why she had to stay out of sight while they traveled through these small towns dotting the banks of the Parnase River, when two weeks ago she'd been allowed to ride her cream-colored gelding along a road lined with cheering villagers.
Imperial politics. She frowned impatiently. “Sit here. Eat this,” she muttered aloud. “Ride out of sight. No, today wave to the crowds. Don't smile. Smile with your utmost charm. Be friendly. Be aloof. Bah!”
Flinging open one of the curtains, she peered out and found herself looking at a rock cliff face rising almost from the very edge of the road. Trees grew atop the hill, towering above her. Some of them leaned precariously, with roots exposed where the thin soil had worn away. In places, water was seeping from the stone, dripping down to pool beside the road. The air smelled clean and very cold.
Lea smiled to herself and inhaled deeply, letting her eyes nearly shut. She smelled frost, and woods, and imminent winter.
“Wonderful,” she whispered.
At that moment, her conveyance lurched violently, nearly tossing her out on her head. She clutched the frame hard to save herself, and the leather curtain swung down, slapping her in the face. The litter lurched again and stopped.
Around her came the sound of shouts, punctuated by the bitter cursing of her driver.
Lea righted herself, grabbing a cushion just in time to save it from tumbling out into the mud, and opened a curtain on the opposite side.
She saw an enormous bog of mud and cinder where the road should be. Her litter appeared to be stuck in the middle of it. To her right, a cluster of cavalrymen gathered at the edge, talking among themselves with much head shaking and shrugs. More men rode up but didn't dismount. Instead, they called out several joking suggestions and were answered in kind. Deployed from the Household Regiment of cavalry for her protection, the Crimsons looked bright indeed against this gray, sunless day with their short, scarlet cloaks banded in tawncat fur, their shining steel cuirasses and helmets sporting long horsehair plumes, their immaculate black boots, and white gauntlets extending nearly to their elbows. They were also going to be quite useless, Lea told herself, for wading in mud to free her litter.
“Thirbe!” she called.
Her protector came to her at once. “Yes, m'lady?”
“Are we stuck?”
“Aye. Sit tight while the men give this thing a push.”
Lea frowned. “No, Iâ”
But Thirbe closed the curtains and stepped back. Lea was about to push them open again and ask to be lifted out when there came a loud crack of a whip and the snorting of horses. Her driver bawled commands, and the litter shuddered so violently Lea clutched at whatever handhold she could find. But it did not roll forward. Instead, she felt the conveyance sink a little lower, and through the curses of the men she heard a sucking, squelching noise.
They did not give up. More shouts came, and she heard the servants cluster at the back, muttering under their breath as someone directed them to push on command. Again the whip cracked. Again the horses pulled. Again the litter tilted and settled, and did not budge.
When Lea heard the order for a pry pole to be cut from the woods, she pushed open her curtains, noticing they were now liberally splashed with mud.
“Thirbe!”
He picked his way to her, holding up the hem of his cloak. A stocky man grizzled of hair and weathered of face, with a combat-flattened nose and a jaw of iron, Thirbe was formerly of the Twelfth Legion, veteran of four Madrun campaigns under the old emperor, and an expredlicate. He possessed all the toughness of boot leather, the quickness and stamina of a man half his age, the cynicism of a gladiator, and the irritable nature of a thirsty man beholding a closed tavern. Right now, his mouth was clamped tight, and beneath the curve of his leather helmet his eyes glittered with ill humor and impatience.
“Aye, m'lady,” he said before she could inquire. “It's stuck up to the axles. You'll have to come out of there while they see to it.”
Delighted, Lea pulled her pale blue wool cloak around her shoulders, tying the strings swiftly, and held out her hands.
Thirbe scooped her up and carried her to pavement, well out of the way of muddy servants and gawking cavalrymen. Every man who happened to glance in her direction smiled and nodded respectfully. Lea smiled back cheerfully, and no sooner did her red leather boots touch the ground than she was twirling around in excitement.
“What is this place? What a pretty little valley. It looks leagues away fromâ”
“Aye, leagues from nowhere,” Thirbe said bitterly. “Another bright idea from love's winsome dream.”
“Thirbe, hush!” Lea glanced around to see if he'd been overheard. “Don't call him that. You will only spread rumors.”
“My lady!” called out one of her attendants from a second litter standing near the supply wagons. “Do you require us?”
“No,”
Lea said with feeling.
Thirbe beckoned to a lackey and said, “Inform Lady Lea's attendants that they are not needed.”
As the man bowed and scurried away to deliver the message, Thirbe cleared his throat. “Well, then, the
captain
took some skittish fool notion in his head the moment scouts brought a report of fire in Brondi. He turned off the main road, and now see where we are.”
“Fire?” Lea asked, busy staring at the woods to the west and a narrow little valley to the east. A stream bordered the other side of the road, chuckling over rocks and running swift between low banks. She still found it very pretty, and yet a sudden prickle of unease touched her. “What kind of fire?”
“Stupid southlanders,” Thirbe muttered with the typical Itierian contempt for any other province and its customs. “Always building with wood instead of stone. Bound to be fires. Nothing sinister about it. No need for that gormless sprat to assume there's a riot.”
“Thirbeâ”
“Well, there ain't,” Thirbe said, exasperated. “He acts fair gutsnapped at times. I don't think anyone's going to attack you, m'lady, with a house fire.”
She chuckled despite herself, and pulled up her hood against the cold bite of wind. “Captain Hervan is just being careful.”
“Being a damned noddy-knot, for all I can see,” Thirbe said. “Pulling us onto this abandoned road with some fool notion of saving time by cutting through yon hills.” He pointed to the north.
Lea swung around and stared at a distant purple smudge. “I'm all for a shortcut, anything to reach Trau more quickly.”
But Thirbe was scowling, his eyes fierce with resentment. “Ain't quicker to stand here with a wagon stuck in the mud and three-fourths of the available manpower too pretty to heave it out. When imperial roads are abandoned, it's for good reason.”
“Is that what this is?” she asked in surprise, looking at the paving stones that were cracked, in places broken enough for weeds to grow there. Tall grass, flattened by a killing frost, sprawled over the crumbling edges, and ahead of them, past the bog where it looked like the stones had been taken upâperhaps stolenâshe could see wind-eddied drifts of fallen leaves. “It doesn't look like an imperial road. It's so narrow, and in bad repair.”
“The really old roads are narrow,” he said. “Gault knows I've ridden over most of them.”
“Then do you know this one?”
“No.” He made an exasperated sound in the back of his throat while orders rang out and the servants heaved again to free the litter. “We're lost. That's the long and short of it. Lost and on a road gone bad. Darkness will be coming early today, and I'll lay half my wages that it's going to snow.”
“Oh yes, there's no doubt of snow,” Lea said happily, sniffing the air. “I've missed that most of all.”
“Won't miss it when you're halfway through them hills and got sleet freezing the road and nowhere to camp.”
Before she could answer, an adjutant came riding up, reining his horse with a flourish and throwing her a salute. “Compliments of the captain, my lady. A tent and fire for your comfort will be set up shortly.”
“I want neither, thank you, Barsin.”
He was a handsome boy, perhaps her age or a year older, staring down at her with friendly admiration. “It's going to take time to free that litter, my lady.”
“Is it?” she asked with such delight that Thirbe shot her a suspicious look.
“Now, there'll be no prowling about,” he began, but she waved away his protest as she smiled at Adjutant Barsin.
“Tell Captain Hervan thank you, but I shan't require the tent.”
The adjutant saluted again and wheeled his horse away.
Thirbe turned on Lea at once. “Now, what theâ”
“I'm tired of being cooped up,” Lea said. “I shall ride.”
“No, m'lady, that you won't.”
She fixed him with a determined eye. “Yes, I shall. Not to explore, but to keep going. If we're to make the best use of this shortcut, we shouldn't waste time sitting about.” She clapped her hands, and a lackey came running. “My horse, Wim.”
Bowing, the groom darted away to do her bidding before Thirbe could gainsay her command.
“Now, m'lady, you don'tâ”
“Yes, Thirbe?” she asked, turning her blue eyes on him in wide innocence. “What don't I want to do? Is there a town in this valley unfriendly to my brother's throne? Or some reason why I should not take exercise and breathe fresh air?”
“Catch your death out here in this cold.”
Her laughter rang out merrily, causing several people to look in her direction. “Oh, Thirbe, I was born within sight of a glacier. This is merely a mild autumn day, and quite delightful. Come,” she said as her gelding Ysandre was led up and the groom held out his hand to help her mount. “Let us continue.”
But Thirbe was shaking his head. “We're off the map, off the approved route you were to take,” he said stubbornly. “Ain't sensible to keep going.”
With the reins in her hand she patted Ysandre's pale shoulder and whispered to him before looking over her shoulder at Thirbe. “Do you have reason to fear bandits on this road? Are you worried about some specific danger?”
Thirbe looked from her to the groomâstanding there agog with his mouth slightly open and his eyes wide with alarm. Lea knew that whatever her protector said would be spread through the company at once by Wim's gossiping tongue. Obviously Thirbe realized it, too, for he frowned at the boy with such quelling ferocity that Wim turned pale.
When Thirbe turned his gaze back to her, she refused to wilt beneath its scorching blast and simply smiled at him. “Well?”
“Ain't likely they're going to lurk here. Slim pickings for any cutthroat lying in wait on this donkey trail. It's justâ”
He broke off, pursing his mouth.
Realizing he was honestly troubled and not just grumbling, Lea allowed her amusement to fade.
“What is it, Thirbe?” she asked quietly, taking note of his restlessness, the alert flick of his gaze here and there, the way he stood so that his back was never to the woods. “There's something here you do not like.”
“There's
nothing
here I like,” he said fiercely, dismissing her groom with a curt gesture.
As soon as Wim hurried away, Thirbe stepped closer to Lea and lowered his voice. “Nothing I can put my finger on, but there's an itch between my shoulders. I got the feeling we're being watched.”
Lea was all seriousness now. In the three years that Thirbe had served her, she'd never doubted his instincts or his professionalism. She trusted him completely. “Should we turn back?” she asked.
He nodded, to her disappointment, but said, “I'd prefer it. But we've gone nearly a day this way. If the road hasn't been cut ahead of us, and so far the scouts don't report such, then I suppose it's better to keep going than lose another day retracing our steps.”
Lea watched him. “I'm not so eager to reach Trau that I'm willing to abandon common sense. If you have reason beyond what you've said so far, we'll take the time. If it's only that you do not like the captain's changing our plans, then⦔ Letting her voice trail off, she shrugged.
Thirbe said nothing, and after a moment Lea nodded her head decisively. “Then we continue,” she said.
She sent him a look, and he boosted her into the saddle before fetching his mount and joining her farther down the road. Someone called after them, but Lea did not glance back.