The Primrose Bride (12 page)

“
You don
’
t fool me, you know. And I don
’
t envy you, either. Andrew could no more love a girl like you than I could love any other man. Under that nonchalance of his he
’
s warm-blooded and passionate, and he needs a woman with plenty of fire and vitality. You
’
re too much of a cold fish ever to find that out for yourself.
”

Quiveringly aware that she had stood enough, Karen was nevertheless instinctively careful.
“
Doesn
’
t your behavior strike you as a little ... unorthodox? We don
’
t know each other, and there
’
s no reason why we should become acquainted now. I
’
ll leave you to wait alone.
”

But before she could move the other had leaned forward and spoken a word Karen had heard before that afternoon; it held her there, tense and listening.

“
It
’
s only a coward who runs away from the truth, but then a girl who marries for cash and glory is bound to be timorous underneath. Let me tell you what happened some months ago.
”
She flicked ash, not caring where it fell.
“
I
’
d known Andrew casually ever since he landed on Nemaka, but until I got my father to invite him down for dinner on my twenty-fourth birthday I was never alone with him. Once we were really acquainted we got along splendidly, and I was even invited up here to a couple of parties. Then
—
it would be about eight months ago—my father was suddenly called to the Government Offices. He does a lot of shipping for the Government, and they
’
d found discrepancies in the accounts. If it hadn
’
t been for Andrew there would have been an ugly court case. That was avoided, but
...
after that I wasn
’
t invited up here any more.
”

“
None of it was your fault,
”
Karen felt bound to say, wearily.

The other
’
s mouth drew in, with sarcasm.
“
How large-hearted of you to say that. But then in your position you have to show magnanimity to the populace, don
’
t you?
”
She stabbed out her scarcely smoked cigarette.
“
It ruined everything. In time, they would have accepted me here—yes, even the Old Girl herself would have come round, for Andrew
’
s sake. But that incident of the cooked-up bill was like a guillotine. I was my father
’
s daughter, and it was remembered that my mother was a nobody. I didn
’
t fit in—never would.
”

“
And ... what about Andrew?
”

“
He was kind, but distant. If we asked him to dinner he came, but everything else was finished. And yet I knew inside me
...
quite positively
...
that he was really in love with me.
”

Karen sat down, rather suddenly.
“
Did you come here to ... to make sure that I should know all this? Or did you come to haunt Andrew because even if he loved you once, he ... he can
’
t love you now? Perhaps you find that knowledge painful, and want revenge? You pride yourself on being fit to marry him, but by your own words you prove yourself unfit to marry anyone!
”

Camilla
’
s sullen eyes blazed.
“
That
’
s a foul thing to say! Your being married to Andrew doesn
’
t alter facts. And don
’
t run away with the idea that my father was guilty. He
’
s too smart a business man to jeopardize the government account. Andrew knew that or he wouldn
’
t have done so much for him at the time. He cooled off because he had to, through pressure from the Residency.
”

“
Well, it
’
s all in the past, isn
’
t it? If you were really well intentioned you
’
d have wri
t
ten to Andrew, not come to his house like this.
”

Camilla
picked up the lighter, dropped it back on to the table with a thud.
“
I
’
ve told you I don
’
t envy you and it
’
s
true. All you
’
re getting is a position and a pale devotion, and you can keep them both. I wanted the full-blooded man, and that
’
s why I
’
m jealous. I still want him.
”

Steadily Karen regarded her.
“
You have a nerve to speak to me like that. You
’
d better go.
”

And then Andrew
’
s car pulled up outside. Karen got quickly to her feet and moved so that she stood in shadow. Camilla Marchant
’
s posture did not change, but avidly, sparklingly, her glance sought his as he entered the room.

He stopped at once, ac
c
omplished a swift weig
h
ing-up of the situation and said cordially,
“
Why, hallo, Camilla. Haven
’
t seen either you or your father since I got back. How are you?
”
His head turned, he saw Karen and added,

“
I meant to be early, but there was a lot of stuff to sign at the last
minute. Sit down, and let
’
s all have a drink. You seem to have
introduced yourselves.
”

“
No drink for me,
”
said Karen stiffly.
“
I think Miss Marchant has
s
ome business to discuss with you.
”

“
None that you can
’
t hear,
”
he said.
“
Come on, my pet, sit down.
”

He was being both careful and masterful; Karen knew that. However he felt about Camilla Marchant he wasn
’
t going to be left alone with her. Everything absolutely straight and man-of-honor. He
’
d chosen his path and not even the only woman who had ever really shaken him was going to divert him from it. Karen felt, bleakly, that things might have been more bearable if he were at least human enough to be a little sensitive about the woman.

“
I don
’
t want a drink either, Andrew,
”
said Camilla, with a pleading smile.
“
I came because I thought you
’
d be about the house for a few days, as you
’
re so newly married, but perhaps I should have written. Congratulations, anyway.
”

“
Thanks.
”
He remained standing, his hands in his pockets and his expression wholly pleasant.
“
That new car outside is yours, I take it?
”

“
My father gave it to me a few weeks ago. He
’
s been feeling benevolent because while you were away he managed to locate the clerk who falsified those bills.
”

“
The deuce he did! I
’
m glad to hear that. Can we charge the clerk?
”

Camilla laced her fingers, looked up at him trustingly.
“
That
’
s for you to decide, Andrew. I was just telling your wife how kind you were when my father had that trouble with the Governor. If it hadn
’
t been for you he might have had to leave Nemaka and start all over again somewhere else. That
’
s why I came to you about this. My father says the matter is half forgotten and no good would come of reopening it, but
...
well, he
’
s the only family I
’
ve got, and I did feel it so much for him—the trouble with the Governor.
”

Andrew laughed.
“
I don
’
t think your father felt it much. Ex-colonels are pretty tough. But if there are grounds for a charge we can
’
t let the clerk get away with it. Where is the man now?
”

“
On Filfua.
I ...
I wondered if, as soon as the Governor is back, you might spare the time to go over and see about it?
”

At the same time as Camilla would choose to visit Filfua? Karen watched Andrew, and wondered, despondently.

He appeared to take the suggestion at its face value.
“
I might send someone even sooner than that. I
’
ll be in touch with your father tomorrow morning. Tell him I
’
m very glad to hear that he has concrete proof at
l
ast. He didn
’
t deserve that sticky business, and I know it hurt you a good deal.
”

She nodded, and with her head bowed said softly,
“
It seemed to blight everything. For years I
’
d been lonely, and then suddenly everything livened up. There were parties, and people were as nice to me as if my father were a government official
...
”

“
Don
’
t say that,
”
said Andrew sharply.
“
We
’
re no better than the rest. Your father came of a very fine famil
y—
as good as anyone
’
s here. I
’
m quite certain that from the age of eighteen onwards you could have married a government bachelor any time you liked.
”

“
I didn
’
t even think about it
..
.
then. And now it seems a little late, doesn
’
t it?
”
She gave him a melting look.

“
You did believe in my father, didn
’
t you? Or did you d
o
what you did for me?
”

“
I did it for you both. You know that.
”

“
Then
...
now you know
...
”
She broke off.
“
I find this most difficult to say in front of Mrs. Eliot. She has so much that I
’
ve never even dreamed of possessing that I
’
m afraid she
’
ll think me very silly. But, Andrew, I do want us—my father and me—to be part of the place again. Just
...
just one invitation would set the ball rolling, so to speak. Could you manage it?
”

“
I could and I will,
”
he said without emphasis.
“
Sure you won
’
t have a drink?
”

“
No, I must be going. Father
’
s got those beastly adventurer types coming in tonight and I want to get dinner over early.
”

“
The salvage group?
”
commented Andrew with a smile.
‘“
I think we can leave it to the Colonel not to underwrite anything as nebulous as the lost
Salamander
.”

Camilla Marchant pushed herself gracefully to her feet. Andrew did go down with her to the car, but he left the door wide, and both were fully in view. Karen looked out there and felt a little sick. Camilla was showing off the car, laughing at something he had said, and answering blithely. She was no doubt telling him that she had chosen the color because it was her favorite as well as Andrew
’
s. A fine, translucent yellow.

To Karen
’
s relief, Andrew had no sooner watched the woman depart than Tony Horwell turned up. Quiet, homely Tony, who looked a little jaded and who was as far removed from deceit and intrigue as Camilla Marchant was close to it. He had come on a business matter, but was persuaded to take a drink and enjoy the last of the quickly dying day. When, after the lamps were lit, he made as if to leave them, Karen lifted a hasty, detaining hand.

“
Stay and eat with us, Tony—unless you were going elsewhere?
”

Tony shot a glance at Andrew.
“
No, I was only going home for the evening.
”

“
Then stay,
”
she repeated.

“
Sure,
”
said Andrew smoothly.
“
Have dinner with us.
”

“
I haven
’
t changed,
”
said Tony awkwardly.

“
You don
’
t have to when you
’
re taking pot-luck,
”
said Karen quickly.
“
The bathroom is all yours, if you
’
d like a wash.
”

He still hesitated, but Andrew waved a hand, and Tony went from the room. Perversely, Karen wished he hadn
’
t gone so soon. She picked up the glasses.

“
I
’
ll tell Min Gan we
’
ll be three.
”

“
He always cooks plenty. Why so keen to have a guest for dinner?
”

She took an interest in the glasses she held.
“
I thought it would be pleasant. I like Tony.
”

“
And Tony likes you.
”

“
I hope so.
”

He leaned against the wall and surveyed her with an interest both watchful and mocking.
“
It
’
s peculiar you should say that. A day or two ago I asked him to come along for lunch. He hedged and said you wouldn
’
t want the bother. I told him you liked him, and he used the words you used just now.
I
hope so
’
.
”

“
It
’
s a conventional expression.
”

“
I wonder?
”
He shifted slightly.
“
It
’
s possible that you
’
re the sort of couple who might be drawn together.
”

“
Are you dissecting again?
”

“
No—stating facts. Tony
’
s a bit taut over something—probably his job. And you
’
re more than a bit taut over something—and I don
’
t have to mention what that is. You might find it awfully easy to console each other. But you don
’
t need me to tell you that you hadn
’
t better.
”

She looked straight at him.
“
I don
’
t seem to know you, Andrew, not at all. At this moment I
’
d find it awfully easy to throw something at you. Why won
’
t you leave me alone?
”

He lifted one eyebrow.
“
Atta girl
. I refuse to leave you alone, but that light in your eye is quite encouraging. I was only pointing out that you and Tony might have one or two things in common.
”

“
Well, I daresay we have!
”

“
So long as you realize it wouldn
’
t be good policy for you to discuss them.
”

“
Andrew, for heaven
’
s sake
...
”

“
Calm down, my child. What you won
’
t accept is that there are complications in life that you
’
ve never even dreamed of.
”

“
They wouldn
’
t exist if I hadn
’
t gone a little mad and tied myself to you!
”

From the sudden sparks in his eyes and the tightening of a muscle in his jaw she knew the words had flicked him; but she felt no triumph.

His tones hard, he said,
“
There
’
s a sort of legend about frustrated wives and sympathetic best friends. What you have to remember is that you
’
re not frustrated except by your own will. If Tony began to see himself as your confidant I
’
d have him out of Nemaka on a chartered plane in a matter of hours.
”

This left her speechless for a moment, but finally she said huskily,
“
I thought we were going to be companionable for a while, but you couldn
’
t possibly keep it up, could you? You
’
re determined that this
...
this farcical marriage should go the way you want it, but even you can
’
t be remotely happy about it.
”

“
No,
”
he said slowly and a little heavily,
“
I
’
m certainly not that. Candidly, I can
’
t think what got into me in
England
—to make me so blind to your extreme youth and innocence. But get into me it did, and I
’
ll make something worthwhile of it if it takes every ounce of forebearance and patience I can muster. If it also makes me a trifle
v
iolent at times you
’
ll have to endure it, I
’
m afraid. After all, this is one situation I haven
’
t met before.
”

From the depths of her pain she said distinctly,
“That’s
bad luck. I
’
m sure you
’
ve met all the other situations involving a
man
and a woman.
”
And swiftly aware that he was on the point of making a decisive movement towards her, she hurried out of the room.

In the kitchen, she added another sliced tomato and a tin of asparagus tips to the salad, a gill of milk to the soup and a few canned Vienna sausages to the
casserole
. She felt weighted and desperately sad, could not help recollecting that both Andrew and that woman had called her a coward. How true was it? Was it cowardly to be gentle, to want nothing better than to cook and keep house and take care of loved ones
?
Of course not, but those two weren
’
t interested in that side of life. To
Camilla
Marchant she was a coward because she refused to face the fact that Andrew did not love her. Andrew thought she shrank from marriage itself. In a way they were both right
—
the moment she accepted the fact of Andrew
’
s cold bloodedness she would have to leave him, and under present conditions she did shrink form marriage. With every nerve in her body she wanted Andrew
’
s lovemaking
...
but only if he loved her. She just wasn
’
t constructed to accept it from a man who was heartless.

But you don
’
t love someone who is heartless, and she did love Andrew. It wasn
’
t just attraction or infatuation. Simply thinking of him she could feel tears in her throat and a terrible yearning for the kind of husband she knew he could be.

She had to repair her complexion and return to the living room, where Anai was laying the table and Tony was communing with a second drink.

“
Andrew
’
s cleaning up,
”
Tony said.
“
May I pour something for you?
”

“
No, thank you. How are things, Tony?
”

“
They don
’
t alter much, on Nemaka. How are you spending the days?
”

“
I haven
’
t done much, so far. I did go bathing once with a couple of the women. I
’
ve got a car now.
”

“
So I believe. How do you feel about Rita Vau
g
han?
”

“
I think I could like her.
”

“
She can
’
t forgive herself for behaving so badly the night she came here. It
’
s none of my business, of course
...”

“
Are you pausing for me to tell you not to be silly?
”

He smiled.
“
It
’
s true—it
’
s not my business. But Clive Vaughan
’
s a good chap, and if only Rita were contented he
’
d be happy. I just thought that if you want to do some e
x
ploring by car and need a companion, Rita would love it and it might help them both.
”

“
I
’
ll go and see Rita tomorrow morning. She did send me an apology, you know.
”

He nodded.
“
I
’
ve watched her grow thin and irritable.
”‘
He stopped, looked down at his drink and said very quietly,
“
I don
’
t want to see it happen to you, Karen.
”

She said lightly,
“
Surely you don
’
t think it might? I haven
’
t been here a week yet!
”

“
With you it
’
s different. You had a shock when you got here and I was responsible for it. I hate saying this, but it took Rita several months to reach a point where
she
didn
’
t care for being alone with her husband. If you want to throw me out for saying that, you may.
”

It is odd how radically one can change, in even a few hours, if the cause is drastic. Karen, who had decided only yesterday that she would never confide in another human being, found herself reflecting bitterly that though Andrew had threatened dire consequences if she became confiding with Tony Horwe
l
l, there was no one else to whom she could turn. Obviously, the women were not to be trusted. Mrs. Mears seemed dependable, but Karen did not know her well enough, and in any case the very thought of turning to anyone but Tony, who knew Andrew better than any other man and whose loyalty could be depended upon, was
anathema.
Yet the last thing she wanted was to cause trouble between the two men.