The Publicist Book One and Two (45 page)

Chapter Sixty-One

Two Christmases in a row were not worth remembering, ever. Kate was never happier to buy a new calendar. Christmas had come and gone without a word from Nick. Not that she expected to hear from him. He was devastated and it was her fault. But she wanted to make it right; she was going to fix this with Nick, eventually.

Andrew and James left just before the New Year, and though Grace insisted on staying longer, Kate needed everyone to go. She wanted to be on her own to figure this all out.

Her future, her life.

Not since before she’d left New York in June had she been alone. She’d come to California and within weeks had fallen into her relationship with Nick. Now he was gone. Although she’d tried to call him, her calls went to voicemail and texts remained unanswered.

It was now January 6, and, gradually, the world was starting to come back online. Kate settled into the back of a cab and was on her way to New York. For the first time since June, she was returning to the city she had once loved so much. A twinge of anxiety curled in her stomach.

LAX was bustling with people and travelers, many probably heading home after the holiday break. Kate was headed home, too, although with all that happened it seemed like it had been a lifetime since she’d been back.

Chapter Sixty-Two

“Hey, Dad!” Daniel Ellis, Mac’s eldest son, said through the phone.

“Hey, Danny. How’s it going?”

“Fine. I’m headed back to school this week, but I wanted to see how you were doing. You have an interview today?”

Mac had gotten the call from a headhunter for an editorial position. The firm was letting their editor go, so it was all a bit hush-hush. He didn’t know much more than that, but that was fine by him. He needed a job. Not financially, but he needed to get back into the game, and, moreover, he needed to keep busy. The busier he was, the less he thought about Kate.

“Yes, in fact. I’m leaving here shortly.”

“Where is it?”

“No idea, but they promised it’s a good house. So we’ll see.”

His son paused for a moment. “I met Mom’s boyfriend over New Year’s.”

Mac smiled. Carolyn was happy. He was miserable. The irony didn’t escape him. “How did that go?”

“He’s young. He could be my older brother.”

“Dan, your mom is having fun. Let her enjoy this. He seems nice enough.”

Daniel chuckled through the phone. “Yeah, nice and young. Does this make Mom a cougar now?”

Carolyn a cougar. If her father was still alive, he would have no doubt locked her in her room until she came to her senses. “I don’t know, Dan, but it makes her happy, and isn’t that what matters?”

“Dad,” his son began, “are you happy?”

Mac sighed. He had been happy once, on top of the world happy. Now he was just existing. “Of course I am,” he lied.

“I hope so. David and I want to see you happy, too,” his son added, referring to his younger brother.

“Look, I will call you later. I need to go to this interview.”

“Text me. I’m catching a train. I’ll call you when I get to school.”

“Love you.”

His son clicked off and Mac headed out the door. Carolyn a cougar. Mac couldn’t help but smile.

He took the subway to Union Square; it would be a short walk from there. It had been years since he’d been on an interviewed, but it felt good to be back in the race. Well, sort of back. Trying to get back after a long, slow fall.

The morning he’d left Los Angeles, he hadn’t really expected Kate to come to his hotel, but he had been hopeful. She’d been through so much; he wasn’t expecting her to forgive him. But when he heard she was getting married, it nearly stopped his heart. He hadn’t been with a woman since Kate, and he figured that must be some sort of record. But everything was changing. Kate was a publisher and Mac was without a woman at his side. The world was turned upside down.

He arrived in plenty of time for his interview. He knew from his headhunter that this wasn’t a big publisher, but one with a lot of promise. He liked promise. He was eager to see what this was all about. He headed up twelve floors and stepped out of the elevator. When he did, what he saw startled him. The name on the double glass doors was unmistakable: Lavigne House. His headhunter had said, “A prior editor had left.”

Mac instantly lost his composure. Was he in the right place? He saw Lulu from behind the glass doors. She raced through them and hugged him. “Mac!” She smiled. “I’m so glad you’re here!”

“This is the interview?”

Lulu nodded, unable to contain her excitement. “Right through here.”

Lulu led him through reception and into a fairly vacant office.

“Kate will be right with you.” She smiled and then vanished to the front area.

There were several cubicles and a few offices. He noticed Kate’s name on one of the doors, his name on another.

“Hello, Mac.” Kate walked up to him. A familiar exhilarating thread wove through her. Her heart sped up and her body tingled. Desire, hot and smoldering, burned somewhere deep within her.

“Kate…I…what’s this about?” Mac looked different, tired somehow, maybe defeated. But the intensity of his gaze still heated her.

“Are you still interested in the editor position?”

“Yes, but Kate, look, I think you were right. It’ll be too hard to work together, especially with you marrying Nick.” Of course, Lulu had told him about the wedding.

Somewhere in her grief of ending things with Nick, she’d realized Mac had been right. It wasn’t right; though she loved him and she probably always would, she had never been in love with him like she was with Mac.

She shook her head. “That didn’t prove to be such a great idea, especially since I am in love with someone else.”

Mac cocked an eyebrow. “Anyone I know?” He walked toward her and this time she didn’t try to back away. He took her hands, the spark reverberating through her body, and she could swear she heard the “Hallelujah Chorus”
in her head.

Kate smiled up at him. She was home, finally and forever. “So, will you accept my offer?” she teased. “I know we have humble beginnings, but I know if we’re together, there isn’t anything we can’t accomplish.”

Mac didn’t respond but leaned in to kiss her. He pulled her to him, and as she always did, she melted. His kiss was warm, hot, passionate, and welcoming.

There was no pause of uncertainty, no hesitation. This was where she was meant to be and the man she was meant to be with.

Epilogue

“Darling!” Andrew called out when Kate walked into his dressing room. “It’s not fair that you look more stunning than the bride,” he chirped. Kate wore a pale blue sheath dress that touched just above her knee. It was sleeveless with a delicate scoop neckline, perfect for a lovely fall day in California. Her hair was pinned up just the way Mac liked it.

Kate arched an eyebrow. “Well, thank you, but I have to ask, are you the bride or the groom? I’m not sure of the etiquette here.”

A rolling laughter erupted from Andrew’s throat. “Two men getting married. I’m not sure Emily Post really has an answer for that.”

Kate walked over to her friend and ran her hands along his smooth tuxedo jacket. “You look every bit the rock star, Andrew.” she pecked him on the cheek.

“Though not drunk or high, which is always helpful when you’re getting married.”

“Well, unless you’re Amy Winehouse, bless her poor, lost soul.”

Just then, they heard a chopper overhead. “Bloody hell!” Andrew said. “I thought no one cared about an aging rocker who had just come out of the closet.”

A week prior, Andrew had announced his new book and revealed that the love of his life was James. He promised he’d tell all in his new memoir to be published by Lavigne House.
People Magazine
had been the first to ask if they could cover Andrew’s wedding. It was not an official wedding, but you couldn’t tell by the arrangements. Although it was James’s second wedding, Andrew (despite his many female conquests) had never been married, so the two went all out. And since a wedding in Las Vegas just seemed tacky—“even for a rocker,” Andrew had said—they decided to have it in Monterey, California. Their ceremony would be on the beach with a fabulous reception at the Monterey Peninsula Country Club—mostly in honor of James, who was an avid golfer.

Andrew turned to her. “I’m sure they’re only after Piper.” He grinned, referring to Piper Maru, his good friend and one of the many celebrity friends he and James had invited.

Kate leaned into him and hugged him. “I’m sure they’re not. Now, as your maid of honor, I demand that you finish getting ready so you’re not late to marry the love of your life.”

“And when will you marry the love of your life, Katie?” Andrew whispered. “He’s terribly delicious. If I were you, I’d keep the minister overtime and do this thing now.”

Kate blushed. In the last several months, she’d moved into his apartment and met his sons. They were the spitting image of their father. Her and Mac’s relationship was moving along, and frankly, she was happy the way things were. They attended parties, held hands, and kissed in public. They worked together to create the best possible publishing company, getting great authors and publishing quality books. When Mac first joined Lavigne House, the publishing world couldn’t get enough of the irony. Then when it was official that they were a couple, the invitations to launch parties and awards dinners overflowed their inbox. But most important to Kate was that Grace accepted Mac, and she had.

Kate had returned to California to have the rest of her things moved and to ship Grace’s car. It had been painful and final, and Nick had not been around when she arrived at the house. However, he’d left a note asking her to lock up after she left and indicating where to leave the keys. That was it. They were tethered together because of Allan’s book, and at some point, Kate planned to talk with Nick. Time was a great healer, and when the time was right, she would. She’d never stop caring about him and she would always love him, but only as a friend. If only she’d seen that sooner.

“Let’s go.” Kate smiled. “You have a man to marry who’s waited a long time for this.”

Andrew nodded. “Yes,” he smiled, “he has. I am the luckiest man on earth today.”

…

“Dance with me, Katie.” Mac leaned into her and her spine tingled. God, how she loved the sound of his voice in her ear.

“I’d love to, MacDermott.” She smiled.

Mac lifted her off of her chair. “Have I mentioned how beautiful you look?”

“Only a hundred times,” she smiled.

“Then here’s a hundred and one: You look beautiful.” His eyes filled with a wicked smile, a promise of things to come. He kissed her gently on the lips and the heat coiled inside her. She wondered if she would ever get used to his kisses or if her heart would always perk up when he touched her. She suspected it would.

“The Lavigne movie premiers in LA next week, then New York, and we have a lot of parties to go to.”

“I know,” she sighed, “we need to make sure and bring Lulu to some of them; she’ll have fits with all the celebs.”

Mac nodded. Kate noticed that he seemed a little lost in thought as they swayed to the music. “Carolyn is going overseas with her boyfriend. I wondered if you’d mind us hosting Thanksgiving with the boys?” Kate noticed that he seemed hesitant. As if he worried she might say no.

“Of course. I’d love to!” She was elated. Thanksgiving—a holiday. It was all so new, being a part of Mac’s family, or, well, knowing his sons.

…

“Hang on.” Mac got up and closed his office door. “I can’t meet you, Elizabeth.” Mac said quietly into his phone.

“Please, Mac. I just need to see you.”

“Lizzy, things are different now.”

“I know they are. I just need to talk to you about something.”

Mac hesitated. He wasn’t at all sure this was a good idea. He and Elizabeth had dated for a year before he’d started seeing Kate. It hadn’t ended well; Lizzy had wanted more. Children, a home, a husband. He’d loved her, but it was not what he felt for Kate. Although the end of the relationship had hurt, and when Lizzy decided to leave Morris and Dean it was heartbreaking for both of them. He hadn’t seen her since her final day there. She had refused all his attempts to reach out and make sure she was okay. She’d left publishing to become a freelance editor and had virtually fallen off of his radar screen until now.

He agreed to meet her later that day. As he set the phone down, he wondered if he should tell Kate. She deserved to know, but he also didn’t expect her to be happy about it. He walked to her office. She wasn’t there.

“She’s gone to meet an author,” Lulu said behind him.

“Oh, she didn’t tell me she was leaving.”

“You were on the phone and your door was closed.” she smiled.

Right
, he thought.
Door closed
. She’d respect that. Never mind. He’d go and see what Lizzy wanted and he’d be firm with her. He was divorced, yes, but he was in a serious relationship.

…

Kate trudged through the snow. Six inches had fallen overnight and they expected more the next day. It had been too long since she’d checked on Allan’s apartment. But now she needed to make sure the cleanup crew had done their work. She heard from the management company that the apartment had been rented. Nick had finally decided to rent it. But no word from Nick on that. Just a formal note via the management team letting her know she no longer needed to look after Allan’s apartment. She knew that they would handle the move in, but Kate wanted to check it one last time. To see it again before someone moved in. Hard to believe that it had stood vacant nearly two years.

Kate pulled her jacket tighter around her. She wished she had remembered to bring her earmuffs; it was a bitter twenty degrees out. She’d texted Andrew this morning with a picture of the icicles hanging from the streetlamps.
We could use some heat here. Send whatever you can,
she’d said. Andrew responded with a picture of himself and James in shorts and t-shirts, smiling into the camera.
Sorry Luv. Eighty-four here today.
They were still away on their extended honeymoon in Maui.

Kate walked up the stairs to Allan’s apartment. It was quiet. Everyone no doubt holed up in their warm apartments. She slipped the key in the lock and pushed the door open. She walked inside and looked around. Someone had packed up the remainder of Allan’s things. His table and chairs. There was a box marked “Kate Mitchell” with Mac’s address on it. It was ready for shipping. She walked over to it, puzzled.

“I had them box that up for you,” a familiar voice said behind her. Kate spun around.

It was Nick.

…

Kate took a deep breath; she was ready for a lot but certainly not this. It had been a year, almost to the date, that she and Nick had broken up.

“Nick,” she said finally, her voice croaked slightly. “Nick,” she said again, this time slightly calmer. “What are you doing here?”

“Overseeing the sale.” Nick smiled at her, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. He walked inside and closed the door behind him.

“Sale?” Nick never took his eyes off of her. They almost burned into her; she shifted from one foot to the other. She had wanted to see Nick again, to talk things through, but not right now. She wasn’t prepared for this, and the sight of him shifted her off of her axis. Kate steadied herself against the kitchen table. Nick walked past her and into the kitchen.

“Yes,” he said finally, not looking at her. What a relief not to have his eyes on her. “We got an offer, last minute. It was a good one and I decided to take it.”

“What about the renters?” she asked. He turned back to her. Those eyes. Damn it. Was that hate she saw in them or disgust? Probably both.

Nick shrugged. “Things happen. Stuff doesn’t always work out.” Kate was certain that last line was for her.

“Well, then I’ll just go.”

“Take the box,” he said, his voice flat. Kate hesitated for a moment, but if she was going to do this, she needed to do it now. She inhaled deeply, then again. As she did, she felt herself calm. Kate ran her hand along the box. “Nick,” she began tentatively, “I want to talk with you about what happened.”

“Now is not the time, Kate.” There was a thread of impatience in his voice.

Kate turned to face him. “Then when is, Nick? I’ve tried to reach out to you, to give you time. I want to clear this up between us.”

“Why? So you can feel better about what you did?”

Ouch.
She wasn’t sure where the blade went in, but it was sharp and she was pretty sure it would leave a mark.

Kate felt her throat tighten. “I’m sorry Nick. There is nothing else I can say and if you want me to say it a hundred more times, I will. I’m sorry for what I did.”

Nick did not respond; he just stared at her. Those burning eyes. If this had been a science fiction movie—the ones where the hero or evil villain actually has a set of eyes that can shoot fire—she was sure she would be incinerated by now.

“Nick, I know I hurt you terribly. But I hope you know that I loved you, too, and you made me happy. I just didn’t love you enough, or the way I should have. So, to an extent, I guess you’re right. I never set out to intentionally hurt you, but in the end I did this horrible thing and I’ll never forgive myself for it.” Nick remained silent, just staring at her. It was almost unnerving. Finally, she said, “I just need to know that you’re okay.”

Nick still stared at her, not responding. Kate could see he was just not going to have the discussion she’d hoped.

“Okay then,” she said with a shrug, “I’ll go. When you are ready to talk, please let me know. There is still much to be said, like the fact that I am so grateful to you for getting me through one of the more horrible times of my life. I will never forget what you did for me, and I hope that someday—”

Nick held up a hand. “If you’re going to say I hope we can be friends, save it. It’s a cliché statement that never works. We both know that it won’t.”

That was it then; Nick still had too much anger to even absorb what she was saying. Kate slipped her arms around the box and lifted it. She turned back to Nick. “No, what I was going to say was that if you need someone—a friend, a shoulder, whatever—I’m here. I respect you too much to just throw out a statement like, ‘let’s be friends.’ I just wanted you to know that I’ll do whatever I can to help you, if you ever need it. Goodbye, Nick.”

She turned to leave and for a moment struggled with the old doorknob.

“Wait,” Nick said, his voice softer. He sounded like the Nick she remembered. Kate turned slowly and set the box down.

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat and looked around. “This is where we met. Do you remember that?”

“I do,” she said, in almost a whisper.

“I think I loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you. You were—are—this feisty, fiery woman who loved her job, in spite of the industry; who loved my uncle when the world had turned their backs on him. I loved you for that and for so many other things, Kate.”

Kate felt a tear slip from her eye. She wiped it away.

Nick continued, “I knew when you came to LA that you were broken and coming off of this relationship, this man you loved, and I knew that there was part of your heart I would never have and I told myself it was okay. That I would take what I could if I could have you in my life.” Nick paused for a moment and walked to the other end of the room where Allan’s living room used to be. Nick stood in front of the window.

“I knew, Kate. In my heart, I knew you didn’t love me that way. When you broke it off I was incredibly hurt, but part of me wasn’t surprised. I should have given you more time, insisted that we not rush into our relationship. But, I had this cockamamie idea that we had some destiny to be together because of Uncle Allan and the book. I felt like there was no way we could fail and at the same time part of me always knew we would.” Nick shrugged and turned to face her. “I know it takes two, Kate. And I’m sorry I was so angry with you just now. I just wasn’t prepared to see you today, or ever again.”