The Perfect Ingredient (Dare Valley) (37 page)

He texted her only once after the interview. Wrote three or four different phrases until he settled on something simple.

Thank you for what you did.

Her answer was equally brief.

I did it for both of us.

Nothing more. Well, what more was there to say? None of this changed the facts. Elizabeth had lied to him and hadn’t trusted him. Had believed the worst in him. And it was on him that he’d validated her fears.

He couldn’t live his life with someone like that.

But by God, he missed her, and the pain was almost too much to bear.

After further conversation, he and Mac had decided to move forward with putting Terrance in charge of another one of the Four Aces’ hotel restaurants until Mac’s new hotel in Vegas was open for business. He wouldn’t get the chance to work with Natalie, of course, and the call she’d given him a couple of days ago—offering her support and making increasingly inappropriate jokes in an effort to cheer him up—had made him realize it would be a loss. But Dare Valley just wouldn’t work. He was still mulling over which hotel location to choose that would in the meantime.

Being back in the city, he still felt the urge to hide in its anonymity. He started cooking in his buddy’s kitchen because he felt like a salamander left on land too long, craving water.

But it wouldn’t be enough. He’d have to cook professionally and soon.

He’d have to go back to his life—whatever that life was now.

The only thing he knew was that it didn’t include Elizabeth.

Now it was time to put one foot in front of the other. And that meant returning to his apartment. He was a jumble of nerves on the way there, fearing her Chanel perfume would still linger in the air. He steeled himself to face it like a man.

His phone rang as he was opening the door to his apartment, and he dug it out of his jeans. It was his agent.

“Hey, Nadine.”

“Terrance, I have someone on the line who wants to speak with you.” Her excitement was infectious. “I think you’re going to want to talk to him.”

“Okay. Put him on.”

“Mr. Waters, this is Howard Farnsworth of CST Television.”

Terrance’s body felt like it was sinking into the floor. Howard was the primetime network executive of Lane’s rival network. “Mr. Farnsworth.”

“I understand you don’t currently have an offer for a primetime television show.”

His heart started beating hard in his chest. “No, sir. I’m in between jobs right now.”

The man laughed, and the sound was booming and genuine. Terrance found himself liking the guy right away. “I’d like to change that. I’ve been following you, and I think you can do great things on my network. I was raised in the south side of Boston, so I like people who stick up for women and can still cook the pants off the competition.”

Now he could hear a trace of the rough neighborhood in the man’s voice. “Is that so?”

“I would have clocked that guy good too, if I were in your place. My wife thinks you’re a hero. We’d like to have you over for dinner while you’re still in town to talk things over. What would work for you?”

He’d planned to stay in the city for a few more days, finishing up business, and then he was going to prescribe himself some therapy: a beach and a hammock and a bottle of rum, with loads of quiet. No press allowed.

“How about tomorrow night?” he suggested.

“Wonderful. My wife will be having it catered, lest you worry. I’ve been married to that woman forty-two years now, and she still can’t cook an egg worth hell, but since I can’t either, it works for us.”

He felt a smile come and go on his face, a rarity lately. Yes, he already liked Howard a lot. This felt like a much better fit than Lane ever had.

“Great. I’ll see you then.”

“I’ll send my car for you at seven.”

Wow, a dinner invitation and a private car. The man was serious. It looked like he was going to get his primetime TV show after all.

And all because of Elizabeth.

He was frowning as he moved into the family room. Dropping the duffel, he closed his eyes briefly, letting her perfume tickle his nose. Her scent lingered here just like he’d feared.

Elizabeth wasn’t a woman who was easily forgotten.

He braced himself to cook his way out of all of these god-awful feelings. Then he noticed two keys resting on the side table.

Crossing to them, he picked them both up. They were cold in his hands. He remembered telling her to leave his key when she left.

His key was there all right.

But she hadn’t taken hers back.

His heart thundered in his chest. She was trying to tell him something.

It was time to find out what.

Chapter 42

Natalie had gotten up late after staring at the ceiling for two solid hours before finally falling asleep. Blake was interrupting her sleep patterns again with vivid dreams of their life together.

Tears streamed down her face each time she awoke.

After getting dressed, she brushed her teeth in furious strokes, wincing when she rubbed her lower gum too hard. Her phone rang. It was Moira. She hit speaker.

“Hey, Mo! What’s up?”

“Where are you?” her sister asked, her voice urgent.

“At home. I’m running late. Why? What’s going on?”

“Turn on your TV. You aren’t going to believe this. My whole office has stopped working. Everyone is in shock.”

Her stomach chilled. God, please don’t let it be another school shooting or a terrorist attack. “What’s the matter?”

“Just turn on a local station. Any station. My God, Nat, I just can’t believe it.”

Her phone beeped, and Caroline’s name appeared on the screen. Then Andy sent her a text.

What the hell?

“I’ll call you back, Mo.”

She ran into her front room and hit the remote, searching for her favorite local station. The first thing she registered was Blake standing at the microphone, dressed in a somber gray suit, camera flashes punctuating the air around him like starbursts.

The news banner at the bottom hit her like a Mack truck, and she sunk to her knees in front of the TV.

BREAKING NEWS: DENVER RAIDERS QUARTERBACK RETIRING

No, she thought. He wouldn’t.
He couldn’t.

She had to turn up the volume to hear him over the buzzing in her ears.

“I’ve talked to Coach Kilpatrick and the team about my decision. They weren’t exactly thrilled, but they know why I have to do this. I hope the fans can understand that sometimes our personal lives take precedence over our careers, and this time, I’ve decided I have to put that first.”

His personal life? Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. He couldn’t retire from football because of her. Football was his reason for living.

A memory wormed its way into her mind. She’d told him that once after they were married, and he’d kissed her and said
she
was his reason for living now. Football came in at a close second.

“This team…” He broke off, and her heart bled for him, knowing how much this was hurting him. “This team has been my family, and we’ve been through a lot. I will always be grateful to them for letting me lead them. And I want to thank the fans, who made my Sundays…just awesome. Well, except when I didn’t play well. Then they pretty much tanned my hide, which I deserved.”

A few reporters laughed, and Blake had to cough to clear his voice.

“That’s all I have to say right now. Thank you.”

And with that bombshell, he left the podium, reporters shouting questions after him.

She broke out in a cold sweat.

He couldn’t do this. Not because of her.

Maybe it was something else. It
had
to be something else. Had something happened to his parents or his sister?

She couldn’t live with herself if he’d done this for her.

Her phone alerted her to an incoming text. Rising, she barely felt her body. It was like all of the life had been sucked out of her.

She picked up the phone. Looked at the screen.

Blake had texted her just seconds ago.

I told you we’re not done.

She fell back against the door, bumping her head. Oh, God.

Another call sounded. Her mom. Then another text. Matt this time.

She couldn’t answer. Couldn’t speak.

What had he done?

Chapter 43

Elizabeth stood under the shower in her bathroom and let the water wash off her trip from New York along with the tears that hadn’t stopped flowing.

It was done.

Vince was known for what he was. She’d spoken with the two other women who’d come forward with stories like her own. They’d cried together as they shared their all-too-similar tales, including how Vince’s family had used their money and power to silence and intimidate his victims.

Other women were safe from him now—the three of them included.

She could only hope the extensive coverage would help even more women stand up to their stalkers. It had only taken her seven years to come forward, to stop being a victim.

Liz Parenti had no regrets.

As for Elizabeth Saunders…that was another matter.

She wasn’t sure she’d ever get over the regret of losing Terrance.

Based on what she’d heard from her friends, he was planning to work at another one of Mac’s hotels. Maybe it was for the best. Coming back to Dare Valley would be hard on both of them.

Part of her hoped he would go.

The other part longed to see him one last time.

Their brief text exchange hadn’t been enough.

She feared nothing ever would be.

Shutting off the shower, she dried herself off with a plush towel and wrapped herself in a white terrycloth robe. Having hand-dried her hair, she looked in the mirror and tried to love what she saw.

A woman who’d done the hardest thing imaginable.

A woman who was alone again after discovering the joys of being with a wonderful man.

She didn’t know if she could love again, but she was different now. Her heart was more open, and the fear that had controlled her life was easing. No, it wasn’t completely gone, but she felt braver and stronger with each day that passed now that she’d faced down her demons.

With each new sunrise and each bold step, she was becoming more accustomed to being in the crosshairs of danger. Now she knew how to navigate it. And she had no need for masks anymore.

That was something to celebrate—as were the tweets and emails pouring in from other women, women who told her how inspirational it was to see her stand up to a bully like Vince.

She was inspiring others, and she could be proud of that too.

Now it was time to make a cup of tea, call Jane, and try and relax into what her life was becoming now. She was more than Vixen, more than Rhett’s publicist.

She was a survivor.

Heading to the kitchen, she came up short when she saw Terrance in her family room, standing by the sofa, running his hand over the cashmere throw with the same gentleness he’d used to caress her skin.

The shock of seeing him had her clutching her robe. “Terrance! What are you doing here?”

He was wearing jeans and a navy T-shirt pulled up to the elbows, revealing his griffin tattoos. They seemed to take flight when he lifted one hand and held up something she couldn’t make out.

“You left your key.”

Her heart sank back into place. For a moment there, she’d thought he had forgiven her.

“I didn’t forget it, but since you came over to return it, you can leave it on the table.”

His bottle-green eyes had dark circles under them. “How are you?”

So they were going to have some small talk after all. “Okay.” What did he expect her to say? Bawling three times a day over him?

“I’m proud of you—for what you did about Vince.”

Oh, how her throat grew thick at that. “Me too.”

He shoved away from the couch, her key still in his palm—almost like he couldn’t bear to set it down. That would mean the final parting between them.

“Thank you,” he said in a quiet voice. “For what you did for me.”

It took her a moment to answer. “It’s like I said in my text. I didn’t just do it for you, but I’m glad it helped you. I didn’t want you to lose anything because of me.”

He kicked at her floor with his Italian shoes. “Right. I seem to have everything back and more now that you’ve painted me as a hero. So why do I feel like I’ve lost everything that matters?”

The trembling started at her knees and worked its way up to her bottom lip. “What are you trying to say?”

Finally, he crossed the room to stand in front of her, his eyes scanning her face. “I don’t want to live without my perfect ingredient.”

“Maybe you’ll find another.” She forced herself to say the words.

“I don’t think so.”

“Then…”

“I thought you might like to come to dinner with me.”

Dinner? Was he saying he wanted them to get back together? “When?”

“Tomorrow night.” He looked down and kicked at the floor again. “The only problem is that you’ll have to come back to New York with me.”

Her mind put up a protective shield. They’d lost everything there.

“I thought we might start over,” he went on. “Go together to New York like we were seeing it for the first time.”

Her heart started to spin in her chest, but cold hard logic wrapped its icy coils around it, halting the celebration. Now that she’d stopped hiding from her past with Vince, she couldn’t bury the hurt between Terrance and her.

“We can’t erase what happened between us, as much as I’d like to.”

“What if I told you that I forgive you and sincerely want you to forgive me?”

Then he looked directly into her eyes, and she saw the hurt and fear and vulnerability he’d shown only to her. Hope rose up inside her, something she’d thought permanently dead.

“I love you, Elizabeth. And that’s never going to change. Despite what happened in New York. I’ve spent the last five days trying to run away from that fact, which scares the sh—heck out of me, but I can’t.”

She cupped her hand to her mouth to quell the sobs clamoring to be released.

“Talk to me,” he said harshly. “I’m…dammit…I’m scared too, okay?”