The Problem Child (The Sisters Grimm, Book 3) (7 page)

"We'll be there in a flash," Mr. van Winkle said. He put his keys into the ignition and turned the engine on. Then nothing. For some time Sabrina thought the old man was thinking about a good route to the school, or maybe waiting for traffic to pass so he could back out. But when five minutes had elapsed, Sabrina looked over to see what was wrong.

"Uh, Granny? He's asleep again," she said.

Granny leaned forward and eyed the man. "Give him a little poke in the arm."

Sabrina nudged his shoulder but it didn't wake the old man.

"Try the horn," Granny Relda said.

Sabrina pushed down on the car horn and the old man awoke with a start. "For the love of all things good and holy!" he cried. "We're ready," Sabrina said.

He rubbed his eyes once more and then threw the car into reverse and pumped the gas. They were off.

"So you two are the famous Sabrina and Daphne Grimm, huh?" said the cabbie. "Heard a lot about'cha. Word is you two killed a giant, took down Rumpelstiltskin, and went face to face with a Jabberwocky. Tough kids. Never heard of anyone walking away from one of those things, except maybe that knight. What was his name, again? The one with the Vorpal blade?"

"You've heard of the Vorpal blade?" Sabrina asked, remembering her research from the night before.

"Yep, that's the only thing that can kill a Jabberwocky, from what I hear," the driver said.

"Any idea where we could get one?"

The driver chuckled. "It's not like they sell them at Wal-Mart. No, there was only one Vorpal blade and from what I hear it's lost."

Sabrina frowned.

"So you're an Everafter?" Daphne said.

"Sure, I'm Rip van Winkle," the driver said. "You ever hear of me?

Daphne squealed. Meeting the man behind the famous Washington Irving story was like meeting a movie star to the seven-year-old girl.

"I read about you in the orphanage library," she said. "You fell asleep for a hundred years and when you woke up everything was different. How did it feel to sleep that long?"

There was no answer and Sabrina glanced over to the driver. He had dozed off for a third time. Even worse, his foot was still pushing down on the accelerator and the cab was picking up speed rapidly. Instinctively, Sabrina grabbed the wheel, though she had no idea how to drive a car.

"Help!" she cried. "He's out cold again!"

Granny reached forward and pushed hard on the horn, and the man nearly jumped out of his seat. "Wowie-kazowie!" he exclaimed, giving the steering wheel a quick turn and sending the cab sailing into a parking lot. He braked just inches away from a dump truck. Everyone sat still and caught their breaths. As they calmed themselves, the dump truck started up and then pulled away. It had been obstructing their view, and when it was gone, they saw a shocking sight.

They were at the old school that had been blown to smithereens by Rumpelstiltskin just days before, but it was completely gone. Every board and brick had been removed and

in its place was a brand-new building. The roof was complete but for a few shingles, the walls had been painted, and workers wearing bright-orange hard hats hustled from one place to the next, nailing the last details into place.

"It's impossible," Sabrina said as she opened her door and stepped out of the cab. How could they have built a brand-new school in such a short time? She knew the answer the second she spotted one of Mayor Charming's witches hoisting the American flag up a shiny new flagpole. Morgan le Fay was one of the Three, a group of witches that also included Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, and Frau Pfefferkuchenhaus, the witch from the Hansel and Gretel story. They worked for the mayor and made most of his problems disappear overnight.

The whole scene made Sabrina sick to her stomach. Mr. Canis was buried beneath the new school. He had died saving the children of Ferryport Landing and this is how the town repaid him. If Sabrina could have, she would have ripped the new school down with her bare hands rather than have her grandmother see it.

"We should go," Sabrina said as she turned to Granny Relda. She couldn't imagine how painful this must be for her grandmother. "This town is heartless."

"I'll be fine, liebling"

Granny said.

"Hello, Mrs. Grimm," Morgan le Fay said, sashaying over to the group. She was a beautiful woman and the construction workers ogled her every move. "Isn't it wonderful?"

"Yes, for a cemetery," Sabrina replied.

Morgan's smile disappeared. "Well, I won't keep you. It's cold out here," she said as she handed each of them a button with VOTE FOR CHARMING! printed on it in big purple letters.

Granny thanked the witch and turned back to the cab driver. "I'd appreciate you waiting. We're going to leave Elvis here with you.

"No way, lady!" Mr. van Winkle said as Elvis licked his face. "This thing is a menace on four legs."

"But just imagine the tip you'll get if you stick around," Granny said.

The driver scowled but nodded his head. "Make it quick, will ya?"

Granny Relda led the children into the building, where they found a series of paper signs pointing in the direction of the "Dedication Ceremony." The signs ended at two double doors. Granny pushed them open and they stepped inside the school's new gymnasium.

The sounds of celebration filled Sabrina's ears. Every Everafter she had met since arriving in Ferryport Landing, and a whole bunch she had never seen before, stood around talking. A round little robot man made entirely of copper stood nearby talking to a skinny man made of sticks with an enormous pumpkin for a head. A black panther and a huge gray bear talked politics in a corner. There were also ogres, witches, fairy godmothers, an occasional cyclops, an enormous snail smoking a hookah pipe, and dozens and dozens of handsome princes and beautiful princesses gathered in small clusters. A beautiful cocoa-skinned woman in a green dress smiled and waved at Granny Relda.

"It's nice to see you, Briar Rose," Granny called out to her. "Who's that?" Daphne asked.

"You know her better as Sleeping Beauty," the old woman said. Daphne opened her mouth, inserted her palm, and bit down.

"For the love of Pete, what are you doing here?" a voice said from behind them. Sabrina spun around and found a very small man in a black suit eyeing them disapprovingly. Mr. Seven, as he was known, was the mayor's assistant, limo driver, and personal whipping boy. He was also one of the seven dwarfs. He looked nervous, sweaty, and exhausted.

"Hello, Mr. Seven. Snow White invited us down to see the new school," Granny Relda said to the little man.

"Well, you've seen it. It's great, isn't it? Now why don't you leave? The boss is going to blow his top if he finds you here. He's in a foul mood today," the little man said, looking around nervously.

"You mean worse than his normal foul mood?" Sabrina said.

Just then a tall broad-shouldered man in a purple suit swaggered into the gym. He was impossibly handsome, with dazzling blue eyes, a strong jaw, and perfectly combed black hair. His face was one big smile, and he shook hands with everyone he encountered. He came over and grabbed Sabrina's good hand without even looking at her. He shook it vigorously then peered at her closely. He yanked the wool scarf from her face and groaned.

"Mr. Seven, what are the Grimms doing here?" Mayor Charming demanded. The little man fumbled for words but had no answer.

Mayor Charming was the hero of about a dozen fairy tales. Also known as Prince Charming, he had saved many a damsel in distress--and married a good number of them, too--but somewhere along the way he had stopped being charming and had turned into a first-class jerk. He was rude and condescending, and for almost two hundred years he had been in a bitter feud with Sabrina's family. He'd vowed to someday buy up the whole town and knock down the Grimm house. Still, there was more to him than just nasty hot air. Sabrina had to admit that the mayor came through in a pinch, once lending a hand to stop a giant from destroying the town and then helping prevent Rumpelstiltskin from breaking through the magical barrier that kept the Everafters trapped in Ferryport Landing, but Sabrina wasn't sure he hadn't done it all out of self-interest.

"Mr. Seven, I asked you a question. Who was the moron who invited the Grimms?" Charming asked angrily.

"I invited them." Charming spun around and saw Snow White enter the gymnasium. At one time the mayor and the teacher were engaged to be married, but Snow White had left the prince at the altar, putting an end to their "happily ever after." Sabrina couldn't blame her. Sure Charming was beautiful to look at, but when he opened his mouth, ugh! Still, it was obvious to anyone that the two were still not over each other.

"When I said moron

I didn't mean you, of course," Charming stammered.

"I would hope not," Ms. White said.

"But why on earth would you invite them?" the mayor said. "This is a ceremony for the Everafter community only. Almost everyone here hates this family."

"Well, I don't, Billy," Ms. White replied. The mayor's angry face immediately softened.

"Well, uh…" Charming stammered. "Of course they're welcome."

He bent over and whispered in Sabrina's ear, "Take your grandmother and sister and find a rock to crawl under until this is over. And go wash your face, child. You look like the captain on the cereal box."

"Well, I suppose it's show time," he said, straightening up and forcing a smile to his face. "Don't want to keep the public waiting."

"Good luck," the beautiful teacher said as she stood on tippy-toes and kissed the mayor on the cheek. Charming's face turned bright red and he looked a little dizzy. He mumbled a few incoherent words and then walked away.

"You've got quite a power over him," Mr. Seven said to Snow White, who turned bright red and giggled. "I wish we could have you around twenty-four hours a day"

She grinned. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to find a spot a little closer to the stage."

Granny winked and Snow White disappeared into the crowd.

Suddenly, two tubby men came through the double doors with Sheriff Hamstead, a Grimm family friend, in tow. The two men wore white shirts, blue jeans, and hard hats, and were carrying a set of blueprints with them. Sabrina recognized them as the sheriff's former deputies, Boarman and Swineheart. The sheriff was doing his best to get their attention. To the casual observer the three looked like normal, if a bit overweight, people, but Sabrina and her family knew their secret identities. Boarman, Swineheart, and Hamstead were really the Three Little Pigs in magical disguise.

"I can't believe you two won't even consider it," Hamstead complained.

"Listen Ernest," Swineheart said, spinning around to face his former boss. "There's a reason why we didn't invite you to be a partner in our construction company. You're obsessed with straw. This new school is made entirely out of wood and brick!"

"I'm just saying that straw has come a long way," Hamstead said. "It has all kinds of practical applications. It's the building material of the future."

"I'd agree if we were building something that was supposed to blow away," Boarman said. "A kite, for instance, would be perfect, but we're building a school, and one that sits very close to a river, too. One thunderstorm with twenty-mile-an-hour winds would knock a straw building over just like that."

The two rotund men walked away, leaving Hamstead to chase after them.

Just then, Mayor Charming climbed onto the stage and stood at the podium. He tapped on the microphone and smiled widely. "Fine citizens of Ferryport Landing. Welcome to a new era in our town's education."

"I don't know why everyone is celebrating," Puck said loudly. "Opening a new school should be cause for a national day of mourning."

The entire audience turned to look at the boy fairy. He grinned broadly and waved. The mayor, on the other hand, bit down on his lip and tried to control his anger before he continued.

"I'd like to thank some of the community organizations that made this event possible. First, let's hear a round of applause for our cosponsors and hosts of today's celebration--Fairy Godmothers Against Drunk Driving."

Several blue-haired ladies in fluffy dresses floated into the air, kept aloft by the little flapping wings on their backs. They all wore T-shirts with FGMADD on them. The crowd applauded as the fairies fluttered around the room.

"I also want to thank the League of Wiccan Voters, the National Association for the Advancement of Handsome Princes, Big Brothers and Ugly Stepsisters of America, and Everafters for the Ethical Treatment of Talking Animals. Their hard work and dedication to this important project has been vital to its success."

The crowd applauded again.

"When Ferryport Landing Elementary was destroyed four days ago, I came out to this site and do you know what I heard?"

There was a brief silence and then a loud, squeaky fart. Sabrina turned and saw Puck fall over with laughter. For once, one of his childish pranks was well timed.

Ruin Charming's stupid little event!

Sabrina secretly cheered.

I'm starting to enjoy evil Puck!

"I heard the future calling," Charming said angrily. He regained his composure and started again. "And I saw an opportunity for our children. When I talk about our children I don't mean the children of everyone in this town. I'm talking about Everafter children. For far too long there has been no room for them at the head of the class. This new school represents an end to that."

The crowd roared with approval.

"I have personally overseen this project, supervising the work, even rolling up my sleeves and picking up a shovel to help out," Charming said, causing some in the audience to laugh good-naturedly. "Boarman and Swineheart Construction have done an amazing job."

"It's Swineheart and Boarman Construction," Swineheart shouted.

"No, it's not. It's Boarman and Swineheart Construction," his partner argued.

Charming cleared his throat and the bickering ended.

"And we couldn't have done any of this without the generous donations of our town's three wealthiest families. Everyone give a round of applause to Little Miss Muffet and the spider--I mean, Mr. and Mrs. Harry Arachnid--Beauty and the Beast, and of course, the Frog Prince and his lovely princess."