The Pursuit (24 page)

“Would you like me to go in with the boys for a time?”

“No, we’re safe—I realize that. I just needed to see them. Thank you, Denley.”

Denley gave a small bow and moved down the hall. Niki stood until his lantern light disappeared and her own eyes grew accustomed to the dark once again. Hoping she hadn’t disturbed anyone else, she returned to her room and lay for a time in the dark.

She settled against her pillow, thinking about God being in all places at all times. It didn’t take long for her to see that right now it was more than she could mentally manage. She curled up on her side and told herself to sleep.

Pembroke

“What are you doing, Cassandra?”

Arms full of books, Cassandra turned to look at her husband, feeling very surprised at his reproving tone.

“I’m organizing some of my books. I’ve been meaning to for ages.”

Tate took the large stack from her arms, including the two she held in one hand.

“I don’t want you lifting or doing heavy jobs,” Tate declared, setting the books on a shelf.

Cassandra stared at him. Had he really meant that? Did he know how silly he sounded?

“It’s just a few books,” she said quietly, watching his face.

“I want you resting. The books will always be here.”

Cassandra, whose looks usually gave away every thought, continued to watch him with little expression on her face. When Tate looked back, she tried again.

“You don’t wish me to do this at all, or was I lifting too many books at one time?”

Cassandra had not meant to sound sarcastic, but the narrowing of Tate’s eyes told her that she hadn’t pulled it off.

“I don’t want to see you doing this at all,” Tate emphasized, his voice low and quite serious.

“Can we talk about this, Tate, or is your mind made up?”

“My mind is made up,” Tate said swiftly, even as the look on his wife’s face gave him pause. He thought Cassandra would be all for this. He thought she would enjoy nine months of resting and being a lady of leisure, but her face and her voice were saying otherwise.

Nevertheless,
Tate reasoned,
it’s for the best.

However, an hour later when Tate couldn’t immediately find Cassandra, he began to have doubts. He looked around the mansion—a large place in anyone’s estimation, and even larger when looking for someone—and finally found her in their bedroom. To his astonishment, she was cleaning and organizing again.

“Cassandra,” he asked sternly this time. “What are you doing?”

Cassandra turned with a few undergarments draped over her arm.

“I’m cleaning out this drawer. It’s overflowing with things I don’t wear.”

“I thought I made myself clear,” Tate said, even going so far as to remove the shift and petticoat from her grasp. “I want you to rest.”

“I thought that was just about the books,” Cassandra said quietly, hoping he wasn’t really going to press her on this.

“I want you resting. Period.”

Cassandra felt anger rising within her. That this was utter nonsense was only too clear to her, and she planned to tell her husband just how she felt! Her mouth was opening to do just that when Hastings, Tate’s man, came to the door looking for him. Cassandra watched him leave, realizing that she was much too emotional at the moment.

Just remembering to tell her maid where she was headed, Cassandra grabbed a light wrap and took the back stairs. She walked out the rear door of Pembroke and onto the veranda. Not noticing the lovely blooms all around her, Cassandra began to walk in the garden, working to pray and calm down.

She traversed the grounds amid hedges and shrubs, walking swiftly but not really taking heed of anything around her. Her mind was nowhere near settled when she looked up to see Tate heading her way.

The sight of him made her angry all over again. Cassandra stopped, spun in the opposite direction, and walked on. She wanted to discuss this with Tate in a reasonable manner, but she feared if she talked to him right now, she would say things she did not mean.

Thinking he would understand her need to be alone, Cassandra was visibly startled to suddenly have him overtake her. She jumped and turned to face him, the scare making her even more upset, a fact proven by how red her cheeks had become.

Tate didn’t immediately notice. Instead he made the mistake of asking for the third time in one day, “What are you doing?”

“I’m getting away from your nonsensical rules,” Cassandra said ruthlessly, shocking her husband into silence.

Cassandra took his silence as understanding and started on her way once again. She didn’t quicken her pace but kept steadily on, taking several minutes to realize Tate was still with her. She stopped and faced him.

“You’re angry,” he said in surprise.

“Yes, and if we talk right now, I’m going to say things I’ll regret.”

Tate stared down at her. His heart had tried to tell him he was going too far, but he’d ignored it.

Again Cassandra took his silence for compliance or understanding and resumed her walk. Tate stayed with her, but Cassandra didn’t stop or try to speak. She felt tears fill her eyes and used the back of her hand to swiftly wipe them away.

Tate saw the movement. If there had been any anger left, it drained away in view of his wife’s distress. He didn’t try to engage her in conversation but kept a steady pace by her side as she walked. In time she slowed, and Tate cast looks in her direction. Cassandra did the same.

By the time they had made a large circle and were back at the rear of the house, Cassandra was ready to sit down. Tate joined her on the bench, the very bench on which Cassandra had shared her news with him.

“Are you all right?” Tate asked after a moment of silence.

Greatly calmed but a little wary, Cassandra answered, “If you’re going to tell me that I can’t go for walks, I’m going to move back in with Henry and Edward until the baby’s born.”

For some reason this amused Tate. He laughed a little, bringing his wife’s eyes to him.

“We haven’t handled this very well, have we?” Cassandra asked.

“No, I’m afraid we haven’t. I thought you would want to rest and lie about.”

“Why did you think I would?” Cassandra asked, wishing she’d been calm enough to ask him about this to begin with.

“I don’t know. I certainly never imagined you wanting to organize and stay so busy.”

“Why is it so important to you, Tate? Why must I rest?”

Tate shrugged a little, at a loss for words.

Cassandra waited.

“I thought it would be best for the baby. And for you,” he finally confessed.

“How many expectant women have you been around?”

“None, I guess. I just imagined how it would be. Anne Weston had to rest.”

“The doctor did not send her to bed until she had signs of strain. Until then she just lived her life. Marianne Jennings did the same thing. I believe Lydia Palmer did as well, and that’s not even mentioning Judith Hurst. None of their pregnancies had complications, at least not serious ones, and for the most part they just lived their lives. I was planning on doing the same.”

The couple fell silent, Cassandra thinking Tate would have something to add, and Tate musing over what his wife had shared. Cassandra gave Tate a little time but then asked if he was still upset. Before he could answer, Hastings came from the house and approached.

“Yes, Hastings?”

“Mrs Morland is here, sir.”

“Tell her we’ll be right in.”

“Yes, sir.”

Cassandra looked at her husband, regret filling her for the way she’d been angry with him.

Tate looked back at Cassandra and shook his head. “We’ll talk about this as soon as Lizzy leaves, all right?”

“I’m sorry I was angry at you.”

“And I’m sorry I wouldn’t slow down long enough to listen to you.”

Tate slid his hand between them on the bench and Cassandra reached for it. Husband and wife rose from the bench together and headed indoors.

Blackburn Manor

Niki dismissed the boys from the breakfast table, as they were both finished with their meal. She asked them to remain indoors, but they made sure she was coming to play with them soon. With a promise to do just that, Niki sent them on their way.

“They certainly talk a lot, Niki,” Walker said quietly when it was just the three adults. “Where do they get that? I know it’s not from you.”

“Edward Steele said that very thing to me yesterday. I think the boys chatter because Gar and Juliana allow them to.”

Walker looked thoughtful, and Niki watched him closely.

“I’m sorry they disturbed your breakfast.”

“It’s not that, Niki, but a person who chatters incessantly reveals a restless heart. I know they’re still very young, but it would be good if they could understand the importance of being quiet. They need to learn how to be comfortable in silence and have the right thoughts about it.”

“How do I go about teaching them that?”

“I think taking time to sit and work on it would be helpful. Have the boys sit, and tell them they can’t speak or wiggle about. I also think that learning a Bible verse might help.”

“Which verse?”

“Can I get back to you on that?”

“Of course,” Niki answered as she reached for her teacup, her heart still thoughtful. After only one sip she added, “I don’t think I’ve ever memorized a verse. You might have to show me how to teach them.”

“We’ll keep it easy,” he assured her.

Little conversation was shared as they finished their meal, but as soon as Niki went to check on her sons, Mary Walker spoke to her husband.

“How do you think she’s doing?”

“I think she’s doing well. What do you think?”

“I think she’s remarkably sweet. I wish she and the boys would stay forever.”

“I wouldn’t count on that, Mary—not unless she can learn to relax.”

Mary Walker’s eyes widened.

“You don’t think she’s relaxed?”

“Not very often. She worries after the boys—and with good reason—but it’s more than that.”

Mary waited for her husband to elaborate, but he didn’t. She could have pressed him on the subject, but something held her back. With a mental shrug, she realized it didn’t matter. Just being aware of Niki’s tension was helpful. Mary would pray about that very thing, but she would also be watchful of it herself.

“Do you boys know what this book is?” Walker asked of the twins.

The boys looked at the Bible that he had open in his hands, and Christopher said, “It’s a Bible. Mama read to us at Christmas.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Did she also tell you that God has written this book so we can know about Him?”

“We know about God,” Christopher volunteered.

“What do you know, Christopher?”

“Mama prays to Him.”

“Yes, she does. Why do you think she does that?”

The boys shrugged, not ready with an answer.

Walker looked to Niki.

“Do you want to tell the boys?”

“Certainly. I pray to God for many reasons, but especially because the Bible commands us to pray and also so I’ll learn to trust Him. I ask Him to take care of me and my family.”

“That’s an important thing to do,” Walker praised her. “And it’s also important to memorize verses from the Bible. And so today I want you boys to learn a verse with me. Do you think you can do that?”