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Authors: Stella Bagwell

BOOK: The Rancher's Blessed Event
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“Like what?”
Why didn't he put the pickup in gear and go? The grocery attendant had already loaded her few sacks in the back of the vehicle. There was no reason for them to keep hanging around in the parking lot.
“Like I've suddenly grown a set of horns or something,” she told him crossly.
He laughed, then shook his head. “Emily, I can't figure out whether you've grown incredibly young or ridiculously old. But either way, you look very pretty.”
She hadn't thought of getting a compliment from him. Nor had she expected it to fill her with such pleasure. What was the matter with her anyway?
Jerking her eyes off him, she stared out the windshield. She'd never been a woman to primp and fuss. From the age of seven to thirteen she'd grown up without a mother. During that time her father had taught her to be a cowgirl, nothing more. Later, Rose had come into their lives, but by that time Emily supposed she was too much of a tomboy to ever become a feminine fashion plate.
“Thank you, Cooper. Now can we go home?”
Home. Cooper had never believed that word would sound good to him. Especially when it was connected to the Diamond D. But more and more when he heard Emily say it, he got a warm feeling in the middle of his chest.
He was beginning to feel as if the old ranch was his home again, that being there with Emily was right and natural. Yet he knew those feelings had to stop or he was going to be in deep trouble.
Ever since he'd kissed Emily more than a month ago, he'd decided his time on the Diamond D had to be limited. As soon as the baby got here and she could do for herself, he had to leave. Maybe that was the cowardly way out for him, but the way he saw things, there was no other course for him to take. It was already becoming an effort to keep his hands off her. Nor could he bear to stay and watch her with Kenneth's baby. Either way he was damned and there wasn't a thing he could do to change it.
“Yeah, I think it's time we got home,” he said.
 
That evening while Emily was cooking supper, Cooper carried a large box and several sacks into the kitchen and placed them on the table.
“What's all that? Early Christmas shopping?”
He gave her a sly little smile. “I guess you could call it that.” With his head he motioned for her to come there. Emily laid down her turning fork and walked over to where he stood by the table.
“What is it?” she asked. “I can't let the steaks burn. All the other meat I bought is frozen.”
“I'll tend to the steaks, you see if you can use any of these things.”
More than curious, she dug into the first sack and immediately let out a loud gasp. It was maternity clothes! Quickly she looked in the next sack and the next. There were all sorts of slacks made of warm corduroy, velvet and knit, sweaters of cotton and cashmere, and dresses of soft jersey.
Looking up at him with shocked eyes, she asked, “Where did all this come from?”
“Don't worry about that. Will the things fit?”
This afternoon in Ruidoso he'd said he had something else to do while she finished her shopping. She couldn't believe he'd gone to a boutique and bought her these things! Her mind spinning with questions, she glanced at the tags inside the garments. They were all pretty much her size.
“Yes, they'll fit. But—”
“Open the box.”
“The steaks—”
Waving away her protest, he went over to the stove to tend the frying meat. “Okay, they're not burning. Now open the box.”
Like a kid at Christmas, Emily didn't have to be told a second time. She tore into the box, then simply stared at the contents.
“What's the matter? Wrong color?”
Slowly she lifted the red wool coat from its nest of tissue paper, then held it in front of her. It was a classic cut that buttoned down the front and stopped just above her ankles. The fabric was tightly woven, not only making it baby soft, but also very warm.
Tears stung her throat as she looked at him. Her mother had given her things she needed from time to time, but this wasn't the same. Not nearly the same. “The coat is beautiful, Cooper. But I don't understand—”
“There's something else in the box,” he interrupted.
Carefully lying the garment to one side, Emily peeled back another layer of tissue paper. “Snow boots!”
Quickly she kicked off her loafers and pushed her feet into the black, fur lined boots. The warmth of them was like heaven against her toes. “Oooh,” she exclaimed, “these feel delicious.”
“Then they fit?”
“I think so. Let me see.” She zipped the sides, then tentatively walked across the kitchen floor. “They're perfect. How did you know what size to get? And my clothes?”
He gave her a lopsided smile. “I have a good eye.”
Laughing with disbelief, she pulled on the coat, buttoned it, then turned slowly in front of him. “How do I look? Like a fat red robin?”
She looked like the Emily he used to know, the happy laughing woman that had stolen his breath away. “You look...beautiful.”
She laughed again as though she didn't believe him about that either and hurried toward the door. When she started to step outside he asked, “Where are you going?”
“I'm going out to see how my coat and boots work.”
“They'll work fine,” he said, shaking his head with comical disbelief. “It's too cold to be going out now!”
Ignoring his objection, she shut the door behind her.
Cursing, Cooper forked the steaks onto a platter and hurried after her. When he stepped onto the small square porch, he saw Emily out in the yard dancing happily around in the snow.
“I can't feel a thing,” she called. “I'm as warm as toast and my feet are as dry as powder!”
“That's good. Now get—”
Suddenly her footing slipped, but she managed to right herself before falling. Instantly Cooper leapt off the porch and grabbed her around her thick waist before she knew what was happening.
“Damn it, girl, what are you trying to do? Hurt yourself and the baby?”
The harsh tone of his voice broke the happy spell his gifts had given her. As she looked up at his dark face, she wondered how she could have forgotten, even for a moment, the pain this man had caused her. “You would say something like that now,” she said through tight lips. “Now that it's too late.”
His face wrinkled with confusion. “What?”
She tried to push his arms away from her. “Let me go! I can get back in the house myself!”
Ignoring her efforts to get away, he guided her up the steps and into the warm kitchen. However, once they were inside with the door shut, he still refused to let her go.
“I asked you a question, Emily. What were you talking about out there? What did you mean, too late? Are you keeping something from me about your visit with Dr. Bellamy today?”
“No! And what would you care anyway? You wouldn't give a damn if I lost this baby, too!”
As soon as she realized what she'd said, her mouth fell open and every last drop of color drained from her face. For a moment Cooper thought she was going to faint and he tightened his hold on the sides of her waist.
“This baby, too? Were you pregnant before?”
There was no point in trying to hide it now, Emily thought. She'd already let too much slip. She knew Cooper wouldn't quit until she answered him.
Nodding stiffly, she whispered, “Yes.”
“When?” he demanded.
“A long time ago.”
Her evasive answer caused him to give her shoulders a little shake. “How long ago? Tell me, Emily?”
She sagged against the crook of his arm. “What does it matter, Cooper? You didn't care. You had already gone.”
Stunned, he lifted his eyes to the ceiling. “It was...my baby?”
“Yes.”
His eyes jerked back down to hers. “And you didn't tell me! Why?” he asked hoarsely.
Her face felt frozen while inside her heart was so full of pain she thought it was going to splinter right down the middle. “Because when I found out I was pregnant you had already left Lincoln county. So I didn't tell anyone, not even my parents or aunts. I didn't want anyone knowing I'd made the gullible mistake of sleeping with a man who didn't love me.”
“You're wrong—”
“I don't want to hear it!” Pushing out of his grasp, she hurriedly left the room.
Minutes ticked by as Cooper tried to digest all that she'd just told him, but it was so hard for him to imagine Emily suffering the pain and heartache of losing a baby. His baby! Oh, God, if only he'd known! No wonder she hated him.
Their supper forgotten, Cooper left the kitchen and walked down a long hallway to where the bedrooms were located. He found Emily in hers, lying across the bed. She was still wearing the coat and boots he'd bought for her.
Her face was turned down to the mattress and the slight tremor of her shoulders told him she was crying. He felt like a jerk for ever hurting her, yet he couldn't help but be angry with her, too. She'd shut him out, chosen not to tell him about their baby. The mere idea crushed him.
“Emily.”
She turned her head slightly and looked at him. “Get out!”
“No. Like you told me before, you can't open a can of worms then just walk away.” He went over and sat down on the side of the bed. “You shouldn't be crying. It isn't good for you.”
She flopped onto her back and her wet eyes clashed with his. “I shouldn't even be pregnant! That's what Kenneth told me when he found out about the coming baby.”
Shaking his head, he said gently, “Emily, don't do this—”
“I have to do it,” she interrupted. “You wanted to know, so you need to know all of it.”
Cooper started to tell her he didn't need to know anything just so she would calm herself. But then it dawned on him that she probably needed to tell him, she needed to share the burden of her pain with him.
“Okay. Tell me,” he murmured.
She scrubbed her eyes with her fists, but fresh tears reappeared as soon as she looked at him. Cooper felt sick and helpless.
“For a long time after you left, Kenneth didn't know you and I had been lovers. He hadn't realized we'd gotten that close and I didn't tell him until—one day he came by the ranch. I hadn't seen him in a while and I suppose the sight of him only reminded me of you even more. I don't know. But anyway I was in a particularly low mood and started crying in front of him. When he began to question me, I broke down and told him about the baby.”
“I see. You could tell him. But you couldn't tell me,” he said accusingly.
Her eyes lifted to his face. It was full of bitterness and she had to wonder what her confession was doing to him. It was hard for her to believe he might have cared back then.
“You weren't around. Remember?”
“I could have been found!”
She groaned. “If a man has to be tracked down to be told he's going to be a father, then it's pretty obvious he wasn't interested in the first place!”
“I wrote you. You knew I hadn't gone off with intentions of forgetting you,” he argued.
Emily sighed. “The only thing you ever talked about in those few letters I got was about the next rodeo you were going to or the one you'd just left. And about the money you were winning. Nothing about us or when you would be coming back.”
“What the hell did you want me to talk about? It would have been wrong of me to make promises to you when I didn't know where or when my next dollar was coming from.” He grimaced as his eyes scanned her pale face. “But I guess Kenneth knew exactly what to say to you. He must have made damn quick work of proposing to you.”
“He was concerned about me and the baby. He said he wanted to take care of us.”
Cooper's eyes narrowed to calculating slits. “Why? Did he think I couldn't?”
She opened her mouth to respond, but he quickly shook his head, then turned his head away from her. “There's no need to answer that,” he said in a low, gritty voice. “I think I'm finally beginning to see how things really were.”
“What do you mean, really were?”
He looked back at her and Emily could see his gray eyes were roiling with emotions she couldn't begin to understand.
“Kenneth was just like our old man,” he said flatly. “He didn't think I could handle the responsibility.”
Emily's brow puckered. “I don't think that was the case at all. He simply thought you were no longer interested in me. And he knew I didn't want to force you into coming back and marrying me simply for the sake of the baby. I didn't want you that way.”

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