The Quest for the Heart Orb (23 page)

“When you asked to hold the Ti-Ank and became so angry when I refused,” Karma said softly.  Tomas nodded. 

“I’ve thought and thought about that and could never understand it,” he said.  “I
remember
wanting to hold it, but I didn’t know why.  I know I don’t want to touch it now.”  He shook his head.  “I know I’ve done and said a lot of awful things over the years.  I was a fool, I know that now, and I take full responsibility for all the cruel, jealous, spiteful things I did and said over the years.  But my behavior during those few weeks has…haunted me.  It was so much worse than even I could understand.”

“Sir Tomas, would you please check my neck?” Marl asked in a low voice.  Every eye in the room went to him, but Ren got to her feet and turned around to face him.

“Please, allow me.”

Marl met Ren’s gaze for a long moment.  Then he nodded and turned around.  Ren reached up with shaking hands, understanding just how important this moment was for Marl.  And herself.  She hesitated, then gently slid his hair out of the way to bare the back of his neck.  There, plain for all to see in the candlelight, was the circular white scar she’d described.

“It’s there, isn’t it,” Marl said.  His voice was low, but everyone heard him in the silence of the tent.

“Yes,” Ren said, releasing his hair.  “You fought it, Marl,” she said as he turned to face her.  “That’s why you don’t remember what happened to you.  You fought it until it nearly killed you, and when it finally left, it took your memories of its presence with it.”

Marl opened his mouth to speak, but was so overcome with emotion that his voice failed him.  He turned to Zakiel in desperation and bowed.  “We shall guard her carefully in your absence, Sir Marl,” Zakiel said, understanding the man’s unspoken need.  Marl straightened, looked at Ren once more, then turned and left the tent.

“Will he be all right?” Ren asked when she sat back down.

“I think so,” Kapia said.  “Thanks to you, he’s regained his honor, if not his memory.  We all thank you for that.”

“Yes, Hara Ren,” Zakiel said.  “You have our greatest thanks and deepest appreciation.”  Ren flushed red, at a loss for words, but she ducked her head in a nod.  It seemed to be enough.

“This does not say much for me, or my honor, does it,” Tomas said, his voice filled with despair.  “Other than being nastier than usual, I suspected nothing.  I certainly never thought anything was
wrong
with me.”

“No,” Ren said sharply, straightening up and turning to look directly at Tomas.  “A person cannot be judged by their ability to recognize the presence of a
caraspu
.  The storekeeper I spoke of was a good and honorable man.  The cook who attacked Karma was a good man.  They’re victims, as you were a victim, Sir Tomas, and as Sir Marl was a victim.  It’s good that Sir Marl knows he fought, because it’s knowledge he needed.  But it doesn’t mean that you are not a good man, too.”

“I wasn’t a good man, Hara Ren,” Tomas said.  “Not then.  But I was never evil, and I never physically harmed anyone outside of battle.  It helps to know that I may not be fully responsible for some of the more horrible things I thought and said, and I thank you for that.  But I cannot absolve myself of all guilt, either.”

“Tomas, please check my neck,” Zakiel asked.  Tomas’s eyes widened and he immediately moved behind Zakiel to do as he’d asked.  Everyone breathed a sigh of relief when Tomas announced that Zakiel’s neck bore no marks.  After that everyone in the tent was checked, but no one else had a mark.

“I’ve spent many years studying everything I could find on demons,” Zakiel said.  “Yet, never have I read or heard a hint of this thing.”

“Its name means
hidden one,
and for good reason,
”
Ren said
.
  “Few people know of them, and their very nature keeps it that way.”

“You said you learned of them in your studies,” Zakiel said.  “Where did you study?”

“At Sanctuary,” Ren replied.  “It’s an orphanage and school created by Vatra Gariel a thousand years ago for the
Braii
, the Sisterhood.  He included an extensive library, which holds many scrolls on demons.”

“Perhaps one day I will visit Sanctuary and beg for the opportunity to view those scrolls,” Zakiel said.  “Do you know if there’s a way to force the demon to leave a person without killing him, or her?”

“If the victim dies while the demon is present, it becomes trapped and will soon die,” Ren said. “Because of that, the demon will generally vacate its victim immediately once its presence is known.  The
caraspu
inside of Gavon was unable to leave him when he died, so it’s trapped and will also die.” 

“Does this demon travel from one person to another?” Karma asked.

“Yes,” Ren replied.  “It constantly searches for a way to cause the most trouble and pain.”

“Fortunately, the demon leaves a mark that is easy to see and identify,” Zakiel said.  “We’ll just have to put a routine in place whereby everyone is checked regularly, and by more than one person.”

“What if the demon doesn’t leave once it’s discovered?” Bredon asked.

“I don’t know,” Zakiel said.  “We’ll have to figure that out if, and when, it happens.”

***

Marl stood at the outer edge of the camp, staring into the black, starless sky.  Knowing that he’d been possessed by a demon hadn’t freed any new memories of his dark time, but it did cause him to look at the memories he had in a different light.  It disgusted him to know that a demon had lived within his body, but all things considered, he could deal with it.  What was most important to him was that he’d defied it.  Somehow, he’d known it was there and he’d fought it as surely as any battle he’d ever fought with spear or blade.

That knowledge allowed the wounds in his mind and heart to begin healing.  For the first time since his return to the Orb Quest, he could believe in himself again.  And it was all thanks to Ren.  He smiled.  Of course it had been Ren who saved him.  It could not have been anyone else.  He turned around, intending to go and find her now that he’d composed himself, then stopped in his tracks when he saw her walking toward him.

“You are alone?” he asked, tensing suddenly as his eyes roamed the camp.

“Sir Stiven is back there somewhere, keeping an eye on me,” she said.  “Are you all right, Sir Marl?”

“Because of you I am better than all right,” he said. 

“No, because of me you had to wait two weeks longer than you should have to learn the truth,” she said.  “I’m so sorry.”

“What do you mean?” Marl asked.

“When you told me about your lapse in memory it struck some part of what I use for a mind as familiar.  I’ve spent days trying to figure it out, but if Karma hadn’t been attacked tonight, I doubt I’d ever have understood.  It was Gavon’s behavior that reminded me of the storekeeper because they both acted so out of character.  It was only when I remembered reading about the different ways people generally react to the
caraspu
that I understood.  I should have figured it out so much sooner, and I’m sorry that I didn’t.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Ren,” Marl said.  “Because of you I know that my honor is still intact.  The emptiness is still there in my mind, but it doesn’t matter anymore because I know
why
it’s there now, and it’s a reason I can live with.”

“I’m so glad,” Ren said, relaxing.  “Of course, I never had any doubts about you, but you know that.”

“Yes, I know,” Marl said.  He smiled as he stared down into her eyes.  “I love you, Ren of the Mareon.”

“You…
love
me?” Ren was stunned.  She suspected that he cared for her.  But love?  Had she ever been loved before?  She frowned as she tried to remember.

“I love you more than I have words to express,” Marl said.  Just that fast tears filled Ren’s eyes and overflowed, leaving metallic blue-green trails down her cheeks.  Marl wiped the tears away with gentle fingers, but she barely noticed.  “Ren?”

“Yes?” she asked, focusing on his face.  She shook her head.  “I’m sorry, it’s just that…well…I’m surprised.”

“Surprised that I love you?”

“No.  Yes.  I mean no, I’m surprised
anyone
would love me,” she explained.  “It just seems so…fantastic.”  She peered up at him.  “Is this a dream?  Am I sleeping?”

Marl wanted to laugh, but her surprise at being loved at all prevented that.  “No, Ren, it is not a dream, and you are not sleeping.  Has no one ever told you they loved you before?”

“Not that I remember,” she said.  “I suppose my mother did.  In fact, from the memories I have of her, I’m sure she must have.  I just don’t remember it.  I’m quite sure no one else has ever loved me though.”

“What of your father?”

Ren’s breath caught.  “I don’t know.”

“You could ask him.”

“You know,” she said softly. 

“Of course I know,” Marl said.  “But we can talk about that another time.” 

“Yes, please,” she said, not wanting to leave the subject of love just yet.  “Marl, no one has ever told me that they love me before.  Not in my memory.  And I’ve never said those words to anyone, either.  Until now.”  She took a deep breath and met his gaze in the dim light.  “I love you, Marl.  So much.”

“Thank you,” he said, his eyes closing as he savored the words.  He opened them again and stared into Ren’s shining eyes.  “I ask that you agree to court me, Ren.  If you say yes, I promise that I will tell you that I love you every day.” 

“Court?” Ren asked, tilting her head curiously.  “I’m happy to say yes, but I don’t know what that means.”

“It means that we have feelings for each other, and we agree that we’ll try to get to know one another better to see if our feelings grow.”

“I see,” Ren said.  “What happens after that?”

“If we agree we want to spend our lives together, we become engaged, which means we intend to marry.  After that, we get married.”

“If this is what you want, then yes, I agree,” Ren said.

“Is it not what you want?” Marl asked, his entire body tensing with sudden worry.

“Not really, no,” Ren said.  Marl’s eyes widened in shock and his face paled, but she was busy considering her next words and it was quite dark, so she didn’t see it.  “I already know I want to be with you forever.  But, since I’m obviously unfamiliar with the proper rituals, I will let you guide us both in this.”

Marl let out a shaky breath.  “You scared me there for a moment.”

“I did?” Ren asked.  “I’m sorry.  What did I do?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Marl said.  “I feel as you do, but I think we should attempt to follow the usual rituals if we can.”

“As you wish,” Ren said, smiling.  “Except for one thing.”

“Which is?”

“Please stop calling me
Hara
,” she said. 

“Only if you stop calling me
Sir
.”

“Agreed.”

“I will add the gold bead to my egora, in the courting position, tonight,” Marl said.  “You’ve made me a very happy man, Ren, in so many ways.  Thank you.”

“You make me happy too, Marl,” she said, dropping her eyes as her cheeks heated. 

Marl placed a gentle finger under her chin and urged her to look up at him again.  “Now that we’re courting, will you allow me to kiss you?”

Ren’s heart suddenly began to race at the thought, the memory of Karma and Zakiel kissing flashing through her mind.  Yes, she wanted that.  Very much.  “Shouldn’t we be married first?”

“To kiss?” Marl asked, confused.

“I know that Sir Bredon and Kapia are not wed, and they do not kiss, so I assumed it was only right for married people.  Is that not correct?”

“It is acceptable for a courting couple to kiss,” Marl said, not wanting to delve into the subject of Princess Kapia and Sir Bredon.  He didn’t fault them, but neither did he want to explain their behavior to Ren.  “We just have to be careful not to let it get out of hand.”

“Out of hand?” she asked blankly.

“Yes,” Marl said slowly, feeling his own cheeks heat a little.  “There are some things that must wait for marriage, but kissing is not one of them.”

Ren blinked up at him, a slight frown on her face as she thought about what he’d said.  “I’m sorry, Marl, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.  Is there more than kissing?”

Marl stilled as all that he’d learned of her over the previous two weeks ran through his mind.  “You know nothing of…what happens between men and women, do you?” he asked, his mouth suddenly dry. 

Ren shook her head.  “Is that bad?”

“No, it isn’t bad,” Marl said hoarsely, then cleared his throat.  He’d suspected she had less knowledge than was usual for a woman her age, but not to this extent.  For just a moment he imagined what it would be like to teach her…everything.  An involuntary shudder ran through him and he was suddenly very glad that it was dark.  And that he was wearing his cloak.

He realized that Ren’s expression was growing increasingly worried at his silence, so he raised one hand to cup her cheek gently.  “Lack of knowledge in this area is definitely not bad, beloved,” he said, moving so close that their bodies nearly touched.  “It just means that you’re innocent.”  Marl looked into her eyes and, as much as the idea of personally teaching her everything she’d ever need to know on the subject of sex heated his blood, he knew he had to give her a choice.  “If you ask, I’m certain that Lady Techu will be happy to answer any questions you have on the subject.”

“Do you want me to ask her?”

“I’ve no objection to it,” he said carefully, then sighed, frustrated with himself.  “It is customary for young women to learn these things from the eldest female of their family, which is why I suggest Lady Techu.  But if you’re asking my preference, then I must tell you that I would like the privilege of teaching you myself.”

“So would I,” Ren said with obvious relief.  “I like and trust Karma very much.  But I love you, Marl, and I trust you above all others.  As this is a personal subject, I prefer to keep it between us.”

“I’m glad of that, but I should warn you that my method of teaching will be somewhat different than Lady Techu’s.”