The Reason Why (24 page)

“Thanks, ma. And just so you know, I got your back. I'll let my man know what kind of woman he's got in his corner when he gets out.”

“I wish you could let him know right now. I miss him so much.”

“I'll write that fool a letter or something.”

“Thank you!” Pam told him. She stood and hugged Young Mike tightly.

“Don't give up on him.”

“I won't.”

“Don't let that fool push you away. Right now he doesn't know whether to shit or go shopping. He's fighting his case, he's worried about you, and he's got a lot of other shit on his mind. By pushing you away, he's trying to get rid of one of his worries, but don't let him do it.”

Pam stared off into space and nodded. “You're right. I'm going to fight for what we have.”

“You two big heads belong together. Trust me. I knew my man since way before you came, and I see how my man is after you came. He's better because of you.”

Pam kissed Young Mike on his cheek. “Thank you for saying that.”

“Just telling the truth,” Young Mike told her. He opened up his GED book again.

“What are you studying?” Pam asked.

“Just the basics. I got two more tests and I'm done.”

“That's great! I am really proud of you. I can't believe that you actually did this.”

“I had to do something. I didn't want to be in the streets my whole life. With my GED and the money I make hustling and boosting and fencing, I think that I might go to college.”

“Are you serious?” Pam asked excitedly.

Young Mike nodded. “Maybe junior college at first, and then maybe transfer to a big college.”

“That's great,” Pam told him. “What do you want to major in?”

Young Mike leaned back and his eyes darted around the apartment.

“There's no one here but us,” Pam said.

“I know. But promise me something.”

“What?”

“Promise me that you won't tell anybody that I want to go to college. And promise me that you won't tell anybody what I want to major in.”

Pam held up her right hand. “You have my word.”

“I want to major in nursing.”

“Nursing?”

“Kinda crazy for a dude to want to be a nurse, right?”

Pam shook her head. “No. But what made you decide on nursing?”

“My aunt is a nurse. She used to tell me how bad the hospitals need male nurses. And my counselor at GED class tells me that nurses are in demand and that they make a grip. He also said that I could go back to school and become a physician's assistant. He said that it was something like being a doctor.”

“It is. Why not just go ahead and become a doctor?”

Young Mike nodded and winked at her. “One step at a time, right.”

Pam smiled. She knew what he meant. He really wanted to be a doctor but was afraid to come out and say it. He told people something much lower than what he was shooting for, to keep people from laughing and telling him that he couldn't do it. His dreams would be their secret.

“One step at a time, Mike.” Pam nodded. “But remember, you can do anything you put your mind to. And I just want to say this. You say that you're not the sharpest pencil in the box, but you're a pretty damn sharp one. I love you, baby boy.”

P
am hesitated to see Chino. Walking away was definitely not an option. She had come to love her gangster husband. He was her Clyde, and she was his Bonnie. There was no more Chino without Pam, and no more Pam without Chino. She had to go to that place and make him see that. She had to make him understand. They could no more go their own separate ways than a right leg could walk away from the left one. They were one now. One body, one soul, one spirit. Their hearts shared the same rhythm. She could feel his pain, and she knew when he needed her. He needed her now. Especially now, more than ever. She would go to him.

“What are you doing here?” Chino snapped.

“I'm not going anywhere, Christonos,” Pam replied. “You can say what you want to say, you can curse me out, but I'm not going anywhere. I love you, and I would never do anything to hurt you. And I'm going to fight to the death for what we have.”

Chino exhaled and looked down.

“I know that you're going through hell in here,” Pam continued.
“I can't say that I know exactly what it's like, but I know that it's rough on you. I know that you have a lot on your plate, and this is where I come in. A real woman doesn't walk away and leave when the chips are down. A real woman stands by her man, and she fights with him. I don't know what kind of woman these other niggas in there have, but I'm not them. We're not them. Nobody knows what we've been through, and we can't put ourselves in somebody else's shoes, and nobody can walk in our shoes. This is our relationship, Chino. Only we can decide what's best for us. Only we know us. Nobody can tell me anything about my man, and nobody can tell you anything about your woman. You know me, and I know you. Let's fight through this thing.”

Chino nodded. “Who is this nigga that you was with?”

“Chino, I told you. He's just a guy that I had classes with at school. I just wanted to get out of the house. I talk about you twenty-four seven, Chino. That's all anyone around me hears about. How much I love you.”

“You got feelings for this nigga, Pooh?”

Pam shook her head. “No, not like that! Not at all. He's a guy from school, Chino, that's it. I love you. No one can take your place!”

“Tell me the truth, Pooh, have you did anything with this dude?”

Pam held up her right hand. “I swear to you, Chino. I have never done anything with Erik. I have never even thought of doing anything with Erik. You are my heart, Christonos. I could no more betray you than I could cut out my own heart.”

Chino shook his head. “Man, are you still going to be going out with this nigga?”

Pam shook her head. “No. I realize now that it looked bad and I don't want to put you through anything more than what you're already dealing with.”

“And you're going to see this cat on campus?”

“Chino, I'll switch my schedule around if that's what it takes. I'll drop the class that we have together. Whatever it takes to make you believe me. I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy, baby.”

Chino nodded. “I didn't mean those things that I said to you, Pooh.”

She raised her hand, silencing him. “I know, Chino. I don't want to talk about that. I know that you were just hurt and lashing out. Let's just move on from here, baby.”

Chino nodded.

“Have you talked to the lawyer?” Pam asked.

Again he nodded. “I talked to that fool yesterday. I'm thinking about firing his ass. He only come down here when it's time to ask for some more money.”

“You want me to look in the phone book for another lawyer?”

“Yeah. This big-time cat in here got this big-time Jew lawyer. He's supposed to be the best in Ohio. I got to get his name again. I'll call you when I get it, and I want you to call him and see what he'll charge to fight my case.”

“I'll take care of that,” Pam reassured him.

“This cat I got now is telling me that we are going to have a motion to suppress hearing. He says that's where the state has to present all of their evidence to the judge, who is going to rule on what evidence they can bring to trial. He says that we might be able to get the money suppressed, because the
park rangers didn't have a search warrant and so they shouldn't have searched my car. He said that the state is going to say that they could, because of the shootout, and because they found the drugs on Malik. But that's bullshit, because old boy that searched my car wasn't nowhere near those other cats when they finally searched Malik. Those were two different searches and two different groups of police cats.”

“So, you think you are going to beat it?”

“Well, not the pistol case. It was self-defense on the shooting, so they aren't charging me for assault with a deadly weapon. My lawyer was thinking that they were at first, just to try to throw a bunch of shit at me, so I can get scared and plead out. But right now he thinks that the only thing that they have is an unlawful carrying case.”

“But the gun was legal, wasn't it?” Pam asked.

“The gun wasn't stolen or anything, so that part is straight. It's just that I didn't have a license to carry a weapon. And if I say that I was transporting it, then they are going to testify that I didn't go into my trunk to get anything out. You can transport a weapon, but the gun has to be inaccessible to the clip. One has to be in the glove box, and the other in the trunk, or something like that. They gon' say that there is no way I had time to pull a clip out of the glove compartment and then the gun out of the trunk, while being shot at.”

“There's got to be something the lawyer can do.”

“We're fighting it, Pooh. I'm in the law library every day, trying to fight this shit. I might have to plead out to the unlawful carrying and roll with that.”

“What does that mean? You have to go to prison?”

“Just for a short time. Maybe go and get a number and do a
turnaround. That shit is like a five-year bid at the most, so I can't see me doing nothing but going through diagnostics and getting a number.”

“No!” Pam said, shaking her head. “No, Chino! You can't go to prison! I can't do this without you. I need you out here with me. You find a way to beat it. You find something!”

“Baby, I'm looking! Trust me, I don't want to go. I'm just keeping it real with you. Would you rather me lie to you?”

Pam shook her head. “No.”

“You just keep strong on your end, and keep it tight. You can wait for me, can't you?”

Pam nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

“You promise? Promise me that you'll wait for me, and that there won't be no bullshit in the game.”

“I promise you, Chino.”

T
he state prison was an entirely different world. It was a place with its own codes, its own rules, its own laws and condition. It was a world unto itself. It was a place where the slightest sign of disrespect, whether real or imagined, could cost a person his life.

The rules were that you took nothing, and you expected nothing in return. It was a place where all a man had was his word, and he didn't break that word for shit. His word was his bond.

Another unwritten rule in prison was that you stuck with your own. Prison was divided not only along racial lines—blacks stuck with blacks, and whites with whites—but along geographical lines. Columbus stuck with Columbus, Cleveland with Cleveland, Dayton with Dayton, and Cincinnati with Cincinnati. You stuck with your city, and you represented your city. All the hoods and crews within the city came together and got down for one another. There were no hoods in the state joint, just cities and towns.

“What up, family?” Pee Wee said, greeting Chino and some other Columbus cats. “What it do?”

Chino and Pee Wee exchanged handshakes. “It do what it do, baby!”

“Little Chino, we balling tonight?” Pee Wee asked.

“Hell yeah!” Chino told him.

Pee Wee was a habitual. He had been in and out of the joint his entire life. He caught his first beef killing his stepfather in his sleep after he had beat his mother. The juvenile prosecutor had it in for Pee Wee and made sure that he did time for the murder. He'd never been out of prison for more than two years since that first conviction.

Pee Wee was prison built. He was six foot four, two hundred and eighty pounds of muscle. He looked as if he were a bodybuilder, straight off the cover of
MuscleMag
. His bald head and the hoop ring in his nose made him look like an evil bull. The jail guards avoided him and so did everyone else. He had killed more than three men with his bare hands. He was a trustee within the system, so he was allowed to reside in lower-security prisons.