The Pleasure's All Mine (36 page)

Her mother had always joked that when she died they should make sure to put a blanket over her, “Because it might get cold down there.” Raven had brought a blanket she’d purchased especially for her mother from a vendor at the expo. She had put it in just before they closed the casket at the church. Now she grabbed her father’s hand and pulled him along with her as she walked toward the casket propped above an open space of ground.

“Bye, Mama. I promise to take care of Kayla and Manny no matter what. Please know that I love you, and I thank God you were my mother. I wouldn’t be me, if it weren’t for you.”

Roberto had his own words for her mother. He thanked the woman that he loved for leaving him with a beautiful gift—a gift he wished she would have mentioned earlier in life—but for which he was still grateful all the same. Raven’s tears started all over again.

Later, as Eric and Pierce followed Raven to the waiting limo, Janetta blocked her path. “I know you had them take those envelopes and give them to Drew.”

Raven brushed past her and kept walking.

“You hear me,
you bitch?
” she screeched.

Raven stopped, took a deep breath, and signaled for Eric and Pierce to stay back—which they both ignored.

“Think you’re so smart, Ms. Famous Author. Couldn’t even pay for your mother’s funeral!” she yelled loud enough for the many observers to hear.

“Shut your filthy mouth,” Raven growled. “She left
everything
to you and Drew, and she left strict orders that the funeral was to be in Drew’s hands. So why are you sweating me?”

“I want the house!”

Raven shrugged and folded her arms across her breasts. “I’m not keeping it from you.”

“I want that red van.”

Raven grinned. “I’m not keeping that from you, either. That little piece of paper I gave you at the house transfers all my rights to Drew. He owns two-thirds of everything. So go sweat him. I don’t want anything—the house, the money, the van—nothing. I only want her driver’s license.”

Janetta’s beady eyes narrowed. “Why that?”

“You all are getting what you wanted,” Raven shot back, angered that her sister would even deny her this little piece of joy. “Does it matter?”

Janetta fumed. “I guess not, but you still should’ve asked me.”

“Kiss my ass.”

“You wish.” Janetta laughed and waddled away. She smirked as she clutched the last few envelopes as though they were pure gold.

“Was that wise? Giving up everything?” Pierce asked as their footsteps crinkled the wet grass.

“I didn’t know it at the time, but the house was in the middle of refinancing before my mama died. Now that she’s gone, the refinancing won’t happen, so the loan is in default. Every cent Mama left Janetta in the pension will have to go into the house if she wants to live there. I gave it all up so I didn’t have to deal with the drama.”

“I knew you were smart.”

“And I thought you loved me for my good looks,” Raven countered.

“Oh, yes, there’s always that.”

She introduced Pierce to her father. Roberto instantly sized him up with an intense once-over, and then smiled, shaking the extended hand. “I have a lot of time to make up for. Do not make a mistake with my daughter.”

Raven’s heart filled with love.

“Trust me,” Pierce began, looking Raven directly in the eye, “I’ve made one mistake too many.”

Roberto clasped Raven’s hands in his. “We’ll talk back at the church.”

“You won’t leave before—”

“I promise I will be there.”

Pierce gathered her hands in his as they got into the waiting limousine. Eric had already stretched out on the back seat and was soon snoring lightly. The driver turned onto Cicero Avenue, heading back to the church for the repast.

“Pierce, thank you for coming.”

“I just wish you would’ve picked up the phone yourself.”

“But I just thought that—”

“You thought
wrong,
” he said, frowning his frustration. “Just because you hadn’t made up your mind about us as a couple doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be here as a friend.”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

She removed the license from its safe place. “I miss her.”

“I know.”

Raven slipped into the comfort of Pierce’s arms. “I didn’t plan for this. I thought…I mean we were getting closer, and I thought that I’d have time to…” She sighed. “It was so sudden.” Tears streamed down her face like the start of an April shower, less than a storm, but more than a drizzle.

Pierce brushed away the moisture with the soft sweep of his hand and kissed her cheek tenderly.

“Where are you staying?” she asked.

“I made reservations at the Chicago South Loop Hotel.”

“Unmake them. You’re staying with me.”

“Raven—”

“Don’t argue with me,” she commanded. “I’m not in the mood.”

He leaned over and kissed her lips gently. “So, do you have a guest room?”

“Nope!” Eric’s crisp answer startled them.

Seeing his wide grin, Raven reached out and pinched him.

“And
I’m
staying with Aunt Avie.”

She pulled back. “When did you decide that?”

“Just now.”

“What if I need you?”

Eric leaned forward, patting her hand gently as he glanced at Pierce, and said, “You won’t.”

Pierce linked his fingers in hers, slowly transferring a solid reassurance.

“And just how were you planning to get there?”

Eric grinned slyly. “Well, I was hoping to check out your new Audi.”

“Hmph. Just like I thought. Ulterior motives.”

Eric said, “It was a nice service—if you can say
nice
about a funeral. She would have enjoyed your speech, Mom.”

“Thanks, I needed to hear that.”

At the repast, her father spoke at length of his relationship with Jaylon, and she learned that the moment James found out that Jaylon was in love with Roberto, he had called immigration questioning his status and those actions started the process to have Roberto sent him back to Belize. “I had overstayed my visa to be with your mother. I wanted your mother to bring her children and come with me to Belize, but she was too afraid of leaving here. I had hoped she would change her mind, so I stayed. He reported me, and they came to get me at my job. His jealousy was something I had never seen.

“Jaylon came down to INS before they shipped me out and told them that we were to be married, but she could not provide proof, especially since that man would not grant her a divorce. She fought him on it, but it did not happen in time to keep me here.

“I realize now that it was pretty selfish of me to ask her to leave everything she had ever known and come to a country she knew nothing about. But that man, her husband,” he spat, “had an evil spirit. I wanted to get her out of the country not just to have her to myself, but to take her away from his influence. He had a strange power over her, one she could never explain.” Roberto shook his head. “Please, do not hold it against her for not telling me. She probably thought that he would take her first two children from her. When Jaylon said she would return to her husband, there was no reason for me to complicate her life; however,” came the tortured whisper as he looked down at Raven, “if I had known she was carrying my child, I would have done just that. I would have taken a wooden raft to get back here. Jaylon knew that.”

Roberto pulled out a wallet with pictures of ivory-and golden-skinned young women and men. Six total. Her sisters and brothers!

“Anita contacted me about your mother’s death. She did not mention you, but I think she hoped that we would meet. I will be returning to Belize soon. I hope to see you again before I leave—and I want you to come see the beautiful country of your people.”

After giving Pierce a quick hug and Raven a peck on the cheek, Eric swiftly grabbed Raven’s keys and disappeared.

“Pierce, where’s your luggage?”

“I didn’t have time to pack,” he said softly. “Eric called me at the office from the airport and told me you needed me. The only flight that would get me here on time left an hour later.”

“So this wasn’t…”

“No, sweetheart, I got the feeling that Eric wrestled with the decision a long time before he picked up the phone.”

At Mermaid Towers, Raven scooped up the few envelopes from her mailbox and placed them on the foyer table as she entered the living room.

“I don’t think I have any clothes that will fit you. Maybe a T-shirt or something, but nothing substantial.”

“That’s all right, I don’t think it’ll be necessary.”

Raven chuckled, giving his body a major once-over. “You’re going to walk around in the buff?”

“We’ll manage something. I wasn’t expecting to stay more than a night at the hotel before heading back to New York tomorrow morning.”

Her smile disappeared. “You didn’t
want
to stay?”

“I didn’t think you’d want me to.”

Raven was silent for a few seconds before answering, “I want you to. Our differences don’t seem to matter much anymore. I’m not going to spend my life second guessing or…” She looked up at him. “I love you, Pierce.”

His sharp intake of breath was barely audible over the sounds of jazz flowing from the living room.

“Pierce, I’m so confused about a lot of things, but I know I love you.” Raven wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him closer.

“I love you, Raven. I need you, and I’ve missed you like crazy.”

He held her for a few heavenly minutes before lifting her in his arms and carrying her to the sofa. He slipped off her heels and blazer, then his jacket and tie, cuddled her in his lap, and held her in a solid embrace.

She placed her hand on his chest and opened the first few buttons of his shirt, then rested her fingertips over his heart. Slowly, the tension drained from her, along with the wiry buildup of pain that had welled inside her heart.

Something precious had been taken from her, something she hadn’t taken the time to cherish. Now something precious had been given to her, something she wouldn’t waste time trying to analyze. She loved him. He loved her. Her eyes slowly closed as the rhythm of his hands stroked her back.

They’d make their way from there.

❤ ❤ ❤

Pierce woke at the crack of dawn with Raven still cradled in his arms. During the night he had moved her to the master bedroom, undressing her, then himself. She’d finally expressed her feelings, and he couldn’t have been happier. He just wished it hadn’t taken the pain of losing someone to make her face reality.

“You’re awake,” she whispered.

“How can you tell? You’re not even looking at me.”

“Your breathing changed,” she said, stretching a little. “When did you bring us in here?”

“Two hours after the sofa told me that it doesn’t like overnight guests.”

Raven chuckled. “You didn’t take liberties with me when you…”

“When I do anything to you, I want you awake, pliant, moaning, and screaming like you normally do.”

“I don’t scream.”

“Tell that to the front desk at Kahana Resort.”

She playfully tapped him on the butt, then grabbed a handful. “Mmmmm,” she moaned. “I wasn’t the only one.”

Pierce couldn’t help smiling. “Yelling out your name doesn’t count.”

“Anything above eighty-five decibels over a two-hour period isn’t a scream.”

“So now we’re getting technical?”

She winked. “Every little bit helps.” Then, her jovial mood vanished, and her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

He pulled her close as small sobs wracked her body. “It’s all right, Raven. Let it out,” he said, as she tried to stop the flow by holding her body rigid.

Slowly, she relaxed and melded her body into his. She lay quietly as he silently comforted her. “Just when I think I’m okay, it all comes back.”

Pierce whispered sweet words of comfort in her ear.

“It hurts so much. You couldn’t know how bad it is.”

“Of course I do.”

She sniffled quietly before her tear-stained face turned upward.

Pierce stroked a hand across her back. “Guilt that you didn’t do more, say more, pain as though someone yanked out a portion your heart with no intention of giving it back. Sorrow for the parts of your life they’ll miss…”

“Yes.” Raven’s voice wavered with even that one word. “This must bring back memories for you, too.”

“My parents have been gone a little more than two years. The pain isn’t as sharp as it was in the beginning, but it’s still there in the background.” He reached down and stroked her legs. “It’s sort of like the wound on your knee, the one you told me you got in second grade. It hurt then, but now, as my finger touches it, there’s no pain, even though you still remember in detail how you got it.”

“It’ll be that way with my mother?”

Pierce nodded. “It’ll take time. You’re working through the guilt of being separated from her and not having as much time as you felt was necessary.” He tipped her head to face him. “May I ask you something?”

She touched his face. “Anything.”

“Did she read your novel,
Searching for the Sun
?”

Raven nodded. “I found her note in her safe deposit box. She said it was her favorite.”

“Then she knew how you felt, Raven. She knew you had forgiven her. She knew you loved her. Anyone who reads it can see that.”

Raven’s lip trembled like that of a young child.

“I understood and I didn’t even know you when I read it,” he remarked gently. “I was trying to get inside your head so I could find you.”

“But I should have told her more. My stubbornness, my unwillingness to bring up old things to clear the air…I was so afraid that I would break the bond that was so fleeting at times.”