Authors: Christina George
“Happy fucking New Year,” he had said to no one.
The office perked alive, he heard Kate arrive, as she greeted Lulu.
“How was your holiday, Kate, did you manage to enjoy it?” Lu asked.
“Yeah, it was good, Lulu, and yours?”
“Fine, you know, New Jersey with the family. Boring actually. Did you see hot Nick over the holidays?” she added, eager for news.
Kate smiled, “I need to get to work, Lu, we’ll talk more later.”
Lulu tried to hide her disappointment but was not successful.
Mac followed Kate to her office, “Morning, Kate, Happy New Year.” He said flatly.
Kate turned, surprised, “I thought you weren’t coming back till later today.”
“I came back early.”
There was something off about Mac; she wasn’t sure what it was, “Is everything ok, Mac?”
No, everything was not ok, she was moving on with her life and he wanted to stop it, but he didn’t know how. The women he’d seen before never challenged him; they were there at the ready. But not Kate. Kate was evaporating before his eyes and he wanted to stop it, he needed to stop it. But he also knew he didn’t have a leg to stand on.
“Sure. Fine. We have Saundra in this week, remember?”
Kate nodded, hanging her coat, “Right, her photo shoot is tomorrow?”
“Yes.”
Mac was acting really strange, maybe something happened with his family, “Was your holiday ok, Mac?” she asked, “You seem off today.”
Mac ignored the question, “The photo shoot should be easy, I know you were planning to go but I think we can manage.” He turned to leave without saying goodbye.
Kate wondered what was up.
.
“You rang?” Kate smiled as Grace opened the door. The first day back to MD had been a long one; all Kate wanted was to go home but Grace had sent her an urgent email that she needed to see her.
Grace hugged her friend, “Katie, I’m so glad you could come by.”
“You didn’t leave me much choice, you said it was urgent. Are you ok?”
“Fine, really. I just made ginger tea, want some?”
“Sure,” Kate removed her coat and followed her friend into Grace’s tiny kitchen.
“I loved meeting Nick, thanks for bringing him by on Christmas.”
Kate smiled, “Sure, it was a good day.” She wondered if she should tell Grace about Allan’s project, she had given Mac a copy of the manuscript and asked him to read it, but didn’t tell him who the author was. She was curious to hear what Mac thought of it.
“How good?” Grace winked, handing her a cup, interrupting her thoughts.
“Very good. He stayed the night.”
Grace hugged her friend, almost causing her to drop her cup, “I’m so happy for you, Katie, and so relieved.”
Kate sighed, “I know.”
“So, tell me more!”
Kate sat on the sofa, “Well, it was great but it only happened once.”
“I thought you said you spent New Year’s Eve with him, too.”
“I did, but nothing happened.” Kate fumbled with the fringe of the blanket, “I need to clear some things up first.” Her voice trailed off.
“With Mac, you mean?”
Kate nodded.
“You love him, don’t you?”
She nodded again. Grace took her hand, “Honey, I know you do, but Nick is great and single…”
“And lives in California.”
“It’s just a plane ride; it’s not a wife and family.”
“Ouch.”
“Sorry, Katie, but look, I am worried about you.”
“Is that why you brought me here, to talk me out of seeing Mac?”
“How long has it been going on?”
“A month, but it feels longer. I’ve never felt this way, for anyone, the way I feel for Mac.”
“He is a player, Katie. He will break your heart.”
Kate set her cup down on the coffee table. She knew the odds, but frankly she was tired of having them thrown in her face, “Look, Grace, I get it, I know, he’s done this before. But I know Mac, and I think I know his heart.”
“No woman ever really knows the heart of a married lover.”
“Grace, look, it’s been a long day, I am really not in the mood….”
“I brought you here to show you a picture of my father.”
Kate frowned, “I’ve seen your father, he’s right there.” She pointed to a picture of him on a shelf. Two smiling faces, Grace’s father and mother.
Grace got up and walked to her narrow desk; she picked up a shoe box and brought it over.
“Gerald was not my father.” She said quietly. Pulling the lid off of the shoe box, she lifted out a picture of a man, a newspaper clipping, and handed it to Kate.
“This was my father, Paul Henry Wagner the third.” Grace’s hand trembled slightly.
“Grace, I don’t understand….”
“When my mother was our age, she fell in love with Paul; he was a senator and married. They had an affair that spanned seven years. Paul was smart, witty, and, as you can see, very handsome. He took her to lovely restaurants and on trips to Europe. One day, she discovered she was pregnant and he insisted she ‘get rid of it.’ My mother refused and Paul cut her off. It broke her heart,” Grace’s voice was heavy with emotion.
“She met Gerald while she was pregnant; he owned a gas station and knew my mother for years. Gerald was plain, not bad looking, and nothing that my mother had ever hoped for, but he loved her and he loved me as though I was his own. She told me before she died.”
Kate was at a loss for words. The shoe box was filled with memorabilia, which Kate assumed had once belonged to her mother. Ticket stubs and photographs. All that was left of a love affair contained in a dusty old box.
Kate reached for her friend’s hand, “Gracie, I’m really sorry. But I don’t see how….”
“When she was dying,” Grace interrupted, “she told me the story, and how she had loved Paul all of her life, even though she’d loved Gerald, too. Paul was her first and greatest love. He never called to check on her and after I was born never cared to even know me. He just vanished and took her heart with him. She never got over it.”
Kate was silent. What do you say to an admission like that?
“You need to let Mac go, Kate.” Grace insisted, “You may not see it now, but I do. You love him, you are crazy about him and Mac is dashing and handsome and funny and all the things women want. But he’s married and he always will be.”
Kate felt a tear swell in her eye, “I-I don’t know, I need to think about this….”
Grace took her hands, “There’s nothing to think about, Kate. Married men never leave, ever. You will be left with a shoe box and nothing more if you don’t let him go. I love you, Katie, I don’t want to see you suffer like my mother did.”
“I’m so sorry, Grace, really, I’m very sorry this happened to her… and to you.”
Kate left Grace and headed home, but she found she couldn’t go home. Not just yet. So, she wandered the streets of New York aimlessly hoping the answer to the dilemma she faced would somehow present itself.
She needed Mac, she loved Mac. Then there was Nick—sweet, tender, carefree Nick—who lived three thousand miles away but was more available to her than Mac ever would be. She liked Nick. And she knew she could love him. But Mac left her breathless. Kate thought about Allan’s manuscript and the possibilities there. Maybe she should just leave New York and follow Nick to California. Though she knew that wasn’t an option, her home was here, as was her heart.
.
Kate woke up Tuesday morning resolved to let Mac go. It was for the best. She was getting in too deep already. A month into it and he already consumed her. Nick was leaving for California later that day, he’d asked to see her the night before but she had declined. She lied and said she wasn’t feeling well. Kate agreed to meet him for breakfast at a little place around the corner from where she lived.
Nick was waiting for her when she arrived, “It’s good to see you, Katie.” Nick kissed her. She loved his kisses, she knew now with all certainty that she was doing the right thing.
“It’s good to see you, too.”
“I grabbed us a table and got us coffee. How about some croissants for breakfast? If I’m going to kill myself with toxins, I may as well finish it off with something I like.”
Kate laughed, “Sure.”
Nick returned a few minutes later with two croissants, butter, and jam.
“Nick, I’m sorry that, well, that things didn’t go as you may have wanted after…”
“After we made love,” he said, taking a bite out of his croissant.
Kate nodded, “I loved our time together, but I need to clean up some things in my life first, before I can, you know, move on…”
Nick smiled, “I knew there was someone else, Kate, I always did and I appreciate your honesty. When I come back in a few weeks, I’d love to see you again. If things are cleared up, maybe we can take it from there.”
“The distance may be hard,” she said.
“You are worth every mile, Kate. And I have much more flexibility than you do. If you are willing, we’ll find a way to make this work.”
“One step at a time, okay?” she asked.
He brushed a piece of hair out of her face, “One step at a time,” he said, kissing her lightly on the mouth.
When Kate left Nick, she called Mac.
“Hello?”
“Mac, it’s Kate. Look, I know you’re headed to the photo shoot but can I see you later today?”
“Did Nick leave?”
“Yes, but that has nothing to do with my wanting to see you.”
Mac was silent, “Sure, dinner. It will be good to spend time with you, Katie.”
“By the way, what did you think of that book?”
“Who wrote it?”
“I can’t tell you yet. What did you think?”
“It’s fucking brilliant. It’s the most stunning piece of literature I’ve read in years.”
Kate was stunned, “Seriously?”
“I never kid about this stuff. It’s unbelievable. I’d love to sign this author; this book has got best seller written all over it. Can I talk to the author? I swear I’ll get them the best deal on the planet.”
“Let me see what I can do, we can talk about it later. Have fun with Saundra.”
“You mean Skinny Saundra.”
Kate laughed, “Yes, your Skinny Saundra.”
“How do I get roped into these projects, Katie?”
“Because you’re in publishing, Mac, it’s what you do.”
“Some days I think I’d feel better if I was selling my soul to the devil.”
Kate laughed, “I’ll see you later, Mac.”
.
Kate didn’t feel right about letting Mac handle the Saundra photo shoot alone. The author could be a handful, she knew that from her many dealings with her. Kate stopped by the office to check on a few things and then headed off to the photo studio just as Mac was arriving. He looked surprised to see her.
“I know you said you didn’t need me, but I think it might be better if I’m here, too. Saundra could be….”
“Difficult?” he smiled. “I’m glad you’re here, Katie. I’ve missed you.”
Kate sighed, she had missed Mac, too.
Kate stepped into the elevator as Mac started to speak, “Kate, I have to tell you again, that book is unreal. I read it in one sitting. I’ve never read anything like it.”
Kate smiled, “Mac, I need you to keep a secret.”
The doors opened, and Kate fell silent. The photographer rushed to meet them. The studio was empty.
“Isn’t Saundra supposed to be here?” Mac asked.
“An hour ago,” the photographer wailed, “she was supposed to be in makeup an hour ago and no one can find her.” He flailed his arms in the air, “I cannot work like this, the light is changing, everything will be ruined!”
Mac rolled his eyes; Kate forced herself to not laugh. It wasn’t funny, really, but the photographer was beyond colorful. Mac dialed a number on his phone.
“Sandy, darling, we’re all here, where are you?” Mac nodded, “Great, see you in a few.”
He turned to the photographer, “You are the best in the business, Eric, make do with the light you have, our girl will be here in thirty minutes. She’s just running late.”
“I just don’t know, I just don’t know.” Eric walked through his studio and then disappeared into a back room.
Mac turned to Kate, “Let’s have a seat, fucking Saundra, there goes my day. Jesus it’ll take them an hour to do makeup and then the shoot. I’m glad you’re here, now tell me about this book and no, I won’t tell a soul, I swear.”