The Quest for the Heart Orb (19 page)

“Of course,” Karma said.

“Um, I can hear, by the way,” Kapia said.  “If you’d like, I can move further away.”

“No, that’s not necessary,” Ren said, surprising herself.  “Strange as it seems, I find that I trust all three of you even though I barely know you.”

“It’s not so strange,” Kapia said.  “We’re connected to one another through the orbs in a way I don’t understand, but I know is very real.  I’ve known you for just a couple of days, Tiari for a few weeks, and Karma a few months, and yet I am closer to all of you than anyone else I’ve ever known save my brother, my father, and Bredon.  I would risk my life to save yours, and I know that you would do the same for me, even if you don’t know it yet.  With a bond like that, how can we
not
trust each other?”

“So, you’re saying that my feelings aren’t the over-eager imaginings of a desperately lonely woman in need of companionship?” Ren asked with a hesitant smile.

“No, they’re not,” Karma replied.  “Your feelings are just as real as ours.”

Ren blinked rapidly to hold back the unexpected tears threatening to spill over her eyes.  The other women looked away, giving her the privacy she needed to collect herself.  After a few minutes, she cleared her throat and began to speak, picking up the subject of Garundel as though they’d never gotten sidetracked.  “I remember nothing of my father.  All I know is what my mother told me of him.  He’s a warrior, his name is Garundel, and I have a small package that I’m to give him.”

“A package?” Karma asked in surprise.

“Yes.  It’s a leather pouch that she sewed shut, then gave me to hold only after I promised not to open it, and to give it to Garundel when he came for me.  If he never came, she said I could open it myself on my twenty first birthday.”

“In all these years, you never even peeked, did you?” Kapia said wonderingly.

“Under other circumstances, I might have,” Ren said honestly.  “But I couldn’t break the last promise I made to my mother.”

“No,” Kapia agreed.  “Such a promise could not be broken.  That’s all you know?”

“Yes, except that my mother told me she sent him a message, telling him where we were, and to come and get me.  She died, and he never came.  I was alone.”

“I’m sorry, Ren,” Karma said.  Ren nodded, and they rode in silence for a few minutes.

“Are you going to give Garundel the package?” Kapia asked.

“I tried to give it to him this morning but he refused to take it,” Ren said with a sigh.  “I’ll keep trying.”

“I meant what I said, Ren,” Karma said.  “We will support you, whatever you decide to do.  But, if you don’t mind my saying so, I think you should consider letting Garundel tell his side of the story.”

“What difference would it make?” Ren asked curiously.

“Maybe none, maybe a lot,” she replied.  “What if he never got that message from your mother?  Ka-Teru is a long way from Sanctuary.  It will take us nearly a month on diploback to get there, and we’re cutting straight through the mountains.  There’s no telling what could have happened to a fragile slip of paper on such a journey.  Would your feelings toward him change if you learned that he never received the message?”

“Probably,” Ren admitted.  “But what if he did get it, and chose not to come?”

“Will it hurt more to
know
he did that than it does to assume it, but not know?” Karma asked.

“No, I don’t think that’s possible,” Ren said softly.

“Then you’ve got nothing to lose,” Karma said.  “It’s your choice to make, Ren.  Garundel’s actions indicate that he’s willing to abide by your decision.”

“What do you think I should do?” Ren asked. 

“You should think about it,” Karma said.  “There’s certainly no rush, and no one will press you.  If you want to talk about it some more, we’re not going anywhere.”

Ren thanked Karma and Kapia, then fell silent as the rain started again.  This time, she didn’t mind at all since it gave her a good reason not to talk.  Between Garundel and Marl, she had a lot to think about.

***

Bredon had spent the past two days, and nights, thinking about…memories…just as he’d promised Kapia.  It was a far more difficult enterprise than he’d expected since every single time the subject entered his mind, his body reacted in a manner that made sitting in a saddle uncomfortable, and standing in public without the cover of his cloak embarrassing.  It made him glad for the cold weather which, for a native desert-dweller, was practically sacrilege.

He knew perfectly well how to relieve his own…tension…and he wasn’t in the least bit averse to the practice.  In fact, he was beginning to worry that the sheer intensity of his…efforts…would surely end in some physical damage to his…self.  He’d have been quite willing to pay the cost of said damage had his…activities…resulted in some measure of relief that lasted more than a couple of minutes.

It wasn’t merely his desire for Kapia that caused this increase in…excitement.  He’d wanted Kapia for a long time, and was well practiced in keeping his feelings for her in check.  What had changed was the knowledge that
she
wanted
him
in the same way.  He shuddered at the thought. 

The afternoon was drawing to a close when he finally gave in.  He was accustomed to denying his own needs and desires.  But he could not deny Kapia.  She wanted him, and he could not leave her wanting. 

His decision made, he suddenly couldn’t wait to speak with Kapia.  Knowing that Zakiel would soon call a halt, he rode back to the group of women, and invited Kapia to ride beside him away from the others.  They rode quietly for a few minutes until they were both certain that they were alone and not close enough to anyone else to be overheard so long as they kept their voices low. 

“Have you come to a decision?” Kapia asked, breaking the silence.

“I have,” Bredon said, surprised by how calm he sounded.  “I want to speak with you, alone.”

“Are we not speaking alone now?”

“I meant truly
alone
,” Bredon said.  “Have you any ideas on how to make that happen?”

“That’s easy,” Kapia said, her cheeks flushed not with embarrassment as he thought, but with excitement.  “As a Knight of the First Rank surely you have a private tent.”

“You cannot come to my tent, Kapia,” Bredon said, aghast at the very idea.

“Why not?” Kapia asked.

“You know very well why not,” Bredon replied tightly. 

“Bredon, I spent weeks thinking you were dead, then more weeks afraid that you’d die before I saw you again.  Now you’re here, very much alive, and I have no intention of wasting a single moment of time with you.”

“We…
you
…would be the object of gossip,” Bredon said.  “Not to mention the reactions of your father and brother.  How long do you think either of them would let me live if I were to dishonor you?”

“I will speak with Zakiel first, if you like,” Kapia said.  

“You’ll speak about this with your brother?” Bredon asked, his voice faint with shock.  An image of Prince Zakiel with the claws and stripes of the Tigren standing over him in fury passed through his mind.  “And what exactly will you say to him?”

“I will remind him that we love each other, and that after weeks apart, we need to spend some time alone,” Kapia said.  “But, whether he approves or not, this is my decision to make.  I
will
be visiting you in your tent this evening, Bredon, so that we can talk privately.  After dinner?”

Bredon could not help but smile at the force his shy little Kapia had become.  He suddenly realized that she was a true student of Lady Techu, and he didn’t mind that at all.  “Yes, after dinner,” he said with a deep nod.  “
After
you’ve spoken with your brother,” he amended.

Kapia smiled, then returned to her place beside Ren while Bredon returned to his post.  The next two hours seemed interminable to her.  First waiting for Zakiel to call a halt for the day, then waiting for the tents to be erected and everyone to settle in.  She took a few minutes to wash her face and hands, then entered the neighboring tent through the connecting doorways.

“I would speak with you, Brother, and you as well, Karma,” she said.

“Of course,” Zakiel said, frowning a little at her serious expression.  He glanced at Karma, but she gave him a tiny shake of her head while Kapia gracefully lowered herself to the cushion across from them.  She didn’t know what this was about either. 

“I suspect that neither of you will much like what I’m going to say, but it must be said,” Kapia began.  “I will not hide or sneak about as though I’m ashamed.” 

“Ashamed?” Zakiel asked in surprise.  “Of what?”

“Bredon and I love each other, as you know.  As you also know, we were forced to be separated from each other for weeks.  I thought I’d never see him again.”  Kapia blinked rapidly to dispel the unexpected stinging in her eyes.

“We know that it was a difficult time for both of you,” Karma said.

“It was,” Kapia agreed.  “But we are together again, and I refuse to waste this opportunity for us to spend time together.  Private time.  Therefore, I wanted you to know that I’ll be visiting Bredon in his tent, alone, in the evenings.”

“His tent?  Alone?  Evenings?” Zakiel sputtered.  “What exactly are you saying, Kapia?  Do you intend to spend your nights there?”

“No,” Kapia said calmly.  “I want to spend time with the man I love without having to worry about what I say in front of someone else.  If this were summer, we could go for walks together, or ride away from everyone else during the day.  If we were at home, we’d have many opportunities to spend time alone with each other in the palace.  We don’t have those options now, so we must make do.”

“I don’t understand why you must spend time alone with him,” Zakiel declared. 

“You did not spend time alone with Karma?” Kapia asked reasonably.  “Tomas did not spend time alone with Tiari?”

“You are not engaged,” Zakiel pointed out.  “They were.”

“But we were not,” Karma said softly.  Zakiel glared at her but she only shook her head.  “This is not about us, Zakiel.  Nor is it about Tiari and Tomas.  This is about Kapia and Bredon, and their circumstances are unique.”

“You approve of this idea?” Zakiel asked incredulously.

“It matters little whether I approve or not,” Karma said.  “Kapia’s decisions are hers to make.  Or didn’t you notice that she is not asking for permission?”

Zakiel turned back to Kapia.  “You will do this regardless of my wishes?”

“Your opinions are important to me.  If they weren’t, I wouldn’t be here.  But, in the end, I must make choices that suit
my
life and circumstances, Brother.  Not yours.”  Zakiel stiffened and opened his mouth but Kapia shook her head and spoke first.  “Please do not tell me that I have a responsibility as Princess of Isiben to avoid gossip and maintain a spotless reputation.  Compared to my feelings for Bredon, those considerations are meaningless to me.  Besides, Karma will be queen soon, and she carries your son and daughter.  My existence is barely recognized as it is.  No one will give me more than a passing thought, if that, once you announce the impending birth of the new heir.”

“I do not agree,” Zakiel said.  “People will talk, and it will be ugly.”

“I do not care,” Kapia said succinctly.  “Do you care what people will say when they learn of your marriage to a woman not of Rathira, let alone Isiben?”

Zakiel sighed.  “No, of course not.”

Kapia softened her stance.  “Brother, this is the Orb Quest.  Any one of us could lose our lives at any moment.  I ask that you think of what Bredon and I have already been through, and put yourself in our place.  What you would want?” 

“If you were engaged, this wouldn’t even be an issue.”

“I’m aware of that,” Kapia said, for the first time dropping her eyes to the floor.

“Why aren’t you engaged?” he asked, gentling his voice.

“Because I have not been asked,” Kapia replied.  She lifted her eyes to her brother’s face and sighed at what she saw there. 

“I will talk with Bredon,” Zakiel said, already moving to stand up.

“You will
not
,” Kapia said firmly, shocking him again.  “I promise you, Brother, that if you say one word to Bredon, or anyone else, about him marrying me, I will
never
forgive you for it.”

Zakiel lowered himself back to his cushion, his shock, anger, and outrage giving way to sudden worry.  “I will say nothing to him, Kapia, you have my word,” he said finally.  “But only on the condition that you tell me why.”

“Why?”

“Why he hasn’t asked, and why you don’t want me to step in.”

“I don’t know why he hasn’t asked,” Kapia said.  “And I don’t want you stepping in because if anyone is to ask him that question, it’ll be me, and I’m not ready to do that yet.  In the meantime, I will not have him pushed into marrying me, and if you speak with him about it, that is exactly what will happen.  Then I’ll be forced to refuse him.” 

Zakiel looked at Karma, who accepted his silent plea to step in as he had no further ideas on how to handle this.  “Kapia,” she said, then waited for the younger woman to look at her.  “You‘re not asking permission, but you would like our approval, am I correct?”  Kapia nodded.  “Then we will give it under a specific set of conditions.”

“Which are?”

“You spend no more than one hour alone in Bredon’s tent with the entrance closed.  If the entrance is opened so that anyone looking in can see you both, you may stay an extra hour.  While in public, you will both follow every rule of propriety that exists for a courting couple.  I’m not certain what those rules are, but I’ve no doubt you know them to the letter.”  Kapia nodded.  “And you must swear to us both, here and now, that you will not engage in intercourse.”

Zakiel made a choking noise and Karma frowned at him.  “I’m sorry, Zakiel, but I will not risk a misunderstanding because I didn’t speak plainly.”  She turned back to Kapia.  “Given the current lack of commitment between you, there can be no chance of a child, Kapia.  I understand the power of physical desire, but there are ways to gain relief without the risk of pregnancy.  If Bredon asks you to marry him, then the situation will be different.  Unlike my own culture, yours would accept a child conceived during your engagement.  For whatever reason, he hasn’t asked.  Therefore, you must suit your behavior to the situation as it is, not as you’d like it to be.  Am I clear?”