The Pull of Destiny (26 page)

“Exactly,” Dr.
Khan was saying as I stopped thinking about CiCi long enough to listen to him.

“I got faith in
you, doc. Even though you always give me bad news, I know you got my back.”

Dr. Khan
nodded, smiling at me. “You must continue to think positive, Lucas. You’re
dealing with your situation very well for someone your age. I’m impressed.”

“Thanks, doc,”
I said modestly.

“Did you go to
see your therapist?” he asked.

I shook my
head. Going to therapy was the last thing on my mind. I hated the couch, hated
my therapist for asking me the same questions over and over and I really
couldn’t stand the carpet she had.

“I haven’t been
to my therapist in months,’ I admitted. My dad wasn’t pleased with that, but he
couldn’t make me go! Anyway, I didn’t need therapy. I knew I was a screw up; I
didn’t really want to know
why
I was a screw up. “I found some therapy
of my own.”

I grinned,
thinking of CiCi’s bright smile and those amazing hazel eyes and how she was so
pretty but seriously had no idea.

“Do elaborate,”
Dr. Khan said, curiosity lacing his voice. “It seems to be helping you. Maybe I
could prescribe your ‘therapy’ to others.”

Shaking my
head, I said, “It’s just a girl I go to school with. She’s helping me with my
bucket list.”

A nervous look
slid on Dr. Khan’s face. “Lucas-,” he started.

I cut in,
already knowing where he was headed. “I know I’m not going to die. But I need
to keep busy and not think about- this- otherwise I’ll go crazy. So I’m working
on my list.” Shrugging, I looked at the doctor, who now had an expression of
total understanding on his face. “It’s helping me stay positive.”

“That’s a very
good thing, then.”

I nodded.
“Yeah, it is.”

At the back of
my mind, I wondered if it was still about the list or if things were slowly
getting a little bit more personal and I quickly laughed it off. So CiCi had
confided in me. That didn’t mean
anything
, did it?

Dr. Khan stood
up, his hands behind his back. “Is your dad picking you up today?” he asked,
taking a few steps forward then turning to face me.

“Nope, my
step-mom,” I replied.

I hated being a
minor. Why couldn’t I just sign my own forms and walk out when I was done?

“I see. Well,
when you see your dad, tell him I said congratulations,” Dr. Khan said.

I wrinkled my
brow as I looked at him.

“For what?” I
asked, wondering what the old man could have done to merit a ‘congratulations’
from anyone.

“The award he
won. He’s being honored for it this weekend, at the gala,” Dr. Khan told me,
looking at me like he suspected I was just pulling his leg and knew all about
this award.

Scratching my
head, I said, “You mean the gala’s for him?”

Now Dr. Khan
was actually laughing, sure that I was just playing around. “You mean to tell
me that you didn’t know?”

“What’s the
award for?” I asked, ignoring his question. Of course I didn’t know, nobody in
that house ever told me anything! I felt pretty stupid asking my doctor what my
dad was being awarded for, especially since he was looking at me like he
couldn’t quite believe it. I knew I should be asking my dad, but screw it. He
wouldn’t tell me anything.

“It’s the
Albert Schweitzer Gold Medal for Humanitarianism,” Dr. Khan told me, making me
wonder how the hell anyone would remember that mouthful.

I laughed. Why
would anyone give my dad a humanitarian award? What were they smoking? “That
does
not
sound like my dad,” I said, wiping the tears of mirth from my
eyes.

“On the
contrary, your father has been a very big help to various causes,” Dr. Khan
said reverently. “And your mother-.”

“Step-mom,” I
interrupted automatically. I couldn’t help it. I loved Hope, but she wasn’t my
mom.

“Yes, sorry.
Your step mother is the head of a very successful charity. Their good deeds
have not gone unnoticed.”

I sighed. “No
wonder he’s so anal about me getting a date for the stupid gala,” I realized.

“You still
don’t have a date?” Dr. Khan asked in disbelief. “A good looking guy like you?”

Laughing, I
explained, “I just don’t know any girls I’d want to spend 5 hours at a boring
gala with.”

Ever since I
broke up with Joanna, I hadn’t dated anyone. It wasn’t for the lack of offers;
I just couldn’t get back into the dating game, no matter what I tried. The
girls I met these days were either so shallow and wrapped up in themselves that
they bored me, or they were obsessive girls who knew my daily schedule off by
heart. No thanks!

“Maybe you
should take your school friend,’ Dr. Khan said mildly.

I squinted up
at him, feeling puzzled. “What friend?”

“The one helping
you with your list,” he elaborated, a knowing smile on his face. “If you can
stand to be around her while she’s helping you with your bucket list, 5 hours
should be a cinch.”

I bit my lip
broodingly. This was the second time that someone told me to take CiCi to the
gala. Coincidence or something else? I shrugged that thought off. Definitely
coincidence. I didn’t believe in fate, destiny or any of that garbage.

“Those events
are always so boring,” I said lamely. “I don’t think she’d like it there.”

“You never know
till you ask. After all, she’ll be going to spend time with you.” Dr. Khan
tipped me a wink. “And now, let me take my leave. Have a good day, Lucas.”

“See ya, doc.”

After a nod in
my direction, Dr. Khan strode out of the room, leaving me deep in thought.

Should I really
take CiCi to the gala?

Celsi’s
Point of View

I dragged
myself through the front door of our apartment, exhausted from an afternoon
spent shopping with Robyn, who still wasn’t satisfied with her dress.

“It’s got to be
the same color as my shoes,” was her mantra all afternoon as we walked up and
down Fifth Avenue, searching for the perfect dress.
No luck.

In the lobby I
stopped to chat with Mrs. Childs, the oldest tenant in our building and (in my
opinion, at least) the biggest gossip in New York.
The entire state, not
just the city.
She was glowing with the news that her granddaughter had
been accepted at Columbia, making her the first member of the Childs family to
go to university.

“If she can do
it, so can you, honey,” Mrs. Childs said in her creaky voice, patting my cheek
with her gnarled hand. “You have a special purpose in life, I just know it.”

I smiled
ruefully, thinking about the raise in tuition fees. I still hadn’t told Aunt
Kelly about that and I wasn’t looking forward to her reaction. Right now,
university was so out of the question.

My shoulders
hurt from lugging my bag around as I let myself into the apartment. Thankfully
I set it down on the peeling kitchen counter and walked to the dark living
room, hoping Aunt Kelly was there. Last night, I got home too late to talk to
her and she had left for work before I woke up. The living room was empty but
over the loud music coming from Nate’s room, I heard the shower running.
Phew,
she’s home.

Massaging my
shoulders, I picked up my heavy bag and headed to my room, passing Nate’s room
on the way. His door was open and the loud sounds of 50 Cent blasted from his
CD player while he did sit ups. I sagged with relief as I waved at him.

“Hi, Nate.”

He must not
have had anything to drink today because he only worked out when he was sober.
My
lucky day!
God knows, I needed a break after the day I was having. Piles of
homework, Robyn acting like a dress tyrant, not seeing Luke all day...

“Hey, Celsi,”
Nate panted, pausing for a second, his hands behind his head, rivulets of sweat
running down his face. “Make me a sandwich, will ya?”

“Sure, just let
me put my bag in my room,” I said rapidly, moving away from the door. When Nate
wanted something, it was best to do it immediately.

“And no mayo!”
he yelled after me.

“Okay,” I said,
thanking my lucky stars that he was sober. When Nate wasn’t drunk, he seemed to
tolerate me more. When he was drunk... I shuddered. That was another story
altogether.

So why did
you tell Luke that he didn’t hit you?
Shut up, mind. Anyway, Nate hadn’t hit
me in a long time, not since Aunt Kelly yelled him out over the book incident.
He used verbal and emotional abuse these days. Unfortunately, it worked, even
though I tried not to let it show. And even if Luke knew, what could he do to
stop it?
At least he would know about it!
Then what? I shrugged to
myself, staring at myself in the mirror in my room. What Luke knew was more
than enough. I had already said way too much, making a fool of myself and
crying all over Luke to boot. He already looked at me like I was nuts. Now he
would tag me as a cry baby.
Ugh
.

I popped into
the kitchen, busying myself with placing a piece of bread on top of the ham
sandwich. Grumbling to himself, Nate stomped into the kitchen, looking irate.

Pasting a smile
on my face, I handed him the saucer. “Here’s your sandwich,” I said.

He snatched it
from me without a word.
You are so welcome.

He stomped to
his room as I turned back to the counter to make a sandwich for Aunt Kelly. She
deserved one and at least she would be more appreciative than Nate. Luckily I
was full because Robyn treated me to pizza.

We were down to
our last loaf of bread.

Aunt Kelly was
in the living room, her feet curled under her as she rested on our battered
couch. She smiled up at me as I entered the room.

“Hi, sweetie,”
she said. I smiled back at her. No matter what was wrong in my life, it seemed
that Aunt Kelly could make me forget about it with just one smile.

“Hi auntie. I
made you a sandwich.”

I handed her
the plate, noting the lines of exhaustion on her face close up. She was working
too hard, but I couldn’t do anything about that. We were living hand to mouth
as it was.

“Thank you,
dear.” She frowned slightly as she took the saucer, patting the spot next to
her. “Sit by me, dear.”

I sat next to
her, resting my head on her shoulder as she put an arm around me.

“Have you
already eaten?”

I nodded.
“Yeah, Robyn bought me pizza,” I said.

“Bought you?
Didn’t you just get paid?” Aunt Kelly asked. Whenever I got paid, I tried to
give her money to contribute to everything. She always refused, saying that I
was a growing girl; I needed to have some money of my own.

“Nate took my
cash,” I told her softly.

She sighed,
sounding annoyed. “I’ll tell him to give it back to you.”

I shook my
head. “No, it’s okay.”
God, if she makes Nate give me back my money, he
would get so angry at me.

“I don’t want
you accepting handouts,” Aunt Kelly frowned.

“Robyn always
buys me food if I’m with her. She’d be offended if I refused,” I explained.
Aunt Kelly was proud like that. She didn’t want anyone taking advantage of me,
just because I was poor.

“Okay,” she
said, still not sounding too pleased. She changed the subject. “How did your
meeting with the Financial Aid Officer go?”

Hesitantly I
told her and she sighed, closing her eyes. “Oh, dear,” she said slowly.

Guilt twisted
my stomach. “I’ve decided I’m gonna drop out if I have to,” I told her,
slipping my hand in hers. It wasn’t fair. Aunt Kelly worked herself to the bone
for me. At least if I was at a public school, we’d be better off.

But Aunt Kelly
shook her head, an adamant look on her face. “No. You’re almost finished with
school, sweetie. I couldn’t ask you to do that,” she said fondly.

“But auntie, we
can’t afford to keep me at Dalton,” I protested.

“There’s no
such thing as can’t, dear.” She smiled at me. “We’ll find a way. We always
have.”

I ran a hand
through my hair, tears coming to my eyes as I thought about this new set of
troubles I was bringing to the family. “I don’t want to be a burden, auntie,” I
whispered. “I don’t need to be at Dalton.”

Aunt Kelly gave
me a stern look. “Celsiana, you’re not a burden. You’re my pride and joy. Your
heart is too big for this ghetto. You’re gonna get out of here one day and
you’ll need to have a good education,” she said, patting my cheek. My lip
trembled and I wanted to cry because of the love in her voice.