The Question (24 page)

“What is your family going to say? I’m sure they’ll want to be there to witness it.”

“I’m sure they’ll understand. If not, they’ll get over it sooner or later. We’ve waited long enough. I don’t want to wait any longer.”

“I’m disappointed, but I wish you every happiness in the world.”

“Thank you, Rashid.” Gail was touched because she knew he was sincere. She watched him leave the kitchen.

For just a moment, she allowed herself to entertain the thought of what marriage to Rashid would be like. Goosebumps broke out on her skin at the thought of sharing a bed with him every night.  With a shake of her head, she dislodged the disturbing thought from her mind.

Her thoughts turned to Greg and her pending marriage.  If she was leaving in a week, there was a lot to do. No time like the present to get started.

Chapter Thirteen

The next morning, Gail called her mother to tell her the happy news. “Mom, I’m getting married.”

“Rashid proposed?” Her mother’s excited voice came through the line. “Frank,” she hollered, “Rashid proposed and Gail said yes.”

“Mom! No! Wait! I’m not marrying Rashid. Where’d you get a crazy idea like that? I’m marrying Greg.” Gail couldn’t emphasize his name strongly enough. She could hear her father’s strong voice in the background asking questions.

“Greg! Who is…oh, the guy you brought home for Thanksgiving. I thought he was in California. You’re marrying him? But what about Rashid? What about your children?”

Gail was so frustrated she wanted to scream. “Mom, for the last time, the twins aren’t mine nor have they ever been. I signed a contract waiving my legal rights to them. Yes, it was my eggs but they were never meant to be my babies. Why are you having such a hard time getting this through your head? You raised me to keep my word. Drilled it into me as a child. Well, I promised to have a baby for Rashid and Crystal. Her leaving doesn’t change my end of the agreement. Enough already. The children belong to Rashid. End of story.” Gail took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. This was the closest she’d ever come to yelling at her mother. 

The other end of the line was silent for a long time. “Gail, I hear what you’re saying, and I know that’s what your head believes, but what about your heart? Is it in agreement? You are absolutely correct. Your father and I raised you to honor your word, no matter what. If everything had gone as intended, I would agree with you totally— the babies belong to Rashid and Crystal. But it didn’t. Crystal took off, leaving those children motherless. Now if you can go off and leave those babies to fend for themselves, you’re not the woman I raised you to be. Those children need you, and so does Rashid.”

Her mother paused to take a deep breath. “There’s no way that you could have carried those darlings under your heart for nine months, and cared for them another seven, and not, in your heart of hearts, consider them yours. Every time you held them to your breasts and fed them, they should have stolen another piece of you. That’s how it was with all of you for me.

You’re a grown woman and I can’t tell you what to do, but I urge you to rethink what you’re about to do. Think about the impact your decision will have on the lives around you, and I think you’ll make the right decision.”

“Mom,” she said on a sigh, “I have thought about it. I’ve been thinking about it for the last seven months. My mind’s made up. I love Greg and want to be with him. I’m going to marry him and I want you and daddy to be there to witness it. It’s not going to be anything fancy. We’re stopping in Vegas for a few days and exchanging our vows there. I’ll pay for you and daddy fly out.”

“If this is what you really want to do, then I wish you happiness. However, your father and I won’t be there. I think you’re making a big mistake, and I just can’t bring myself to be there and watch it.”

Gail drew in a shaky breath, stunned and hurt by her mother’s words. “If that’s how you feel…” Her eyes stung as tears made their presence known.

“It is.”

“I’ve got to go. I have a lot to do. Talk to you later,” she choked out, determined not to cry.

“Gail,” she heard her mother calling as she pushed the end button, disconnecting the call. A few seconds later, the phone rang again. She looked at the display. Her mother. She laid the phone on the dresser—unanswered. Her mother had made her position perfectly clear. There was nothing more to say. Thank God she hadn’t told her about Rashid’s proposal.

She heard the babies stirring and went to check on them. Her mother just didn’t understand. She had to leave. She’d already lost one child. Her heart couldn’t take losing another, never mind two.

Things with Rashid were so uncertain. She had no legal rights where the children were concerned. At any moment, they could be taken away and there was nothing she could do to stop it. That’s why she’d been so careful to withhold a piece of her heart. Yes, she loved them, but she loved them the way she loved her nieces and nephews—as dearly beloved family members. That’s how she made it through the pregnancy and the last seven months, and it was this mindset that was going to enable her to get on a plane and leave next week.

That night, at the restaurant with Greg, she told him about the conversation with her mother. 

“Don’t be mad with her. She doesn’t want to lose contact with her biological grandchildren and you are her best hope of having them in her life.”

“Rashid would let her keep in touch with the children.”

“It’s not the same. Without you here, she’s dependent upon Rashid’s goodwill and kind nature. There’s no security in knowing that at any moment the privilege could be snatched away from her and there is nothing she could do stop it.”

“You’re probably right, but it still hurts. I want my parents there with me. This is my special day, our joyous occasion. Her disapproval and refusal to be there is ruining it.”

“Would you like me to call and talk to her? Maybe she’ll change her mind.”

“Thank you but no. I’ll be alright once I adjust to the idea of them not being there. The important thing is that we’re finally going to be together.”

“Did you talk to Rashid?”

“We talked last night.” Gail played with her silverware while she gathered her words, trying to decide how much to tell him. Finally, she decided it would be best to tell him all of it. “I hesitate to tell you this, but I don’t want there to be any secrets between us. You know that trip Rashid took? He was in Guam, getting a divorce. He filed on the grounds of abandonment. That’s why he was gone for so long. Apparently, it takes longer if you don’t have the other party’s consent.” She paused before revealing the rest.

Greg set his fork down and gave her his full attention. “The look on your face tells me there’s more that you’re not saying.”

“He asked me to marry him—not for love or anything of that nature—but a marriage of convenience based on friendship, compatibility, and the children.”

 “What did you say?”

Gail gave him a look that questioned his sanity. “I told him that you’d proposed and I’d accepted. That I love you and will be going with you when you leave at the end of the week.”

Gail hadn’t noticed that Greg was tensely awaiting her answer until the tension visibly left his body. “How did he react?”

“He wished me well and told me not to worry about the twins.”

Greg was silent, obviously contemplating something. Then he asked, “If I hadn’t proposed, would you have said yes?”

Her response was quick and instinctive. “No. In my mind, he’s still my best friend’s husband. Anyhow, I’d already made a commitment to you.”

“And if you hadn’t?”

Her response came slower this time. “I don’t know. He made a pretty compelling argument. My pregnancy created a bond between us, allowing us to become really close friends. Living together these last seven months only strengthened it. We’re both committed to caring for the babies to the best of our ability. Following his logic, we do have the basis for a good marriage.”

“What about passion? Sex? You’re a passionate woman. Would you really agree to a passionless marriage?”

Gail shifted uncomfortably in her seat. This wasn’t something she wanted to discuss.

“Something happened between you, didn’t it?” he asked suspiciously.

“Sorta, kind of. I don’t know. You tell me.” Then she told him about the incident with her breasts and her subsequent conclusions.

“You’re sure that’s all it was? Hormones and a sequence of events? What if it’s more?”

“It can’t be more. He’s Crystal’s husband.”

“Not anymore, he’s not,” Greg said grimly.

“Just what are you getting at?” Gail felt like he was cross-examining her.

“All I’m saying is that it would be perfectly natural for the two of you to be physically attracted to each other. You’ve been through a lot together. He’s the father of your biological children. Your attraction to Rashid doesn’t take away from your feelings for me. I’m secure enough in our love to handle your being attracted to another man. Just don’t lie about it, to yourself or to me.”

Gail searched deep inside and then finally admitted. “I’ll admit there might be a slight attraction there, but it feels so sordid. It’s just wrong to desire my best friend’s husband.”

“It’s not sordid, and it isn’t wrong. It’s the circumstances of the past year that caused it to develop. Were you attracted to Rashid before all of this happened?”

“No,” she replied vehemently.

“And if Crystal hadn’t left, would you be attracted to him?”

“We’d be closer because I really got to know him on his own merit during my pregnancy, but he still would be Crystal’s husband, who also happened to be my friend.”

“Then you have nothing to worry about. You’ve done nothing wrong. Nothing sordid. You lived in the man’s home for the last seven months and did nothing to act on the desire you feel. Attraction is nothing more than the body’s chemical response to another person. It’s what you do about it that causes the problems.”

“So you’re okay with this?”

“Hell yeah. I got the girl. You may be attracted to him, but it’s me you love and I know you’re passionate about me. When we get to Vegas, we’re going to set the sheets on fire.”

Gail smiled in agreement. “I can hardly wait.”

* * * *

“How are things going? You almost packed? You leave tomorrow.”

“Rachel, things have been crazy. Who knew moving was so much work?” Gail took another stack of clothing out of the drawer and placed them in the suitcase.

“Like what? Your stuff’s already in storage. What else is there?”

“Not all of it. I brought a lot of it here with me—knickknacks, memorabilia, and things of that nature. My computer desk, books, recliner, and movie and music collection—all of that is here with me as well. It all needs boxing up. The desk and recliner, I put into storage. I also had to quit my job.”

“I thought you quit that months ago.”

“I went out on FMLA. I spent almost a whole day at the office filling out paperwork. Fortunately, I’d already brought home the items I had at work, or it would have taken even longer.”

“Mom still refusing to come to Vegas?”

“Yes,” she hissed, still mad about the whole situation. “Can you believe it?”

“Well, if it were me she was doing it to, yes I could, but you’re the favored one. The baby girl in a family full of boys.”

“I’m not the ‘favored one.’ You’ve been married to Frank Jr. for too long. He’s rubbing off on you. But still, what mother refuses to attend her only daughter’s wedding?”

“Apparently yours.”

“Don’t remind me,” Gail said on a groan.

“You know Frank and I would be there if we could.”

“I know. Deb said the same. Tim has some big project going at work and can’t leave. Mike’s in Iraq, so that leaves him out. I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”

“Just take lots of pictures. And don’t get one of those cheesy chapels. If you’re going to do it, do it right.”

Gail began to laugh. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Now I don’t mean to sound like Mom, but are you sure you’re doing the right thing?”

Gail flopped down on top of the crowded bed. “Not you too. This wasn’t an overnight decision. We’ve been planning this move for awhile.”

“But that was before Rashid asked you to marry him. You could stay there. Be the twin’s mother for real.”

“No, I’d be their stepmother. There’s no security in that.”

“But you’d be married to Rashid. Wouldn’t that make you their legal mother?”

“Not as long as Crystal’s name is on the birth certificate. Rashid only wants to marry me because of the kids. What if he falls in love with someone else? What if Crystal returns and he decides our marriage was a mistake? I’d be right back in the same position I’m in now, only it would be a lot more painful.”

“Couldn’t you adopt them?”

“Adopt my own biological children. Hmmm, does that sound as weird to you as it does to me? I can only adopt them if their parent gives up all legal rights to the children. I don’t see that happening any time soon. We don’t even know where Crystal is to ask.”