The Reluctant Dom (27 page)

He would never ask her, as Kaden hadn't, to go through hell just to have a baby.

But now, the thought that the choice had been made for him, without a chance to try, saddened him in some ways. Or maybe it was his crushing melancholy over his other thoughts, trying to force the phrase “last Christmas” from pounding through his mind.

It felt
wrong
to step into Kaden's life, to take over, almost seamlessly, and carry on. He'd spent much of his life wishing he was Kaden, had Kaden's life and family and money ... and yes, his girl. And now, at this most critical of times, he desperately wished he could take Kaden's place.

So Kaden could live.

It wasn't fair.

Why couldn't he, the fuck up, be the one dying? Not the good guy with everything to live for.

The sound of tires on the shell rock driveway caught Seth's attention. He craned his neck to look. Ed's car. He didn't know Ed was coming over today. That explained why Leah wasn't running around totally nekkid outside.

Well, unless Kaden needed him for something, he'd prefer not to hang around and listen to their conversations. It sucked to be him, but he knew it really had to suck to be Ed, responsible for helping Kaden make the legal arrangements.

Seth had gone back to work when Leah returned a few minutes later. She wore a different T-shirt, tucked into her denim shorts.

“What's up, babe?” Seth asked.

“I was sent to help you.”

Seth's gut twisted. That meant Kaden didn't want her overhearing, confirming his suspicions. “Sure.” He handed her a spool of string. “Follow me and you can help me mark the paths.”

* * * *

An hour later Ed left, waving as he drove down the driveway. Seth and Leah returned the gesture. Kaden soon joined them outside.

He acted normal, not letting anything slip. “When's dinner, sweetie?”

“Whenever my guys want it.”

Seth's heart flipped at her statement. She wasn't just his, he was hers, too.

It felt good.

“How about in an hour?”

“Okay. I'll go get it started.”

As she walked away, Seth sat in the grass. “Well? Want to spill it now or keep me in knots all night?”

Kaden laughed and sat with him. “Naw, it's okay. Just more paperwork.”

“I figured you were trying to get rid of her to talk to me. Like you got rid of her to talk to Ed.”

“Think she noticed?”

“Duh. She's not stupid, dude.”

Kaden shredded a blade of grass in his long fingers. “Just more preparations. I want everything I can get handled now done before the first of December.”

Seth's heart froze. “Why?”

Kaden noticed his look and laughed. “No, dork. No bad news I haven't shared already. I want to kick back and totally relax. Enjoy. I want to be able to spend time with you two. Besides, you still have a lot to learn.”

“What about Denise?” Kaden's sister had called and left Kaden a message on his voice mail the day before.

Kaden shrugged. “That was one of the things I was taking care of today. I redid my will and totally cut her out.”

Seth laughed. “That's going to piss her off.”

“Yeah, well, I won't be around to deal with it. I'm sure you can handle her.” He met Seth's gaze and laughed.

“Thanks, buddy.”

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Chapter 15

Two weeks before Thanksgiving, Seth and Kaden had half of the light display up. Seth was in a great mood. He'd accompanied Kaden to the doctor two days earlier. Apparently Leah's rabid insistence on vitamins, supplements, and a healthy diet were paying off. Kaden was still dying, nothing had changed there, but his test results hadn't declined from the last visit.

The oncologist was still noncommittal concerning a time frame, other than to offer a guesstimate of at least six months, probably longer, and two years wasn't looking impossible at this rate.

Two years!
Seth knew it was stupid to latch onto that but he did anyway.

He spent several nights a week in their bed. Sometimes Leah came to his room and spent a little alone time with him before going to spend the night with Kaden. As weird as it was, Seth now understood Kaden's point of view. He rarely felt jealous, and subdued his sometimes envious pangs with the thought that it was only right and fair she spend time alone with Kaden. Sometimes he found himself insisting she spend the time alone with Kade.

Making love to her was beyond description. And even when it was the three of them together, there were plenty of nights it was vanilla—as vanilla as it could be in a ménage.

Leah also seemed to need fewer trips to the playroom, something that greatly relieved Kaden.

Although Seth had to admit he was growing more comfortable taking the leading role in their private scenes. He'd taken Leah to the club twice more, and two more times the three of them went.

Seth was outside with Kaden, trying to set up another set of lighted animals, when Leah walked out with two glasses of iced tea. The men gratefully took a break, sitting in the shade. Even for a Florida November the day was unusually hot and they'd quickly shed their shirts as the heat built.

Kaden noticed her look first. “What?”

“Hmm?”

“I know that look, babe. What's on your mind?”

Leah plopped down in the grass in front of them. She reached out and traced Kaden's tattoo with her finger. “I was thinking.”

After a minute he shook his head. “Seth, I think we'll need the singletail to get this out of her.”

She laughed. “No. Okay. Fine.” She took a deep breath and dropped her gaze to the ground. “It'd be nice if you both had one.” Then she lifted her eyes to Seth.

He wasn't following her. “Huh?”

“I know you said you didn't want me to get you anything for Christmas, but...” She didn't finish.

Kaden looked at Seth and laughed. “Ah. I see. She wants a matching set.”

Seth had worried that's what she meant. “Oh.”

“I mean,” she quickly said, “if you don't want to, I understand, it's okay. I shouldn't have mentioned it, I'm sorry.” She'd started to stand but he grabbed her hand.

“I hate needles.”

She looked at him. “I know,” she softly said. “It's okay if you don't want to.”

Seth studied her green eyes, finally nodded. “You guys might have to carry me out of there if I faint but okay. I'll do it, babe.”

* * * *

That's how, two days later, Seth found himself seated in a tattoo parlor in Sarasota. It was the same place Leah and Kaden had gotten theirs.

He hoped they kept a barf bucket close by.

Kaden smiled. “I can't believe you were in the Army and never got a tattoo.”

“I can't believe you're an attorney and you aren't a slimy asshole.”

Leah laughed. “Touché.”

Seth gripped her hand a little tighter as the tattoo artist began inking the design. Seth had learned the circular motif was called a “triskelion” and was the unofficial symbol of BDSM practitioners.

“I do appreciate this, Seth,” Leah whispered.

“Make sure you show me,” he managed through gritted teeth.

“Man up,” Kaden teased. “Don't be a pussy.”

“Fuck you.”

“Not in your wildest dreams, dude.”

Seth tried not to watch what the tattoo artist did. It hurt like a sonofabitch. He admitted it—while he was good with pain, he sucked with needles, which is why he never got inked before.

Kaden, a smile on his face, sat near the end of the table. “Just be thankful I didn't let her talk me into the other one she wanted me to have.”

“I don't want to know.”

He grinned. “No, you don't.”

Leah pouted. “It would have looked so neat.”

“Hey, I never made you get your clit pierced, so don't go playing the pouty card on me, little girl.”

Seth tried not to shudder. “You guys are gonna make me faint. If I don't puke first.”

Kaden used his foot to nudge the garbage can a little closer to Seth.

Several hours later, he had a design identical to Kaden's. After getting instructions on how to properly care for it while it healed, he turned to Leah. “I wouldn't have done this for anyone but you.”

She smiled and stood up on her toes and kissed him. “I know. And I love you for it.”

Well, damn.
That was more than enough to make the pain worth it.

“Now I have another request,” she said.

Kaden turned. “What's that, sweetheart?”

“Can I get my masters’ names added to my design?”

Seth couldn't read Kaden's expression. After a long moment, his friend nodded. “It's all right with me.” He looked at Seth.

Seth shrugged. “Okay.”

She told the tattoo artist what she wanted and laid down on the table while he traced a design on her lower back with a pen. She looked at it in the mirror and nodded. “Perfect.”

Seth closed his eyes and didn't watch. He sat next to Kaden, each of them holding one of her hands. When it was done, she jumped up to look at it in the mirror. Kaden's name gracefully curved over the top of the triskelion, and Seth's below it.

“Thank you!” She kissed Kaden, then Seth. She drew them both close and dropped her voice. “Now there will never be a question who my masters are,” she whispered to them.

Despite his queasy stomach, Seth nodded. “All right. Can we go now? Before I barf all over the place?”

“Wuss,” Kaden chided.

“Yeah, and proud of it.”

After the bandage came off later, Leah was after Seth every couple of hours with the moisturizer lotion recommended by the tattoo parlor.

“Gee, Mom. I'm a big boy now,” he playfully groused.

“Shut up. You don't want to have problems with it.”

He wouldn't deny she took damn good care of him. He sat on the end of his bed while she finished applying yet another round. He pulled her into his lap. “I meant it when I said I wouldn't have done this for anyone but you.”

She put her arms around him. “I know.”

He kissed her, enjoying the feel of her body against him. “So the right woman was under my nose all this time, hmm?”

“Yeah.” She ran her fingers through his hair, smoothing it. “I prayed you'd eventually figure it out.”

He captured her hand in his and brought it to his lips. “Seriously.” He took a deep breath. “I can't share you with anyone else but Kaden. I mean that. You know that, right?”

Her smile broadened. “I know. And I'm not sharing you with anyone.”

“You're okay with that?”

“I'm really okay with that.” Her face saddened a little but he recognized it as a newer expression she'd worn lately, one that meant she was dealing okay with her emotions and didn't need a trip to the playroom. “I just wish the three of us could have a lot more time together.”

“I'm sorry I was an idiot for so long.”

That brought her back. She smiled again. “But you're mine now, and I love you.”

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Chapter 16

“I hope we don't get FP&L climbing up our asses over this,” Seth groused as he looked over the sketches and worked on his final calculations. “We might need to rent a generator.”

Kaden shrugged. “Whatever we need to do.”

“I think it's safe to say you've outdone yourself this year.”

“That was the plan, man.” Kaden's satisfied smile couldn't be denied a reply.

Thanksgiving was in five days. The first of Kaden and Leah's dinners would be held the evening after next, a small, private dinner for some of Kaden's closest staff at his office. Seth had thought about going to his brother's house to leave them alone. Leah nearly burst into tears when he broached the subject.

“You can't go!”

“Honey, you don't need me in the way.”

“I need you here!”

He hugged her, calming her. “Okay, I'll stay. Calm down.” His brother and sister-in-law were coming to the house for Thanksgiving dinner, along with some other family and close friends. The three of them had finally broke the full news to them, as well as Kaden's brother, about why Seth was living with them. Not in total detail, leaving out the BDSM stuff, of course. Seth was surprised they took it as well as they did.

Helen was especially sympathetic. At one point she pulled Seth aside when they were alone. “Don't forget that if you need a shoulder, I'm here for you.”

Seth nodded, wiping his eyes. “Yeah, thanks.”

“I know it's unusual but in the grand scheme of things, if it brings them both comfort to have you in their lives, then don't worry what anyone else thinks.”

He'd always liked Helen. Not the way he liked Leah, more like a true sister. “I wish everyone was as understanding as you.”

It was one less stress on Seth's plate. He didn't give a shit what people he barely knew thought about him. He did care what his brother thought. He didn't want them thinking any less of Leah for what would happen ... after.

Kaden had told a few people close to him what was going on and what would happen. They were sworn to secrecy and to not shower Leah with well-meaning condolences before his death. Everyone was to go on as normal.

As normally as they could.

Seth walked the entire set-up one more time, checking connections and outlet placements. They'd done limited zone tests as each section was set up but not the entire thing at once. As dusk drew close, Seth put away the sketches. “Okay, I guess we're as ready as we'll ever be.”

Kaden called Leah from the house. They gathered around the breaker box. Seth had wired in separate sub-boxes to handle the new circuits.

“Okay, gang. If I get electrocuted, call 911,” he joked.

He threw the switch.

The entire property lit up. Inflatables started inflating, moveable animals started moving, and the lights drove back the falling dark.

Kaden's face lit as brightly as the yard. “Wow!” he whispered, awestruck.

Seth hung back as Kaden walked out to the driveway and surveyed the front yard area. “This is amazing!” he exclaimed. “I mean, seeing it all at once like this ... You did a great job! It's fantastic!” He enveloped Seth in a bear hug. Seth didn't feel at all uncomfortable returning it.

“Thanks, man. It was your design.”

Kaden clapped him on the back and released him, then turned back to the display. He wiped his eyes. “It's great, man!” He pulled Leah to him and hugged her. “What do you think?”