The Reluctant Cowgirl (14 page)

Hearing Lindsey’s name rocked his balance, but he quickly reminded himself that they’d announced her name on TV. “How do you know Lindsey?”

The girl acted like he hadn’t spoken and he realized that he’d learn more if he just let her talk. Harder to do than it sounded. “She said that you lost custody of Beka”—another knife, but again he knew his daughter’s name was public knowledge, too—“but that you were so abusive they still had to hide from you.” She drew in a shuddering breath. “So when Lindsey didn’t come back, I didn’t know what to do ... She stayed gone a month once before.” She pushed her hair back from her wet cheeks. “Working out of the country, she said. And sometimes she couldn’t be in touch.” She shrugged and, clasping her shirt cuffs, rubbed both eyes with her knuckles. “But then this morning, Beka saw you on TV and she was so excited.”

Jeremy pushed to his feet. “You know Beka? Where’s Beka? Where’s my daughter?” He reached to grab the girl by the shoulders.

Jack stepped closer and put a warning hand on his arm.

The girl unfurled her fist and pointed.

The deputies and Jeremy whipped their heads around to look at a small newer-model economy car parked in the driveway.

Jeremy heard the girl’s voice behind them. “She fell asleep on the way over here. My roommate’s with her.”

He leaped the porch railing and bolted across the driveway, mindlessly praying as he ran, his boots barely touching the gravel.

“Jeremy, wait,” he heard Jack call, then more words, but Jeremy wasn’t listening.

The brunet in the front shrank back against the seat as Jeremy skidded to a halt just before he connected with the hood. Her eyes were wide in a pale face.

But his gaze quickly went past her to the blond head in the backseat. He stepped around to the side, and through the window he could see that the little girl was asleep on the opposite side of the backseat in a “big girl” booster seat, very similar to the dust-covered one he had in his garage. Her blond hair hid her face, but everything about her looked like his Beka.

He opened the door softly, his pulse pounding in his ears. His hand trembled as he reached over and gently brushed her hair back. Joy filled his heart so full he thought it might burst. A choking noise came from his throat as he tried to keep from yelling her name and thanking God at the top of his lungs. He slid in beside her and put his arm around her.

She stirred and her eyes popped open. He stared into those familiar pools of blue for a split second before she reacted. “Daddy? Daddy!” she squealed and wriggled against the seat belt.

He fumbled with the seat belt and finally she was in his arms. Out of the car, he clutched her to him and buried his face in her silky hair, breathing in the baby shampoo scent. With both hands, she pushed his face back and kissed him on the nose. He laughed and kissed her on the cheek. He ran his hands over her arms and little legs, not as pudgy as he remembered, but longer and stronger. He touched her feet.

“Do you like my pink toenails?” Her smile was shy.

“I love them, Little Bit.”

“Amanda did them. And she let me wear my sandals today, even though it’s not May yet, so you could see them.”

For the first time, Jeremy remembered the girl who had been crying on the porch. He glanced toward the porch. There she was, now talking earnestly to Jack, with Luke still sitting beside her. The other deputy had apparently gotten the roommate out of the car and was questioning her over by the deputy’s car. Jeremy’s eyes went back to the porch.

Crystal stood on the bottom step, watching him and Beka. He waved to her, feeling as giddy as a kid at Christmas.

“Want to call Grandma and Grandpa?” he asked Beka.

“Yes.” She ran her soft little hand over his razor stubble and turned his face toward her in a way she’d done a thousand times before. In a way he’d been afraid she’d never do again. “Are they at home?”

He nodded and put his finger to his lips. “Shh ... let’s surprise them.”

Her eyes twinkled.

His dad answered the phone brusquely. “Did you hear anything?”

“Y’all need to come down here right now.”

“Is it something bad?” The fear in his dad’s voice made him regret not blurting out the news immediately.

“No, it’s something fantastic.” He heard the click in his ear before he could say another word.

He smiled at Beka. “I think they’re on their way.”

She wriggled in his arms, and he let her down but held onto her hand.

“Who’s that?” Beka whispered as they walked toward the porch. “She’s pretty.”

“I call her Sleeping Beauty,” Jeremy joked when he knew Crystal could hear him. “But you can call her Miss Crystal.”

Crystal squatted down and stuck her hand out, tears wet on her cheeks. “Pleased to meet you, Beka.”

“Pleased to meet you, too.” Beka touched Crystal’s hair. “Are you really Sleeping Beauty?”

Crystal cut her gaze at Jeremy, but he could tell she was too happy to even pretend to be mad at him. “Not really. But I did fall asleep on the porch once.”

“This porch?” Beka looked at the porch. “Hey. Why is Amanda crying?” Before Jeremy could stop her, she broke free of his grasp and ran over to the girl, who wasn’t actually crying anymore but had red swollen eyes. “Amanda, what’s wrong?”

Jeremy followed her, unable to let her get out of touching distance.

Amanda smiled at Beka. “Are you happy to see your daddy?”

Beka bounced on the balls of her feet as she nodded. “Um-hm. I am.” She touched Amanda’s arm. “Can I go home with him?”

Amanda nodded. “Yes, honey. I think that’s what you should do.” “Will you come, too?”

Amanda shook her head. “I don’t think so.” She looked over at Jeremy. “Maybe when things are all worked out, Michelle and I can come visit you sometime.”

“When you don’t have classes?” Beka said.

“Right.”

Beka glanced around. “I want a drink.”

“Please,” Amanda said then glanced up at Jeremy, and a sheepish expression crossed her face. “Sorry. Habit.”

“Please, may I have a drink?” Beka said, her sweet smile never faltering.

Jeremy ruffled her hair.

“How about lemonade?” Crystal asked.

Beka nodded and Crystal disappeared into the house.

Jeremy heard the roar of a truck motor and glanced toward the lane. His dad’s truck careened into the driveway. Before he killed the motor, the passenger door flung open and his mom jumped out.

Jeremy looked down at Beka, half-expecting her to be shy, but he watched the realization of who it was dawn on her face. “Grandma!” She ran down the steps and into the arms of her grandmother.

Jeremy stood on the porch steps and smiled as his dad came running up behind them and swooped them both up into his arms. His heart overflowing with thankfulness, Jeremy rushed forward and added his own arms to the four-way embrace.

“You’re squishing me,” Beka’s thin little voice protested.

He laughed and stepped back a little.

Just enough not to squish.

But still close enough to touch.

Crystal stepped off the porch, a cup in her hand.

His gaze met hers over Beka’s head. Suddenly he knew what it would take to make this circle complete. The question was ... did she know it, too?

When the front door opened, Crystal looked up from where she was helping Elyse and Rachel pack up the phones and fold the table.

Luke stood in the doorway with an odd look on his face. “I’m going to fix Amanda and Michelle a plate,” he said.

She nodded. In a totally uncharacteristic move, her brooding brother had stayed right with Beka’s babysitter ever since she’d shown up on the porch earlier. He reminded her of a German shepherd protecting a child.

He turned and motioned. The two girls stepped inside. They looked straight ahead and followed Luke to the kitchen.

Elyse, Rachel, and Crystal exchanged looks. “It doesn’t look like they’re charging her with anything,” Rachel murmured.

Crystal glanced out the window where Beka was on the porch swing between her grandparents, enjoying her lemonade.

The door opened again. “Crystal? Could you come here for a minute?” Jeremy’s face looked so young. From the second he’d seen Beka, the years had just seemed to fall away from his face and his stature.

“Sure.”

Out on the porch, he guided her to the opposite side of Beka and his parents to where Jack Westwood stood waiting.

“So what’s going on?” Jeremy said.

It occurred to Crystal that he’d waited for her to be there before he found out the details about Beka’s return. The thought warmed her.

Jack glanced at his notebook then back at them. “As Beka said, her name is Amanda. Her roommate is Michelle. They’re University of Memphis students. We believe they had no idea Beka was a missing child.”

Jeremy frowned. “So you really don’t think they had any part in the kidnapping?”

Jack shook his head. “They answered all the questions the same, over and over. No stumbling over facts, no getting mixed up. Even though we questioned them separately, their stories agreed completely. And I didn’t get the feeling that their answers were rehearsed.”

Jeremy glanced at Crystal as if asking her opinion. “I just can’t imagine they didn’t suspect something.”

“Amanda said that lately she’d started to wonder if Lindsey was doing drugs.” Jack put his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. “Amanda answered an ad for a babysitter last June. Two weeks after Beka was taken. Apparently your little girl was left in Amanda’s care, at the house she and Michelle share, most of the time since then, with Lindsey just popping in and out occasionally.”

Crystal looked across at Beka on the other end of the porch. She had moved to her grandma’s lap and was happily drinking her lemonade. “Which is probably a good thing.”

She felt Jeremy relax beside her. “Beka does seem happy and not...” He seemed to fumble for the words. “Not hurt.” He ran his hand across his face. “I’m so thankful.”

“The sheriff’s out of town, but the other deputies and I don’t see any reason to take Amanda in for further questioning. Do you?”

Jeremy hesitated then shook his head. “No. I guess as far as I’m concerned, she’s free to go.”

Crystal put her hand on his arm. “Have you thought about how Beka’s going to react to Amanda leaving? After living with her for all those months?”

Pain flitted across his face, and she almost wished she hadn’t brought it up.

“I’m going to have to figure out a way to make that easier, I guess.”

Crystal nodded toward the house. “Oddly enough, Luke’s sharing food with her in the kitchen. Something he normally wouldn’t do with anyone, much less a single girl. Why don’t we go in there and try to get to know her a little bit?”

“I don’t know...” Jeremy glanced at his daughter.

“Your parents will stay right here with Beka. And when you take her home, they’ll have to go to their own house. So it’s nice for them to have some time with her.”

“You’re right.” He followed her into the house.

No one was in the living room, but laughter from the kitchen drew them forward.

Rachel, Elyse, Luke, Amanda, and Michelle were sitting at the big table eating when they walked in. In an instant, the room grew quiet.

Amanda’s smile faded. “I’m so sorry,” she said to Jeremy. “I wish I’d known.”

“I wish you had, too.” His words were curt, but Crystal knew it was just because he needed someone to blame. Someone alive and here.

Luke stiffened.

Amanda dropped her gaze to her food and kept it there.

Across the table, Michelle let her fork hit her plate with a clatter and gave Jeremy a hard look. “You know, Amanda arranged her class schedule this year to match Beka’s school hours. Not to mention the dates she turned down. And half the time Lindsey would ‘forget’ to pay her.”

Amanda jerked her head up. “Michelle, I enjoyed having Beka around. It was no trouble.”

Michelle’s face softened. “I know you did. But I don’t get why you’re letting him treat you like a criminal. You did what you thought was right. And you’d die to protect that little girl and we both know it.”

Elyse, ever the peacemaker, hopped up. “Let me fix y’all a plate.”

Crystal put one hand on Jeremy’s arm and motioned Elyse away with the other one. “You’re exhausted from answering the phone. Sit down and eat. We can fix our own plates.”

Jeremy’s gaze took in Elyse and Rachel. “Speaking of answering the phones, thank you both for doing that.”

He looked at Michelle then at Amanda. “And thank you for keeping Beka safe.” He and Crystal filled their plates without speaking then walked over to the table, where conversation still hadn’t resumed.

Jeremy slipped in next to Amanda. “I’m sorry I made it seem like this was your fault.”

She gave him a shy smile. “Thanks.” She turned back to her plate then stopped and looked up at him again. “Is there any chance I could see Beka from time to time?”

He frowned and his eyes met Crystal’s. She knew he wanted to say no. But how could he really?

“It’ll be hard on Beka not seeing you, Amanda,” Crystal said softly, in a not-so-subtle hint to Jeremy.

Jeremy’s jaw stiffened but he nodded. “I think we should be able to set something up.”

“Really?” Amanda’s eyes lit up. “I’d love that.” She gulped her lemonade, and Crystal sensed she was trying to hold back tears. “I’m going to miss her.”

Jeremy fidgeted, visibly anxious to get back to Beka. “I’m going to go back out and see how Mom and Dad are doing.” He pushed his chair back and excused himself.

“I’m finished, too.” Amanda glanced at Michelle. “We’d better get on the road. You’ve got that big test Monday.”

On the porch, Amanda crouched down in front of Beka. “’Bye, sugar. I’ll miss you.” She blinked several times and smiled. “I’m going to come back and visit pretty soon, okay?”

At first Beka’s expression reflected uncertainty, but then her face crumpled, tears flowing. “I don’t want you to leave.”

Jeremy looked stricken. He squatted down next to Beka. “Hey, Little Bit, Amanda has to go home for now, but we’ll drive over and see her next week”—he shot Amanda a questioning look and she nodded—“and pick up your stuff...”

Beka’s tears dried some but still trickled down her face.

Amanda smiled and poked Beka gently in the tummy. “I’ll get your things ready. So when you come, you can bring them back with you.”

Beka sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “But I want to go with you.” It was more of a token protest than anything. The tears had stopped.

Crystal watched as Amanda forced a happy expression to her face. Her heart must be breaking. Sometimes love involved sacrifice with a smile. “If you go with me, you won’t have your daddy. Remember how sad you were when you weren’t here with him?”

Beka wrapped her arm around Jeremy’s neck and nodded.

Amanda smiled. “I’ll see you soon, okay.”

“Okay,” Beka said in a small, thin voice that touched Crystal’s heart.

After Amanda and Michelle left, Elyse and Luke walked with Rachel and Jack out to their cars.

Crystal cut her gaze over to Jeremy, who was leaning against the wall beside her, watching his daughter, now sitting on the swing with his parents. “You need to take the food home with you.”

He shook his head. “There’s just the two of us. You keep it.”

“There’s just one of me.” How pitiful sounding. But true.

He stared at her as if he wanted to say something. But instead he turned to his mom. “How about you and Dad take most of the food to your house?”

Mrs. Buchanan smiled. “Under one condition. That all three of you come eat lunch with us tomorrow after church.”

“You know Beka and I will be there,” Jeremy said.

Everyone looked at Crystal. Hey, who was she to bring a happy moment down? She smiled. “I’d love to. Thanks.”

“Want to help me load up the food?” Jeremy asked her.

“Sure.” She followed him into the quiet house. “I think there’s a cardboard box that one lady brought her food in. Maybe we can pack it in that.”

As they walked into the kitchen, he stopped and she almost plowed into him.

He turned around to face her and the kitchen suddenly seemed much smaller.

Her eyebrows drew together. “What’s wrong?”

“I just wanted to thank you again for helping me find Beka.” The expression in his eyes was unreadable. “You’re an incredible person, Crys.”

The familiar nickname sounded different on his lips, affectionate and intimate. She shivered. How had she become so attached to this man so quickly? And more importantly, how could she slow down the tide of emotion he always seemed to bring? She’d have probably been better off if she’d just gone along with his offer to take care of things and hurried back to New York when she had a chance. She stared up at him. “Thanks.”

He gently pushed her hair back from her face. “I’m glad you decided not to let me take care of the ranch alone.”

Her heart pounded in her throat. He had an uncanny way of knowing exactly what she was thinking. As a matter of fact, when she looked into his eyes, she had the feeling he could see all the way into her soul.

He cupped her cheek with his palm. “I’ve never known anyone like you.”

She gave him a tremulous smile. “Is that a good thing?”

“You tell me,” he murmured as he pulled her close and lowered his lips to hers.

The thought that she was leaving and that this was a complication she didn’t need surfaced, but only for a split second, then she relaxed in his embrace. His kiss was the sweetest she’d ever known, and for a minute, everything else faded away.

He raised his head and brought his hand back up to her face. “So? Is it a good thing?”

She nodded, still frozen in place.

He dropped a kiss on her forehead and walked on into the kitchen. “So where’s the box?”

She stood where he’d left her. Excuse me. Had the best kiss of the century not just happened on this very spot? Surely that deserved a few seconds of savoring. Her mind raced. Or had it just been a thank-you kiss?

The kitchen door burst open and Beka came running in. “Can I help, Daddy?”

“Sure you can, Little Bit.” He set her up on the counter. “As soon as Miss Crystal gets us a box, we’ll pack it all up.”

Crystal unfroze and hurried over to retrieve the box from the utility closet. She handed it to him, hoping he wouldn’t notice that her hands were shaking. Or that she wasn’t a lot of help.

“Strawberry cake. Lemon cake. Yum...” He winked at Beka. “We’ll slip these home and not tell Grandma.”

Beka giggled.

“Green bean casserole, broccoli and cheese ... those can go to Grandma’s.”

Crystal handed him a bowl of banana pudding and he took it without looking at her. She studied him and he still didn’t meet her gaze. She had a strong hunch that she wasn’t the only one who was nervous. And what was there to be nervous about a thank-you kiss? She grinned. She didn’t think she’d misjudged after all.

“All packed.” He set Beka on the floor and handed her a loaf of bread. “Now don’t get this smushed, okay?”

Beka giggled again and scampered out. Jeremy scooped up the box and tried to wrangle two grocery bags.

“Hello? Remember me?” Crystal couldn’t resist.

He finally looked at her, and she could see the reflection of her own confusion in his eyes. She definitely wasn’t the only one who’d been taken off guard by their kiss.

She reached for the grocery bags. “I can help.”

He nodded. “Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

He walked out and she followed him.

Out on the porch, she blushed, suddenly sure that his parents knew what had happened in the kitchen.
Don’t be ridiculous,
she scolded herself.
She
didn’t even know what had happened in the kitchen.

They packed the food into his dad’s truck, and Jeremy lifted Beka up on his shoulders. “Let’s head home, kiddo.” He turned toward his parents. “Want to come by for a while?”

His dad laughed and took his mom’s hand. “Took you long enough to ask, boy.”

His mom giggled like a giddy teenager. “We’ll meet you there.” She reached up and dropped a kiss on Jeremy’s cheek. “I’m so happy.” She reached higher and squeezed Beka’s pudgy hand. “See you in a few minutes, sweetie.” She waved at Crystal. “See you tomorrow.”

They climbed into their truck and left.

Jeremy turned to Crystal, still holding Beka on his shoulders. His smile was genuine but a little unsure. “Thanks again.”

She hung on to the porch post and watched them leave, pushing hard against the loneliness creeping into her heart.

This had been the perfect day. All was as it should be. Jeremy seemed happy to act like that amazing kiss in the kitchen had never happened. Which meant that even though her Broadway path had taken a short detour, it was back on track. Her heart needed to stop longing for what it couldn’t have.

“The end.” Jeremy closed the book and leaned forward to kiss Beka’s cheek. “I’m so glad to have you home.”

She clung to him. “Don’t go. Stay with me till I go to sleep, Daddy.”

He kissed her hair. Like there was any way he was going anywhere. “Okay, Little Bit. Say your prayers. I’ll be right here.” He released her and sank into the rocker beside her bed.

Beka snuggled into the covers and closed her eyes. He’d thought she might protest that she didn’t know how to pray, after all those months away, but her sweet voice rang out strong. Probably had Amanda to thank for that. “Dear God, thank You for everything You give us. Thank You for Daddy and Amanda and Michelle. And Mommy. Please watch over me while I sleep and keep me safe. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

His heart twisted that he had to figure out how to tell her that her mommy was dead. Even as he thought it, he realized that Lindsey was almost an afterthought in Beka’s prayer. Her mother had been a stranger when she’d abducted her, and then she’d promptly dumped her with a babysitter. But it would still be hard to tell her. He knew that on the level that all children love their parents, Beka loved Lindsey.

As he watched Beka toss around and try to get comfortable in a strange bed, he faced the terrible truth. Lindsey hadn’t really wanted Beka. She just hadn’t wanted him to have her. As Beka stilled and her breathing evened out, he said his own prayer. He’d come so far toward forgiving Lindsey after the funeral. For his own good, and for Beka’s, he couldn’t afford to let the bitterness seep back in, no matter how tempting.

And, really, tonight, how could he be mad at anyone about anything? He rested his head against the rocker. Tomorrow they’d go to Sunday school and worship. And after that Crystal was coming to lunch with them at his parents.

His face grew hot as he remembered the few minutes after their kiss. Even though he’d initiated it, he hadn’t expected their connection to impact him so deeply. Because of that, he’d reacted like an idiot. She deserved more. But he hadn’t known how to disguise his confusion without just getting away from her.

He slipped his phone out of his pocket and stared at the time: 9p.m. Texting wasn’t his strong suit, but he could manage a few words to keep from waking Beka by calling. He scrolled to Crystal’s number, pulled up a blank message, and typed,
CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU TOMORROW.

He stared at the words and inhaled deeply. Was he ready to move forward like this message implied? Now that Beka was home, there was nothing standing in the way of following his heart. He hit SEND.

In a couple of minutes, his phone vibrated. He pushed the button to view the message.
ME, TOO.

A smile tilted the corner of his lips, but he wasn’t sure what to say. What if she was busy and didn’t want to talk?
SEE YOU AT CHURCH. NIGHT.

When her message came back, he felt like a kid in high school, fumbling to open it.
SWEET DREAMS.

He chuckled in the quiet room.
YOU, TOO.

From the top of the cedar chest at the end of the bed, he pulled a blanket across him. He stuck a stuffed elephant behind his head and looked at Beka one more time. Then he closed his eyes and sighed.

The perfect end to a perfect day.

Crystal sighed and floated upstairs, humming a love song from
Making a Splash.
She seemed to remember Aaron trying to make her promise that she wouldn’t flirt with Jeremy. Did
Sweet dreams
constitute flirting? She grinned at the phone. If it did, then so did
You, too.
So Jeremy was as guilty as she was. And after what happened in the kitchen, she was pretty sure that conversation with Aaron was irrelevant.

She glanced at the closed door at the top of the stairs and hurried into the sewing room. Her satchel and suitcases took up so much space. She glanced at the big dresser on the wall. Feeling a little like a snoop, she walked over and opened the drawers. The first two held patterns and fabric, but the other four were blissfully empty. She knew her mother would be happy if she made herself at home. She sang loudly while she unpacked her suitcases into the drawers. When the job was done, she sat back with satisfaction. Now her hanging clothes were in the closet, and everything else was in the drawers.

She glanced over at the double bed. As long as Kaleigh didn’t mind sharing if she came home for an overnight visit, Crystal had a place to stay until her parents came home. And if today was any indication, it could be an exciting three weeks.

She clutched her phone and stood, unable to stop herself from reading Jeremy’s text messages one more time. She’d been sure that he regretted the kiss, but now she wasn’t sure at all. Had he set out to drive her crazy? Or did it just come naturally?

She slapped the phone down on the dresser and walked out of the room. She needed a distraction.

In the hallway, the closed door pulled her attention just like it always did. “I don’t need that big of a distraction.” Her voice echoed in the quiet house.

Or did she? Last night, she’d opened the door. That had been a logical step. No sense in ripping off the hide with a Band-Aid that had been on for so long. Slow and easy, that was more her style. Maybe she should just turn the light on and look in.

She twisted the doorknob. Before she could reconsider, she flipped the light switch on.

The first things she saw were the posters. THE LION KIND. MAMMA MIA. HAIRSPRAY. That last one had been a graduation present. And Cami had barely gotten to hang it on the wall before she was gone.

She forced herself to look at the picture above her own bed. An amazing aerial photograph of the ranch. Crystal had loved the small one so much that she’d asked for a framed enlargement for Christmas and had gotten it. She’d planned to take it to New York with her to stave off the homesickness. But her family had spoiled her, gathering her clothes for the funeral and the ones she wanted to take to New York with her. She’d never come back in this room.

Still standing in the doorway, she allowed herself to look around a little. For some reason, she’d expected dust on the furniture, but there was none. She immediately thought of her mother’s quiet strength. Facing her daughters’ room on a regular basis. One gone forever. The other gone for all intents and purposes.

What was it Jeremy had said about his parents? That in his own pain about Beka’s disappearance, he hadn’t considered theirs? Crystal knew she’d been equally guilty of that.

On the dust-free oak nightstand, Crystal spotted her well-worn Bible. Exactly where she’d left it seven years ago. She stared at it for several moments without blinking. If only getting right with God were as simple as just picking it up again.

Before she considered what she was doing, she darted in and grabbed the Bible then darted back to the doorway.

Breathless and feeling more than a little silly, she ran her hand over the grainy leather and traced her name, embossed in gold. Her parents had given her this when she’d gotten baptized. In her hand, it felt light. But her heart knew better.

She flipped through the pages. Her eyes immediately fell on a highlighted verse. “‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,’” she whispered. One of the many verses she’d committed to memory back then. At the time, she couldn’t imagine ever going a day without reading the Bible. Much less seven years. Of course at the time, she couldn’t have imagined losing her twin, either.