The Reason Why (26 page)

“Man, kid running around the hood looking bad,” Infa added.

Chino nodded. “I'll talk to him. As soon as one of y'all run into him, scoop him up and give me a call.”

“So, is it on again?” Chris J asked, rubbing his palms together.

“Hell yeah,” Chino told him. “I'ma get with Dragos in a few days and get us back on again.”

“That's what I'm talking about!” Corey said happily.

“You been home, yet?” Chris J added.

Chino nodded.

Chris J, Infa, and Corey exchanged glances. Rock looked away, and Ant couldn't look at Chino.

“What?” Chino asked.

No one said anything.

“What the fuck's going on?” Chino asked.

“Man, this broad I'm fucking with be seeing your girl on campus with old boy,” Ant told him.

“What? You talking about that nigga Erik?”

Infa nodded. “Old boy is papered up.”

“So, that don't mean shit,” Chino said. “He papered up. Y'all think Pooh is fucking with this nigga?”

Chris J shrugged. “That's for you to decide.”

“Don't clam up now,” Chino told them. “Tell me what you know.”

I just heard that the nigga is papered up severely,” Infa told him. “And that him and Pam be chilling and shit. Now, beyond that, I can't call it.”

“What she tell you?” Rock asked.

It was the question that rocked his world. Chino thought about what Pam had told him. She had promised him that she wasn't going to go out with this nigga again. Apparently, they had just moved their relationship on campus, away from the eyes of the people she knew that he fucked with. She had lied to him, and what reason would she have to lie to him, other than the fact that she and this nigga must have something going on? His Pooh had been lying to him the whole time.

Chino felt like he had been kicked in his gut. He felt his eyes grow a tiny bit watery, but there was no way in hell he was going to appear weak in front of his boys.

“Man, fuck that bitch!” Chino said, dismissing the conversation. “Man, I'ma get outta here and go and make some collections.”

Rock gave him dap. “All right then, kinfolk. I have that for you.”

The rest of the crew gave him pounds and fist taps, and all promised to have his money ready for him. Chino climbed inside his Land Cruiser and pulled away. His thoughts turned to his Pooh. She had pretended the whole time that she had
been down for him, and all the while she had been doing this nigga Erik. He was hurt, and also angry. He couldn't picture his Pooh lying under another man. He had been her first and he thought that he would be her only. The thought of her giving herself to another man was killing him. And he wasn't the type to take pain easily. It was eating him up inside.

D
riving back home, Chino thought about Young Mike. The boy had his hustle game tight. Pain wrenched deep inside of his gut. He just couldn't believe it.

He knew that Pam had grown close to his friend while he was away. She thought of him as a little brother. Why hadn't she said anything? Chino pushed open the door to the apartment and stepped inside.

“Hey, honey,” Pam said. She stood over the stove cooking. “I'm making your favorite tonight. A big juicy steak, a cheesy baked potato, and some cream corn.”

Chino walked up behind her and stood silent. Pam turned and faced him.

“What's the matter?”

Chino shook his head and looked down. His expression told her that something was wrong.

“It's Young Mike,” Chino said, softly.

“What? Chino, what's wrong with him?”

“They found him.”

“They found him? What do you mean, they found him?”

Chino exhaled. “He's dead, Pam.”

Putting her hands up to her mouth, she exclaimed, “No! No, Chino!”

Chino pulled her close.

“Noooooooooo!”
she screamed.
“Nooooooo!”

Chino wrapped his arms around her. Pam pulled away from him.

“Chino, what happened? Who did that to him?”

Chino shook his head. “No one. He killed himself.”

“Why?” Pam cried out. “Michael, why?”

Again, Chino shook his head. “No one knows. No one but Young Mike.” His story would be buried with him.

“Nooooooo!”
Pam started falling to the ground. Chino held her up. “I can't believe this, Chino! I can't! Why, God? Why?”

Pam shoved Chino away and raced out of the apartment. She found herself racing down the street until she was out of breath. Breathing heavily, she looked around and found herself at a school. It was the weekend, and after hours, and so the school was empty. She leaned against the building and began crying like a baby.

“Why, God? Why?” she screamed. Why did He have to take Young Mike? Of all the people in this world He could have taken, why Young Mike? There were niggas out there not doing shit with their lives that He could have taken. There were people in this world hurting other people; why not take them instead? It was not fair. God was wrong for this one. Young Mike never hurt anybody. He never hurt a fly. He was just a youngster trying to get his life together. He was good.

Pam fell to the ground in tears. All Young Mike wanted to do was get his GED, go to college, get a good job, and take care of his grandmother and little sister. What was wrong with that? Why take somebody who wanted to do good? Why take somebody who wanted to be a doctor and help other people? Young Mike had a good heart. Whether or not he would have or could have become a doctor was beside the point. The point was, it was in his heart to help people. Despite all that he had gone through in life, despite the shitty hand that he had been dealt, he still wanted to do good!

Pam kicked the school building. “He never had a chance! You didn't give him a chance!” she shouted at the school.

That school, in her eyes, represented all that was wrong in life. It represented all the things that had conspired to destroy Young Mike. It was the place that had doomed him from the beginning.

“It's all your fault!” Pam shouted. She rose from the ground, searched the area, and found an empty soda can. She chucked the can at the building. “You did this! You failed him! You let him slip through the cracks, and you didn't give a shit! He was nothing but a statistic to you! Just another black face! You fucking asshole motherfuckers!”

Chino pulled into the parking lot and climbed out of his Land Cruiser. He walked to where Pam was chucking rocks and sticks and cans and bottles and whatever else she could find at the school. He grabbed her and pulled her close.

“They killed him, Chino!” she screamed. “They killed him!”

“No, Pooh! Nobody killed him! He killed himself! He killed himself!”

“Why, Chino? Why?”

“Things just got too tough for him, that's all. Life just got a little rough.”

“He was going to make it! He was going to be a doctor and save people!”

Chino swallowed hard. “They say his girl left him, he was desperate for money, and he had just caught a new case.”

Pam shook her head and pointed at the school. “They killed him.”

“They didn't kill him, Pooh.”

“He wasn't a street kid or a hustler or a booster or a fencer or a dope dealer! That was what everybody else expected him to be. He was sweet and innocent, and he had a heart of gold. He just wanted to help people. He wanted to help his grandmother and his sister, and save lives.”

“I know, Pooh.”

“It's not fair,” Pam cried.

“I know, Pooh. I know.” He held her tightly. “It's going to be okay, Pooh. Everything is going to be okay. He's in a better place now.”

“He should have been in a better place down here, Chino. I failed him We all failed him.”

“No, Pooh. He chose to take his own life. It's not your fault, my fault, or anyone else's fault.”

“Chino, he sat at our table, studying for his GED. He told me that he wanted to go to college. I should have helped him study. I should have taken him down to the community college myself and registered him. I shouldn't have let him move out. I shouldn't have taken all that money that he owed you, Chino. When he gave it to me, I should have let him keep
some. I should have made sure that he saved more of his own money and didn't blow it on bullshit.”

Chino shook his head. “Pooh, he was grown. We loved Young Mike, but he wasn't our responsibility. We gave him a place to stay, we looked out for him, we did the best we could.”

“We should have done better!” Pam snapped. “We should have done more, Chino. I just can't believe this! I can't believe that he's gone!”

“He's gone, and that leaves us, Pooh. That leaves us here to keep moving forward, to keep moving on. We have to keep on living now.”

Pam wiped her tears. “I just don't understand how God could take someone like Young Mike.”

“It's not for us to question. We just have to live our lives and do the best we can. You understand that, Pooh?”

Pam nodded.

“C'mon,” Chino said, extending his hand to help her up. “Let's get out of here before somebody calls the police.”

Pam rose, dusted herself off, and walked with Chino back to his SUV.

“S
o, what's on the agenda for today, kinfolk?” Infa asked, while leaning in the window of Chino's Land Cruiser.

“Yo, you know what dude looks like fo sho?” Chino asked.

“What dude?”

“This Erik cat,” Chino told him. “I know what he looks like, but not for sure. You know what I'm saying?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Infa nodded. “I know what cat daddy looks like for sure.”

“I need to roll up on dude and see what he's talking about,” Chino said.

“Why you checking for dude?” Infa asked.

“I need some information.”

“About Pam?” Infa asked, lifting an eyebrow.

Chino nodded. “I want to pull up on fool and see what he's talking about.”

“Like what?” Infa asked. “What can dude tell you? He can be shitty and say he knocked boots, or he can be slick and
claim that he didn't. Either way, you really won't know the truth.”

“I need to see this cat,” Chino told him. “I can tell what he's about once I look into his eyes. You rolling or what?”

Infa nodded, walked around the SUV, and climbed inside. “Man, I hope you know what you doing.”

“What?” Chino grabbed his pistol. “You think that nigga wanna trip?”

“He might.” Infa shrugged. “The nigga ain't no punk.”

“Man, fuck that nigga!” Chino said.

“You right,” Infa agreed. “But do you really want to go on campus and get into it with that fool? The campus police be tripping, and neither one of us belong on campus.”

Chino turned onto the Ohio campus. “I'ma roll by the student center and see if I see that fool. Keep ya eyes out.”

Infa nodded. “Damn, this shit must really be important.”

Chino nodded. “It is. Nigga, you would do the same thing if it was your girl.”

“If it was my main girl?” Infa shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe I'd just let her go, or get over it. I don't know if I would go and check the nigga. He can't do no more than she let him. Pimp rule 101. Don't check the nigga, check the muthafucking ho. Not that I'm calling your girl a ho, but you know the rules.”

Chino nodded. Infa was right. Maybe he was out of order for checking to see if Pam had gotten out of line. Checking for this nigga was one thing, but checking this nigga was something completely different. He really didn't want to get arrested on campus, but he had to see this fool. He had to let this fool know that he was around and that he could find him and get at him. If he wanted to get at Pam, then he would play
head games back with the nigga. I see you, nigga, is the message he wanted to convey. Plus he had to know if Pooh crept. He couldn't bring himself to admit it to Infa, but not knowing was killing him inside. He couldn't touch Pooh until he knew something.