The Rancher's Blessed Event (6 page)
Read The Rancher's Blessed Event Online
Authors: Stella Bagwell
From the corner of her eye, Emily watched him start the engine and back out of the parking slot. It had snowed here in Ruidoso, too, but the streets were slushy from the heavier traffic and didn't pose a problem for travelers.
On the drive in from the Diamond D, Cooper had spoken little more than ten words. A few about the weather and even less about how she felt. Now that they were on their way back, she expected even less out of him. Well, that was okay with her, she thought. She didn't want to talk to him about her baby. She didn't want to talk to him about anything. The time for that had passed a long time ago. Like when she'd asked him to stay on the Diamond D, instead of leaving her and heading out to parts unknown.
Cooper was already out of Ruidoso and halfway to Hondo before he realized he'd been so deep in thought he'd not spoken to Emily since the two of them left the clinic.
She probably thought he was angry with her. And maybe he was a little. He didn't know. He was still finding it hard to accept the fact that Emily was pregnant. He didn't want to believe it. Though he couldn't understand why. Emily didn't belong to him. She never had.
“Did my brother know you were pregnant?”
Blurted out of the blue, his question put a look of shocked dismay on Emily's face. “Of course he knew,” she answered.
His eyes remained on the highway ahead. “I thought maybe you'd just learned about your condition in the past few days. You look like skin and bones.”
Ignoring the part about her appearance, she said, “I'm three and a half months along.”
Surprised, he began to do swift calculations in his head. She'd be having the baby in five and a half months! Soon she'd become encumbered by her condition. What had she been thinking when she'd told him she could handle taking care of the ranch? Did she hate him so much she'd tell him anything just to get rid of him?
“I suppose Kenneth was excited about becoming a father?”
Not for anything did she want Cooper to know how opposed Kenneth was to this pregnancy. Glancing away from him, she said, “I guess you could say he was more surprised than anything.”
A few moments passed in silence. Glancing at him from beneath her lashes, she saw he was frowning.
“He did want the child, didn't he?”
Emily sighed. She wished Cooper would let it all drop. Kenneth was gone. He'd never be a father to the child she was carrying. So why did it matter to him? she wondered.
“I think deep down he wanted a child. But things had gotten so...well, our financial situation wasn't ready for a surprise pregnancy.”
“The pregnancy wasn't planned?”
Planned wasn't exactly the right word for it, Emily thought. True, she hadn't been using birth control, but after years of trying to get pregnant and failing, she hadn't seen any need for prevention. When Dr. Bellamy had given her the news she was expecting, she'd been shocked and ecstatic. Kenneth had simply been stunned.
She frowned at him. “Do you really think that's any of your business?”
Cooper supposed it wasn't. But he couldn't explain how she'd been in his heart all these years. He couldn't tell her how even though he'd been gone, he'd thought and wondered and wanted to know everything about her.
“Forget it,” he muttered. “You don't have to tell me anything. I'm just a little taken aback that Kenneth wasn't thrilled about becoming a father after all this time.”
Tears were suddenly biting her throat. She tried to tell herself it was because Kenneth hadn't really wanted this child. But she knew in her heart the tears were for the baby she'd lost ten years ago, the baby Cooper had never known about.
“Kenneth had a lot of worries,” she murmured. “My being pregnant had added to the list.”
“So he never really wanted children?”
Emily's gaze dropped to her lap. She was still dressed in her old work clothes. Dried mud from where she'd fallen still clung to the front of her jeans. She knew she looked horrible and for the first time in a long time, she was ashamed of her appearance.
“At first Kenneth wanted a child. But I... we were never able to conceive. After a few years he gave up on the notion.”
“But you never did.”
For years Emily had desperately wanted a child to nourish and love and to have that child love and need her in return. And in all that time she'd never completely given up hope that God would give her a baby. She hadn't expected Cooper to pick up on those feelings. The fact that he had left a bittersweet ache in her heart.
“No. I never gave up.”
The remainder of the trip was made in silence. Emily was relieved when the ranch finally came into view. The day had been traumatic for her in more ways than one. Now she simply wanted to lie down and try to gather her tangled emotions back together.
With Emily resting in her bedroom, Cooper was at a loss as to what to do next. As he wandered restlessly around the living room, he considered all the things he should be doing and those he wanted to do.
It was unusual for him to have free time on his hands. Even just a half a day. Normally he was on the road driving from one town and one state to the next.
Rodeo had been good to him. He couldn't deny that. But it had also stolen many things from him. A home, a family, the simple joy of watching the sun rise and set in the same place.
But then he hadn't planned on making the sport his life for ten years. Nor had he planned on Emily marrying Kenneth a few short months after he'd left, either. But she had. And because of her, Cooper had lived the life of a nomad ever since.
With a weary sigh, he walked over to the fireplace and stacked several logs on the dying embers. He didn't know what Kenneth would think about him being here now and a part of him didn't care. Except for her parents, Emily was alone and pregnant and very nearly bankrupt. She obviously didn't want him here. But in all good conscience, he couldn't leave her now.
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A few hours later the sky was growing dusky dark when Cooper looked up from his hammering to see Emily approaching the barn where he was working on the roof. Though it had quit snowing several hours ago, the wind was bitterly cold. He figured she didn't need to be out in the weather. However, it was quickly becoming apparent to him that Emily was still as strong minded as she used to be. She wouldn't take kindly to his ordering her around. Even if the order had concern for her welfare behind it.
“What are you doing down here?” he asked. “I've already fed the horses.”
She tilted her head back and gazed up at his lofty perch. “I figured as much. I came down to tell you supper was ready.”
It didn't make sense, Cooper thought, as he looked down at her. Everything she said pointed to the fact that she hated him. Yet she'd walked all the way out here in the freezing cold just to tell him it was time to eat.
Jamming the hammer and nails into his coat pocket, he slid down the corrugated iron until he reached the ladder propped against the side of the building. Before he put his boot on the first rung, Emily grabbed the bottom of the ladder to steady it as he climbed down.
Once he was standing on the ground, he thanked her for her thoughtfulness and for a moment he believed he saw a blush on her cheeks. But night was quickly falling, sending shadows playing across her hat and face.
“What were you doing up there?” she asked as the two of them headed across the barren ranch yard, toward the back of the house. “I didn't think there was any more extra corrugated iron in the barn.”
“I wasn't replacing it, just nailing it down where the edges had torn loose. Hopefully it will last for a while. Tomorrow, I'll drive into Ruidoso and buy some supplies. Maybe you can give me some sort of idea what else is needed around here and we'll make a list.”
His words should have comforted her, Emily supposed. What normal woman, pregnant at that, wouldn't want a strong man around to help her? But Cooper wasn't just any man. He made her think and hurt. Just looking at him brought her close to tears. She couldn't take that sort of mental torture day after day. She had the baby to think about now!
“I thought you were leaving,” she said flatly.
The ground was rough and rocky between the barn and the house. Several times Cooper caught himself wanting to reach for her arm to steady her. But he didn't. When he'd touched her earlier today at the feed grounds, he'd sensed an undercurrent of sorts. If there was a dormant fire still simmering between them, he definitely didn't want to wake it up. One physical relationship with her had more than taught him a lesson.
“There's no way in hell I'll leave now.”
“Why?”
He opened the door and motioned her inside. “Get in the house.”
After their coats were off, Emily placed dishes of food on the table while Cooper tried to answer her question.
“It should be obvious to you,” he said patiently. “I can't leave you now.”
Slowly Emily turned away from the cookstove. Her eyes pinned him with a look of angry disbelief. It was incredible that he was saying this to her now. Ten years too late! She wanted to yell and curse at him, pound her fist against his chest until there was no pain, no tears left inside her.
“Get this straight, Cooper Dunn, I am no concern of yours. You might own part of this ranch, but you don't own me. You never did and you never will!”
Her outburst should have infuriated Cooper, but if anything it worried and puzzled him. The bitter fury in her eyes was so deep and strong he felt physically struck by it.
“Emilyâ” Compelled by the need to calm her, he crossed the room and lay his hand on her shoulder. She was outwardly trembling. “Emilyâ” he began again, his voice husky with concern. “What's wrong? You're so upset you're going to make yourself sick.”
The touch of his hand snapped her back to the moment and she realized she had to draw herself together and fast. The last thing she wanted to do was let Cooper know how much he'd hurt her. Even worse, how very much she'd loved him.
She drew in a long breath and let it out slowly. “I'm okay. I'mâ” Her gaze dropped to the toes of his boots. “My nerves are frayed, Cooper. Every little thing sets me off. I didn't mean to lay into you so harshly. I justâwant you to understand that my being pregnant has nothing to do with you.”
Her face was so pale and drawn. He wanted to smooth his fingers over her cheeks until her skin bloomed rosy and full of life again. “The child is my niece or nephew.”
“That's true. But that doesn't mean you have to alter your life.”
His hand unconsciously began to knead her shoulder. “Maybe I shouldn't remind you of this, but you know my mother died giving birth to me.”
“Cooperâ”
“She was headstrong just like you,” he went on before Emily could stop him. “When she came down with a fever Dad wanted to take her to the hospital, but she insisted a good night's sleep was all she needed. She went into early labor. Coupled with the fever, it was too much strain on her heart. She died before she ever had the chance to hold me in her arms.”
Tears blurred Emily's eyes. She squeezed them tightly shut and swallowed several times. “It won't be like that for me, Cooper. I'll take care of myself. You see that I went straight to the clinic today after my fall.”
“Yes. But you need someone here to look after you.”
She wiped her eyes and looked up at him. The gentle regard on his face both touched and angered her. If only he'd shown her as much ten years ago. If only he'd wanted to stay and take care of her then when she'd needed and wanted him so badly. But he hadn't known she was pregnant with his child. And neither had she, until he'd already been gone for two months. He shouldn't be blamed for something he hadn't known about. But God forgive her, she did blame him. She couldn't help herself.
“If need be, my mother can stay with me.”
One corner of his mouth crooked upward. “Do you think that's fair to her?”
Ruffled again, she stared into his clear gray eyes. “I'm her daughter. She loves me and would do anything for me.”
“I'm sure of it. But as I remember, your mother and father were a very close couple and spent lots of time together. Or has that changed now that they're a little older?”
Seeing what he was getting at, she shook her head. “No. It hasn't changed. And if you're trying to make me feel like a burden, you're doing a good job.”
“I'm not trying to make you feel like a burden. I'm trying to make you see you need someone here with you.”
Her mouth fell open and she laughed harshly. “And you think you're that someone? Get real, Cooper. You're not a man who could stay in one place for more than a week, much less look after a pregnant woman.”
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