The Primrose Bride (21 page)

“
Andrew, you
’
ve got to give me credit for knowing at least a little about myself. If I
’
d been in my right mind in England I
’
d never have married you; I
’
d have known I couldn
’
t make a man like you happy. I
’
m more normal now
a
nd I can see it
’
s all been a ghastly mistake. I
’
m not the
w
oman you want
...
”

He was on his feet.
“
You
’
re the woman I
’
ve got, and I
’
m making no changes! You can appeal to me for Tony, or for anyone else, but not for your own freedom.
I
’
ll never give you that.
”
He was breathing heavily as he added,
“
You
’
re accepted here in Nemaka, and even Marcia Prichard has shown today that she actually likes you for your own sake, and not mine. While you were in the room, earlier on, she called me cruel for even
thinking of
going off and leaving you here to worry about what might happen to me on the road. Funny, isn
’
t it?
”
he ended savagely.
“
Really funny!
”

She moistened her lips and said desperately,
“
What the Prichards think of you is all that matters—the Prichards and the other officials. In front of them I
’
m darling and my sweet, I
’
m teased and tantalized, allowed little liberties. You drop a kiss now and then, just to show what normal newlyweds we are; every single thing you do in front of others is done with calculation and an eye to the future. You don
’
t want a wife, Andrew. You want some mechanical creature that you can switch on, knowing exactly how it will respond.
”
Her voice cracked.
“
Well, I
’
m not a machine, and I can
’
t react like one.
”

He thrust his hands into his pockets.
“
Well spoken,
”
he said grimly,
“
but way off the beam. I
’
ve noticed that whenever we argue—and heaven knows it
’
s most of the time, except when we can
’
t bear the sight of each other!—you insist on talking of
my
future. It
’
s never
ours.
From the very beginning you
’
ve thought of yourself as someone separate, someone ill-used and untouchable. You
’
ve listened to gossip, and because I won
’
t stoop to refuting it you
’
ve even embroidered it in your own imagination.
”

“
I
’
m quite sure,
”
she flashed,
“
that if you could have denied certain things, you would have. You
’
ve just said that sometimes you can
’
t bear the sight of me
...”

“
Ah!
”
His glance narrowed in the half-darkness and there was a hint of malice in the furious smile.
“
I thought that might hurt a bit. You like to feel that
’
s your prerogative, don
’
t you? Well, there have been times when I
’
ve disliked you too. Not hated, mind you—never that—because I
’
ve realized a few things and made allowances, and I could never hate you, anyway. But occasionally I
’
ve wondered whether you
’
ll ever grow up, whether I
’
ll have to live with a scared adolescent for the rest of my life!
”

Karen was shaking; she felt too weak even to stand, let alone get herself out of the room. She said unsteadily,
“
I
’
ve always known I couldn
’
t really fight you. You
’
re too experienced, too clever. And if you weren
’
t so fanatically ambitious you
’
d see this
...
this marriage could be quite a
small
thing that you could leave behind. If it were annulled you could live it down in no time. You could
mar
ry
the woman you
...
any woman you wanted, and still get away with it. You
’
re shrewd and powerful enough for that.
”

“
Stop being melodramatic. I
’
ve had enough.
”

The lamp chose that moment to fade into a thin blue line and flicker out. Instantly Karen was sharply aware of the rain beating among the rocks and pouring from the edge of the thick thatch. The veranda outside was covered, but the rain had swept in, varnishing the whole surface. She could see the flagstones through the french window, and she thought, bleakly, how cool it would be out there in the darkness. She would like to drift out into the rain, into oblivion. Her head drooped, and her hands came up to cover her damp face.

He saw the movement, hesitated with a tight look about his mouth, and then opened the door about a foot, to let in more air.

“
Take off your frock and lie down,
”
he said curtly.
“
Go on, you need the rest.
”

“
Please leave me alone.
”

“
Do as I say, Karen! You
’
re exhausted and wound up. If you don
’
t get some sleep you
’
ll feel like death in the morning.
”

She lifted her head and looked at his angular face in the darkness.
‘
You mean I
’
ll
look
like death, don
’
t you, and that wouldn
’
t do at all. If Marcia saw that I
...
”

It happened suddenly but inevitably. In one stride he had lifted her and crushed her tight against him. His mouth found hers, forced back her head so that her neck hurt while his fingers gripped into her shoulder. She went a little limp and he half released her. But that wasn
’
t the end of it. He kissed her throat and the curve of her neck, returned with raging insistence to her lips, before he let her go.

“
You went a scrap too far at the wrong end of the day,
”
he said indistinctly.
“
I
’
ve every right in the world to kiss you like that—and don
’
t forget it!
”
He walked out into the veranda and the door clicked shut behind him.

Karen stood where he had left her, gulping deep breaths. It was a long time before she managed to drag off her frock and half lie on the bed, with her head on the pillow and her feet on the floor. An awkward, painful position, but she was glad; it made thinking more difficult.

An hour passed. She could hear the ticking of her wrist-watch but hadn
’
t the energy or the will to remove it. The rain eased, and at last, utterly spent, she slept.

She awoke to bright sunshine and the trilling of birds in the garden. Still half dressed, she was lying comfortably between sheets with a blanket up to her shoulders. Memory flooded back and desolation was a raw pain in her throat. She got up, saw that her frock had been put on a hanger and that her shoes stood tidily near the cupboard, where he had put them after taking them off. He must have been most careful not to rouse her.

Karen could have wept, but she daren
’
t.

S
unday
’
s storms were a five-minute wonder. By Monday afternoon all repair work was under way and when evening came there were other things in the air, such as Mrs. Rawling
’
s proposed birthday party and the islanders
’
fishing festival, which seemed to turn up more and more often each year.

During the next few days Karen did very little. She drove up to the shops, had tea with Molly Mears and attended a school committee meeting at Lady Prichard
’
s request, but she spent most of her time either reading or sewing. An islander came with tiles and a bag of tools to repair the bathroom walls, and a shopkeeper brought bales of furnishing fabrics and a tape measure; he had been instructed by the tuan that the mem would permit him to take measurements and herself choose the curtaining material. The curtains, he assured her, would be ready for hanging by the end of the week.

She heard nothing about Tony, which meant that he was carrying on his duties and way of life as usual. Rita Vaughan called in one day at about noon. She looked as brittle as Karen felt, and Karen would have given a good deal to be free of the woman. She wanted to lose some of her own tenseness.

Rita moved about the room, fingered Karen
’
s dress material, unnecessarily straightened a bowl of flowers. Her cup of tea she left standing, to gather flies and go cold.

“
I suppose you
’
ve heard about the grubby trick that
’
s been played on the
Salamander
seekers?
”
she said at last.
“
Ben Brooke is most fed up.
”

“
I haven
’
t heard. What happened?
”

“
He had a two months
’
permit. It expires in about a week, so he applied for an extension. There
’
s no reason why it shouldn
’
t be granted—he
’
s employed a few Nemakans and spent money in the shops—but the Governor has told him he must give up an
d
get out.
”

“
There
’
s probably an official reason for it.
”

Rita jerked her narrow shoulders.
“
Oh, there is. Nothing unconstitutional in the Leaman Islands! If Ben could have produced even the tiniest bit of evidence that he was on the track of the wreck he could have stayed. He sent a few pots and things to the Council Offices, but your eagle
-
eyed husband spotted them for phonies.
”

“
But the man Brooke is a British subject, isn
’
t he? Can
’
t he stay as long as he likes?
”

Rita give her an oblique glance.
“
He can stay without the permit, but what
’
s the good of that? He
’
s here to find the wreck.
”

Karen shrugged.
“
It does seem that two months should be long enough to find some trace of the thing. That ship could have sunk almost anywhere among these islands.
”

“
I suppose so. But Ben wants to go on searching right here.
”

Karen looked up from the collar she was tacking.
“
Why?
”

Rita avoided the clear blue-green glance.
“
He thinks he
’
s on the track.
”
A pause.
“
Oh, all right, I
’
ll be frank. His ship belongs to a man who
’
s financing the project and if Ben can
’
t renew his permit he has to go straight back to Hong Kong. He doesn
’
t want to leave Nemaka just now.
”

“
Why?
”
Karen said again.

“
Don
’
t stare. I know he
’
s a bit of a pirate, but he
’
s the only he-man who
’
s ever given me a second look. Just knowing that I can go down to his camp and get a mug of coffee and a good laugh has made life worth living just lately. I want him to stay.
”

“
Don
’
t be an idiot. The way he spoke to me, I could tell he doesn
’
t care a bean for women. He
’
s attractive, in a way, but unscrupulous and too bold. I know it
’
s no use appealing to you for Clive
’
s sake, but what about your own
?
And apart from every other consideration, chasing that kind of man is a dead loss. You know that.
”

Rita tightened her reddened lips.
‘
Yes, I know it, but I just have to get some excitement or I
’
ll go crazy. You don
’
t know what it
’
s like to have a husband who stares at you each evening like a wounded dumb animal and won
’
t even round on you when you tell him just what you think of him!
”
She swallowed on the fury which must have been building up in her for some time.
“
I
’
m not infatuated with Captain Kidd. I
’
m simply using his presence here to
...
to get me over the worst patch I
’
ve struck so far.
”

“
Rita, sit down.
”
Karen dropped her needlework to the floor.
“
Look
...
some time this Brooke man has to leave Nemaka, and whenever it may be you
’
ll have to face it.
You admit you
’
re not involved with him in any way, and that in itself is an admission that you think too much of Clive to go too far. You must behave sensibly.
”
She drew a deep breath and wondered how she was doing; not too well, she thought.
“
The man is an adventurer, and not a particularly honest one. Clive adores you; you don
’
t know how
...
how terribly lucky you are in that.
”

Rita was unaware of other feelings than her own. Bitterly she said,
“
If only I could rouse Clive—but it
’
s impossible. Captain Kidd doesn
’
t need any rousing. He
’
s a man.
”
She was standing again, giving a strained laugh.
“
I came here
thinking
I might get you to persuade Andrew to renew Ben
’
s permit.
”

Karen bent to retrieve her needlework.
“
Don
’
t blame Andrew. He might have mentioned that those trophies were bogus, but it wouldn
’
t matter to him if the man went on seeking.
”

“
As a matter of fact I know you
’
re right,
”
said Rita sadly.
“
It was our Marcia who scotched everything. I got it out of John Bingham.
”

“
Lady Prichard?
”
said Karen.

“
She walked into the Governor
’
s office as the permit came up for discussion. Seems she merely had to say that treasure-seeking wasn
’
t too good an example to the islanders and she understood the salvage crew weren
’
t nice men.
That clinched it.
”

The infallible Marcia, expelling potential harm to the community and Karen Eliot.

“
So there
’
s no use railing against things, is there?

Karen said.
“
Why don
’
t you have people in for the evening, once in a while?
”

Rita turned down the
corner
s of her mouth.
“
Who would I have, except you? The others bore me silly. She gave a thin smile.
“
And you don
’
t approve of me, so I don
’
t really want you either. I
’
ll go, before you have me thrown out.
‘
Bye.
”