The Promises We Keep (Made for Love Book 1) (95 page)

She draws in a shuddered breath as she nods.
“
Me, too,
”
she whispers.

“
And I wish you hadn
’
t lied. You should have come to me.
Before
. I just
—
I wish it hadn
’
t been
you
.
”

“
I know,
”
she says as a single tear spills from her eye.
“
I
’
m so sorry, Sonny. I didn
’
t mean to hurt you. I really didn
’
t.
”

“
You can
’
t understand, Avery; you can
’
t understand how it feels
—
to learn
—”
My tears come without warning and I know, as I bring my hand up to cover my eyes, that I can
’
t stop them. I
’
ve been fighting them and holding them back for too long; and, just like always, being with Avery rips me open and leaves me completely exposed.

She takes my free hand and gently pulls me inside before shutting the door behind me. I let her blindly lead me to the arm chair where she encourages me to sit; and then she crawls into my lap and pulls me into her arms, where I go willingly.

“
She left me,
”
I cry onto her shoulder. The pain is too great for me to feel ashamed of my emotional state; and Avery
’
s love, felt in her soft caress, is too powerful for my stubbornness to fight against.
“
She left me all alone. There are things
—
things I should have never had to deal with that I can never forget because of her. And then
—
she
replaced
me!

“
I can
’
t read it, Ave. I can
’
t read that letter. I just can
’
t. I can
’
t give her that. She had too many chances to come and get me
—
to find me. Even if she never wanted to see Patrick again, all those times I was staying with Uncle Charlie
—
her brother
—
I don
’
t care what her excuses are. I don
’
t want to hear them. I can
’
t, okay?
”

“
Yeah! Okay. Okay, love
—
you don
’
t have to.
”
She kisses the top of my head as she continues to run her fingers through my hair and massage my neck.
“
Sonny, you
’
re going to be okay. I
’
m here. I
’
m here and I won
’
t let her hurt you.
”
I can tell she
’
s crying now, too, and my need to comfort her takes over. I pull away from her embrace, just enough to look into her eyes. I hate to see her sad and I know that what she feels is on my behalf, which kills me.

“
Don
’
t cry,
”
I insist, reaching up to dry her cheeks.

“
I
’
ll stop if you stop,
”
she says with a small smile as she runs the back of her fingers down my face to catch my falling tears.

“
Deal.
”

“
Sonny,
”
she begins to say after a pause.
“
I know what I did was wrong, but please believe me when I say that I had your best interests at heart. I always do. When I opened it, I just meant to check to see if it was nothing
—
I didn
’
t expect to find what I did.
”

“
I believe you,
”
I assure her, resting my forehead against hers.
“
But, Ave
…
we can
’
t lie to each other.
”

“
I know,
”
she breathes. A couple more tears escape and rush down her cheeks and I kiss them away.
“
I love you so much. Please don
’
t ever shut me out like you did again.
”
She barely gets the words out before she starts sobbing.
“
I know I screwed up, but your silence was almost impossible to bear.
”

“
For me, too,
”
I murmur, pulling her close.
“
I
’
m sorry. It was just too much all at once. You didn
’
t deserve it and I should have handled it differently. I know that now.
”
She wraps her arms around me and buries her nose in my neck as she continues to cry. It isn
’
t until this moment that I realize how much a conflict between the two of us hurts. It will never be one sided
—
if one of us is wounded, we both are. Every move we make effects the other.
This is love.

In this embrace, as we share tears and apologies, I can feel us becoming stronger while we start to repair what was fractured. As our broken hearts are mended, I
’
m introduced to a different side of love. Yet again, I find myself falling more and more in love with her.
This
—
right here, right now
—
isn
’
t easy and it isn
’
t fun; it
’
s hard and it
’
s messy, but it
’
s
real
and I cherish it. I cherish
her
, always.

“
Hey,
”
I murmur, stroking her hair as I try and coax her away from my neck.
“
Look at me.
”
She does as I request and brushes her hands under her eyes to remove any excess moisture. I breathe in deeply before I continue.
“
Thank you. For pushing me. Nobody else does it like you do. Just, next time
—”

“
I
’
ll never go behind your back again. I promise.
”
She furrows her brow and shakes her head.
“
I guess that doesn
’
t mean very much right now, but
—”

“
Don
’
t say that,
”
I tell her, tracing my fingers down her cheek.
“
I trust you. Always.
”

“
Okay.
”

“
I love you.
”

“
I love
you
.
”
Silence settles between us, but it
’
s the most welcome silence I
’
ve ever experienced. I
’
m so incredibly relieved to be sitting here, with my shorty in my lap, and I know we don
’
t need words to make this moment any more right than it already is.
“
Sonny?
”
Avery whispers.

“
Yes, sweetheart?
”

“
Can I kiss you?
”

My stomach tingles at her request. I think back to the kiss we shared at the stadium. I regretted that it ended as soon as it did. A smirk tugs at the corner of my mouth as my eyes travel from her brown irises to her lips and then back up.
“
Now
you ask? You seemed content to take what you wanted earlier today.
”
Her cheeks turn a lovely shade of red as a small smile plays at her lips.
God, I
’
ve missed her
.

“
I didn
’
t know if, maybe, you wanted us to talk some more. Are we okay?
”

“
Come here,
”
I whisper, leaning in to press my lips against hers.

Unlike earlier, this kiss isn
’
t urgent or rushed; it isn
’
t hungry or intense. Instead, it
’
s slow and sweet; it
’
s soft and intimate. This kiss is an apology. This kiss is a reminder. This kiss is a promise. Just the same, I get lost in it. Nothing else matters except for this very moment. Now, more than ever, I wish I could show her just how much I love her
—
just how much I need her. I want her more than I
’
ve ever wanted anyone in my life. The need to make her mine, so that she will know I
’
m not going anywhere and so that
she
will always stay, it
’
s becoming harder and harder to fight back.

I separate my mouth from hers and pull her into an embrace, knowing that if I let my mind continue down that path, I might lose all self-control. When she wraps her arms around me, I know that she doesn
’
t mind. Again, silence falls between us. That
’
s when I remember
— “
Ave?
”

“
Yeah?
”
Letting her go, I shift so that I can take it out of my back pocket. She flinches at the sight of the yellow envelope. I don
’
t blame her; I know it
’
s for different reasons than me, but I react the same way every time I look at it.
“
You still have it?
”

“
Someone I trust told me I couldn
’
t throw it away without reading it. Well,
”
I pause and shrug.
“
I can
’
t read it. I don
’
t want to. But
—
I might not always feel this way. I mean, I
’
m not holding my breath thinking that
’
ll change any time soon, but maybe
…
I don
’
t know. Maybe one day? Not for her, but for
—”
I can
’
t even say it.
My siblings
. I have so many conflicting emotions just knowing that they exist. Right now, I resent them more than anything else. There
’
s a part of me, though, that knows that isn
’
t fair. I
’
m not even sure if they know I exist. It would surprise me if they did. I apparently wasn
’
t worth much to my mother, so why would she bring me up?

“
Hey,
”
Avery whispers, lifting my chin with her delicate fingers so that I
’
m looking at her, instead of the letter in my hands.
“
What are you thinking?
”

“
Just how worthless Rhonda makes me feel,
”
I say the words without thinking and the face Avery makes in response speaks of her offense.

“
Don
’
t
ever
think that you
’
re worthless. You, Grayson O
’
Conner,
are not
worthless or replaceable. It
’
s a fact. I have proof. You
exist
. God doesn
’
t create worthless people
—
He especially doesn
’
t create worthless people as handsome as you.
”
I smirk at her comment, partly because it
’
s amusing, but mostly because she says it like she
’
s dead serious.
“
Second,
”
she pauses, taking one of my hands and placing it over her heart. She covers my fingers with hers, applying pressure so that I might feel her pumping organ through her chest.
“
This heart could never love anyone else the way that it loves you. You
’
re valuable just because you
’
re you. So don
’
t
ever
let
anyone
make you feel worthless. You
’
re not. You mean everything to me.
”